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So, here's how my day went:
I had to give one of my patients our department's albuterol inhaler because they had breathing troubles. It was okay and all. So, I had to go to the pharmacy and pick up another albuterol. That entails a shuttle bus ride. So I'm waiting in front of my building, and there over by where the valet guys sit is this parakeet, walking around on the ground. I look at him, say, "huh."
So the parakeet goes over by this automatic sliding glass door, and the bottom is mirrored metal, and so the parakeet is looking at his reflection when the door whooshes open and almost crushes him; I stopped it with my foot. So then I'm standing there like the dutchboy while somebody goes and gets me a box to put this parakeet in. So all these people are gathered around asking what's up, and I'm like, "look--I gotta catch this parakeet; somebody get me a box."
So somebody gets me a box and I catch the parakeet with my hand and put him in a chinese takeout box. So--I'm like, "now what? I caught him, now what do I do with him?"
So the lady I work with, she calls a vet, and he gives us the number of a bird rescue place. They say they'll take him.
So I drive down 10 miles south of Dallas to this wildlife bird rescue place; it's 2 government shack-looking things in the middle of zoned industrial. I come up to the place, and there's like 2 or three peacocks walking around out front, and this scruffy looking chickenlike thing. He told me his name was Gonzo, right?
So, I go in there and there's a lady at the desk. I say, "I'm not delivering Chinese food, I got a parakeet here." The place is filled with crates of birds, and birds flapping around everywhere.
It's like Dr. Dolittle, right?
So she takes the bird, because it's too cold for a parakeet outside right now. She asks me, "does he bite?"
I say, "well he's got no teeth, but DAMN what a beak."
Then there's this flapping next to my head, and a bird lands on my shoulder. I say, "okay. What kindova bird just landed on my shoulder." I don't want to look at him, he might Gruumsh Odin me. Y'know, put my eye out or something.
She says, "oh, that's Larry. He's a wild starling. He's one of our biggest failures. He likes people."
So I look over at him, and he looks at me. What a character. Larry the tame wild starling. Some birds are run-of-the-mill, but I could tell this Larry was a real character.
So I look at him, "Larry,....most people suck. But you're allright."
That's all I got.
Director of Sales
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She says, "oh, that's Larry. He's a wild starling. He's one of our biggest failures. He likes people."
Y'know... my Zando-Zan creators said the same thing about me.
I want to know more about the guy who almost crushed the bird! Was he mad when you stopped the door on him? Did he comically face-plant the glass, smear his nostrils on the door, and slide precariously to the ground?
DETAILS, man, DETAILS.
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I want to know more about the guy who almost crushed the bird! Was he mad when you stopped the door on him? Did he comically face-plant the glass, smear his nostrils on the door, and slide precariously to the ground?
DETAILS, man, DETAILS.
I think it was the door itself that almost crushed the bird, not a guy.
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Naah, I say, "hey, hold on! Stop!"
And he's like, "what? What's wrong?"
And I say, "nothing. There's a parakeet right there. I don't want the door to get him."
It's like this weird Monty Python skit. "Uh, pardon me sir. This door is out of order, for you see,...it will smash that parakeet."
And then all these people are all happy to see this parakeet there, like the baby on the battlefield on "Children of Men," and I kept standing there trying to keep the door from hitting this parakeet, trying to get somebody to get me a box. I knew I could catch it by hand, but then it would sit there biting me for 5 minutes.
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You've sucked me in.
I must know how your encounter with Larry ended.
Did he fly off voluntarily? Have to be removed?
*I heart random*
He landed on my shoulder, then the lady took him off of my shoulder. So then he flew over again, and I picked him up with my finger like a damn parrot and put him on the counter like.
And he looks at me like , "hey, guy. What's the big deal?"What a character.
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I think it was the door itself that almost crushed the bird, not a guy.I want to know more about the guy who almost crushed the bird! Was he mad when you stopped the door on him? Did he comically face-plant the glass, smear his nostrils on the door, and slide precariously to the ground?
DETAILS, man, DETAILS.
Yeah. The bird's over there where the door slides to to open, pecking at his reflection in the metal. Totally oblivious to the danger looming to his left. No detect traps ability what so ever.
Nifty story. :) Thanks for sharing it.
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I'd demand some xp for that side quest.You're welcome!
It was just so weird, I had to blab about it. I'm minding my own business and blammo! Weird adventure...
The whole time, I'm driving to this place on the outskirts of town, this parakeet scrabbling around in a chinese takeout box, two main thoughts:
1) this would be a great leadin to a horror flick;
2) so this is what an entry-level druid visionquest is like(?)
Wow. Would have figured you to tell the parakeet to get off your front lawn.
Quirky story. It a funny ole life.
2) so this is what an entry-level druid visionquest is like(?)
I'd say yes, but I think I would lose my druidness for sharing secrets. ^^;
I got another bird story.
My brother and sister in law run an exotic pet clinic in Seattle (if anyone has a sick bird let me know cuz they're the best there is) and she's kind of a bird lady so they have a house full of these things. They come and go, and thank god the cockatoo with levels in assassin is gone because it was going to be him or one of my fingers gone one day. All kinds of animals there, Dr Doolittle just like Heathansson said. Dogs, tortoises, all manner of birds, iguana's (huge killer iguanas), fish, turtles....
Anyway, they have a couple of African Grey parrots that talk a mean streak and they're kind of the bosses in the basement. It's interesting enough that they imitate my brother and sister in law so well that you think they're around when they're not, but what's really funny is they command the dogs. "Go away", "sit", "bad dog" "go home" and all that.
And the dogs obey.
Wow two good bird stories!
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I got another bird story.
My brother and sister in law run an exotic pet clinic in Seattle (if anyone has a sick bird let me know cuz they're the best there is) and she's kind of a bird lady so they have a house full of these things. They come and go, and thank god the cockatoo with levels in assassin is gone because it was going to be him or one of my fingers gone one day. All kinds of animals there, Dr Doolittle just like Heathansson said. Dogs, tortoises, all manner of birds, iguana's (huge killer iguanas), fish, turtles....
Anyway, they have a couple of African Grey parrots that talk a mean streak and they're kind of the bosses in the basement. It's interesting enough that they imitate my brother and sister in law so well that you think they're around when they're not, but what's really funny is they command the dogs. "Go away", "sit", "bad dog" "go home" and all that.
And the dogs obey.
parrots are smarter than some people. I saw some 25 iguanas in a tree in Costa Rica once, like some Flinstone's Christmas Special, but I didn't know they had killer ones.
That's an awesome story.
I don't have a good one of my own, but I heard a great story about the symbolism of birds in a lot of paintings. In the Met, there's this family portrait of Peter Paul Rubens, his lovely (much younger) wife and his son (who is on a leash). You'll notice in the upper right hand corner that there's a parrot eating some flowers. If you've ever owned a parrot, you know that some of them can be real nasty cusses. In Rubens' day, the parrot was a common symbol for a dirty old man; ill-tempered, voracious and nasty. Different flowers meant different things, but the interpretation I heard of the painting was that in this case, they were a symbol for a gorgeous young woman with no real substance. The gesture in his hand is meant to be a religious symbol or a blessing.
Basically, in Reuben's family portrait, he's explaining his own marriage to his trophy wife. In the meat of the composition, he's showing you the family in their Sunday best, saying,"Don't we look nice, here's the family, blah blah blah." But in the corner, he's like, "I'm going to use this lovely little woman up as hard as I can; the only thing I care about is the kid." And the kid is like,"This leash demeans us all." So, if you take that interpretation: Rubens was a jerk. But it was kind of typical for his time, so we can't really hold it against him.
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I’ve got a bird story, though it’s not as fun as Heath’s.
Over the recent holiday I took my 18 month old son to this sort of rainforest animal park thing. I asked the lady at the reception if she thought my kid would get anything much out of it (or be scared or whatever) and she said “Well, there’s this red-tailed cockatoo called Zorro who just loves people and is really inquisitive and friendly – kids love him.”
So I pay the $22 and we go in – and the first thing that happens is that there’s this loud “squawk”, and Zorro flaps over and lands in this tree next to us. He’s this really big, loud bird, and of course my son is terrified and straight away starts pointing back out. But I’ve just paid my $22, and figure there’s other things he’ll like in here, so we ditch the bird and keep going.
Well, my son likes the koalas, and the possum, and the 6 metre long crocodile (“Snap snap dadda!”), and the snakes, the little birds and stuff, but we keep catching sight or sound of Zorro and he just clings to me and hides.
After a while this presentation started, with one of the lady rangers giving a bit of a show and tell about some of the mammals they have in the place. We sit down, and soon enough Zorro lands on a nearby seat, and ALL the little kids there are scared of him. The animals were quite interesting, and the lady ranger very hot, so I was all for staying, but then Zorro hops onto the back of our seat and starts sidling towards us, my son starts crying, and I decided it was time to leave.
parrots are smarter than some people. I saw some 25 iguanas in a tree in Costa Rica once, like some Flinstone's Christmas Special, but I didn't know they had killer ones.
They only attack me.
That Rubens interpretation is awesome, James.
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That's an awesome story.
I don't have a good one of my own, but I heard a great story about the symbolism of birds in a lot of paintings. In the Met, there's this family portrait of Peter Paul Rubens, his lovely (much younger) wife and his son (who is on a leash). You'll notice in the upper right hand corner that there's a parrot eating some flowers. If you've ever owned a parrot, you know that some of them can be real nasty cusses. In Rubens' day, the parrot was a common symbol for a dirty old man; ill-tempered, voracious and nasty. Different flowers meant different things, but the interpretation I heard of the painting was that in this case, they were a symbol for a gorgeous young woman with no real substance. The gesture in his hand is meant to be a religious symbol or a blessing.
Basically, in Reuben's family portrait, he's explaining his own marriage to his trophy wife. In the meat of the composition, he's showing you the family in their Sunday best, saying,"Don't we look nice, here's the family, blah blah blah." But in the corner, he's like, "I'm going to use this lovely little woman up as hard as I can; the only thing I care about is the kid." And the kid is like,"This leash demeans us all." So, if you take that interpretation: Rubens was a jerk. But it was kind of typical for his time, so we can't really hold it against him.
-but what is she holding in her left hand and what does it mean?-
I’ve got a bird story, though it’s not as fun as Heath’s....
...We sit down, and soon enough Zorro lands on a nearby seat, and ALL the little kids there are scared of him. The animals were quite interesting, and the lady ranger very hot, so I was all for staying, but then Zorro hops onto the back of our seat and starts sidling towards us, my son starts crying, and I decided it was time to leave.
You shoulda b&$*$ slapped that bird.
Oh! I totally glossed over that: feather duster. She's got some fight in her, yet. Another level to the painting; maybe Rubens wasn't so bad.
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You shoulda b@*#@ slapped that bird.I’ve got a bird story, though it’s not as fun as Heath’s....
...We sit down, and soon enough Zorro lands on a nearby seat, and ALL the little kids there are scared of him. The animals were quite interesting, and the lady ranger very hot, so I was all for staying, but then Zorro hops onto the back of our seat and starts sidling towards us, my son starts crying, and I decided it was time to leave.
Are you kidding? Friendly he may have been, but he was like a foot and a half tall, with a beak like a grell.
Parrots freak me out. i stayed with a friend once who kept a big one in her BATHROOM. it roosted up on a big dowel that ran from a lower corner, over the toilet, and up on the shower curtain. every time a had to take care of business it would sidle over looking me straight in the eye with an evil glint and a foul beak i'm sure could snap off fingers like pretzels. NO WAY i was unzipping my fly. i ended up whizzing in the back yard.
You shame us all with your humanity, Heathy.
I don't want to look, he might Gruumsh-Odin me...
Don't forget Vecna!
Larry tried to adopt me. He felt sorry for me, because I'm not good looking like him.
I'll say. That picture in 'I am Sorry, Heathansson' gave me nightmares.
You shame us all with your humanity, Heathy.
Agreed. Oh, and since fowl are so fond of you, Heathy, would you like two Yellow-Headed Amazons?
Had a friend named Larry who was dating a vet student. She was in the exotics and ended taking all kinds of strange things home (like Larry.) She had a some normal critters, a three legged dog, a cat with no ears or tail, a dove whose head was upside down (creepy) and this huge red parrot. The parrot hated Larry and bit him whenever he walked by to which Larry would respond F'in Bird.
By the time we met the bird all it said was F'in Bird!