Every little bit that leaks out of the development team makes me do a double take. I think they could tell me the entire book set was going to be edible now and I’d still buy it. It’s like an “April Fool’s” post gone on too long.
In that vein, feel free to post completely specious news about 4E here:
Every little bit that leaks out of the development team makes me do a double take. I think they could tell me the entire book set was going to be edible now and I’d still buy it. It’s like an “April Fool’s” post gone on too long.
In that vein, feel free to post completely specious news about 4E here.
To attract younger gamers, the core books will be pop-ups.
To attract young female gamers, the pop-ups will all be pastel.
As a nod to older gamers, the first pop-up in the book will be a broomstick handle.
Taglines will be replaced with, “It's WoW, offline, but awesome-r.”
With the 4E rules deemphasizing reliance on magic items, fighter classes will receive additional xp for beating monsters with sticks. Rogue classes will be included in this bonus if they instead stab things with the pointy end of said stick.
The stick will be a martial weapon, but the weapons group will be called something completely new, like “belligerent objects.”
Vecna suffers a nervous breakdown from keeping so many secrets, causing his portfolio to transfer to Bob, the He-Lady of Stuff.
Core deities will include Bane, Dick Cheney, and the Silver Flame, because it has bows (“shooting items”).
The new head of the Pantheon will be Finder Wyvernspur.
Psionics will become the primary magic system, with “magic magics” releasing at a later date for a significantly greater cost.
I heard they're using Mortal Kombat as inspiration for the 4E monks.
Dice $4.50
Pencils & paper $4.00
4e PHB, DM guide and MM $100.00
Online subscribtion to Dragon and Dungeon;$49.95
Wotc DI $75.00
Case of Virtual D&D Miniatures $175.00
5 laptops for you and your friends($5,857.20
A fun night of D&D with you and your friends priceless
There are somethings....
Has anyone seen or heard from Gary Gygax?
I heard the Monk Class would be gone from the Core Rules; it will show up in 2010 in a book called "O Erratal Adventures”.
Has anyone seen or heard from Gary Gygax?
I guess he tries to get rid of the headache this 4e stuff must cause him :-)
Stefan
Has anyone seen or heard from Gary Gygax?I guess he tries to get rid of the headache this 4e stuff must cause him :-)Stefan
If only! We know he's really flayed alive in a closet at WotC somewhere with a hybrid milking machine hooked into every orifice.
Hmm last I saw of Gary was in August. Seemed okay then....granted people were trying to get him to sign their chest and babies.
Dice $4.50
Pencils & paper $4.00
4e PHB, DM guide and MM $100.00
Online subscribtion to Dragon and Dungeon;$49.95
Wotc DI $75.00
Case of Virtual D&D Miniatures $175.00
5 laptops for you and your friends($5,857.20
... per year...
Edible miniatures. You kill it, you eat it.
There aren't going to be any Orcs or Goblins!
(And I have a Source for this "fact" - there are no orc or goblin minis in the new Desert of Desolation minis set, which is supposed to be a minis "preview" of the new edition!)
All new books will be secretly equipped with highly accurate sensors. They will determine your current mood and mental health. This data is sent back to WotC to determine what else they can futz with in the next hardcover.
This just in: All 4E books outfitted with RFID tags.
Heard it from a guy who knows a guy who works with a guy who went to lunch with the guy who replied to a message board post about it: Mordenkainen, Eclavdra, and Iuz are all annihilated in the final Living Greyhawk by Chuck Norris.
Heard it from a guy who knows a guy who works with a guy who went to lunch with the guy who replied to a message board post about it: Mordenkainen, Eclavdra, and Iuz are all annihilated in the final Living Greyhawk by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is way to old to appeal to the target audience. I know for a fact* they're going with Jackie Chan instead
* I pulled said fact out of my rectum
The 27+ Outer and Inner Planes will be replaced by a simpler cosmology which is easier for the new generation of WoW players to understand: Good Place(tm) and Bad Place(tm). No-one goes there anyway.
The 3 core books will be replaced by a Core Book for each of the 17 Core Classes, followed by a Core Book for each of the 12 Types of DM. This will streamline the product line... into the shape of a dollar sign.
Each book will be magnetically locked for your convenience. You will have to log in to your Wizards website and set up a bank account, then pay an additional fee for each minute of use, in order to unlock your book. This is totally awesome 21st century get-with-the-program stuff that is being done for your convenience.
Has anyone seen or heard from Gary Gygax?
Very regularly, actually. If there's something you want to bug him about check out this thread over on EN World.
To simplify the process of new players getting up to speed with the rules, they have introduced Drow Elven Ranger Barbarian who is dual-wielding scimitars as its own class.
Edible miniatures. You kill it, you eat it.
I LOVE that Idea. I am so stealing it for a game. Now... how to make Miniatures out of Limburger... hmmm.
I LOVE that Idea. I am so stealing it for a game. Now... how to make Miniatures out of Limburger... hmmm.
Edible miniatures. You kill it, you eat it.
Actually, we had edible treasure in a game once--the DM tossed a sack of chocolate coins out onto the table and said that's what the party got as a reward (in a game where a gold piece was a >lot< of money). Somebody ate one, and the DM said, "Wow, that was an expensive party you guys had last night. It cost you a gold piece." We were more careful from then on...
They are ditching all the core classes and replacing them witha single class. "The X-Treeemist!!!!" (must always be written that way by EULA)
"The X-Treeemist!!!!" does everything "to The EXTREME!!" All weapons are automatically class weapons. All of their magic items are piercings and tattoos. People just automatically give "The X-Treeemist!!!!" all of their money and do anything they want at anytime. All Kings and Queens are required to bow down and do anything that "The X-Treeemist!!!!" asks at anytime.
All male miniatures are now being designed by those Tech Deck people and all female miniatures will be Bratz dolls
Gnomes ARE NOT being replaced by Tieflings
It is the half orcs that are being replaced by Tieflings.
Gnomes are being replaced by a race of sentient dire beavers.
Mmmm. Dire Beaver...
Contributor
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Actually, we had edible treasure in a game once--the DM tossed a sack of chocolate coins out onto the table and said that's what the party got as a reward (in a game where a gold piece was a >lot< of money). Somebody ate one, and the DM said, "Wow, that was an expensive party you guys had last night. It cost you a gold piece." We were more careful from then on...I LOVE that Idea. I am so stealing it for a game. Now... how to make Miniatures out of Limburger... hmmm.
Edible miniatures. You kill it, you eat it.
I give out bingo chips as coins. One of my players dropped and lost a 1000 gp equivelant coin one night. Once he realized I wasn't giving him a new one, he started being more careful.
Dwarves are being replaced as a character race by flumphs.
There will be a feat that allows you to become a dire flumph when you reach 4th level.
WotC has just anounced that they have teamed up with Microsoft to deliver a hand held device much like a digital picture frame. You will be able to download 'Dragon' and 'Dungeon' and digital copies of the books to special memory cards. You then put the cards into your "Digital Book" and you can take it with you and flip the 'pages' normally.
No wait they just realized that is a good idea and have cancelled it.
Has anyone seen or heard from Gary Gygax?
Who?
So does that mean we will soon see Takhisis from Dragonlance as an Aspect of Queen Hillary?Core deities will include Bane, Dick Cheney,I'm sure Bane is just one of the lesser Aspects of Dick Cheney.
Hilary is actually a five headed evil dragon godess? Ohh my!! Oh mighty queen of dragon kind I offer the souls of neocon upon your altar!!!! Give me unlimited dragon powers!!!!1
Gnomes ARE NOT being replaced by Tieflings
It is the half orcs that are being replaced by Tieflings.
Gnomes are being replaced by a race of sentient dire beavers.
Yeah! I heard gnomes were being replaced by the race of carebears. psychographics say young children identify more with carebears than gnomes.
I've heard to distance themselves from the other editions:
*Monsters are now called Grognards
*Spells are now printed only on cards you must buy and tear up to 'cast'
*Undead is now a player race
*Rangers are now called Hunters
*Dwarves now have the racial weapon musket
*And the goal of adventurers is to find 'prophets'
Are you sure? I thought for sure I heard it was gummi bears (bouncing here, and there, and everywhere).
No, no those are the extra planar elemental gnomes and the carebears are the good aligned extradimensional gnomes. And the dire beavers are the 'normal' wild only gnomes. See so simple why didn't I think of it?
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No, no those are the extra planar elemental gnomes and the carebears are the good aligned extradimensional gnomes. And the dire beavers are the 'normal' wild only gnomes. See so simple why didn't I think of it?
Are you sure? I thought for sure I heard it was gummi bears (bouncing here, and there, and everywhere).
Sweet! I can't wait to play one. I think I'll make him a ninja...
*Spells are now printed only on cards you must buy and tear up to 'cast'
This is a terrifying concept simply because I can see a light bulb over some exec: "Whoa, let's totally do that. Planned obsolescence and money sink in one!"
- All high level dungeons will now take a minimum of 30 people to clear. -
Sweet! I can't wait to play one. I think I'll make him a ninja...No, no those are the extra planar elemental gnomes and the carebears are the good aligned extradimensional gnomes. And the dire beavers are the 'normal' wild only gnomes. See so simple why didn't I think of it?
Are you sure? I thought for sure I heard it was gummi bears (bouncing here, and there, and everywhere).
Cool, extra elemental gummi bear ninjas! Boy the kids are gonna love 4 edition.
I heard if you play an extradimensional care bear paladin you can summon a celestial extradimensional my little pony mount.
> … (bouncing here, and there, and everywhere).
I thought that was Tiggers.
But the not-so-wonderful thing about Tiggers, is that there’s only one. Which means ultra-rare miniatures, or using gummi bears.
Speaking of Unique-ultra-rare-pay-out-your-nose miniatures. I heard they are planing to release a 4E Tarrasque miniature.
Sweet! I can't wait to play one. I think I'll make him a ninja...No, no those are the extra planar elemental gnomes and the carebears are the good aligned extradimensional gnomes. And the dire beavers are the 'normal' wild only gnomes. See so simple why didn't I think of it?
Are you sure? I thought for sure I heard it was gummi bears (bouncing here, and there, and everywhere).Cool, extra elemental gummi bear ninjas! Boy the kids are gonna love 4 edition.
I heard if you play an extradimensional care bear paladin you can summon a celestial extradimensional my little pony mount.
You know which is the best race combo to put with ninjas in 4E?
Cause they are masters of Disguise.
Then towards the end of 4e, they'll release a Buzz Lightyear miniature/class, and everyone will talk about how "broken" it is.
Well I heard it might not be broken but it will use made up rules that previously never existed. And of course then you need look no farther then that to see a new edition is in order.
I have heard that in 4E there is still intiative but no longer rounds. And now low intiative is good instead of high so dex and feats give negative modifiers (if good) and positive modifiers (if bad). Then you go ever 'personal round' based off you intiative score. They did this to make combat faster and easier.
10+Intiative modifier=Intiative
Monster Troll Dog
Rolls a 13 so (10-1= 9)
Billy the Kid (weregoat archer)
Rolls a 10 so (10-2= 8)
Each intiative marker is 1/2 a second
So this means that Billy acts on second 4, then the Troll Dog acts in sec 4 as well (but after Billy's action, do to the 4.5 sec), and again in sec 8 of the fight, second 12 and so on.
Loads more T&A.
some wotc source was quoted as saying "Why have just a chainmail bikini when you can have studded leather ass-less chaps to go with it?"
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So does that mean we will soon see Takhisis from Dragonlance as an Aspect of Queen Hillary?Core deities will include Bane, Dick Cheney,I'm sure Bane is just one of the lesser Aspects of Dick Cheney.
Hmmm quite possibly, but i always thought Loviatar of the Finnish Pantheon was Hillary's Aspect... They are both LE so Takhisis may very well be her Aspect as well.
I'm guessing it depends on her number of lobbyists... er, 'petitioners' at the time.
All game mechanics to be based on expanded THAC0 rule set.
4e. The Whole thing reeks of Satanism
