In terms of movies and possibly comics and other mediums, who do you think is the Whiniest Hero? I personally have never run across a bigger whiner than the karate kid, though the skywalker boys are also pretty darn whiny. However, there could be someone I have overlooked. Thoughts?
In the first few books of Chronicles of Thomas Convenent the Unbeliever, Thomas Covenent stepped from the real world into one of epic fantasy winged on incessantly about how the fantasy world around him wasn't real.
Anti-hero is one thing, but this guy deserved a red rubber ball gag and a date with the geek. Anything to shut him up.
Loved the books in spite of this, btw.
They should've given the ring to Sam and told him no dessert until he destroyed it. The war would've been over in a fortnight.
Where do you get this stuff?!
Bella Sara Charter Superscriber
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Harry Potter probably would have gotten the job done with less than a quarter of the whining.
We're on the same page. Harry Potter and the Passive Protagonist should have been the last book in the series. How many times in the entire sixty four thousand page epic does Harry actually do something without (i) his friends doing the hard work for him or (ii) some stupid magical plot device. I can think of one or two, and each of them occur in the fourth book.
Frodo.
Useless, incompetent, pitiful protagonist. They should've given the ring to Sam and told him no dessert until he destroyed it. The war would've been over in a fortnight.
...That's a good one. He's certainly up there in my Book of Whine.
As your uncontrolled evil alias, I think you would know better than I...
Where do you get this stuff?!
And here I thought I was the only one.
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Drizz't Do'Urden is a big whiny bi%^h. "Oh, I am so conflicted and everyone hates me, let me write in my Diary of Whine about how I strive for acceptance and still nobody likes me! Maybe I'll go eat worms. I love that human bimbo but I can never tell her because happiness isn't what I'm about! I am Emo, hear me cry. Oh, now she loves me too and I am so conflicted about Wulfgar, is he mad? Does he like me? Boo-dee-frickin' hoo...."
Grow a pair, Fey bioottchh, what they don't tell you in the books is that Catti-brie is some type of Dom-bit@h and makes little whiny boy lick her boots clean after wading through the orcish entrails, before locking him in his doghouse with a ballgag in place to shut his insufferable whining up.
Talk about a whiney hero....
FH
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Definitely Thomas Covenant, the Unbeliever is, in my view, a malcontent and whiner of the highest order with others occasionally testing the shallow and shady waters in his wake.
While Frodo may have been an idiotic stumble bum with an inability to detect even the most obvious trap, even he was not a narcissistic wretch like Covenant.
It is as if you took a an objectivist example from Atlas Shrugged, or some other Randian belch, and turned his asshat factor up to 11.
Heck, I dislike Covenant so much that if not for the good characters and people, such as Foamfollower and Bannor, then I would have rooted for the villain.
Even Rand, from the Wheel of Time, is not such a deluded, self-doubting, dipweed as Covenant, thus far he's not raped anyone just to see if he'd still be "heroic" or important after it.
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Robert N. Emerson
Grand Master Delver CuDraoi at Delver's Square
Magister of Glen Ravin
The Emerson Papers
Ex Ignorantia Ad Sapientiam; E Luce Ad Tenebras
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Contributor
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Shinji from Neon Genesis Evangelion. I know its Anime and may not count but I hated that whiny little bastard so much I wanted to bash his brains in.
Ugh, yeah, Shinji drives me nuts. On the other hand, he does have a lot of crap foisted onto him by his uncaring father.
Frodo, the Skywalker boys, and Peter Parker all more or less volunteered for their jobs, so their whining is all the more annoying for it. Thomas Covenant, Harry Potter, and Shinji all more or less had their destinies dropped on them, so I tend to forgive them more for the whining.
Dilan Hunt, from the starship Andromeda.
Definitely Thomas Covenant, the Unbeliever is, in my view, a malcontent and whiner of the highest order with others occasionally testing the shallow and shady waters in his wake.
While Frodo may have been an idiotic stumble bum with an inability to detect even the most obvious trap, even he was not a narcissistic wretch like Covenant.
It is as if you took a an objectivist example from Atlas Shrugged, or some other Randian belch, and turned his asshat factor up to 11.
Heck, I dislike Covenant so much that if not for the good characters and people, such as Foamfollower and Bannor, then I would have rooted for the villain.
Even Rand, from the Wheel of Time, is not such a deluded, self-doubting, dipweed as Covenant, thus far he's not raped anyone just to see if he'd still be "heroic" or important after it.
Man, we should go by his house, see if he's there, and beat the s!*& out of that guy. Covenent sucks the blue outta the sky.
Luke and Anakin Skywalker. Hands down.
I brought this up because I was just watching a little star wars and thinking what a whiny little b#*@% anigan was being, but then I thought- there is someone else from a movie who whined even more, and that was what brought the Karate Kid back to mind. Seriously he's the worst (yes I think worse than Frodo or Luke or even Anigan). Just watch one of the movies again in case you forgot.
Shinji from Neon Genesis Evangelion. I know its Anime and may not count but I hated that whiny little bastard so much I wanted to bash his brains in.Ugh, yeah, Shinji drives me nuts. On the other hand, he does have a lot of crap foisted onto him by his uncaring father.
Frodo, the Skywalker boys, and Peter Parker all more or less volunteered for their jobs, so their whining is all the more annoying for it. Thomas Covenant, Harry Potter, and Shinji all more or less had their destinies dropped on them, so I tend to forgive them more for the whining.
Well, in all fairness to Pete, he's got a much better sense of humor than Luke or Annakin.
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Drizz't Do'Urden is a big whiny bi%^h.
FH
True. However, all of Salvatore's heroes are big-time whiners. If it's not Drizz't doing his quasi-philosophical moaning, it's Wulfgar being all conflicted about being both a dad and a fighter or whoever the protagoninst of that gawdawful Cleric's quintet was moaning about being a cleric without faith. Hell, even Entreri is turning into a complaining twit.
Having said that, Thomas Covenant has them all beat by a solid margin. He is the chump champ.
True. However, all of Salvatore's heroes are big-time whiners. If it's not Drizz't doing his quasi-pholosophical moaning, it's Wulfgar being all conflicted about being both a dad and a fighter or whoever the protagoninst of that gawdawful Cleric's quintet was moaning about being a cleric without faith. Hell, even Entreri is turning into a complaining twit.
All except for Catti-brie, who:
Does anyone else feel that Anakin is actually so whiny you never thought of him as a hero in the first place? I mean, the kid in the first movie was kinda cute, in the podracer and all, but I don't count that. Plus he gets Mace Windu killed. So he's more of a protagonist.
Who is the whiniest Hero? Me. ~thinks for a minute~ Oh... You meant fictional heroes. ~gets a sheepish look on my face and then slowly backs away~ Nothing to see here. Just ignore what I said.
Drizz't Do'Urden is a big whiny bi%^h. "Oh, I am so conflicted and everyone hates me, let me write in my Diary of Whine about how I strive for acceptance and still nobody likes me! Maybe I'll go eat worms. I love that human bimbo but I can never tell her because happiness isn't what I'm about! I am Emo, hear me cry. Oh, now she loves me too and I am so conflicted about Wulfgar, is he mad? Does he like me? Boo-dee-frickin' hoo...."
Grow a pair, Fey bioottchh, what they don't tell you in the books is that Catti-brie is some type of Dom-bit@h and makes little whiny boy lick her boots clean after wading through the orcish entrails, before locking him in his doghouse with a ballgag in place to shut his insufferable whining up.
Talk about a whiney hero....FH
No freakin' joke. I'm waiting for the next book where Drizz't cuts him self with Twinkle and Icingdeath. I really wish Salvator would cut those first chapters out of each section of the books where he whines about how no one understands me! oh I shall find no love but I have a few women that want me! Suck it up bi$%h your not the only angesty hero.
Drizz't and Thomas Covenent met at an al fresco bagel place in Topeka back in '96. Of the brunch Drizz't would only say, "That guy has some serious issues. You can't help but feel like the saner, happier, less annoying guy when you're sitting next to him. He just drones on and on about how none of this is real and wonders aloud at why it's all happening to him. Then he raped the waitress and told her that was her tip. Must be nice to think the world is your wet dream. Jesus, I need to take a shower and wash this day off of me."
Drizzt is whinny but I love the books and he kicks some major butt in battle. Harry ehh he is angsty but as has been said before he had that whole sudden fame and responsibility dropped on him as an eleven year old. I will forgive a little. Anakin Skywalker isn’t really a hero but a reverse role model (you know “power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely) and Luke really isn’t so bad, I’d have issues too.
Sooo for me it’s Frodo. What was his purpose? I don’t get it! He didn’t even finish the job and then was so scarred afterward that he had to run away from reality. I just don’t even see what should qualify him as a hero at all.
Zola
I finally read the last Harry Potter book. Apparently the moral of the series is: Being a teenager sucks. Even if you have magical powers. Well, better kids should learn that in a book, than learn it on the streets like I did.
This one may be a bit obscure, but the one that bothered me the most was Titus Groan from the Gormenghast novels. I really loved almost all the characters in those books except the main character. By the end of the second book I was praying for Steerpike to complete his dastardly plans and murder the whiny passive putz.
But Harry Potter's angst was also pretty hard to bear.
Shinji from Neon Genesis Evangelion. I know its Anime and may not count but I hated that whiny little bastard so much I wanted to bash his brains in.Ugh, yeah, Shinji drives me nuts. On the other hand, he does have a lot of crap foisted onto him by his uncaring father.
Ye gods.
I almost forgot about him. He definitely has the Whiny Anime Hero schtick goin' on.
I finally read the last Harry Potter book. Apparently the moral of the series is: Being a teenager sucks. Even if you have magical powers. Well, better kids should learn that in a book, than learn it on the streets like I did.
When you were a teen you had magical powers?!
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I finally read the last Harry Potter book. Apparently the moral of the series is: Being a teenager sucks.
Wow Maybe you should read that book agian if that is the "moral" you got from it.
Now onto something completely different does anyone have a character that isnt whiney?? Outside of john Mcain in the first movie that is.
Yeah. Complete misread. The Harry Potter books' underlying message is clearly that I should initiate a kill spree in the gulf states. Duh.
I finally read the last Harry Potter book. Apparently the moral of the series is: Being a teenager sucks. Even if you have magical powers. Well, better kids should learn that in a book, than learn it on the streets like I did.When you were a teen you had magical powers?!
I can't speak for Hill Giant, but being one of the tallest kids in my high school class, with luxuriant, soft facial hair and male pattern baldness were ALMOST like magical powers when I went for a beer run for my friends with normal genes. Right? That counts.
Luke and Anakin Skywalker. Hands down.
Thank you!
The Father's a whiny b**chman whos attempts at seduction are so bad that I seriously thought Padme was brain damaged.Luke is a wall to wall victim- his whinging in Bespin was just embarassing, it's a wonder Darth thought he was worth the effort.
And he couldn't even kill the Emperor.
Lucas can write plot, characterization, on the other hand...
In the first few books of Chronicles of Thomas Convenent the Unbeliever, Thomas Covenent stepped from the real world into one of epic fantasy winged on incessantly about how the fantasy world around him wasn't real.
Anti-hero is one thing, but this guy deserved a red rubber ball gag and a date with the geek. Anything to shut him up.
Loved the books in spite of this, btw.
/agree to both the comment and loving the books
I can't believe all the Frodo bashing going on. When I read the book(s) (and saw the movie(s)), he didn't seem that bad.
Anakin on the other hand. Man, that is one guy I just wanted to punch in the head. Much more than even Jar-Jar.
heh
you know the first thing "MAnakin" Skywalker did when he got in his Vader underoos... well after that gawdawfull stupid NOOOO crud. He went and whined about padmes death and him being alone in his blog.
emo dork
probably listened to some galaxy far far away version of Morrissey too.
Maybe Sy Snootles did a solo emo album w/o the rebo band
a precursor to the nastiness of gwen stefani and fergie.
heh heh
I'd just like to point out that "ballgags" were mentioned twice in the first 15 posts of this thread, one of them even specifying colour. That's more than I've ever seen them mentioned on the whole messageboard (I have an Excel spreadsheet I update frequently with ballgag references).
I am a little concerned.
Then, Holden Caulfield showed up and got Driz'zt to score him a 12 pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon and a carton of Pall Mall.
I love you Heathy.
Holden Caulfield gets my vote, followed by Drizzt.
Director of Narrative
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Then, Holden Caulfield showed up and got Driz'zt to score him a 12 pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon and a carton of Pall Mall.I love you Heathy.
Holden Caulfield gets my vote, followed by Drizzt.
If going by protagonist rather than hero, then I'd say just about any main character in one of Sartre's stories. I actually wrote a paper about how much of an existentialist whiner that bastard was. Aced it. There was just too much supporting research.
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For any and all, I'd have to say I'm split between Thomas Covenant and Shinji. One's a total pain, the other's utterly spineless.
It doesn't help that it was pretty much admitted that the man responisble for NGE was using it for personal psychotherapy. Nothing like having someone else's neuroses vomited over your screen...
For whiny heroes, I have to say that one little-known one who really ticked me off was Greensleeves, from a couple of the Magic: the Gathering novels.
Video games, Squall needs a good kick in the teeth, more than any other.
There's a long, long list of characters, hero or villain or otherwise, that I want to beat some sense into.