13 Word Game

[Heathansson]

mark,....engage." "That doesn't make any sense, sir. Neither what you said, or

[Aberzombie]

what I'm thinking you secretly meant. Could you run through it once more?"

[Patrick Curtin]

"I think we have dropped through some sort of proton field." Geordie said

[Aberzombie]

proton fields had become more of a problem in space travel, as they

[flash_cxxi]

pop up next to space lanes. All types of space flowers grow there

[Patrick Curtin]

Just as he spoke, the Imperial Star Destroyer opened fire on the Enterprise.

[Aberzombie]

"Holy shit!" bellowed Riker, "That was completely uncalled for. We have to return

[Pax Veritas]

"to the correct Hollywood set. There aren't any Star Destroyers in Star Trek."

[Aberzombie]

There were several gasps of horror, as the people around realized the truth

[flash_cxxi]

"Fire at Will!," shouted Picard. So everyone shot

[Aberzombie]

at that little punk Will Wheaton, and did so with glee. Commander Data

[flash_cxxi]

said "Wrong Will" and proptly shot Riker in his Underworld. Selene's skintight leather

[Aberzombie]

outfit caused an uproar on the bridge. Worf

[Heathansson]

said, "Captain, this wormhole has taken us into the thirteen word game. Sensors

[flash_cxxi]

on maximum and blow that Piece 'o Pie out of the sky, post

[Aberzombie]

haste!" The resulting explosion caused massive ripples in time, resulting in never before

[Heathansson]

heard of prices at WalMart. Toilet paper was 15 quatloos for a gishplooble.

[Aberzombie]

A ferjuat of Potatoe Chips could be purchased seven hunvads. There were also

[Patrick Curtin]

shrieks as Dr. Who, the cast of Stargate: Atlantis, Firefly, and various other

[Aberzombie]

spectacles of science fiction television all decided that they would finally rise up

[Patrick Curtin]

and merge their television shows together into a massive meta-series known as

[Heathansson]

American Eidolon. Simon Trismagestis would scold them brutally for their occult knowledge, or

[Aberzombie]

sometimes taunt them with riddles expressing strange feelings of trepidation, anxiety, and madness.

[Patrick Curtin]

Paula Abdul Alhazred would just mutter inarticulate fragments of arcane lore that everyone

[Aberzombie]

took to mean she was in mental contact with terrible beings such as

[Patrick Curtin]

MC Nylarhotep and DJ Jazzy Yog-Sothoth. These were but a couple of the

[Aberzombie]

entities known as the Great Old Hasbeens, horrific beings once known for their

[Patrick Curtin]

radio-friendly rap invocations to the Greater Evils known as Suburban Kids of

[Aberzombie]

Suburbia. The Great Old Hasbeens were also known for the wonderful soirees they

[Heathansson]

held each Halloween, their Big Balls were held into the wee hours of

[Devin Swift]

the night, when they (along with everyone there) were smashed into a million

[Aberzombie]

pieces, before re-assembling themselves and continuing along with their Big Ball until dawn.

[Patrick Curtin]

The night would end with a session by Nylarhotep's daemonic piper, who would

[Crimson Jester]

go after the cursed stalker Jack and his girlfriend the witch Jill and

[Patrick Curtin]

attempt to break the two up, because he was a big tentacle blocker

[Aberzombie]

and hated couples with a passion. Meanwhile, as the stars aligned in the

[Tensor]

suburbs of Detroit, Roy Baubel started the engine of his trans am. He

[Twin Agate Dragons]

wondered how long it would be until the stars aligned and brought Cthulhu

[Tensor]

to see him. Then he read the line above, and realized it was

[Twin Agate Dragons]

high time to perform the invocation that would bring Cthulhu

[Irv]

out of the bathroom bellowing, "That Last Post was Ten Words, NOT thirteen!"