The One Sentence Game!!


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Scarab Sages

Megaromerozoid shuddered at the sudden and inexplicable occurence of a hiccup in the space-thread continuum.

Liberty's Edge

Suddenly thousands of kobolds appeared out of the aether.


Something wonderful was about to happen.


The kobolds scattered crying "CHEESE" inexplicably.


Azathoth removed the offending 'on the set of 4E' red dragon by swallowing it into utter annihilation, whilst the kobolds cowered and squealed in panic as Nyarlathotep hunted them down and Atlach-Nacha netted them to suck their juices; the distraction dealt with by the mythos, Nyarlathotep settled down to watch the Megaromerozoid drama unfold whilst Azathoth and and Atlach-Nacha headed back home.

Scarab Sages

Suddenly WotCzillia stomps in and roars, these threads are mine and I got a steaming pile of poop for anybody who disagrees.


"Hey! What just moved under the bed?"

Scarab Sages

It was the deep forest Gnomes, on their nightly search for underpants.

Dark Archive

Alas, all they found were the rotted remains of kobolds, starved from there search for cheese.

Scarab Sages

It was a battle for the ages: Megaromerozoid vs. WotCzilla (wohts-tsilla?) and one that was only available on Pay Per View for the exhorbitant price of $499.99.

Scarab Sages

Jal Dorak wrote:
It was a battle for the ages: Megaromerozoid vs. WotCzilla (wohts-tsilla?) and one that was only available on Pay Per View for the exhorbitant price of $499.99.

WotC-zilla

Scarab Sages

In the very first round of the battle royale (with cheese), Megaromerozoid unleashed a horde of flesh-hungry zombie drones against his opponent.


But WotCziilla was easily able to counter that by banning them all from his Infinite Layers of Hell because they tried to form a zombie-workers union.

Liberty's Edge

The zombies all went on strike, but to no avail, because they got scabs to replace them all.


Meanwhile, the zombies relocated to Australia, where they started a farm, that ran on the ideals of equal pay for all.

Scarab Sages

Equal pay, in this case, meant nice fresh brains for the zombie workers to feed upon.


But then an evil dictator took over, and no fresh brains were distributed.

Scarab Sages

The zombies had no choice but to revolt against the living, inadvertantly providing Megaromerozoid with the plot for his next film.

Scarab Sages

Until Zombie Freiderich Engels moved into town, six-guns on his hips, and half a brain fried on Dr. Pepper and reruns of Yojimbo.


But due to lack of funds, he was fired, which caused all the rage in Zombiewood.


He strapped on his six shooter, and went out looking for payback.


WotCZilla exploded from a combination of the stress/insanity at these events (greatly increased according to the best traditions of quantum by the mere presence of so many aspects of Nyarlathotep spectating) and an attack by an outraged Olman bat-god that felt WotCZilla had been trying to muscle in on his volcano shrine on The Isle of Dread.

Scarab Sages

The villagers feasted on the remains and there was much rejoycing.


But then a bullette broke out of the zoo, destroying the fair, and causing your average beginning to an adventure, involving four PC's and a whole lot of luck.

Scarab Sages

Four humanoids walk into a tavern; an elf, a dwarf, a gnome, and a halfling.

Paizo Employee Senior Software Developer

And the pirate said,

"Ye have forgotten the pirate, yes, and now there are all the villagers and gnomes and humanoids, and what will ye do with them all -- ye cannot spare them, ye cannot kill them, they are all already dead, even while they live -- there they go, oblivious to what they face (and yarr, I have a vocabulary, I stole it from... well, it be not important where it came from, 'tis just that I have one, and 'oblivious' is a fair cromulent word, and so there it be); but still, I do not wish to speak ill of the dead, but we all face the eternity of that-which-is-non-existence, and sometime we think it should be close, and sometime life should be dearer; and sometime life is just that which we make happen -- and sometime life is the daily struggle for the grog which sustains, and sometime life is just the pillaging and the wenches and the grog and the HEY HO WE ARE STILL ALIVE; and sometime it is just the I WILL NOT BEND TO THY WILL even when the will is just the body failing to act, and the body does not behave -- and, yarr, I warrant thee, thou must do the things that keep one alive, and when thy body fails, why, DENY IT, DENY IT, DENY IT, for WE STILL LIVE: we still fight, we still love; for we have mind, we have honor, we have those things which the animal lacks, and so we continue and continue and continue -- and the body may fight, but we prevail,"

and breathed his last.

Liberty's Edge

"Now that's how you talk like a pirate," commented a passing onlooker.

Scarab Sages

"Ninja's still kick pirate ass at dodgeball" the ninja at the bar boasted.


This was the infamous Six Monks Bar, of course, and in the background, six monks were having a classic barfight.


Unfortunately these were not the fighting monastic monks that usually fought in bars when inebrieated -- rather a collection of motley monkeys flinging feces at each other and splattering the patrons of the bar indiscriminately.

Scarab Sages

"And the man at the back said
Everyone attack and it turned into a ballroom blitz"


This was probably not the most tranquil of moments on this thread for the dread nosferatu lord, Erik Mona, yea, smiter even of cities, and tyrant of Greyhawk, to make his return, still looking for the waitress and/or to get the strange artifact identified, but return he did, with his full train of minions, henchmen, and underlings, to survey the action going on in the bar with something bordering on cynicism, as he elevated an ironic eyebrow to comment: "Seen one bar-fight, seen them all."

The Exchange

The blood covered the floor and glass from broken bottles covered anything the blood did not.

Scarab Sages

The barmaid threw down her mop and broom exclaiming loudly "I quit" and punched a monk as she stormed out of the bar.

Scarab Sages

The monk, having done nothing to earn a punch in the face from an angry serving wench, decided to dance on the bar, then start a fight.


The monks and other bar patrons did tremble as Monacticus, Destroyer of Worlds, Eater of Galaxies, Tyrant of the Great Wheel and his loyal herald the Silver Cosmo came into the common room searching for the next planetary snack to whet their munchies upon.


The bar maid returned, grabbed a beer, swigged it (in a very unladylike fashion), burped, and left again, leaving the crowd in the bar quiet.


(edited, currency)
Monacticus ordered a packet of pork scratchings from the barman, and some salted peanuts, paying for them with a Triganic Pu, before espying Erik Mona looking distinctly unamused, so Monacticus hurried back to his own parallel dimension with the Silver Cosmo (shouting 'keep the change' as he did so), leaving the nosferatu lord to get on with his business uninterrupted by other-dimensional counterparts.


And life went on.

Scarab Sages

In a jealous rage, the Norse god Thor smote the bar with a lightning bolt, burning it to the ground along with all the patrons inside.


Of course, he spared the beer.

Scarab Sages

Beer..beer..beer..BEEEEEEER..drink all the beer, sang the Valkyries as they swooped down to grab the kegs.


But they are met by a swarm of smurfs!

Scarab Sages

The Smurfs get stuck in the teeth of the valkyries' as they fly through Smurf swarm causing them to spin out of control and crash into the smoldering heap of the destroyed bar.

Scarab Sages

A lonely British prospector happened to be travelling through space and time at that moment, stopping to observe the happenings at the bar while musing: Sure glad that I'm out of the pub business!


He laughs to himself for only a few seconds, before Thor smites him for bad words against the holy temple.. I mean bar.

Scarab Sages

Spam spam spam spam...Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam... (Crescendo through next few lines...)Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!
Sang the Vikings as they roasted Spam over the coals of the burning bar.


Of course, Vikings are great singers, so they were recorded, and made thier hit single "Spam" on the forever treasured album "Mothership II: The Longboat"

The Exchange

But the spam turned stale and was green with fungus and as such was put out with old tuna casserole from last month.

Scarab Sages

The casserole was served at several middle schools in the area.

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