The Koga had to post this, it was just too funny.
*As always Shanna is having a one-sided argument
(The Koga doesn't consider us a couple but we sure argue like one.)*
Shanna: You never take anything seriously! Blahblahblah! You won't even kiss me you just "hangout" with me! I should call the police for satutory. *don't know how to spell it but you know what The Koga is talking about*
*Shanna has subcosnciely rolled intimidate check, it's succesful, but because Koga's wisdom has some kindof negative axis, it actually HELP him resist fear and only becomes shaken*
Shanna: You suck! I'm never talking to you again! I'm going to go out with Chris cause I know you hate him!
Koga: Who's Chris?
Shanna: REMEMBER?! THE GUY YOU THREATEND?!
Koga: You know how many people The Koga threatens a day?! You gotta' be more specific!
Shanna: Over me?! *Scoff* Nevermind! I hate you, and I aint talking to you anymore! And you don't even care.
*Koga just rolled a critical fumble in chutzpuh check*
Koga: Ashley, you aren't the first person to--
Shanna: ASHLEY?!
Koga: Err--The Koga means..
Shanna: WHO'S ASHLEY?! She wouldn't happen to be the girl Josh meationed to me WOULD SHE?!
Koga: No, cause we stopped talking like The Koga said. : P
Shanna: -_ - Goodbye. *Storms out the door*
Koga: Guess this means no D&D game tommorow..
Feel free to post when you feel your spirit rolled a criticle fumble, or for that matter critical hit. : D
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(this was WAY long ago) Imagine, if you will, looking down into your lap at the beautiful girl working hard to make you feel REALLY good and you, in your infinite idiocy, spew another girls name. Now imagine it is someone that this particular girl hates. That you have never slept with but were fantasizing about. And you never cheated on this girl. Try explaining that to the girl looking up at you with doe-eyes saying "Rhhuut dddid wwoooo sayy?!?!"
Damn near lost little Fakey that day.
FH (wiser, nah. I just pay more attention now!)
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I was driving in to school, 25 miles into Gainesville, Florida of Hwy. 26, 55 m.p.h. speed limit, one lane goes east, one lane goes west. It was 6 a.m. and it was pitch black. Real night, not that foggily lucid stuff under the lights of the city.
So I see up ahead a pickup truck makes a left hand turn across my lane and stops at a fence in front of his driveway. What I don't see until I am too close to hit the brakes is a long trailer bed wagon on the back of the pickup, hanging across my lane. Apparently this guy really didn't see the utility in side reflectors...
So of course, the other lane has a semi truck in it coming toward me. So I had three seconds that seemed like an eternity to plan my reaction.
The cosmic dice of my reflex save rolling, I had to either:
1) decide to collide with the trailer bed and possibly lose control of my car, thus perhaps colliding with the semi,
2) decide to collide with the pickup truck and thus return the favor to this dinkwad,
3) try to whip around the trailer on the left and possibly beat the semi.
So I tried to beat the semi. I beat the semi. The cosmic dice smiled on me that day.
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Long ago, when my wife was my girlfriend and we were in college...
We had been having a low-boil argument for two days or so, so both of us were feeling pretty raw-nerved. We had been part of a group of friends that met together to play volleyball at the sports center and although civility was maintained during the game, we were bickering about something idiotic afterwards as we walked across an unlit parking lot.
In the manner of these things, dumb things were said on both sides and we blew up into a public shouting match (1 of 1 public spectacle of that nature that I've ever been in...). The low-boil quickly shot into full volcanic thrashing boil. My sweetie then shouted something about 'Fine! I'll walk home! I don't want to be around you!' (or somethint to that effect) and started stalking off.
Gavin makes will save to avoid punching/kicking something (some innocent schmuck's car).
Gavin fails will save to avoid throwing something.
Gavin fails INT check and throws his keys. Hard. In an unlit parking lot. On a very dark night.
As the jangle of metal tinkles off into the darkness, I realized what I had just done... Quoth Gavin "awww, piss!"
Quoth my wife "Um..what was that?"
"My car keys. I, uh, I just thew them."
"Oh. I don't want to make you madder, but that probably wasn't a good idea."
"No. I would say you are right. It was pretty stupid... Could you go see if they have a flashlight inside while I crawl under parked cars?"
"Yeah." They didn't. It took twenty minutes or so crawling around in the dark to find them. By that time we were talking civily and laughing. So, those failed roles are not always tragic, sometimes they are for 'character development'.
Man rule #4:
never use any girls name as no man really cares what a girls name is anyway; just use petnames and explitives.
of course, this could be a redneck rule and consider that it was given by an efreeti, but their you go; all I can say is it works and will help keep your life simple.
hmm, maybe I watch to much Jeff Foxworthy and old Man Show and read to much Maxim.
Valegrim has a very high charisma; but his memory is like wet toilet paper. Kinda interesting that none of you made your perception rolls to see this situation building up inside your various girls; well except for Fakey's honest blunder. Fakey, did you salvage that situation other than protecting lil Fakey?
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Man rule #4:
never use any girls name as no man really cares what a girls name is anyway; just use petnames and explitives.of course, this could be a redneck rule and consider that it was given by an efreeti, but their you go; all I can say is it works and will help keep your life simple.
hmm, maybe I watch to much Jeff Foxworthy and old Man Show and read to much Maxim.
Valegrim has a very high charisma; but his memory is like wet toilet paper. Kinda interesting that none of you made your perception rolls to see this situation building up inside your various girls; well except for Fakey's honest blunder. Fakey, did you salvage that situation other than protecting lil Fakey?
Lil' Fakey is well, but the situation was unsalvagable. All women since are "honey", "baby", "sweetie", or "mistress of pain", depending on when they acquired the "Thrall of the Fake" template. Lil' Fakey doesn't do anymore thinking either.
Incidentally my wife (of 8 LOYAL years) is also one of the first 3 petnames at any particular time.....just in case and out of habit. I would never cheat on her but I could slip an old name in if too distracted and I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings.FH
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The Koga had to post this, it was just too funny.
*As always Shanna is having a one-sided argument
(The Koga doesn't consider us a couple but we sure argue like one.)*Shanna: You never take anything seriously! Blahblahblah! You won't even kiss me you just "hangout" with me! I should call the police for satutory. *don't know how to spell it but you know what The Koga is talking about*
*Shanna has subcosnciely rolled intimidate check, it's succesful, but because Koga's wisdom has some kindof negative axis, it actually HELP him resist fear and only becomes shaken*
Shanna: You suck! I'm never talking to you again! I'm going to go out with Chris cause I know you hate him!
Koga: Who's Chris?
Shanna: REMEMBER?! THE GUY YOU THREATEND?!
Koga: You know how many people The Koga threatens a day?! You gotta' be more specific!
Shanna: Over me?! *Scoff* Nevermind! I hate you, and I aint talking to you anymore! And you don't even care.
*Koga just rolled a critical fumble in chutzpuh check*
Koga: Ashley, you aren't the first person to--
Shanna: ASHLEY?!
Koga: Err--The Koga means..
Shanna: WHO'S ASHLEY?! She wouldn't happen to be the girl Josh meationed to me WOULD SHE?!Koga: No, cause we stopped talking like The Koga said. : P
Shanna: -_ - Goodbye. *Storms out the door*Koga: Guess this means no D&D game tommorow..
Feel free to post when you feel your spirit rolled a criticle fumble, or for that matter critical hit. : D
Tell me you don't talk about yourself as "The Koga" in the third person in real life. Please.
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(this was WAY long ago) Imagine, if you will, looking down into your lap at the beautiful girl working hard to make you feel REALLY good and you, in your infinite idiocy, spew another girls name. Now imagine it is someone that this particular girl hates. That you have never slept with but were fantasizing about. And you never cheated on this girl. Try explaining that to the girl looking up at you with doe-eyes saying "Rhhuut dddid wwoooo sayy?!?!"
Damn near lost little Fakey that day.FH (wiser, nah. I just pay more attention now!)
Maintain a manly, stoney silence in such situations - a stiff upper lip, if you will. It avoids any embarrassing mistakes of this sort, and they don't know if you are really enjoying it and so try a bit harder to please.
Or so the Aub says.
What follows is an evening of amazing restraint on my part.
I was on a date last summer with a girl I had known in high school. One of my sisters was in town and needed the car that night, so my date had to pick me up. We went to see Wedding Crashers at the theatre. It was a really good film, but every time something was really funny, she punched my knee. Not too hard, but she punched it. Every now and then she would talk during the movie.
Will saving throw to avoid getting visibly annoyed: successful
We make awkward small talk on the drive back on the high way. Talking about the movie, other silly junk 20 year olds talk about. She says,"Yeah, I haven't had too many crazy nights lately. Except for last night."
A short stretch of silence passes as I roll successive Sense Motive checks, then Will saves, to see that she wants me to ask what she means, but I'm wondering whether I want to know. In the back of my head, I sigh with reluctance.
"What did you do last night?"
"It was the first time I had crossed state lines for sex."
Hmm. Interesting.
She then proceeds to tell me, for the rest of the ride back to my place about how she went to Boston to spend time with this couple she was seeing.
I thought, "Couple that I'm seeing". Hmm. Maybe she means that her friends, this couple, had a friend that she was meeting up with.
Oh, no. She was seeing the married couple. For sex.
I then sat and listened as she recounted what happened with a fair amount of detail, then about how she's nervous about STDs because they didn't use protection because they were a married couple and all and then she found out they had someone else on the side, so now she may need to get tested for something. And I begged the powers that be with a sincerity that frightened me, to send the car careening into the barrier on the highway to end my shame. I just didn't want it to go on. Yet, I was enthralled. Stunned, if you will. Our protagonist could find no words.
She had cast hold person from the driver's seat and I had rolled a 1.
She actually said, "Wow, I'm totally dumping on you. Sorry."
We got to my place, I said thank you and goodnight as quickly as I could and went inside. To scrub the shame away under the forgiving jets of a cold shower.
I later told my friend/artistic mentor about the encounter and he said she was probably trying to be sexy or something. I think I made the wisest decision by choosing not to pick up on the hint.
I've got some other crazy stories, but I won't relate them just yet. I have to shower away the memories.
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What follows is an evening of amazing restraint on my part.
I was on a date last summer with a girl I had known in high school. One of my sisters was in town and needed the car that night, so my date had to pick me up. We went to see Wedding Crashers at the theatre. It was a really good film, but every time something was really funny, she punched my knee. Not too hard, but she punched it. Every now and then she would talk during the movie.
Will saving throw to avoid getting visibly annoyed: successful
We make awkward small talk on the drive back on the high way. Talking about the movie, other silly junk 20 year olds talk about. She says,"Yeah, I haven't had too many crazy nights lately. Except for last night."
A short stretch of silence passes as I roll successive Sense Motive checks, then Will saves, to see that she wants me to ask what she means, but I'm wondering whether I want to know. In the back of my head, I sigh with reluctance.
"What did you do last night?"
"It was the first time I had crossed state lines for sex."
Hmm. Interesting.
She then proceeds to tell me, for the rest of the ride back to my place about how she went to Boston to spend time with this couple she was seeing.
I thought, "Couple that I'm seeing". Hmm. Maybe she means that her friends, this couple, had a friend that she was meeting up with.
Oh, no. She was seeing the married couple. For sex.
I then sat and listened as she recounted what happened with a fair amount of detail, then about how she's nervous about STDs because they didn't use protection because they were a married couple and all and then she found out they had someone else on the side, so now she may need to get tested for something. And I begged the powers that be with a sincerity that frightened me, to send the car careening into the barrier on the highway to end my shame. I just didn't want it to go on. Yet, I was enthralled. Stunned, if you will. Our protagonist could find no words.
She had cast hold person from the...
Dude, she was SO totally into you!;)
FH
The Aub thinks it's weird.You comprehend the irony of that statment, right?
heh this is great :)
Dude, she was SO totally into you!;)
FH
Tha Aub says.... Actually, I think I'll stop that now.
Some people (not including me, funnily enough - I would have run a mile, and I'm not a fit man) would have been rather intrigued by that stuff. Was this a first date?
I wonder how well you knew her in high school; the whole conversation could have been made up to be a test; women are crazy like that, but if true, do you really want to be with a girl like that? It would be insanely complicated. Run dude Run far, Run fast.
I had known this girl as an acquaintance for a while. Probably went to grade school, middle school and high school with her. She struck me as the type that wouldn't even want to talk about sex. Boy did college change her. But it would be kind of a first date, since this was the first time we were really seeing each other out of school.
Aubry- Honestly, if she had kept it just as a threesome and not brought in the STD stuff I would have said different strokes for different folks and probably seen where this date would have lead me. You only live once, right? But the STD thing threw me just because it's not really something you tell somebody if you want to get them in bed, so maybe that's not what she was after. Saying,"Oh, yeah, I might have gotten something because I had unprotected sex recently" isn't the most seductive phrase in the world.
yep you surely dont want one of the gifts that wont go away like herpes or some stuff; yuck. Grats on your willpower save and your seduction save.
yep you surely dont want one of the gifts that wont go away like herpes or some stuff; yuck. Grats on your willpower save and your seduction save.
Yeah - that's usually luggage you can't get rid of. Yikes. Thank goodness I haven't had an experience like that. o_O
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I had known this girl as an acquaintance for a while. Probably went to grade school, middle school and high school with her. She struck me as the type that wouldn't even want to talk about sex. Boy did college change her. But it would be kind of a first date, since this was the first time we were really seeing each other out of school.
Aubry- Honestly, if she had kept it just as a threesome and not brought in the STD stuff I would have said different strokes for different folks and probably seen where this date would have lead me. You only live once, right? But the STD thing threw me just because it's not really something you tell somebody if you want to get them in bed, so maybe that's not what she was after. Saying,"Oh, yeah, I might have gotten something because I had unprotected sex recently" isn't the most seductive phrase in the world.
Actually, I suspect college didn't change her at all. She sounds very confused about sex, and a bit emotionally damaged. Her previous reticence about sex was probably a symptom of that, probably based on parental control. Outside of that control, her sexual curiosity but social ineptness would appear to have led her into a kinky, exploitative scene. She obviously has no idea how to relate to people easily - she was partly bragging (never very attractive), her approach was completely crass, I bet she found that couple on the internet rather than any social contact, and as a come-on (which, let's face it, that was) it was both very clumsy and very off-putting to anyone who is vaguely normal. Sounds like your Sense Motive was working well that night. And, if nothing else, you have a story to dine out on.
I met a girl a bit like that - talked a lot about sex but didn't like to be touched. That was very confusing. In the end I lost my temper (just shouting - I'm not the violent type)and we didn't see eachother after that. My Sense Motive has always been poor - fortunately, I met my girlfriend/now fiance shortly after, who is reassuringly sane, otherwise I might have gone back for a second kicking.
Okay, I don't want to be a thread hog or anything, but I have only one more 'critical fumble/hit in real life story' and that will be it. This is from my second year of college in NYC, around this time of year. I had been at a friend's place (this was before he was doing coke and I stopped hanging out with him) for what turned out to be a pretty dead party on a Friday night in Brooklyn. Everybody goes to bars here; it's pretty rare to find a lot of people in an apartment party.
So, around 1 AM on Saturday I decided the boredom was killing me and I hadn't had a lot to drink, anyways, so I headed outside to take the J back to Manhattan.
I'm walking out on I think Lohrimer street toward the J; block and half from my friend's place, I can see it from the doorway. And I make a spot check. Failure.
I see a man in a strange hat, billowing black night gown/robe around him, surrounded by five or six smaller figures, male and female, in similar garments. And they're all just standing there, facing my direction.
In the back of my head, I'm saying "WTF?! Midget pimp? Child merchant?" Now, I'm close enough that I can see him, and I'm sure he's seen me. And if I cross the street, he'll know it's because of him and for some reason (James' Wisdom score = 8) I can't allow that. So I keep walking, my head down, my best "don't talk to me, I'm scary" look on my face.
He stops me. And for some reason, because it's just him and me, and what I can now see are children on the street at 1 AM in Brooklyn, I don't ignore him. Will save to ignore - failure. In better light and on closer inspection, I can see that he is an Hasidic (sp?) Jew. Curly sideburns, beard, wire-rimmed glasses, nightgown and hat. His male children wear yamulkas, his female children have bonnets or something on. Why they are in the street at 1 AM is still a mystery to me at that point.
"Excuse me,"he says, "I was wondering if you could help me shut off my lights." I pause, taken aback. "What?," I ask. "You're not Jewish, eh, no chops," he motions to his sideburns,"I need someone to turn off my lights." Then, I remember. It's Shabbas, technically. And he can't do work, like turning out the lights. So, unless he wants the lights on until 12 AM Sunday, he needs a Goy like myself to turn them off for him.
Again, James' Wisdom - 8. "Okay," I say. He motions me to follow him into the building on my left and I follow him in. One of the major "rules" in my mind of living in NY is to not follow someone you met in the street not 3 minutes prior into an enclosed space with limited maneuverability and one exit whose whereabouts you know. So I'm following this guy up the stairs, he's going much faster than I am and looking back every once in a while. His children look at me with looks of what I would discribe as fear. We've all seen "Stranger Danger", so I'm pretty sure they're reacting correctly. I'm about halfway up to the apartment with its lights still on and it hits me.
This guy is going to murder me. I could see it in my mind's eye. He would get me inside, slam the door behind me, and throw steak knives to his kids. And I would be gone. I don't know if he's really an Hasidic Jew. It could be a disguise to throw me off from his intentions. He could just be completely crazy. I was torn between running the hell away and freezing where I stood. In the end, I steeled myself to follow him. I made a sense motive check, but it was a failure and I knew it was a failure.
He showed me into the apartment, pointed to each lightswitch, one in a room with two women, with their heads covered, that hid their faces on my approach. When I had gotten them all, he thanked me and offered me a drink. I said,"No thanks." And he lead me outside.
Waiting in the chilly October morning for the subway to come, I realized that he was taking a much bigger risk on me than I was on him. He was the one with kids, he was the one with a family. I was just a guy on the street that he took a chance on. I could have gotten into that apartment and pulled a gun. I could have taken everything they had. I could have ran off into his apartment to rob his neighbors. I could have refused to leave. I could have grabbed one of his kids and run. How could he have known? Just a random guy on the street, and even if I may have looked trustworthy, that's no guarantee. He had either taken a huge risk and been rewarded, or he really did have faith enough in God and humanity to believe the best in people despite what this city and the news would say. Or maybe both. I dunno, it's a silly thing to put on a Dungeons and Dragons magazine website, but I think about that night a lot and I wonder what it could have meant.
Director of Narrative
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As lame as it sounds my favorite critical hit moment was when I was helping the floor out in the restaurant I managed and was bussing tables while we were on a wait so we could get more people in. I saw a dinner knife on the floor as I was walking the patio dining room and picked it up as I noticed a crowd at the door and a recently vacated two-top that was set up in a booth. Not wanting to waste time walking twelve feet away from the booth that needed bussing, push the door open and place the knife in the busstub I chunked the knife towards the door hoping the knife would either pass through the 3/4" gap in the door or just land in or around the trashcan and call it "out of the way". Rolled a 20 and confirmed with a 20. The knife went through the gap and into the proper bucket in the busstub that the silver goes into. I was floored and wasted the time that I would have used placing it in the busstub standing there slack-jawed.
It was not really a critical fumble or a critical hit. My moment was driving down to watch Comet Hale Bopp just south of Casa Grande, AZ. I was driving down a paved road and failed my spot check to notice road went from paved to dirt AND turned. I was driving my Toyota pickup truck and the back got really really loose, so I turned into the skid and overcorrected and turned into the skid in the other direction. According to the guy who witnessed it my tail swerved "Over A Dozen" times. All, I remember is thinking "Should I take it into the ditch at the side or keep going?" I kept going and after failing a spot check, I apparently made a dozen back-to-back reflex saves and drove off to the observing site as if nothing happened.
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First and last time hunting Squirrel with dad. 12 years old. Old wooded area (big trees) on Granny's 30 acre farm. I see a squirrel about 80' up and 40' over from me. Take the shot with my 410 and critted. Squirrel falls about 40' and gets stuck near the top of an old holly tree. My first squirrel won't get away that easy (first of many failed checks). I hand daddio my firearm and proceed to climb the tree. Failed spot: about 10 feet up I am hanging from a branch by my feet and hands(picture an animal trussed to a pole with 2 pygmies carrying it. Branch was dead. Crack. Failed reflex save: fall 10 ft land flat on my back and have the wind knocked out of me (1d6 subdual). As I lay there on my back, gasping like a fish out of water, I notice something falling through the branches of the holly tree. Made Spot check- My squirrel, wow it is picking up speed. I was stunned from the fall so I couldn't do anything. Fail Luck check: 3-4 lb dead, bloody squirrel to the crotch from 35-40 ft up can make you see some really interesting stuff. Failed fort save: father starts rolling around on the ground laughing at my misery while trying to hold in his spleen from the explosive mirth he is experiencing. 10 minutes later I could stand, it took him another 3-4 minutes.
FH
FH thats hilarious! you had me laughing out loud.
First and last time hunting Squirrel with dad. 12 years old. Old wooded area (big trees) on Granny's 30 acre farm. I see a squirrel about 80' up and 40' over from me. Take the shot with my 410 and critted. Squirrel falls about 40' and gets stuck near the top of an old holly tree. My first squirrel won't get away that easy (first of many failed checks). I hand daddio my firearm and proceed to climb the tree. Failed spot: about 10 feet up I am hanging from a branch by my feet and hands(picture an animal trussed to a pole with 2 pygmies carrying it. Branch was dead. Crack. Failed reflex save: fall 10 ft land flat on my back and have the wind knocked out of me (1d6 subdual). As I lay there on my back, gasping like a fish out of water, I notice something falling through the branches of the holly tree. Made Spot check- My squirrel, wow it is picking up speed. I was stunned from the fall so I couldn't do anything. Fail Luck check: 3-4 lb dead, bloody squirrel to the crotch from 35-40 ft up can make you see some really interesting stuff. Failed fort save: father starts rolling around on the ground laughing at my misery while trying to hold in his spleen from the explosive mirth he is experiencing. 10 minutes later I could stand, it took him another 3-4 minutes.
FH
Dude, that is hilarious. At school, someone made a sculpture of a mailbox where a baby doll would fly out when you opened the hatch, so my friend opened it so that it would go flying into his roomate's crotch. Critical hit. Mission accomplished.
James, that reminds me of a Rifts game that I was playing in. I was sitting in my chair, shaking my head at the turn of events in the game. My character, Coalition EOD specialist, had gotten arrested, along with the Lone Star battlecat ("cat folk" for you non-Rifters out there). The battlecats, along with their genetically engineered brethren, dog boys, are mostly considered worthless and not worth the money it takes to feed them. Unfortunately, the battlecat had a big mouth on him.
Unfortunately, the battlecat decided to be a wise ass at the WRONG TIME, namely when our jailer decided to drop in for a visit, and basically told the jailer to fsck himself.
Mind you - SMALL jail cell, we didn't armor, weapons, or gear, but most importantly, HELMETS.
GM rolls a d20, called shot - head. Critical hit. Battlecat's head bursts like a ripe melon.
My character, in one of her quippier moments, said, "My name is Les, and I ain't in that mess" while pointing at the remains of the Battlecat. (Fortunately, I managed to get away with it - good Charm/Impress roll.) As soon as the GM's focus turned away from me, I breathed a sigh of relief that my character hadn't met the same fate. (Sorta - the character refused to reveal the location of her compatriots and was taken away to be "formally" executed.)
Me, the player, chucks my pencil bag at the player of the battlecat. Hit him square in the forehead. Mind you, this was a good ten feet, and I wasn't even really aiming.
Laughter ensues. Pencil bag christened "The Vorpal Pencil Bag of Doooooooom."
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My best critical hit/save in a professional sense was when I was working at the Grand Canyon. We were getting some new filing cabinets or some such in and they were being wheeled into place. One of the delivery guys was really not paying attention and rammed the cabinet into a storage shelf rattling the contents...a large number of Anasazi pottery. One of them, a nice Dogozhi vessel (similar to this but more jar-like) cantered over it's support ring and fell. I jumped across (not really over, that implies a gracefull vault) a desk and caught it before Mr. pottery circa 1100A.D. had a nasty run-in with Mr. cement floor. I would estemate the catch to be a DC20, and I landed pretty much on my face and got zero style points, but it was witnessed by a boss, so I got a +2 circumstance bonus (at least) to all Reaction, Diplomacy and Gather Info checks with her for the duration of my internship.
Another time I was able to help the local sheriff's department with a concern. The Sheriff brought in a bag of long bones and asked for confirmation as to whether they were human or not. He laid them out on the table and, with a 20 on my Knowledge (nature) check I was able to assure him that they were actually emu or ostrich. A local vet wasn't able to make that call and said that he thought they were human. I advise people not to go to that vet.
Now, conversely I've had fails two, mostly they involve a failed dex check and a ceramic or glass sherd, or bone fragment becomes two ceramic or glass sherds or bone fragments. Some days the materials are to friable and the hands are just too damn paw-like. :P