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Okay, Sebastian made light of my skills at threadnecromancy, so this is my flesh golemic masterpiece bar none. I, being the sort of creature that I am, can claim no responsibility for this mad act; if you want to blame someone,...Sebastian knew what he was doing by taunting me...
The whole "bring back WW" thing got me thinking along vulgar, mad lines, so here goes:
Once and for all this philosophical question of tantamount importance shall be decided!
Who's coolest:
Capt. Archer
Capt. Janeway
Capt. Sisko
Capt. Picard or
Captain James Tiberius Kirk?
Captain Kirk.....since you didn't include Captain Sulu in the voting. When he took command of the Excelsior, it was a great moment in Star Trek history.
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Yes...that was cool...Captain Sulu, all haughty in his chair without an iota of presumption, a beautiful moment to be cherished.
And it fills my throat with a vulgar bile, knowing the story behind the curtain involved there.
Alas, though, I do believe that as they say only Nixon could go to China, so too only Captain James T. Kirk could have beat the Gorn. It's a bittersweet thing being a Captain Kirk fan.
Bella Sara Charter Superscriber
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Damnit. Never taunt a lycanthrope with necromatic talent. I should have known better.
Let me kick it up a notch for ya. I don't really like star trek. Too fussy. And boring. With the same sets, over and over and over again. Star Wars is way better.
And, to show that I can participate in the conversation at hand - Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of the Serenity, could whup the asses of all of the above.
Unless Picard started using telepathy. Then all bets are off.
No way he could dust Kirk, man! Unless he snuck up on Kirk while Kirk was being seduced by Inara! She would be drawn to him and his 22 charisma!
In a 20' by 20' gladiator pit with a sand floor and cheering Klingon spectators, Kirk would make him scream like a scared little ferengi.
Captain Kirk: "If you can't beat 'em, f**k them."
Picard had a lot of charisma as well, but he let Riker do his seducing for him (we used to call Riker the Picard Proxy D*ck)
I'm not really a Trekkie, but I really got into Star Trek when a friend of mine ran the coolest FASA Star Trek campaign where I played a Klingon captain who survived about a dozen solo knife duels before he finally went out in a blaze of glory, his D-7 battlecruiser dusted in a nebula by a Romulan bird of prey squadron (1st generation BOPs)....I think that that particular campaign was my absolute favorite game I ever played in. Played it for 3-4 hours at a time, once a week or so, for about 4-5 years...it was perfect.
Same GM a year later ran a Klingon FASA ST RPG campaign where a friend of mine played the captain. This friend loved the game so much, he drove in from Phoenix (400 miles) once a month and we would play Saturday and Sunday and he'd drive back on Sunday afternoon. Now we're all married with kids and we can only think about those days and sigh.....(think nursing homes for gamers would be awefully cool when we're all decrepit and stuck in the same place!)
James Tiberius Kirk.
"Prime Directive? We don't need no stinkin' Prime Directive!"
My vote is for Captain Morgan :) got a little Captain in ya? besides pirates are cool and he is a snappy dresser :)
Second place is Captain Malcom Reynolds; if you didnt like the Serenity tv series, then I dont know whats wrong with you, but they have a room with padded walls and men in white coats that may be able to help. Reynolds is not afraid of the hard decisions and still gets through without the great support system of the Federation.
Third, Captain James T Kirk; you just gotta like this Captain's style; hehe watched any old episodes lateley; I caught some on G4 and heeh he is a sexist pig that would be in serious trouble with HR for sexually persuing his crew like that, but hey, this captain too has been through the ringer and always put the safety of his ship and crew first.
Fourth, I would put the Captain of Babelon 5; the female one; I forget her name, but she rocked.
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I think Sisko was a Commander, since he got stuck in one hole of an outpost station as opposed to a ship.
I vote Picard, because even as a senior citizen he lays the smackdown (with his saddle or perhaps a tommygun) and he has a lot of depth and history. He's survived torture, assimilation, and advances from the 'most desirable woman in the galaxy'. I think Captain Kirk might trip up on that last one.
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My vote is for Captain Morgan :) got a little Captain in ya? besides pirates are cool and he is a snappy dresser :)
Second place is Captain Malcom Reynolds; if you didnt like the Serenity tv series, then I dont know whats wrong with you, but they have a room with padded walls and men in white coats that may be able to help. Reynolds is not afraid of the hard decisions and still gets through without the great support system of the Federation.
Third, Captain James T Kirk; you just gotta like this Captain's style; hehe watched any old episodes lateley; I caught some on G4 and heeh he is a sexist pig that would be in serious trouble with HR for sexually persuing his crew like that, but hey, this captain too has been through the ringer and always put the safety of his ship and crew first.
Fourth, I would put the Captain of Babelon 5; the female one; I forget her name, but she rocked.
Malcolm's cool, but Kirk would whup him.
If Mal Reynolds was able to whup the Aliance operative that came after him, than Kirk would be easy pickings.
Captain Jack Sparrow.
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Bella Sara Charter Superscriber
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Oh, yeah. Kirk who went 5 rounds with Spock in vulcan rutting season, on Vulcan, hi-g low O2 atmosphere, with a buncha Darksun-looking weapons he aint never seen before; yeah, you're right. He trembles in fear of Malcolm. Suuuuuure.
The thing about Mal is that he'd have shot Kirk while he was picking up some whacked out Vulcan can opener.
Kirk: "I. Don't. Want. To. Fight. But. I. Will. For. My. Crew..."
*bang*
Mal: "Sorry to interrupt your speech. I got tired of waiting."
Not a contest at all.
Out of the ST Captains, I would say Picard< he could have out-thought,out-manuevered, and out-classed all the rest. Besides, he started the whole Picard-pull with the shirts ;)
With that out the way, Renyolds would so whup Kirk. Kirk was to high-minded. Besides, Mal would have shot him for trying to seduce half the crew of the Serenity.
Captain Jack Sparrow.
Oooh, now I have to rethink my list; hmm, Captain Morgan is just the personae of Captain Jack after he gets a bit older; yeah, that's the ticket; they both are in first place.
BTW, Picard is such a lousy hand to hand fighter that he had to have Kirk come and beat up the bad guy in the Star Trek Generations or whatever it was called with the bad guy trying to catch the wave. In a straight fight; Mal would easily kick Kirks butt, even after having just watched the Gorn episode; Mal was a sergeant and a dedicated soilder with years of grunt work behind him, not some soft officer who mostly sits in a swivel chair and chases yeomen. Kirk is cool and a tough fighter; but he isnt Mal and hasnt lived through that kind of groundpounding war. I think they are about equal on slyness and clever underhanded stuff; Kirk was never tortured by a insane mobster in his own personal, fortified space station either and lived to talk about it, though I do give him some points for surviving the Klingon penal colony. This is really a good matchup, Kirk's only edge is superior resources.
Denny Crane.
sorry; dont know that one; pls elaborate.
Whatever you do, don't go look it up on Wikipedia; laughing your face off hurts.sorry; dont know that one; pls elaborate.Denny Crane.
Lol, sheesh I am so not with the program; I have no idea what Wikipedia is or how to use it.
ok; now I know who Denny Crane is; but he is not a captain; I seriously doubt any of us would go for the captain of industry title as being worthwhile. Thanks for the hot link.
In the StarTrek universe I'd always go with Captain Sisko. The rest have had their momement but he's my favorite. Besides, he half all powerful wormhole alien or the Emissary if you wish.
Outside the StarTrek universe the Serenity captain is great considering his ship is unarmed. I'd also put in good word for Babylon 5's commander and Commander Adama from Battlestar Galactica.
Colonel Steven Caldwell, commander of the Daedalus on Stargate Atlantis.
Colonel Caldwell will defeat *ANY* of the Star Trek captains based on one fact, and one fact alone:
He is in the AIR FORCE! Not some space-faring Air Force-wannabe Navy puke!
If this thing is going multidimensional, then the man has got to be Han Solo. NOBODY could POSSIBLY disagree with that.
HALLELEUJIA!!
(Greedo never shot first...)
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Bella Sara Charter Superscriber
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If this thing is going multidimensional, then the man has got to be Han Solo. NOBODY could POSSIBLY disagree with that.HALLELEUJIA!!
(Greedo never shot first...)
That's not canon, and you know that we are sticklers for absolute canon here on the Paizo boards. Greedo shot first...
...it's just that he has a bad aim...
...and was drunk...
...and had really bad cataracts...
...and, uh, Han like dodged...
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If this thing is going multidimensional, then the man has got to be Han Solo. NOBODY could POSSIBLY disagree with that.HALLELEUJIA!!
(Greedo never shot first...)
That's not canon, and you know that we are sticklers for absolute canon here on the Paizo boards. Greedo shot first...
...it's just that he has a bad aim...
...and was drunk...
...and had really bad cataracts...
...and, uh, Han like dodged...
Watch your mouth, kid, or you'll find yourself floating home.
Captain Avatar of the Yamato/Argo.
Harrison Ford for President!
He was president remember? When he captured that eastern block terrorist and they attacked Air Force One . . . don't you watch the news?
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Colonel Steven Caldwell, commander of the Daedalus on Stargate Atlantis.
Colonel Caldwell will defeat *ANY* of the Star Trek captains based on one fact, and one fact alone:
He is in the AIR FORCE! Not some space-faring Air Force-wannabe Navy puke!
Amen brother.
Han Solo however is the absolute greatest of all time...read the Han Solo Adventures.
Game on
Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of the Serenity, could whup the asses of all of the above.
DEATH!!!!
I so agree with you..Serenity was a great movie and the show was great too...
w00t w00t...GO MAL!!!!