Zuberu's page

Zuberu emerges from his veil of invisibility, claws and biting in a frenzy.

Claw: 1d20 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (17) + 6 + 2 = 25
Damage: 1d6 + 3 + 2 ⇒ (3) + 3 + 2 = 8

Claw: 1d20 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 6 + 2 = 28
Damage: 1d6 + 3 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 3 + 2 = 7
Confirming: 1d20 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 6 + 2 = 14
Extra Damage: 1d6 + 3 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 3 + 2 = 9

Bite: 1d20 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (10) + 6 + 2 = 18
Damage: 1d8 + 3 + 2 ⇒ (3) + 3 + 2 = 8

Coming to his master's aid, Zuberu flutters into the melee and assumes his battle form!

Stepping SW and using battle form to become medium. He's still invisible until he attacks.

"Teehee!"

Yeah! Let's get goin' toots. You're about to see what the boss's ripplin' pecs can do alright. That dungeon isn't gunna know what hit it!

Oh. My. God. Who invited the f&$&ing sunspot? Boss, if we're betrayin' anyone tell me we're betrayin' him first. Pleeeeeease.

Here comes one of 'em boss!

That's even better! the voice shouts within Tofutee's mind. The Boss is an great hunter. You shoulda seen what he did to those Iomadeans on the way here. They're gunna be walkin' funny for a while... if they ever walk again! Beyond ripplin' pecs and bein' an absolute animal in bed, literally, he's a wicked good fighter with his slicer and those big horns of his. Also, he's a chosen of Great Lord Baphomet, the King of Beasts, Lord of the Labyrinth, and my favorite demonlord. He's got all of Lord B's best blessings, including a gift for prophecy and the rare power to knit back together creatures like you and me.

So whatdoya say toots? Should I call the big bull over? Please say yes. I'm hopin' he likes you and he won't rip my wings off again.

Let's see what we got here:

A bunch of elven women loaded up with bows and arrows. Rangers prolly. The boss would spook their animals.

Gnomes. No way. The boss can't work with gnomes. He's be distracted all the time with thoughts of eatin' them.

Armored sorts covered in holy symbols. Paladins. That's never gunna happen.

Lady-barbarians. Now we're talkin'. The boss likes 'em big. I wonder-

What in the Nine Hells are those guys? Looks like a zombie, an ape, and... is that lady made outta fungus?! Oh, that's the ticket!

***

Hey toots! a flippant nasal voice beams into Tofutee's head. Are you and your table explorin' the Dutchess's dungeon? Cause that big studly side of beef sittin' at the bar's lookin' for a crew and he's heading the same way.

Hey boss, I was thinkin'-

What did I tell you about bothering me when I'm eating or f+%#ing, vermin

I'm sorry boss but this is real important. You're lookin' to explore that dungeon, right? Well isn't that place bad news? Why not hook up with a crew? You know, get some fools to watch your back while you're down there.

...and who would you suggest? Common sellswords? We didn't come here with allies in mind and I don't have time to build a new cell of Templars.

This tavern's full of interesting types. I'm sure I can find you a group of the usual. You know, an armored soldier, a pointed-hatted mage, a-

Enough! Interview every wretched soul in this place if you have to but leave me to my meal.

Chronicles are out and the game's reported.

Feel free to close this game out Doublegold.

Sure. I can't promise I'll have the bandwidth for another game (I literally just started one) but we'll see.

Ill-defined colossal monsters are intimidating alright.

The game’s reported but chronicles will have to wait until I get home. Now that we’re minor deities I suppose we should go on to rule a nation or something.

Sweet. Did he tap out or die?

I'll get things reported and chronicles out later tonight. Thanks Doublegold.

That works too.

I'm going to assume Elmar points out the devil with his enormous perception.

Overjoyed to have his challenge met by such an opponent, Zuberu lunges for the invisible foe. As he moves to strike his massive frame swells with divine power.

Eaglesoul triggers as a free action because he's an evil outsider. Swift action to activate bracers of might.

Miss Chance (high is good): 1d100 ⇒ 84

Grapple (eaglesoul, righteous might, divine power, bracers of might): 1d20 + 37 + 2 + 3 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 37 + 2 + 3 + 6 + 2 = 69

I believe that hits his CMD.

With a firm grip on his hellish opponent, Zuberu drags him to the ground and traps him in a chokehold with one huge arm. "Yield!" the enormous warrior-priest demands.

Greater Grapple - Death Roll: 1d20 + 37 + 2 + 3 + 6 + 2 + 5 + 9 ⇒ (5) + 37 + 2 + 3 + 6 + 2 + 5 + 9 = 69
Damage: 1d8 + 1d8 + 2d6 + 16 + 9 + 2 + 2 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (8) + (8) + (1, 3) + 16 + 9 + 2 + 2 + 6 + 2 = 57
Sneak Attack: 4d6 + 8 ⇒ (6, 1, 1, 2) + 8 = 18
Self Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 6

So he's prone and grappled. If he tries to escape Zuberu's CMD is 67 currently. If he just tries to hit Zuberu with his claws his AC's only 36.

Before this battle, Zuberu puts up eaglesoul, stoneskin, ironskin, fickle winds, and righteous might.

Zuberu steps forward having becomes an avatar of his patron's power.

"Are any of you mighty enough to face me?" he bellows in challenge.

HD: 5d8 ⇒ (8, 8, 4, 8, 3) = 31

Zuberu is leveled.

I’ll level when I get home from work.

Sorry, I thought Elmar had killed it.

"We must press on. This battle isn't over yet!"

"Ha, let it try. I will wrestle the beast into submission!" Zuberu boasts.

Whichever way is 'forward'.

”We are here for that”, Zuberu warns with a gesture at the enchanted decanter. ”Hand it over and we’ll be on our way. Fight us and we’ll have no choice but to destroy you.”

Everything okay DG?

Zuberu shrugs and pays the man/undead/daemon. "Take us."

"Give it a shot", Zuberu answers. "If they don't like your answer and attack we'll crush them."

”If there’s nothing else here we should move on”, Zuberu adds after Remial collects the treasure.

Zuberu grunts in agreement and pulls the few remaining wasps from his ears.

You okay out there DG?

Hrm. Zuberu doesn't have any good spells for this. Punching it is!

Punch: 1d20 + 21 - 3 ⇒ (10) + 21 - 3 = 28
Damage: 1d6 + 11 + 6 + 2d6 ⇒ (2) + 11 + 6 + (5, 1) = 25
Self Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 1

Flurry: 1d20 + 21 - 3 ⇒ (11) + 21 - 3 = 29
Damage: 1d6 + 11 + 6 + 2d6 ⇒ (6) + 11 + 6 + (4, 5) = 32
Self Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 3

Iterative: 1d20 + 16 - 3 ⇒ (15) + 16 - 3 = 28
Damage: 1d6 + 11 + 6 + 2d6 ⇒ (1) + 11 + 6 + (5, 5) = 28
Self Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 1

Second Iterative: 1d20 + 11 - 3 ⇒ (13) + 11 - 3 = 21
Damage: 1d6 + 11 + 6 + 2d6 ⇒ (1) + 11 + 6 + (2, 6) = 26
Self Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 5

Yuppers.

Yeah.

Religion: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (18) + 6 = 24
Religion: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (11) + 6 = 17

"That is Thoth", Zuburu explains. "But I have no clue what he's doing here. Elmar can you check that sarcophagus for traps?"

Yup. South.

The haversack only holds like 80 lbs. Zuberu will take the air walk from Ahkhet.

Drifting over on unseen wings granted by Ankhet's blessing, Zuberu joins Kaylor on the other side.

Are you suggesting we all climb inside the haversack?

So how do we move forward?

Zuberu nods as the tiny invisible dragonling explains for its master.

”Ha! Let these traps do their worst. We will crush whatever monsters they unleash.”

Surging with new levels of strength, Zuberu boldly enters the pyramid.

HP: 1d8 + 6 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (6) + 6 + 1 + 1 = 14

Zuburu's all leveled.

Anyone know what level the AP ends at? I'm curious if it's worth sticking with cleric to try and get 9th level spells.

Sweet. I'll level when I get home.

Zuberu thunders forward and slams a giant fist in the wounded scorpion.

Which will provoke.

Punch: 1d20 + 25 + 2 - 3 ⇒ (16) + 25 + 2 - 3 = 40
Damage: 1d8 + 18 + 6 + 2d6 ⇒ (3) + 18 + 6 + (2, 2) = 31
Self Damage: 1d6 ⇒ 3

It's happened a few times. I believe I went through entire dungeon without making an attack roll.

He's got it right. Zuberu's spent multiple encounters posing and mocking the enemies.

It's much more fun this way.

Well a decent brawl would be fine too. Zuberu usually doesn’t pin things because he wants to give them a chance to get some shots in (he’s sporting like that) but they keep trying to break free instead of punching him in the face.

Zuberu calls on Sobek’s might becoming a giant once again.

Righteous Might.

Pfft. I’m still hoping for that oil-wrestling…

In all seriousness, Zuberu’s always down for an epic wrestling match. I don’t know if there’s any specific monsters that would be a good fit for that.

Between Kaylor, Elmar, and the new guy, as a group we’re going to vaporize most normal us-vs-them encounters.

"I'd say that worked out", Zuberu comments as the devil-woman vanishes. "Let's crush some vermin."

Zuberu nods. "Breakfast and then after her!"

Zuberu frowns, unhappy with the notion of sending a potentially dangerous bounty hunter after an unprepared group of adventures.

"No, we are the heroes you have been sent to find. Tell us about your master. Who is this Hakotep? Surely he does not care for you if he sent you to attack us. we have slain all manner of mummies and beasts and other monsters from across Osirisn. If you were to battle us you would no doubt be destroyed like all the others."

"How about instead of a messy fight, a contest? If I win you leave in peace and tell your master that we were not to be found. If you win you can kill us (or try)."