Hey guys, stuff's been super busy at work. I'm gonna have to drop. Sorry!
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Uriah whispers to himself Damn dirty animals. He flourishes his rapier and mocks the creatures Are you an Owl? Or a Bear? Surely your parentage is in question!
Uriah looks around. More trouble eh.
Uriah just plucks on his lyre Brave Sir Anton, prickliest of knights, but not quite as prickly as Scramsax's knife....
I can definitely spin a tale here...it involves a halfling, a dragon and a sharp pointy object. Uriah chimes in
Uriah would love the opportunity to make more songs. And make fun of the paladin for getting subdued by succubus.
Spying Scram's actions Uriah says That is most certainly going into the song. Brave Sir Anton the noblest of lads, he dove into the sea to rescue the lass, The Dragon doth fly, and doth fall to the grass, when Scramsax the Bold shoves a caltrop up its....
Uriah moves over to Scram and heals him Better you than me... he mutters with a grimace at the acid's effects.
Uriah thinks the name of this song will be The Dragon, the Monk and the Sea. A ballad of bravery and asphyxiation
Uriah moves to Raiden and casts a spell of healing.
If the dragon is eating you, it's not eating me... Uriah offers as an explanation for this newfound protective instinct towards his allies.
Uriah attempts to stop the Dragonrider... He brandishes his rapier and says Pause in mute fear at the blade of Uriah the Bold!
Uriah draws his rapier and calls out WELL YOU'VE GONE AND DONE IT! TASTE THE BLADE OF URIAH THE BOLD! But inside he's really just terrified.
Wisdom DC 15 for half, on a failed save the dragon must " must immediately use its reaction to move as far as its speed allows away from you."
Uriah sighs and draws his rapier...he seems a bit despondent It's not a great song, if you get burned alive singing it... Uriah trails behind...he's not exactly a coward...but hes not not a coward either.
Uriah looks around confusedly I'm not fighting a dragon. he says
The story of my life Master Zayless. Uriah quips Time to find a tavern, sing a song or two, and find a comely maid.
Uriah follows behind.
Uriah deftly recovers himself and tries to salvage the situation.
He surreptitiously casts a minor cantrip designed to create noise and has it say Fool of a halfling. Of course I want to be buried in the orchard. I want you and the other fools to escort my love Thelma to the orchard.
Uriah watches, dumbfounded, as someone else tries to accomplish Bard things.
Well then. Uriah says as they enter the woman's mad tea party I guess she won't give up those ashes...maybe she wants them for steeping?
Surely you don't believe we can cause the earth to swallow something whole. Although...if we could. Uriah waggles his eyebrows a bit at the barbarians. nope
Well. You want some ashes to use in your paint. Why didn't you say so! Of course you can have some ashes, let's just bring ole Tappy Tip Tocker out of this war zone here. We wouldn't want some Red Robed bugger to get any more ideas about turning little Tricky into an undead again...oh did we mention he was undead? Do zombie ashes help or hurt the whole "Rawr I smash stuff" thing? I'd imagine they hurt, but you would know more than me. Tell you what, you guys come with us and we can find you all sorts of zombies to smash up and turn into ashes.
Uriah rolls his eyes a bit and lets Scram and Anton have their fun.
Oh dear sweet Brother Anton. I believe you are punching Rashemi Barbarians come to collect their master Ticky Tary Tacker's ashes. Tsk, Tsk. Uriah walks forward with his hands outstretched, (he put his rapier away ostentatiously just a few moments before) Brothers! I am Uriah Lewis, erstwhile and sometime member of the Lord's Alliance. I believe you are looking for those. Uriah indicates the dead gnomes remains Go on ahead, there's the little Tack Tricky Tibble's mortal coil...as it were.
Uriah says And that ladies and gentlemen is how to "End Friendships and Disgust Allies" a short story written by Lord Anton "I punch things hard" Jiang
Uriah continues his flourishing and mockery, two things near and dear to his heart.
If Uriah can see a zombie well enough he'll flourish his rapier in a manly way, and cast Vicious Mockery and disadvantage on next attack Wisdom Save DC15
Uriah moves to separate himself from the group a bit.
Uriah isn't doing anything stupid, like actually fight those things hand to hand or anything. For now he's calling out words of encouragement to the brawnier members of the group.
Good sir! I *do not* "inflate" anyone's honor. I tell true tales of heroism, derring do and brave conquest. Uriah says, and no one can tell if he's joking or serious.
Uriah draws his rapier with an appropriately theatrical flourish. It's like she never even got to you. he says to Ravvek. Don't worry, you'll do fine. And if you don't well there's always Ravvek. he says to Anton
Uriah looks bored. These guys are walking cliches... Pretty standard barricade you have there.
We stand for wenches, wine and adventure! Uriah proclaims back and then hastily he adds Oh! Yes, and down with the Red Men in Capes!
Uriah is so distracted by the lack of hair that he forgets to ask the pertinent questions...
Uriah keeps up his ballad, when it ends he begins a standard form epic poem about the goblinoid races of Faerun and their habits in the boudoir. Uriah can keep this up all day. Tavern songs are his thing.
To distract from the situation, Uriah pulls out his flute and launches himself into a ballad...a bawdy one about seducing non humanoid races and all the fun that can be.
See, there's the Red Robed guys. We *could* just ask them.... as soon as Scram says the words "tavern" and "libation" Uriah immediately becomes interested and walks over Which way? I bet I could get us drinks for a song.
Well. That's baaaawful. Uriah quips as Soliel turns into an animal. Well. I'm sure we're bound to find all manner of red robed fellas here...
Uriah is ready to write new and exciting tavern songs, seduce wenches...and not get his soul sucked out of his body by demons.
If I had more renown and GP I'd try to get a Cape of the Montebank from my faction.
Uriah has 546GP and literally nothing to buy. Can you give GP to someone?
Alrighty then, leveling Uriah to 5th 4th: HP gain +6, Ability Score increase DEX and CHA by 1,one more cantrip (Light), one more spell known (Suggestion 2nd level), one more 2nd level spell slot 5th HP gain +6, Proficiency goes up to +3, Bardic Inspiration to d8, Bardic Inspiration recovered on a short rest, one more spell known (Hypnotic Pattern 3rd), 2 3rd level spell slots Gain of 225 gold and some downtime and some treasure points. Any ideas on some things Uriah should spend his gold, DT or TP on?
Are we starting our next adventure at 5th level? If so I'll level Uriah, if not I'll go slow track and only get to 4th. It doesn't matter much to me, I like the character not the numbers. Also, 5 levels and 0 attack rolls. I'm really gonna try and never actually make an attack as Uriah ever.
Currently 3rd level with 2223
So Uriah was 3rd with 4 advancement point.
Uriah can just skip ahead to level 5 now right???? This nets him 225GP. right?
Alas. A dirge my song will become... Uriah says, a tear forming in one eye. And it would have made a most excellent heroic epic.... pity. Uriah pulls out his lute and plays a little melody Brave and True Sir Ravvek, undone by the unholy wench. She plucked his trousers, and his soul, just as easily as anything.
Uriah gestures with his rapier to the Demoness! Unhand that man! He's no master of the boudoir! I, However, shall dance with you this evening foul wench of the underworld!
Uriah cuts lose with a biting word! Hey! Demon whore of the lower pits! Keep your venereal diseases away from our paladin! He's supposed to be saving himself for marriage!
Uriah stands well to the rear, gesturing at the door. Lads! Yonder on! Horrible things could be happening to Ravvek as we speak! He could be... *audible gasp* In various states of undress! Perhaps even "In flagrante delicto" Gods curses upon the demoness that sucks the souls of men from their.... chests! |