Uncle Tetchy's page

My heart weeps on the poop deck
My heart breaks on the poop deck
If the water tastes like brine
What to do, heart once a whole?
Between the hiccups and the burps
My stomach turns and shows the bile
I spit it out, like streams of soup
I see a man, a-steering ship
Standing tall, hand at the helm
Yet my place is on the poop deck
My heart weeps on the poop deck

Uncle Tetchy is impressed, and honestly slightly worried about the speed with which Juan and Aqua cut down the woman. Not so close to me! he trumpets, then turns to the prisoner You ok, spindly man? If not, I can ask one of the guys to use my healing stick.

Hah, a trap now! You are going nowhere, lassy, and let it be no secret to you who will be right behind that man in Pharasma's hall if you kill him!

Tetchy means business, and moves to the direction that Aqua gestures to, ready to strike down any filthy ambushers that might upset him

Tetchy moves to take cover behind the next pillar, draw this great sword and readying for when the person hiding should come into range.

Game's up! he says better come peacefully.

Sit!

Greatsword: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (18) + 7 = 252d6 + 6 ⇒ (1, 6) + 6 = 13

Uncle Tetchy sounds like he's trying to say something poetic, but it just comes out as RAAAAAAH! as he rushes forward and slashes at the (yellow) dog.

Greatsword, Yellow Dog: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (14) + 7 = 212d6 + 6 ⇒ (5, 2) + 6 = 13

What's this, the captain abandons ship?! Juan, matey, just steer her in and we'll board that Topaz soon enough.

Hoist the flag, we've got us a boat to sail! Let's see who stands in the way of captain Aquavit and boat master Willy!

Huffing an puffing after the exertion, Wilbur 'Uncle Tetchy' Meuighlik Bowckhains takes a few second to regain his breath, then starts working on lifting the anchor.

Oh, and we should probably get the deaf guy on board.

Oh no, you don't go lobbing no nothing! Tetchy shouts as the frog blasts Nepali. I'll give you a taste of what I think of you throwing types. In to the water with you!

Double move

Tetchy works up a rage You're winning? Ain't nothing to win here but pain!

He swing his blade at the gut of the smarty man

Hack! Rage!: 1d20 + 7 + 2 ⇒ (10) + 7 + 2 = 192d6 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (4, 3) + 6 + 2 = 15

Round 1

Ah, you want a piece of me?! You should have said so!

Tetchy swing his ridiculously oversized blade at the enemy

Big Sword, Pirate: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (1) + 7 = 8 I am so disappointed now

Fprt: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (2) + 5 = 7 Well, better prepare for some LOUD coughing

UT starts climbing up as well, but keeps an eye on the drowning pipsqueaks, ready to jump in if they drown too much.

Climb: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (8) + 4 = 12
Climb: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (14) + 4 = 18

Tetchy curses to himself, then mutters, somewhat guiltily: So.... 's anyone have a hook?

I SAID: YOUR MOTHER WEARS CHELAXIAN ARMY BOOTS AND THINKS THE X ON THE MAP MEANS 'DON'T GO HERE' Tetchy says, testing whether Necalli is just taking the p*ss.

If the neighbours weren't awake, they are now.

Also, the spelling of your name is oddly appropriate

NO NEED TO SHOUT. I'M NOT DEAF

The big lumbering man just answers Necalli: Boy, you sure can holler!

Well, we better get that healing twig out again. I ain' no doctor but I know people get mad after being bitten by a dog like that Tetchy says to aquavit so don'cha go crazy on me or I'll keelhaul ya.

I don't know 'bout you guys, but I've got some jaw-thirst after this guy. Let's sail that boat!

Round 1

A ship, eh? Let's go investigate this ship. I'm no stranger to - eh - investigating ships.

Why is this guy so loud? Tetchy asks, then looks at the crate, hmm, she ain't waking up for a while. Look, i've got this healing twig right here, served me right before. Can of you skinny types activate it, so we can heal this woman?

Round 3

Don'you how throwing stuff at me! Tetchy says, you come over here and fight like a man! Or two half-men once I'm done with you

Tetchy works up quite the rage, steps forward and hacks at his opponent, aiming for the mid-way point.

Urban rage, +4 Str

Hack, Red: 1d20 + 7 + 2 ⇒ (12) + 7 + 2 = 212d6 + 7 + 2 ⇒ (6, 6) + 7 + 2 = 21

Round 2

That's the way it is going be then, HUH? Hiding behind barricades tossing scraps at us, instead of getting your face broken like a MAN!

Tetchy doesn't like it one single bit, and moves up to the barricade, readying to strike anyone in range again.

Tetchy hurries up to the corner of the crates, and readies his great sword to mow down anyone stupid enough to come near it.

Well, Tetchy says that woman was promising, but now I'll better move in before she gets erself killed

Hearing the clumsy noises of Aquavius, Tetchy sees no reason to stay outside, and move in.

Do those crates stack to the ceiling, or is it possible to climb over them to get around the barrier?

Darkvision

Tetchy moves in, cracking his knuckles...

Sounds like some nasty hoodlums, Tetchy says, Let's show these punks.

Tetchy is about as stealthy as an elephant in a strawberry field.

We're back to land-lubbing now, so let's get this over with. We're looking for stolen loot, in a warehouse. You got loot, you need to shift it, that how it works. Might as well ask around, see if anyone has been trying to get rid of stuff lately.

Now I'm not must of the asking type, you know. With a face like this, you're not in it to make friends, you see. Any of you good at making friendly?

Diplomacy, gather info (aid): 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 = 22

Hey, I'm a pathfinder too, now. Tetchy says to Aquavius, clearly ruffled by the challenge, Joined a year ago after the sulphies got a bit too hot on my tail. Been saving the society pipsqueaks from dying ever since. Good fellers, all of 'em, but some of them just too frail. All it takes is one good blow to the noggins, and they go right down. Now you seem like you can handle yourself, but I'm not so sure about that frail frilly type over there, he says, pointing 'candidly' at Azura with a hand the size of a shovel.

Hi bluedove, 's gonna be nice playing at your side!

Also, Tetchy is all riled up and good to go.

Hah! the large man trumpets as the gist of the mission trickles through in his brain, there be a better jig than scragging machines. he adds happily.

It'll be good to be out of the gate again.

Now, just why we don' get on that Titan and fend off any cut throats is beyond me, but yer the boss, so we go to that warehouse first. Loot first, laddies! We'll have those pirates pay the music later.

A loud, trumpeting voice approaches.

A-way down south where the whale fish blow!
Down in Egorian
Them girls all dance to the roll and go
And we roll the woodpile down!

Rolling, Rolling

A wall of man stops his loud bellowing song. Hah! Some fresh air. as he inspects the room. He's bringing a great sword, which looks appropriate sized given his stature. After nodding and listening to Juan and acknowledging Aquavius and Qillian, he lets out another loud clap of thunder: WILBUR, delivering his name with a stern smile, as if to say: don't make fun of my name.

I better sign up quick before you pipsqueaks drown, then!

There's a miniature city in there as well, beautifully carved. We dealt with a bunch of scary blue men and their evil gazes on the way up here.

I SAID... seeing the minotaur gore Janira again, Tetchy doesn't even finish his sentence before he builds up a mighty rage, and then swings his great sword at the bull-headed monster.

Enter controlled rage, +4 to strength, step in and swing

Greatsword, Controlled Rage (STR): 1d20 + 7 + 2 ⇒ (17) + 7 + 2 = 262d6 + 6 + 2 ⇒ (2, 3) + 6 + 2 = 13

You try'n'do that with me, you big, you lumbering sack of steak. You better wish you had picked on someone your own size, cause I've got a big blade and I'm about to cut your ugly bovine mug into a nice handbag. Tetchy loudly proclaims as he comes rumbling down the plane, jumping the stream while he's at it.

Doubel mooh-ve
Acrobatics: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (18) + 4 = 22

And drawing his blade, of course

Let's hustle, move, move!

Wilbur runs up with his greatsword in hand, but sees Zakon blocking the passage. He tries t find a way around (double move)

Janira's still in trouble! We've got to get that minotaur to pick on something it's own size! Tetchy says, quickly forgetting his wavering in face of the blue man.

Tetchy doesn't take kindly to small blue fey ogling him like that. He moves around, trying to get behind the creepy eyeballs, and hack down with his blade.

Crack the skull of the creepy smurf: 1d20 + 7 - 2 ⇒ (14) + 7 - 2 = 192d6 + 6 ⇒ (4, 1) + 6 = 11

Can somebody get this fr*aking blue imp away from me!

Tetchy clearly doesn't like the smurf.

These blue bastards give me the heebie-jeebies! Tetchy says, not feeling so brave anymore in the underground cave.

Split skull with heebie-jeebies: 1d20 + 7 - 2 ⇒ (3) + 7 - 2 = 82d6 + 6 ⇒ (2, 6) + 6 = 14

Let's show these creature what a true sailor is made of! Off with their heads!

Double move

Let's go! Tetchy follows.

Tetchy wonders what the logical next step implies.

I don't know. I was never a sneaky stealing thief. I took what I wanted.

Tetchy picks up one of the semiprecious stones - hoping the gillman doesn't see it - and pockets it.

Of sorts, Tetchy says in response to the question whether he is a pilgrim. Once it is clear that the gillman is not hostile, he starts having a look at the miniature city.

Perc: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (4) + 5 = 9

The soldier and the thief. The vigilant shall carry light to the darkest corners of the world. Thievery is but a form of praise. Makes you wonder why I stopped being a... he hesitates for a moment sailor, eh?

I remember the stories differently. The ones I know didn't have the carrying of lanterns or the stealing of gems in them. Less actions, more words. I would've liked them better if they had told me this version.

Tetchy scribbles a bit on a piece of paper, though he gets frustrated quickly as the quill punctures the sheet. He's made a couple of crude drawings, then moves on.

Seeing the gillman, he moves to the edge of the pool, clear his throat - causing a bit of a rumbling to echo through the cave - and then says Hello!

Hey, good jump, Names. You'd make a good sailor, yet!

perception: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (15) + 5 = 20

Won'cha look at that... Tetchy says, clearly at an advantage in the dim lighting

Look, I'll stand here and hold that rope. That rope is going nowhere. You little spiders climb down all you want, if'n'you think that rag down there is worth it.

Or on a boat, jumping from one deck to the next. You needed an anchor? I can hold that rope for ye. The towering man says, looking serious about it.

Ain't far. Just give me that rope, and I'll get there for you.

Tetchy takes a running jump to the other side.

Acrobatics: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (20) + 4 = 24

Con; NL damage: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (3) + 2 = 51d6 ⇒ 2

*Cough*... *wheeze* Tetchy says after a while

Blast this uneven ground! Give me a gale on the Arcadia every day, this sodden mud it terrible!

Names, I think I'd feel better if you used the fiddly stick again. I think Van and Kodo could also use some.