Space Goblin

Star Captain Killjoy's page

66 posts. Alias of Cole Deschain.


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James Sutter wrote:
In my mind, Sylix the Siren is what would happen if Donna Summer and MIA had a baby, and that baby joined the space marines...

...

I HAVE A SUDDEN AND POWERFUL URGE TO FLEE IN TERROR!


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CURSE THAT CUNNING SHIRREN AND HIS MASTERY OF DISGUISE!


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THAT ANDROID IS HIRED!

...

Soon as I get some money.


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YES! FLEE! RUN FROM THE IMPERIAL GOBLIN SPACE NAVY!

(You're gonna be missed, man, but, as you say, your name's likely to keep popping up... just don't be a stranger, hm?)


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THIS IS WHY I ALWAYS WANT BIGGER CANNONS.


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MageHunter wrote:
Quality is not necessary for a sci fi cult following...

Yo way yo!


CONSEQUENCES?! Never heard of 'em! ENGAGE THE WARP-RA- oooooo, pickles!


RAMMING. SPEED.


QAPLA!


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John Napier 698 wrote:
Marines! Muster on the boat deck. Prepare for boarding.

"FIND ME A BOARD! IDEALLY WITH A NAIL THROUGH IT!"


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John Napier 698 wrote:

*Declaration of War accepted* All ships, fire a barrage of Headhunter Anti-ship missiles with a Laser Follow-up Attack.

[dice=Missile Attack]1d20+20
[dice=Missile Damage]9d20
[dice=Laser Attack]1d20+20
[dice=Laser Damage]20d6

Prepare for Evasive Maneuvers (Add dodge bonus to EAC and KAC).

Sets fire to the rules

"CREW! Prepare for RAMMING SPEED! ACTIVATE THE ENERGY RAM! HOIST THE JOLLY ROGER! BRING ME THE HEAD OF BARRY MANILOW!AND RUN ME A BATH!"


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Sets fire to the budget


I did.


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84. I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!


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NATURAL ENEMIES!

HATE THEM!

THE IMPERIAL GOBLIN SPACE NAVY WILL NOT REST UNTIL THEY ARE PURGED FROM THE STARS!

(Opinions expressed by Star Captain Killjoy should be treated as seriously as any opinion expressed in full caps lock fury...)


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AS IF ANYONE NEEDS TO ASK!


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He's the primary recruiting spokesman for the Imperial Goblin Space Navy!

Which totally exists!

WHY ARE ALL OF YOU LAUGHING?!

*Comedic destructive spree, then a banner drops down from the top of the screen reading, "That's our Zardon! Tune in next week for more wacky shenanigans!"


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Kobold Defense League wrote:
Imposter!!! Goblins don't read text!

WHO SAYS I READ IT?!

Some maniac who can read told me.

After I pointed a junklaser at him and told him what I wanted to hear.


Kobold Defense League wrote:
DMMWolf wrote:
Bloodrealm wrote:
Also Space Kobolds

THIS!!!! Screw it I'm Going to Stat them if Paizo Doesn't!!!

Beware the Dread Space Pirate Meepo!

At last! The stars shall be ours, my draconic brothers and sisters!

NUH-UH! The Imperial Goblin Space Navy was here first*!

* According to this totally valid text which I am assured was not just invented five seconds ago by someone less afraid of writing than the rest of us.


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WALK IT OFF, CREW! THE IMPERIAL GOBLIN SPACE NAVY DOESN'T HAVE SICK LEAVE!

...

*Starts humming along with Cap'n Pillbug*


Putting on arguably my goofiest alias for this...

VICTORY! With the accursed Sutter banished to the Freelance Galaxy, the Imperial Goblin Space Navy can start making proper inroads into the conquest of the Pact Worlds!

Now, we need at least one ship...

(Thanks for giving me an excuse to make an idiot goblin space captain alias. Without you, there'd be no Imperial Goblin Space Navy, and that just wouldn't do. Thanks for everything you've done- and everything you're going to keep doing!)


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Pillbug... In... SPACE!!! wrote:

By the time of Starfinder, we gobs will have been calling most of you murder hobos "pinkskins" for at least hundreds, if not thousands, of years.

Praise Be to St. Doodlebug the Bubble-Bubble!

ALL GLORY TO ST. DOODLEBUG!

Who... I may or may not have known back in the day...

Kind of a blur.

Anyway!

"Shellfish"- Goblin slang for Shirren... whose exoskeletons have such a satisfying texture when lit on fire.


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Rysky the Dark Solarion wrote:
Huh, so the Drow rule Apostae?

NOT FOR LONG!


AbaCAbsA VIDEo TriaL BAA!


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...

HOW DID YOU HUMANS FIND MY CREW REGULATIONS AND SAFETY GUIDELINES?! WHO TOLD YOU?! IT WAS BOB, WASN'T IT?!


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QAPLA'!


YO WAY YO.


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Ziggy crafty, Ziggy mean,
Goblins run and shoot and scream!
Keep on running, set the trap,
Send ol' Ziggy to a dirt nap!


Seisho wrote:
I think you need another pair of fire proof underpants for that

Un-der pan-ts?


ALL OF THE TRIBES SHALL BE FOLDED INTO THE MIGHTY IMPERIAL GOBLIN SPACE NAVY! STARSPARKS, VOID EATERS, CRASHJUMPERS, ALL!

THE AGE OF GOBLINS DAWNS! SOON WE SHALL HARNESS THE FIRES OF THE STARS THEMSELVES!

AND BURN YOU WITH THEM.

Just... you know. Hold still.


I want that Goblin to become forum avatar-ready.

FOR REASONS.


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DJEternalDarkness wrote:
Cannot wait to see this book!~

Indeed!

CREW! Prepare for a daring raid upon the Paizo offices! Many of you will die, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make! I MUST HAVE THAT BOOK!


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Sketchpad wrote:
Can anyone confirm that there'll be stats for folks to play Spaaaaace Goblins? My wife REALLY wants to play one. ;)

YOUR WIFE IS CLEARLY AN INTELLIGENT WOMAN OF SUPERIOR TASTE! THE IMPERIAL GOBLIN SPACE NAVY WELCOMES HER WITH OPEN ARMS!

...

But tell her to bring her own food, we're... kinda crap at the whole quartermastering thing around here....


I'LL TAKE A DOZEN!


It's no picnic in here, you walking suitcase!


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I HATE HER!!!!

Stupid job-ruining do-gooder...

Kicks rocks, muttering about stupid longshanks and their stupid scruples


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♫ Fiery plasma, oh what fun!
Shoot it from a hefty gun!
Smash their airlocks, make 'em hiss!
Goblins never, ever miss!
Board the vessel! Make it burn!
Hunt 'em down at every turn!
Gut the captain, take the head!
We be goblins! YOU BE DEAD! ♫


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Those ships are LOVELY!

...

Looks for how to hotwire them.


Dominar Rygel XVI wrote:
If there's ever an inclination to do a Free RPG Day module for Starfinder, I'd be totally psyched for Ratfolk vs. Space Goblins.

AND WE WILL CRUSH THEM!


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Pillbug Toenibbler wrote:
TerminalArtiste wrote:
Do goblins appreciate fire being used against them, though...?
Does Dirty Harry still appreciate the awesomeness of .357 Magnum that puts a slug in him? Does Jeremy Clarkson still appreciate the awesomeness of an BMW M3 that runs over him? Does A. Slaad still appreciate the deliciousness of peppermint if she attempted to eat a lethal dose of it in a single snack? The answer to all of these is: Yes.

THAT'S the spirit! Join on up! The Imperial Goblin Space Navy always needs a few good Gobs!

(It's also worth pointing out the nasty little beasts think OTHER goblins getting lit ablaze is hilarious- if goblins being lit on fire curbed the enthusiasm of goblins for fire in any way, the species would have given up on it centuries ago)


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Fireman Gob Montag wrote:
Gorbacz wrote:
At this point I think it's obvious that this is Guardians of the Galaxy RPG.

I also suspect the ysoki iconic is going to be a full-on pyromaniac, probably with a background involving clearing out/repelling a xenomorph infestation. As a goblin, I eagerly await flamethrower-related combat styles and archetypes... and the complementary/necessary bacta-healer alchemist archetype.

Hmmm, should flamethrower wielders and pyrokineticists get a bonus to Diplomacy and fascinate checks against goblins?

The Imperial Goblin Space Navy Needs YOU!

See, we... had a flamethrower... incident. So... yeah. Time for a recruitment drive...

ANYWAY.

JOIN UP!


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OHO! SEIZE THE FLAMETHROWER, ME HEARTIES!

AND THEN TAKE THE SHIP!

THE IMPERIAL GOBLIN SPACE NAVY SHALL PREVAAAAAAAAAIL!


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V I C T O R Y !


SPACE GOBLINS!

GYAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


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Scurrilous lies!

GOBLINS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!


And I am BRINGING A CHAINSAW.


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GOBLINS!

ALL HAIL THE LITTLE GREEN MEN!


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Statboy wrote:
If you don't do something along those lines the snowflakes will find an "ist" to call you.

Careful, you're trespassing upon my purview here.

If anyone's gonna be a killjoy with no regard for others and an inflated view of the primacy of their own worldview, it's gonna be ME!


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Zip it and hand over the keys to the starship!


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KOBOLDS IN SPACE?!

Perfect!

ONE MORE SPECIES FOR THE IMPERIAL GOBLIN SPACE NAVY (ships that can actually fly pending) TO DECIMATE (decimation may vary. Percentage of goblin casualties determined by whimsy and/or boredom. Satisfaction not guaranteed) IN GLORIOUS BATTLE!

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