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Rogue Rogue Derpy Der's page
55 posts. Alias of Mike Welham (Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012).
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Like, gag me with a hairbrush.
Science is magic I don't understand. Especially moo-ons.
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I brush and floss every day, so I have nothing to worry about.
Aberzombie wrote: Orthos wrote: But zombie, everyone knows that Evil is Cool and Good is Dumb. That's only what they want you to think! I think what the news channels tell me to think.
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That also has the added advantage of making OTD more interesting.
I like Crunchberries, myself.
Moar "Is <X>/<Y>/<Z> (or some combo) evil?" threads?
Penguins are the coolest animals!
The 2nd Amendment guarantees the right to bear arms.
Don Keebalz wrote: Hello everybody! Come on down to Sofa-King, where the prices aren't just low. They're Sofa-King low! Pun Ditz doesn't get it.
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.
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Me neither.
Pun Ditz wrote: Studpuffin wrote: Pun Ditz wrote: Jyu1ch1 wrote: Justin Franklin wrote: Jyu1ch1 wrote: Took 2hours to get to work this morning. Saw a Semi truck jack knifed on the side of the road. Can't imagine that will be cheap to fix. Only took me an hour and a half.:) Was that the egg semi? I guess so? It did not have any outside markings that I remember. It got cut off by the chicken truck. Everyone knows the chicken came before the egg. At least the rooster did. NYUCK NYUCK. I don't get it. Get what?
Freehold DM wrote: Moorluck wrote: Then FHDM and myself will lift our newly shaven skulls in celebration!
....of saving a few bucks on shampoo and barber cost. ;) Oh no, I still shampoo and care for my scalp. It needs to remain lubricated, lightly scented, and above all, kept clear of blocked pores and detrius. Heh heh. Lubricated.
Lea, The Useless Rogue wrote: Puffy the Ninja Pie wrote: Sneaks into the thread, slices a pie into 8 slices, then sneaks out of thread, making a successful Stealth Skill check. ~Sneaks out of same window taking all of the pie with her.~ <Wonders what she's eating since all the pie is gone>
Let me see if I follow the logic...
They don't make my butt look evil, but they do make my butt look fat. Therefore, fat is not evil. Which means consuming corn syrup-laden products is actually good. So...paladins like corn syrup.
Studpuffin wrote: Treppa wrote: Auntie Paladin wrote: I've got a +5 holy cold iron flyswatter I'll be using to smite that backside unless you settle-down young man! "Auntie Paladin?" I think you're just George Bush in Barbara's wig! I thought it was Val Kilmer in drag... Now, that's evil!
Obnoxsexxi Drowess wrote: Better check mine.
::Vogue; vogue::
You could kill a wyvern-riding baby goblin with that!
Does that make you evil or good, Mr. Fishy?
Sin'ayd Ohkan'rr wrote: Gyldyr wrote: Sin'ayd Ohkan'rr wrote: I'll wait until everyone else has had a piece. Why? I like to watch. Nothing compares to you.
I'm too embarrassed to be called a drow.
It could be the other way around. I can't remember.
I had social miscues once.
I couldn't get rid of them with penicillin.
Not me. I'm pretty low on the totem pole. And I know Lea is on the stripper pole.
Hef Ing More-Ahn wrote: taig wrote: Dr. Double Honors, Ph.D. wrote: Urizen wrote: Mairkurion {tm} wrote: Urizen wrote: Pshaw! Over half of you STILL misspell my RL name on a regular basis.
But I do make you pay. Dearly. Not I, DoubleG. Ironically, one of Mindy's friends has dubbed me with that moniker. It's not ironic. It's like an IQ thang. Oh sure. Brag about your IQ on the boards, why doncha? DUR DA DURR! You rang?
A paladin of Asmodeus and a cleric in heavy armor walk into a bar...
politics and religion and stuff
hurr hurr
Rouge Rogue wrote: taig wrote: Urizen wrote: taig wrote: That sounds reasonable to me. Now that you mention it, raw sneak attack damage should be better than applying a condition/poison. Have you ever looked at the Complete Rogue sourcebook (3.5 splattybook from WoTC)? It's got a similar mechanic to what you're looking for, except it trades out dice of damage for a condition. You're thinking of the Complete Scoundrel. Yeah, that's the one. I knew it wasn't Complete Rouge. I've got both of those volumes, backwards and forwards. I've got two copies of one of those books.
Hey, you got the "extra large". I like!
Lea, The Useless Rogue wrote: taig wrote: Moorluck wrote: taig wrote: Must...get...to...20,000... How do you think I feel? I've missed evryone so far. :/ We can't have that, now can we?
This will be your first, then. Be gentle, it's my first time. That's not I heard. I've got +15 on my Listen checks.
<Steals Spanky's fork>
You got that right, DM Phil.
Lea, The Useless Rogue wrote: Mairkurion {tm} wrote: Maybe we need to make a thread "Seriously, new people, we welcome you. You just have to get used to us." Thats's a great idea! And then me and Derpy could pilfer their pockets while they listen to the orientation speech! :)
Taig the wife sayeth she senteth forth an E-mail...eth. I've got the very first issue of Playboy. Whoa, nelly, pull that skirt up just above your knees!
Got it and replied. I was out most of the evening.
I snuck up on Fryer and gave him a Wedgie Sneak Attack. That should fix things.
Lea, The Useless Rogue wrote: Rogue Rogue Derpy Der wrote: Lea, The Useless Rogue wrote: Rogue Rogue Derpy Der wrote: Looks like I stole the top of the page.
<Takes hood off>
I knew you was cute under that thing, but DA-AM! Let's go increase our Acrobatics skills. ;)
I'm game if you are. But maybe we should remove our clothes, you know, to show trust... and... stuff.
Why are all my aliases' such tramps? :P Oopsie. How did all my clothes come off?
<Heads to one of the "offices">
Yeah, I know. Even *shudder* Granny.
Lea, The Useless Rogue wrote: Rogue Rogue Derpy Der wrote: Looks like I stole the top of the page.
<Takes hood off>
I knew you was cute under that thing, but DA-AM! Let's go increase our Acrobatics skills. ;)
Looks like I stole the top of the page.
<Takes hood off>
Pwned by a rogue. How embarrassing!
tlotig wrote: Rogue Rogue Derpy Der wrote: Rouge Rogue wrote: Rogue Rogue Derpy Der wrote: Solnes wrote: Heya Dragon. I am sorry I have been unable to answer your calls tonight. We are having some problems with one of our employees and I have been on the phone with my boss and Kirk all night. It's dead now. When it charges I will call you right away. :) Doesn't even say hi to me. I am unloved. :(
I like the color of you outfit. Your name's not as cool as mine, though. My father was a functional illiterate, and my mother hated rogues. What can you do?
50 Flasks of achemist's fire, 3 flasks of acid, 100' of silk rope, masterwork sap, 2 live chickens, 3 large sacks and a small but vicious dog.
the rest should be self explatatory Oh, no. The last time I did that, I allowed the Lord of the Dance to come to power.
I like your name, though. It's a lot more clever than "The Kissing Bandit".
Rouge Rogue wrote: Rogue Rogue Derpy Der wrote: Solnes wrote: Heya Dragon. I am sorry I have been unable to answer your calls tonight. We are having some problems with one of our employees and I have been on the phone with my boss and Kirk all night. It's dead now. When it charges I will call you right away. :) Doesn't even say hi to me. I am unloved. :(
I like the color of you outfit. Your name's not as cool as mine, though. My father was a functional illiterate, and my mother hated rogues. What can you do?
Solnes wrote: Heya Dragon. I am sorry I have been unable to answer your calls tonight. We are having some problems with one of our employees and I have been on the phone with my boss and Kirk all night. It's dead now. When it charges I will call you right away. :) Doesn't even say hi to me. I am unloved. :(
The Masked Rogue wrote: Rogue Rogue Derpy Der wrote: I was using mysterious Thieves Cant. So you know what I really meant. Wink wink. Nudge nudge.
Ah, but I also know what wink wink nudge nudge means, and quite frankly I'm insulted. Why would you even say something like that? That last bit was for Shenker. Easy mistake.
I was using mysterious Thieves Cant. So you know what I really meant. Wink wink. Nudge nudge.
Lea, The Useless Rogue wrote: Rogue Rogue Derpy Der wrote: Dill Dotee Baggins wrote: Ahm a fahgter, and I ain't stoopid. Hey look two cute little gal rogues on either side a' me. This mahght jus' be mah lucky...URK!...
~Falls flat on his face.~
<Over Dill's body>
High five! ~Returns high five~
So who do we do next? We could PrC into assasian someday! :) The next person who uses a word with the letter 'z'?
Dill Dotee Baggins wrote: Ahm a fahgter, and I ain't stoopid. Hey look two cute little gal rogues on either side a' me. This mahght jus' be mah lucky...URK!...
~Falls flat on his face.~
<Over Dill's body>
High five!
Lea, The Useless Rogue wrote: Rogue Rogue Derpy Der wrote: Hubba hubba!
I know your secret so hubba hubba right back at ya sweety. Let me tell you, that took a lot of skill points.
About Dog the Inquisitor
DOG THE INQUISITOR CR 3
Male Dwarf Inquisitor 4
CG Medium Humanoid (Dwarf)
Init +6; Senses Darkvision (60 feet); Perception +10
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DEFENSE
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AC 22, touch 11, flat-footed 21. . (+9 armor, +2 shield, +1 Dex)
hp 32 (4d8+8); Judgement of Sacred Healing 2
Fort +6, Ref +2, Will +7
Defensive Abilities Defensive Training, Judgement of Sacred Protection +1; DR Judgement of Sacred Resiliency 1: Magic; Resist Judgement of Sacred Purity +1, Judgement of Sacred Resistance 4 (Fire), Stubborn
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OFFENSE
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Spd 30 ft.
Melee Heavy Shield Bash +2 (1d4+6/20/x2) and
. . Battleaxe +6 (1d8+6/20/x3) and
. . Javelin +2 (1d6+6/20/x2) and
. . Masterwork Greatsword +7 (2d6+9/19-20/x2) and
. . Warhammer +6 (1d8+6/20/x3)
Ranged Masterwork Crossbow, Repeating Heavy +5 (1d10/19-20/x2)
Special Attacks Destructive Smite +2 (6/day), Judgement of Sacred Destruction +2, Judgement of Sacred Justice +1, Judgement of Sacred Piercing +2, Judgement of Sacred Smiting (Magic)
Spell-Like Abilities Detect Alignment (At will)
Inquisitor Spells Known (CL 4, +6 melee touch, +4 ranged touch):
2 (2/day) Spiritual Weapon, Confess (DC 15)
1 (4/day) Divine Favor (DC 14), Shield of Faith (DC 14), Gorum's Armor, Wrath (DC 14)
0 (at will) Disrupt Undead, Acid Splash, Create Water, Detect Magic, Brand (DC 13), Sift
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STATISTICS
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Str 18, Dex 13, Con 14, Int 8, Wis 16, Cha 7
Base Atk +3; CMB +7; CMD 18
Feats Power Attack -1/+2, Precise Strike
Traits Armor Expert, Hermean Paragon (Steaming Sea)
Skills Acrobatics -5, Climb -2, Escape Artist -5, Fly -5, Heal +7, Intimidate +0, Knowledge (Arcana) +3, Knowledge (Dungeoneering) +3, Knowledge (Nature) +3, Knowledge (Planes) +3, Knowledge (Religion) +3, Perception +10, Ride -5, Sense Motive +11, Spellcraft +5, Survival +10, Swim -2 Modifiers Lorekeeper, Monster Lore
Languages Common, Dwarven
SQ Hatred, Inquisitor Domain: Rage, Judgement (2/day) (Su), Slow and Steady, Solo Tactics (Ex), Stability, Stonecunning +2, Teamwork Feat (change 3/day), Track +2
Combat Gear Battleaxe, Bolts, Repeater (20), Javelin (3), Masterwork Crossbow, Repeating Heavy, Masterwork Full Plate, Masterwork Greatsword, Shield, Heavy Wooden, Warhammer; Other Gear Backpack (1 @ 5 lbs), Bedroll, Boots of Striding and Springing, Wand of Cure Light Wounds
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SPECIAL ABILITIES
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Armor Expert -1 Armor check penalty.
Darkvision (60 feet) You can see in the dark (black and white vision only).
Defensive Training (+4) +4 dodge bonus to AC against monsters of the Giant subtype.
Destructive Smite +2 (6/day) (Su) You gain the destructive smite power: the supernatural ability to make a single melee attack with a morale bonus on damage rolls equal to 1/2 your cleric level (minimum 1). You must declare the destructive smite before making the attack. You can use
Detect Alignment (At will) (Sp) Detect chaos, evil, good, or law at will.
Hatred +1 racial bonus to attacks against Orcs and Goblinoids.
Hermean Paragon (Steaming Sea) You gain a +2 trait bonus on Initiative checks.
Inquisitor Domain: Rage Associated Domain: Destruction
Note: The effective level for the barbarian rage powers is currently equal to the cleric level. The rule that they should only count their effective barbarian level as 1/2 their cleric level has not be
Judgement (2/day) (Su) Variable bonuses increase as the combat continues.
Judgement of Sacred Destruction +2 (Su) Weapon Damage bonus.
Judgement of Sacred Healing 2 (Su) Fast Healing
Judgement of Sacred Justice +1 (Su) Attack bonus
Judgement of Sacred Piercing +2 (Su) Concentration and vs. SR bonus
Judgement of Sacred Protection +1 (Su) AC bonus
Judgement of Sacred Purity +1 (Su) Save bonus
Judgement of Sacred Resiliency 1: Magic (Su) DR/magic
Judgement of Sacred Resistance 4: Fire (Su) Energy Resistances
Judgement of Sacred Smiting (Magic) (Su) DR bypass
Lorekeeper +2 for Knowledge (History) checks relating to dwarves and their enemies. These checks can be made untrained.
Monster Lore +3 (Ex) +3 to Knowledge checks when identifying the weaknessess of creatures.
Power Attack -1/+2 You can subtract from your attack roll to add to your damage.
Precise Strike +1d6 precision damage for melee attacks if you and an ally with this feat flank the same target.
Slow and Steady Your base speed is never modified by encumbrance.
Solo Tactics (Ex) Count Teamwork feats as if your allies had the same ones.
Stability +4 to avoid being bull rushed or tripped while standing.
Stonecunning +2 +2 bonus to Perception vs unusual stonework. Free check within 10 feet.
Stubborn +2 save vs. [Charm] and [Compulsion] spells, gain a 2nd save next round if you fail.
Teamwork Feat (change 3/day) Swap your most recent Teamwork feat for another
Track +2 +2 to survival checks to track.
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