Miserable Old Bitty's page

Keep yer darn cats away from my birds!

Miserable Old Bitty wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

Celestial Healer wrote:

I thought Friday would never come.

me too. Apparently I have to do that thing with my tongue Friday likes or it's nothing doing.

*Jabs Freehold with a knitting needle*

Filthy! You younguns and your dirty talk! In my day, husbands and wives never looked at each other. They just procreated through a hole in the wall!

you mean their naughty bits touched? And you are describing the process? Sounds like you're a little perverted to me.

*jabs Freehold wih her other knitting needle for good measure*

No sassing!

Celestial Healer wrote:

I thought Friday would never come.

me too. Apparently I have to do that thing with my tongue Friday likes or it's nothing doing.

*Jabs Freehold with a knitting needle*

Filthy! You younguns and your dirty talk! In my day, husbands and wives never looked at each other. They just procreated through a hole in the wall!

Deep Thoughts, By Jack Handey wrote:

A mouth full of s!#* is still a mouth. Except now it's full of s&+&, and that's gross.

Potty mouth! {stabs him with Miserable Old Bitty's knitting needle}

Take your grubby mitts off my knitting needle!

That's the one I use to lance my boils.

Miserable Old Bitty wrote:

What's the FAWTL Party gonna do about all these dang kids on my lawn?

A rocking chair and Blunderbuss on every porch!!

You look like a carpetbagger from Shelbyville. I don't like it.

What's the FAWTL Party gonna do about all these dang kids on my lawn?

Dammit! You birds are going to stain my stutters again. I just had them cleaned. Shoo! Shoo!

Ninja-Assassin wrote:

The Ultimate Warriur wrote:

Tewe ghoat Prositund Oborohum Lenkuhn, HOAK HOGAHN, "SKROOOOONGK!"

I fixed that for you.

EDIT: Because you're the Ultimate Warriur
EDIT 2: It's what you do.
EDIT 3: Like in the Geico commercials.
EDIT 4: And Dora the Explorer (also in the Geico commercials).

I COME FROM PARTS UNKNOWN!

You leave my unknown parts out of it!

Freehold DM wrote:

One word folks- crotchless panties.

Tell me more

They let my nethers breathe. It's a godsend when you get infections down there as much as I do.

I drive these brothers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ices.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and that Donna
Karan, they be sharin'
All their money got me wearin' fly
Brother I ain't askin,
They say they love my ass ‘n,
Seven Jeans, True Religion's,
I say no, but they keep givin'
So I keep on takin'
And no I ain't taken
We can keep on datin'
I keep on demonstrating.

My love (love), my love, my love, my love (love)
You love my lady lumps (love),
My hump, my hump, my hump (love),
My humps they got you

Freehold DM wrote:

Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:

Joss Wedon likes marshmallows on his yams.

thank god we're talking about sweet potatoes.

Oh; I know the difference. Joss calls them yams though.

All the boys like eating marshmallows off of my yams.

Some grains loosen you up, others bind you up like a dominatrix on Valentine's Day. They're not all created equal, you know.

Mmmm... Bran

*chokes on birdseed*

Ugh. Why do you filthy animals eat this stuff?

Be that way. I'll just eat this birdseed myself.

This thread smells like bird doo.

Some of these aliases are filthy! I am ashamed to be in their company.

*jabs June Cleaver with a knitting needle*

Miserable Old Bitty wrote:

Cranky McOldGuy wrote:

Miserable Old Bitty wrote:

Cranky McOldGuy wrote:

Miserable Old Bitty wrote:

Cranky McOldGuy wrote:

doctor_wu wrote:

Also while I am in college I usually have my laptop and wifi on campus.

You younguns and your dang blasted wifi! Back in my day, we had to use smoke signals! Up hill! Both ways!! AND WE LIKED IT!!!

Ha! The closest you ever came to smoke signals was blowing smoke out of your ass!

You old coot!

Well, at least my ass has never been mistaken for the Goodyear Blimp, you old hag!

You need your listening horn, old buzzard. What you heard was somebody calling you the "Goodyear LIMP". Because you're limp like a wet noodle.

Then you shouldn't have flashed me, shrew! You nekkid would make a forest go limp,

How dare you! No one's been near my "forest" since the Hoover administration!

*jabs with knitting needle*

You had the whole Hoover administration "near your forest"!

:O

I was the first "flapper."

They were talking about my dinglies.

Miserable Old Bitty wrote:

Cranky McOldGuy wrote:

Miserable Old Bitty wrote:

Cranky McOldGuy wrote:

doctor_wu wrote:

Also while I am in college I usually have my laptop and wifi on campus.

You younguns and your dang blasted wifi! Back in my day, we had to use smoke signals! Up hill! Both ways!! AND WE LIKED IT!!!

Ha! The closest you ever came to smoke signals was blowing smoke out of your ass!

You old coot!

Well, at least my ass has never been mistaken for the Goodyear Blimp, you old hag!

You need your listening horn, old buzzard. What you heard was somebody calling you the "Goodyear LIMP". Because you're limp like a wet noodle.

Then you shouldn't have flashed me, shrew! You nekkid would make a forest go limp,

How dare you! No one's been near my "forest" since the Hoover administration!

*jabs with knitting needle*

Celestial Healer wrote:

Apparently "Bitty" is a misspelling and she should be a "Biddy". You learn something new every day.

Aye, that's the colloquialism around here. (Not that I would use it)

You keep your colloquialisms in your pants where they belong!

Miserable Old Bitty wrote:

Cranky McOldGuy wrote:

doctor_wu wrote:

Also while I am in college I usually have my laptop and wifi on campus.

You younguns and your dang blasted wifi! Back in my day, we had to use smoke signals! Up hill! Both ways!! AND WE LIKED IT!!!

Ha! The closest you ever came to smoke signals was blowing smoke out of your ass!

You old coot!

Well, at least my ass has never been mistaken for the Goodyear Blimp, you old hag!

You need your listening horn, old buzzard. What you heard was somebody calling you the "Goodyear LIMP". Because you're limp like a wet noodle.

doctor_wu wrote:

Also while I am in college I usually have my laptop and wifi on campus.

You younguns and your dang blasted wifi! Back in my day, we had to use smoke signals! Up hill! Both ways!! AND WE LIKED IT!!!

Ha! The closest you ever came to smoke signals was blowing smoke out of your ass!

You old coot!

Get a room!

Miserable Old Bitty wrote:

Tell them to get off your lawn!!!

That's what I do, and when they don't, I cut 'em!

*brandishes knitting needle*

You couldn't cut a fart in a bean factory, you old hag!

You sure seem cranky. Did someone forget to change your Depends?

Tell them to get off your lawn!!!

That's what I do, and when they don't, I cut 'em!

*brandishes knitting needle*

All that soda is rotting your guts!

strokes black manliness

Don't you stroke that in here!

Filthy!

*jabs with knitting needle*

You don't have to rub it in.

Don't you rub that where I can see it, you pervert!

*jabs with a knitting needle*

Get the hell off my lawn you g&@!!%ned whippersnappers !!!!

Quiet down! No one wants to hear your yammering!

DJEternalDarkness wrote:

[

Where I come from Goblins who have this problem also tend to only have one huevo as the head goblin female bites one off.

[Rubs scar]

Yeah, that's the usual rite of passage in Anklebiter land.

Don't you rub that in public!

*jabs with knitting needle*

Filthy!

*jabs Scint with a knitting needle*

You keep your phallic produce to yourself!

Celestial Healer wrote:

Morning, all. What did I miss?

Well, Scott found a visit to the doctor in order after being punched in the duodenum by a cranky elderly person.

And I'll do it again!

*jabs with a knitting needle*

I've got a knitting needle you can borrow.

*jabs Mairkurion*

What do you find creepy about me? Is it my bunions? With all your filthy talkin', I should be the one who is creeped out.

It's indecent! That tree has nothing on!!!

lynora wrote:

Re: age, I'm 35 and lovin it. :)

I so lacked confidence and self-knowledge in my twenties and I think unfinished is a good way to describe it. I like myself better now. I don't think I look old so I don't worry about it. Well, I do dye my hair, but I started going grey in my mid-twenties so I don't really think of that as a sign of age....now if I could just get my hair to not be red. No really, I dye it brown, it comes out red, I dye it black, it comes out black for about three days and then immediately fades to red. It's maddening. My natural haircolor was blond for crying out loud. Why is it insisiting on being red???

You should go with a natural silver color.

Also I think older women are quite attractive, but I really hate when people misinterpret that as me having a fetish for old women. There's a difference between older and old...

Nobody's greased my wheels since the Coolidge administration!

Filthy! In my day, we didn't use words like that. The following words should not uttered in public:

Puberty
Pregnant
Erect
Nipple
Climax
Fondle
Bosom
Moist

Any more of that talk and I'll make you wash your mouth out with soap and razor blades!

*goes back to knitting*

The warm glow is gas.

Shoo!

Filthy birds!

Celestial Healer wrote:

I'm thinking of an Oracle of Bone. Has anyone tried one?

Oh, behave!

Filthy!

*jabs with a knitting needle*

You're all filthy!

*jabs with a knitting needle*

*farts quietly*

swings his balzac around

*waves a dollar bill*

Stop circling me, you dang vultures!

*hands I.R. Bird a cigar*

Congrats! You've got a cigar!

President Hoover gave me a cigar. Although you know what it means when a president "gives a cigar," right?

You're all filthy!

*tosses some birdseed to the roadkill*

Move your lazy butt!

I don't know. Your moms was pretty hot and sweaty when I was done with her.

Filthy!

You're all filthy!

Miserable Old Bitty wrote:

Cranky McOldGuy wrote:

Talonne Hauk wrote:

GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!

Hey kid! That's my line!

g$!#!&n whippersnappers

No one wants to hear what you have to say, you old coot!

Get a room!

What are you implying?! That's filthy!

*jabs with a knitting needle*