No, Mister Chesterfield. I am not. I have seen things, Mister Chesterfield. Things no mortal eye could bear to see. Things no immortal eye should suffer, even. Don't judge me!
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While flying!?
Really, horn devil? Are you sure that's how it is done? Because that looked like a lot of missing to me! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Die, you horrible monster! Mahatma continues to flank Wilbur with Derrik.... Flanking gore deals ....12 piercing after DR....
17 total! Huzzah!
Mahatma lands heavily on the third tier, flanking Wilbur with Derrik, while Kepler and the cornugon assail the flesh golem from the air.... Gore glances off Wilbur's tough hide....
Will Will Will Will Mahatma saves against all the auras!
Mahatma trumpets a battle-trumpet and dive bombs Wilbur.... Gore deals or 17 piercing after DR....
But I've been working on a stirring pre-battle speech for.... Oh, blast it! Never mind, then!.... Tally ho!
Do not interrupt my speech, Mister Chesterfield! I did not cut in on your soliloquy, did I?
Remember this day, mighty Fierce Ones! This day shall be immortalized by the poets as a glorious day of battle between the forces of Good and Evil!.... And we shall fight proudly together, as virtuous champions of Good!.... Let us trample the vile minions of the Old Ones! Let us gore them to tiny pieces! Let us trumpet our victory from the highest peak of the zigg--
I, too, have words to say.... Mahatma emerges from Levinson's pack and assumes elephantine proportions, hovering just above the Hanging Gardens by flapping his great ears....
Your wish is my command, My Lady! Mahatma utters words of magic, trunk swaying in approximations of somatic spell casting gestures, and Kepler is healed of any remaining damage.... Casting fly on himself, Mahatma's ears expand to Dumbo-like proportions! He flaps them like great wings and his ponderous bulk is lifted skyward....
Yes, My Lady! Mahatma stomps the ground in challenge to the weresquatches!
With pleasure, My Lady.... Might of Ganesh, sharpen my tusks!! Mahatma's tusks seem to glow with a golden aura....
Mahatma springs from Levinson's hand, growing to full size in the blink of an eye, and bows down, offering his trunk to lift Levinson up to the ornate houdah saddle harnessed to his back.... It would be my great honor, My Lady Levinson!
Oh! We are dancing? You must allow me to show you how elephants dance! We are very graceful indeed!
Ooh! I'd like to get my trunk around that flea-ridden imp's scrawny little neck! Overgrown pachyderm, indeed! Harrumph! Mahatma shrinks down to figurine size mid-leap and lands in Levinson's backpack.
Mr Clean and Yingzen, with their keen sight, are the first to see the amazing sight of a flying white elephant with a houda saddle on it's back bearing a female rider with a cat perched on her shoulder approaching there position in the Canyon from the north.... Haloooooo!!! trumpets the great elephant as it glides with oversized ears outstretched closer to where Yingzen, Clean, Marcus, MJ and Daisy are posted.
Mahatma transforms from figurine to life-sized elephant and lowers his trunk to assist Levinson into the houdah saddle on his broad back. Once she is safely aboard, he springs into the air, hurtling his massive form skyward, ears seeming to grow to enormous Dumbo-sized proportions, flapping like great wings! Hold on tightly, My Lady! We shall reach the Box of a Pandora in the Canyon in no time!
Is it safe to stop cowering yet? Great Ganesh! How horrible! How.... Icky.... The corpse-city of R'lyeh is too terrible to look upon! So many....squishy....squiggly things....and....and....um....Oh, Sweet Vishnu! Are you quite unharmed, my Lady Levinson?
I see the potential for using Mr Cox's designs in combination with magic.... These channels that he calls neural circuitry.... An elemental spirit like that which animates a golem....bound to Mr Cox's circuitry.... Could provide us with useful weapons against the Great Old Ones....
I would be most honored to bear you in battle as your steed, My Lady.... If you are not as confident in your riding skills as you would prefer, might I recommend fitting me with a houdah--it is a chariot-like carriage one straps onto an elephant's back to ride in. Many of my former masters have used one.... A military saddle might serve just as well, and be easier to come by, perhaps....
Why don't you shut your tea-and-scones hole, Mister Chesterfield, and let My Lady decide where my rump will fit, if you please?
Might I humbly suggest to My Lady Levinson that she call my true form to your world, where I might show you my prowess in battle?
You may suggest all you like, Mister Chesterfield.... I was going to defer to My Lady Levinson, anyway....
Ooh! I believe you have just been told, Mister Whoever-you-are! squeals Mahatma to MJ....
Ooh! "The Quiet Game", you say? How does one play this Quiet Game?
Mahatma the marble elephant figurine seems to bounce in Levinson's backpack as she walks in a way that makes it seem as if his elephant head is nodding in agreement with Chesterfield's assessment.... Indeed! He has the most beautiful singing voice, though! He is The Magic-bloody-Flute, after all.... Was that a proper use of bloody, Mister Chesterfield?
Crocheted crackpot!!
Woven weirdo!
Why, thank you, my dear Mister Chesterfield, you are too kind.
Knitted nitwit!!
"A talking knock-knock!? You are trying to say that Mahatma is a joke!? Oh! Wait until My Lady Levinson summons me, you glorified do-rag! I will use your convex part as a convenient receptacle for my marble poo, you stitched stooge!
I am just the sayer, man....
Are you quite certain, Mister Chesterfield? mocks the marble elephant.... Because I heard from The Magic Flute that your creation was nothing more than one of Mister Crowley's many drug-inspired pranks--
It was Crowley, was it not? And he begged you not to give him away out of shame, not humility, you black-and-blue gentleman's bonnet!
Harumph! Tsk! Tsk! I am being appalled by your lack of tact, Mister Chesterfield! I thought the British were always polite, even when they were conquering your country.... admonishes the tinny voice of Mahatma from within Levinson's backpack....
What say you, my Lady Levinson? Do you trust these people you rescued to guide so large a group to safety? asks Mahatma in his small, tinny voice....
And Mahatma's stats for Levinson's info.... Mahatma, marble elephant figurine of wondrous power that summons an albino elephant with the advanced template, Int 20, Ego 28, Lawful Good, with Knowledge (arcana, history, nature, planes, religion) +15, and can cast haste 3/day, heal 3/day, fly 3/day, and greater magic fang 3/day.
Mahatma nods to Koran, and places his trunk in Levinson's hand, suddenly becoming his miniature marble figurine form once again, resting lightly in Levinson's palm.
Mahatma's snow-white hide almost seems to blush for a second at Daisy's sincere compliment.... Oh, no, my lady.... You are far the more beautiful creature than I.... Mahatma bends his front knees in a gallant and surprisingly graceful bow....
Well, yes, actually.... I can fly! Would you like to see? And I can easily carry two or three of you along, if need be! Mahtma's trunk sways back and forth with pride....
The great elephant lets out its breath as a sigh.... Very well, party pooper!
Ooh! Your Kepler is a fierce beast, indeed! Very impressive, my lady! If it please you, I shall show you how my dimensions can be magnified to the size of a true elephant! Not awaiting a reply, Mahatma eagerly demonstrates his other form, growing almost instantly into a huge, marble-white elephant with long tusks,honed, gilded, and jeweled! The scent of Jasmine fills the air from the great elephant's anointed hide. Mahatma the Great White Elephant inhales....
And see, Mister Chesterfield! That noble Tengu wields an Elven curve blade, just like Gilathadar up on the vile altar! The very sword of the King of Fairyland, Oberon himself, stolen from His Fey Majesty by rascally gremlins in league with the Great Old Ones, and now awaiting a worthy hero to wield it and wrest sweet vengeance from their evil hides!
AIIIEEE!!! Do try to be more careful, if you please, Mister Chesterfield! I am a marble elephant, not a bloody adamantine elephant! The marble elephant bounces and tumbles, coming to rest at Levinson's feet. Salutations, fair lady! I am Mahatma, companion and steed of heroes, and heroines! I am at your service, my lady! Let us vanquish the forces of evil together!
I, Mahatma, second the opinions of Mister Chesterfield! A most glorious showing of heroics on your parts, good lady and gentlemans! This East Indian-sounding voice, tinny and high-pitched, seems to come from the little marble elephant figurine riding in the flying top hat....
From within the cozy, velvet-lined interior of Chesterfield, the marble elephant shouts a muffled, tinny Tally ho!
Agreed, most splendid flying top hat Chesterfield!
Well, then.... Why don't we see for ourselves?
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