Lonesome Cowboy Limey's page

I have invented (but not perfected) a new dance to do when listening to C&W instrumentals set to a moderate polka beat, called the 'Dandy Walk'. I think it has potential.

I wonder whether I'm old, different, or both.

Global MegaCorporation is now full-swing into "badges". Complete training? Get a badge. Fill out a survey? Get a badge. Attend a conference? Get a badge. And the badges are listed on the Employee page if anyone searches for you.

And somehow my fellow employees take it very, very seriously. If they complete training and their badge doesn't show up, they raise a very public stink to let the powers-that-be know that they need that badge that they "earned".

And my whole thought process is:
(1) The badges are not involved in raises, promotions, nor performance reviews. They're exactly equivalent to giving little kids stickers for doing their homework or brushing their teeth.
(2) The badges are not visible externally, so they're meaningless if you're trying to find a job elsewhere.

So I fundamentally don't give a carp about badges. And apparently that makes me the odd employee out.

But seriously? I'd rather have a dollar than a badge.

Dollar Badge,

NobodysHome wrote:

My mother-in-law and her husband started feeding the wildlife in the back yard, and were soon buying 50-lb bags of dog food to keep up.

As a result, on any given evening you could find raccoons, skunks, cats, and opossums all eating together politely at the same bins.

If you live in a remote area and you want your cats to stay healthy, feed everybody. Then nobody feels the need to try to eat each other.

(They didn't even mind us humans particularly; they'd back off to the edge of the light when mother-in-law went out to refill the food or water, then come back in as soon as she was back inside.)

But then you have a bunch of racoons, skunks and opossum in your yard.

Yuhaw, and them's good eatin'!

If therern't two hornswoglin' varmints a-starin' at each other on Main Street, hands above their holsters, then 'taint high noon, pardner. Y'all can set yer fob-watches by it.

Keep them goaties touchin', rawhiiide

Lonesome Cowboy Limey wrote:

...

'I wear a ten-gallon hat to fit my ten-gallon head. Guess why I wear ten-gallon pants!'
...

Is it because you're full of s!@*?

One gallon... Two gallons... Three gallons...

NOT ANY MORE!!!!!

...and thanks to the direction of this page, I'm trying to think of terrible cowboy pickup lines.

"They call me lariat, cuz I can make a 'lass-oo'"

'Hey thar. Wanna rustle my Texas Longhorn?'

'I wear a ten-gallon hat to fit my ten-gallon head. Guess why I wear ten-gallon pants!'

'Everyone'll start calling you 'Coyote' after you've met me, cuz you'll be howlin' all night on the prairie'

'The Pony Express wants to ride up your dress, and the Pony Express never fails!'

Hot diggety dog, goblin pardner sheriff.

The next poster would like to thank the masked gobbo.

I ride an Old Gob,
They're cheaper than ponies,
I'se herding wild garlic
With a greengrocer named Tony.

His name is Goatrum!
He is a Toucher!
All his friends
They call him Goat (Hi, Goat!)
He 'performs'
In Copenhagen
With several rhinos and a stoat.

He's winsome Goaty T.
His slopes are thick with scree (etc.)...

"You should have paid the 100 dollar, Frank Tanner"

Today's Hallowe'en Count at work:

1 x sexey demon
1 x (verey) sexey catwoman
1 x Polish man in a rubber ghoul mask
1 x Lonesome Cowboy, with a cake tin on his head as they'd run out of hats.

Yippie ki-oh-ki-ay.

Fallout New Vegas is one of the single best video games of all time.

Can't listen to the radio anymore though.

Hot digitty doggy dog style, yes it is, pardner buddy.

Reinstalled it last week, jest so I can shoot ancient Romans, home on the range.

EDIT: Yee Haw.