"Glitch"'s page

As the camera pans by Glitch, his muppeteer farts audibly.

Glitch takes the blades of the fallen amazons, mashes them together with Helga’s hammer, and sprinkles Monkey Dust on the contraption..!

Secret Eng: 2d6 + 1 ⇒ (5, 1) + 1 = 7
The Time Scissors are a special blade than can cut a hole through time.
• The flaw is that f~%$ing with time is actually not helpful at all because it just makes the villain someone else’s problem. That and you might accidentally cut a hole in the fabric of time just from waving the sword around, and end up time-warping a pterodactyl or pirate or disco dancer into the scene. And we wouldn’t want THAT shart-stain on our sure-to-be-Tolkienesque masterpiece, now would we?

“Gli-Glitch,” the monkey solemnly says to the young queen.

A scene of Glitch diving on top of the pile was cut. A muppeteer was fired.

“G, Glitch!” the monkey says in agreement from atop Goran’s bicep.

Glitch pokes his head out of the pile of women, eyes shifting from one mound of cleavage to another, giving each a lecherous grin of approval.

Next to Glitch are Ur’Gak’s boots. It’s unclear from this camera angle whether the actor is buried under these ladies or next to them.

“GLIGLIGLIIIIIIIH!!!!!”

The monkey bites the goblin’s wing while pulling the other with both hands! He jumps up and down on the goblin’s back, forcing a crash landing!

Violence, fwd: 2d6 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (5, 4) + 2 + 1 = 12
• the target is knocked down, terribly harmed, and it’s messy!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Brooke’s chemistry with a muppet earns her a guest spot on the Muppet Show. In one skit, she hosts a muppet tossing competition at a dive bar as the tosser. Kermit is declared the winner for being tossed the furthest through a closed window, much to the wakka-wakkaing delight of Fozzy Bear. The heckling old men give mixed reviews, but that is another story…

“Gli, gli, gli. G-glit, gl-glit-itch,” the monkey explains as he takes a piece of the ashen throne’s arm rest, a chunk of broken wall, seven and a half curtain rings, and a coffee cup that was accidentally left on a table because the entire film crew couldn’t thought styrofoam cup looked like a bronze goblet from somewhat-afar.

Secret Eng., fwd: 2d6 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (5, 6) + 1 + 1 = 13
• It actually works!

The final piece of his contraption is the crown. He places it on Hanna’s head.

Glitch covers his eyes.

“…IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!!!”

“GLIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…”

Glitch points to himself? “Gli, gluh?”

The monkey tries to help call to the Queen Mother.

“Gli-GLIH… Gli-GLIH?”

The sneeze blows a few more loose blue hairs off of Glitch.

“♥️Mm-wah!♥️”

Glitch gives Hanna an earful. “GLIGLIGLI-GLGLGLITCH, GL-GLIGLIT, GLI GLITCH!!”

As Hanna holds Glitch overhead, there is a roar of approval from the men, including some of the surviving enemies and one guy who’s supposed to be dead. (Those actors just got caught up in the moment.) The monkey yells, “GLI-GLI-GLI-GLI-GLI-GLI-GLI-GLI!!” And the men cheer with marginally increased enthusiasm!

“. . . .”

“Gli-GLI-glitch?” Glitch asks Hanna as he pulls up a horse for her to mount.

Glitch mounts the riderless horse and has it trot toward the princess. He seems oblivious to the danger and death happening as the camera is on him.

The monkey clinging to Hanna’s back screams at her as they soar through the air!

“GLI-GLI-GLITCH, GLI-GLITCH!!”

As Hanna’s fingers cling to the opposing cliff’s edge, Glitch scampers up her head and arms, leaving the princess dangling as he diddles about the bottom of a Giant Bluewood tree. He knows of the Mushbooms that grow her, so he plucks a red mushboom, a yellow mushboom, and not one but two blue mushbooms. It is just the right amount to blow shit up!

Musssssssssshhhhhhhhhh…
B-B-BOOOOOOOOOOM!!

The bluewood topples, forming a bridge for others to ride across!

Secret Eng.: 2d6 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (2, 3) + 1 + 1 = 7
Flaw - it won’t last. Director’s call whether it’s too short or too long!