Fineos NPC's page

"Yes lull your opponent into a false sense of security...."

"Hmmm... yes, I suppose parlaying would have that advantage. Good idea!"

"...with obviously competent warriors with a God behind them ..."

"Bah! They worship a god of thunder and lightning. They only care about smiting things! They have destroyed so much... King Alexander, on the other hand, is a great builder! This pyramid itself was built by his decree! Choose a god if all you want to do is smash things... but the King stands for civilization!"

"For all we know Fineous's king is a dirty sock he keeps in his back pocket that he places upon his own hand to issue royal decrees."

"That is an outrage! Such talk is treason! Alexander is the greatest king that ever lived!"

"Besides that, I don't have any socks. At the moment. Or pockets, for that matter."

Fineos looks down at his ragged clothing somewhat dejectedly, then quickly brightens up. "But... the royal tailors are making a wondrous suit of clothes for me, which should be ready any day now. Then I shall be a sight to behold!"

Levels his sword at the "frogman"as he steps forward, I would shut your trap, before I make it permanently shut. With his shield he gestures to the fallen men, There are dead here that fought bravely, unlike you spinless self who can only run your mouth.

"Don't even think it, young man. Great punishments await those who harm the King's personal retainers. And besides, I am the King's Minstrel. I am supposed to sing! I doubt you would have had the courage to face so many enemies were it not for my inspiring songs!"

"Unfortunately, our attack was not as successful as I had hoped and I believe will make parlaying with them difficult at best. What can you tell us about them?" he says turning to Fineos.

"I can tell you that there's no point in parlaying with them, if that's what you are asking. You could get confused, and in a moment of weakness make the mistake of promising to let them live. Then you have to figure out whether there's some way to weasel out of what you promised, or whether you just have to break your word."

"But those ones serve some fusty old god. They are mad! They actually think that this god of theirs is more important than the king. Can you believe that?"

"Are you sure none of you has poison gas? Maybe if we pour flaming oil under the door..."

Aye but who will teach me Human. The elf? then very softly

Maybe this mad frogman?

"Ah, you have but to ask! I will be happy to teach the military arts to a novice like yourself! Such skills would be valuable for those in service to the king."

Fineos produces a small knife, with a notched and likely dull blade. He holds it out like an epee.

"Hold your weapon like it is as light as a feather. Movement is the key; your weapon should dance! It's all in the wrists. Force your enemy to concentrate on it, like he will never know where you will strike next!"

Fineos waves his little knife around in the air and dances around - though he looks more like an orchestra conductor than a duelist.

"Then, when your enemy is befuddled by your amazing finesse..."

Fineos suddenly tries to kick Ferrous between the legs.

19 - 1d20 ⇒ 19 - (13) = 6

But Ferrous steps easily to the side, and Fineos' foot connects with nothing but air. He flies ass-over-teakettle and lands on his posterior.

"ouch."

He gets up slowly, his knees creaking. He rubs his back as he straightens out.

"I meant to do that."

"Well done, friends!" Fineos simes and claps, and goes around patting people on the back. "These seven rebels will trouble the kingdom no more. They got better than they deserved."

He looks at the door sternly. "Now we have them trapped in this room! All we need to do is put some poison gas under the door and kill them like rats! Do any of you have poison gas? I'm afraid I'm all out."

"All hail the mighty king,"
"The one with the enormous thing,"
"He justice, health, and fortune brings,"
"and from the noose his enemy swings!"

@Fineos "You are as bad as they with this madness to fight."

Nods, perhaps Fineos you should duel the leader.. either that or shut your trap, people are dead or wounded here.

"Well I never!"

"One does not tell the King's chosen minstrel to 'shut his trap!' If you wish silence, then be silent. And no need for me to step in and help you with that fight there; you are doing just fine. You just need to have more confidence. Allow my music to inspire you."

"And I'm afraid there's no cure for their madness. It is a mercy to put them down."

Seeing the grievous wound, Drop you weapon, live to fight another day for a better cause!

"Yes! That's a good trick! If they drop their weapons we can slaughter them all easily!"

Fineos continues to caper with glee.

"See the Gormish Brothers run!"
"We'll slit their noses just for fun!"
"You traitors now feel justice's sting,"
"For now you die, in the name of the King!"

Fineos continues to sing in his croaking, out-of-tune voice.

"Yes, you can run but you can't hide,"
"Keep running 'till you're out of breath,"
"But we'll search the world for far and wide,"
"We'll surely find you and give you death!"

Drop your weapons and yield! Your leader is down, let us talk before more bloodshed is split!.

"Yes!" Fineos shouts. "If you surrender we will show you the mercy of a quick death! Which is more than you rebels deserve! Resist and you will be flayed alive!"

"Will they dance at the end of a noose?"
"Cut their belly, let their innards loose!"
"Drive red-hot nails into their eyes!"
"The reward for rebellion is such a great prize!"

Fineos jumps up and down, squeezing his concertina and producing random notes.

"Ha! You laughed at me, but who's laughing now! Ha ha ha hah!"

"That's me laughing, by the way. Hah!"

"Fineos! We should have killed you last time! This time we won't show you mercy!" One of the men shouts in anger.

"Eeep!"

Fineos darts for safety behind Talikshim.

Fineos capers with glee as the men go down.

"See the Brothers drop like rocks!"
"We'll crush their heads with big hard knocks!"
"And since they all have got the pox,"
"We'll drop their pants and chop off their -"

"AHA!" Fineos shrieks, and he points at the man in the mask. "Foul rebels! Your time has come! I told you that you would pay for mocking me! Prepare to meet your doom!"

He turns to the party.

"Get them! Attack! In the name of the King!" he shouts.

"Bees knees?"

"'Bees Knees!' Yes, that's good. I'll use that next time."

Fineos continues to caper around, now celebrating the party's victory.

"The army of bees should take to the trees.
We'll chop off their knees and ignore their pleas!
The rebellious bees wish they could freeze
the pain that does seize their bodies with ease!"

Fineos continues dancing and singing and playing his concertina as the group moves around and returns to the jail to try and open the barred door.

"We'll smash the rebels, yes we will, oh-ho, oh-ho!
Of their loot we'll take our fill, let's go, let's go!
The King'll reward us yes indeed, all right, all right!
For saving the land in its hour of need, we fight, we fight!"

Fineos provides accompaniment to the discussion.

"Fimbletoe, fumbletoe, which way to go?
Mackaroo, hackaroo, what should we do?
Callago, shallago, how can we know?
Flip a coin in the air, it always speaks true!"

Zynazyr looks quizzically at the lizard. "How did you get in here? Someone's pet maybe?"

"The rebels have let loose all manner of creatures," Fineos says sagely, "in the hopes of spreading chaos. They have no morals."

"Quake with fear you rebel fools!
bow before Alexander's rule!
You cannot run you cannot hide
your entrails will be boiled or fried!"

Fineos seems to be in a very good mood now that you are moving.

No, let us clear the door behind us first... best not to leave any potential rebel scum at our backs He studies the doors, Besides I think this one point to his right, leads back to the room with the tubes. He turns to Fineos A bit of a delay I assure you, but the rebel scum must be dealt with, no?

Fineos shrugs.

"Which rebels get it first doesn't matter to me... they are all scum, like you say!"

"Hmmm... that gives me an idea for a song..."

He starts playing the battered concertina again and begins to dance and sing.

"Deal with the rebel scum, / twiddle fiddle foo"
"kick them in the bum! / wibble pibble poo."
"Squash them like little gnats, / riddle middle mee"
"they're no better than filthy rats! / jibble fibble fee "

His singing is just as bad as his playing but he compensates by being loud.

"Beyond this door is another, which I jammed shut with a bit of wood. The rebels had released some creatures in there to hunt me and I needed to keep them out of this wing. We need to get past them to get further down in the pyramid."

"Speak more of these rebels, who leads them? What do they want?"

Bah who cares what the want its my steel they'll get.

Fineos nods. "The bearded one has the right of it. They defy the lawful order, that's all that matters. They are all fools and liars and madmen. But there is no leader, or perhaps I should say there are many leaders, and the rebels don't all get along. But they all deny the rule of King Alexander."

"Perhaps we could help you quell the rebellion?" Ana asks.

Aye I be in the mood for some quelling meself, elf.

"Wonderful! I am sure the King will be grateful for any help in this dark time. There is so much trouble though, one would be at a loss as to where to start."

Fineos, I saw a waterskin there. Might I have a drink? My throat is quite parched and we have no water remaining being outside for so long.

Fineos puts his hand on his waterskin for a moment, but hesitates.

"Ah, yes. Well..."

Reaction: 2d6 ⇒ (5, 2) = 7

"It has been a while since I filled it... the rebels have cut off my access to water. I have been holding out for the king's servants to arrive with supplies. Perhaps we could trade for some food? Just to tide me over until the king's men arrive, of course. I'll give you half of what I have for a full day's rations?"

When Ferrous points out the waterskin, his eyes widen. "But more importantly, where can we find more?"

"There are many fountains in the courtyard of the King's palace. It is truly a wonder! Once we reach it you can fill your waterskins to your hearts' content. We may have to get by the rebels to reach it though."

All in good time. he says in response to the frogman's question. He gestures down the hall, What should we expect to find down this hallway, and what do you know of your next door neighbor?. The latter is said while pointing to the next door as he steps ahead of Taklishim.

Fineos shrugs.

"I don't think anyone is in there," he says. "There's certainly been no noise coming from there. I had planned to use that room to house my servants when they arrive."

He looks further down the hall.

"As to down there, bah! More rebels. They have no respect for the law or for the arts. Some of the rebels have even taken to releasing wild creatures into the halls to foment chaos. There's a door on the right down the hall that I managed to block to prevent such creatures from coming this way. It was quite clever of me, actually."

"The wastes are vast for certain, but in truth I was born in a forest far from here, we have not been away from the city we have yet to tread there, might you show us the way?"

"Ah, I understand. They say that if you stay out in the sun long enough it addles your wits. Hmm... the trees you saw are called a mirage. You must have been out there a long time if you thought they were your home. There are no actual trees left in the world, aside from the bleak scrubby things that can survive the hot sun."

"But don't worry... now that you are back home I am sure things will start to come back to you."

"In the meantime, I would be happy to show you around! Perhaps we should go to King Alexander's throne room! You will never see a more wondrous chamber."

Fineos gets up and collects his things. You note that among them is a waterskin that looks partly full. There is also half of the body of a dead giant centipede on a stick, which it looks like he has been cooking with his candle. He throws this in a small sack.

"Shall we go?"

These servants wouldn't happen to be oh about yay tall... he says and gestures to about goblin height, And in goblin masks?

"Oh, gods, no. Who would wear a goblin mask? No loyal citizen, that's for sure."

"We are not rebels, mighty one," Ana says. "We are explorers."

We be neither Rebels nor Ghosts you damnable fools. We are caravan guards nothing more or less.

"Truly we are from the wastes above lost from a caravan we seek pure water for our group."

Fineos looks at each of you in turn.

"Caravan guards or explorers? Well, it's rather foolish being a caravan guard now that there are no more caravans."

"But explorers? Were you sent out to see if there was anything left outside? It would explain how your skin got so burnt, but anyone could have told you that it was a fool's errand. The wastes are endless. Though I respect you for trying."

"You must have been away from the city for a long time if you don't know the state of things now."

Does this great King Alexander have plenty of food and water? Because that is what we seek noble Bard-Frog.

"Indeed! In fact, the king's servants have prepared a marvellous supper for me and are on their way now to bring it to my chamber! It should be here any moment. You are welcome to join me! There is always more than enough."

A king you say? Sounds like a worthy one to pledge one's sword to.

"Indeed he is! The finest king Cynidicea has ever had! Or will ever have, I imagine. He and his Queen Zenobia rule the city with benevolence and wisdom. He had this pyramid built to safeguard the culture and history of our great city!"

Bing! 50 bonus XP for finding out the name of the city.

Tell me more, and who are these rebellious scum!?

"When the demonic horde came from the north and laid waste to the land, many of the people thought that worshipping chaos was the only way to survive, despite the fact that King Alexander in his wisdom had built a safe refuge for the people underground, and thus saved the people. Now only a handful of loyalists remain, and the city is plunged into madness. Even the old faiths have fallen away from their loyal place."

"This chamber is the highest in the pyramid, and was granted to me by the king himself! It is a great honor!"

He looks around. "I suppose it has seen better days though. This damned rebellion. Chaos is their only master, and they seek to tear down all! The same for me; I have found myself woefully mistreated by the rebels, despite my station. I have done the best I can with what I have."

He looks the party over.

"You don't look like the typical band of rebels. Who are you anyway? Are you ready to accept King Alexander as your lawful Sovereign?"

The man stops dancing. He seems surprised.

"Very well. You came to the right man, actually. I am Fineos, chief minstrel to the court of King Alexander himself."

He bows deeply. Sadly thanks to his torn clothes this exposes his buttocks to the air. Thankfully he does not remain in that pose for long.

He stands again, and puffs out his chest a bit.

"Therefore, if you lay down your arms I will pardon your rebellion - the king will honor such a promise. The king trusts my judgement. I am the most favored of all his servants!"