Dirch's page

So, this is our party composition so far:

Doug: Monk
Topher: Rogue
Bernie: Some diplo/skill class (probably)
Simon: ?
Chuck: ?

Simon, what are you thinking of playing?

I'm still trying to figure out who I want to play. Probably either a tanky paladin type or a grandmotherly caster type (surprise, surprise...)

-C

PFS#87294-4

Diplomacy for Faction Mission: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (4) + 10 = 14

Reroll Diplomacy for Faction Mission: 1d20 + 10 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 10 + 2 = 27

Horrified by the botched 1049 forms, Dirch curls up into PTSD ball as he recalls his terrible nightmare.

Would you say the adventure is one of these?

Convince an NPC to work as a Pathfinder Society contact, or convince a disaffected agent to work with the Society again.
This requires a successful Diplomacy or Knowledge (local) check with a DC equal to 15 + your character level.

Job Check (accounting): 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (7) + 4 = 11
Dirch fills out 1049 forms for everyone's treasure.

Diplomacy Aid: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (6) + 10 = 16

Gosh, Miss Grave Treader, ma'am, Sorrina Westyr sure is worried about you. She would be glad to see you

The Geb State Varsity Ladies Volleyball team runs past the confused Jathune and tackles the confused Pamari.

Varsity Volleyball Grapple: 1d20 + 4 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (19) + 4 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 2 = 37

Meanwhile, Dirch holds to see if Jathune and/or the kitty cause anymore trouble.

Oh. You're right. The just read summary text, which says, "Target: you and touched objects or other touched willing creatures." So, I thought it was any creatures touching me. Ok. Will redo.

Kitty Question: What special defenses or resistances does it have?

Dirch d-doors with Zirt and Myra. Myra attempts a grapple on Pamari.

Grapple Check: 1d20 + 4 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 4 + 2 = 12

The rest of the volleyball team appears 40' away from Dirch's original position and moves 30'.

My apologies for moving on the map without explanations. Yesterday, I was up early to change and feed the baby, and afterwards tried to put together a post. But in the middle of that, I started losing coherence, and couldn't decide everyone's actions. So, I passed out instead.

Dirch 5' steps to get away from the cat.

Number of Augmented Skeletons: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

4 skeletons in Geb State Varsity Ladies Volleyball jackets appear. Their athletic shoes and knee pads color coordinate with the Geb State Red & Black.

Brooke! Myra! Jackie! Deb! Thank Abadar you're here. We got an Archie. Quick! Go to a 4-22 play!

The volleyball team groans a cheer as Dirch casts Dimension Door. At the last second, he grabs Zirt.

Appearing next to Pamari, the 4 skeletons' practical shoulder length pony tails swing as the skeletons look around and spot Pamari. They immediately tackle and grapple the caster.

The skeletons have the Coordinated Maneuvers feat through Dirch's Charnel Soldiers and Coordinated Maneuvers feats

Myra (M on the map) initiates the grapple, assisted by her undead team.

The intent of the grapple is to restrain Pamari, so that she can't cast, but also isn't harmed.

Grapple Check: 1d20 + 4 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 4 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 2 = 24

Knowledge (Planes) for the Kitteh: 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (4) + 12 = 16

Reflex Save: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12

Dirch invisibly beats out the fire on his hair and clothing, and then starts casting Summon Monster 3.

In the next round, can I move before I select where the summoned creatures appear?

c"Oh, if you don't want to trade, and you're just going to insult us, I guess I got the wrong idea about you folks."

Dirch Casts Greater Invisibility on himself and backs away 30 feet.

Next round he'll begin summoning undead, but he wants to get somewhere safe first.

Say, do you have a Plane of Earth version of Ho Ho's? Or maybe Ding Dong's?

Before going into the encounter, Dirch casts Mage Armor and Defending Bone.

Sense Motive: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (9) + 0 = 9

Really? Tea? That sounds nice. Say, I never did get anything back for trading my pudding cup. Do you have any snacks from the Plane of Earth that I can take back for my boss? Anything will do. Mr. Bundesheim seems to like everything.

Dirch double moves to the stone seats.

It turns out that lightning mephitis are a 3rd party thing. So, I'm switching to lantern archons

Number of Lantern Archons: 1d3 ⇒ 3

3 lantern archons surround the remaining mecha-xorn, each 10' away, in the air.

They each shoot 2 rays of light

light ray (vs. ranged touch): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (12) + 3 = 15
dmg (bypasses all DR): 1d6 ⇒ 1
light ray (vs. ranged touch): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (14) + 3 = 17
dmg (bypasses all DR): 1d6 ⇒ 6

light ray (vs. ranged touch): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (17) + 3 = 20
dmg (bypasses all DR): 1d6 ⇒ 3
light ray (vs. ranged touch): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (3) + 3 = 6
dmg (bypasses all DR): 1d6 ⇒ 5

light ray (vs. ranged touch): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (8) + 3 = 11
dmg (bypasses all DR): 1d6 ⇒ 5
light ray (vs. ranged touch): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (6) + 3 = 9
dmg (bypasses all DR): 1d6 ⇒ 2

Meanwhile Dirch finally uses his Knowledge (Engineering) check of 24 to assist Grave Treader.

If you do full withdraw, try to get the mecha-xorns to form a line for the lightning bolt and/or close enough for a 15' cone (and don't be in the line or the cone)

Dirch pales as he witnesses the heavy damage that the mecha-xorns inflict.

Why didn't these crazy people just follow Sorrina Westyr's directions and go back as soon as we found Grave Treader???

Dirch starts summoning a lightning mephit.

Hold on you guys! Play tough defense! I'm summoning my lightning mephit.

My plan is to summon a lightning mephit, which can cast lightning bolt and has a lightning breath weapon. You may want to full withdraw from the mecha-xorns.

Dirch 5 foot steps to Zirt and Benedict, grabs them, and casts Dimension Door to assist Grave Treader.

Ma'am? Sir? Would you mind coming with me?

Knowledge (Engingeering): 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (12) + 12 = 24
Knowledge (Arcana): 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (17) + 15 = 32

Dirch will go ahead and roll his knowledges. When it's his turn, he'll move to assist Grave Treader.

We haven't figured out the shaft and winch yet. I kind of feel like it's there first for a reason. Should we go back to it before entering the big chamber?

Also, there's the workbench. Should we put those parts together?

Knowledge(Engineering): 1d20 + 12 + 2 ⇒ (7) + 12 + 2 = 21
Perception: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (20) + 7 = 27
Appraise: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (10) + 15 = 25

Dirch is surprised by the ninja's compliment. Thank you, Mr. Kasuya, sir.

Dirch responds to the half-orc. Y-y-yes, sir. And, follows the half-orc to the rubble.

Dirch takes a look at the gears. This makes sense to me. The lowest gears on the gate have markings that look like the handles on the dials. And, I think we apply the sequence on the floor to these dials.

Mr. Mordenaar, sir? Would you operate the silver dial? And, Mr. Kasuya,would you operate the gold dial? And, Mr. Drizz'n, would you read off the sequence of the triangles on the floor?

Dirch looks down the shaft.

Perception: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (11) + 7 = 18

Suddenly, realizing that he's by himself, Dirch goes to the Warpriest. There is security standing next to a big half-orc. Dirch joins Ebonwolf in studying the dial.

Knowledge (Eng): 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (14) + 12 = 26

Knowledge (Arcana): 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (19) + 15 = 34
Knowledge (Religion): 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (2) + 15 = 17
Knowledge (Engineering): 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (20) + 12 = 32
Gosh, you guys, these workshop tables hold parts for a three-armed and three-legged construct, just like those on the temple walls! Maybe we oughta put it together?

Hm. Do you guys see any traps?
Perception: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (19) + 7 = 26

Knowledge (Engineering): 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (1) + 12 = 13
Gee, this winch is really complicated.

Dirch casts Mage Armor and Defending Bone on himself.

Knowledge (Religion): 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (2) + 15 = 17

Dirch pales as he realizes that these crazy people are going into the Gate. He panics and regrets not contacting Mr. Bundesheim sooner.

Dirch thinks back to his Religion classes, and can't recall a Temple of Brigh.

Dirch pulls out his wand of Spectral Hand and prepares to cast Greater Invisibility for when the group escapes the camp.

Now that we're here, can we rest up and spend the night? Dirch could use some Lesser Resto and some healing.

Sense Motive: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (5) + 0 = 5

Young Dirch cheerily assumes the best in people, and believes every word of Grave Treader.

Being the knowledgeable guy he is, Dirch would like to do a knowledge check on the Clockwork Cypher, Jathune, and the Sundered Stone. What knowledges, if any, are appropriate?

Howdy, Grave Treader. My name's Dirch. I'm pleased to meet you. We've been looking for you. Sorrina Westyr sent us to bring you back.

And now, I can go back and tell Mr. Bundesheim about this crazy accounting mission! Hopefully, he won't be too mad at me. Oh, yeah, I'm supposed to trade those guys for my pudding cup. What's yummy that I can take back from the Plane of Earth?

Diplomacy: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (10) + 10 = 20

Dirch speaks Terran also

Howdy, folks. My name's Dirch. Gosh, I know all about mean bosses. My boss, Mr. Bundesheim, is going to be so mad at me. Geez, I'm in so much trouble. But, you know what always helps? If Mr. Bundesheim has something to eat, he's way more understanding and nice. So, I'm bringing back some nice treats from the Plane of Earth, you know, stuff that's hard to get back home. You folks want to trade? I got a chocolate pudding cup that has a Taldan vanilla wafer in it. I bet your boss never had that on the Plane of Earth.

Ref: 1d20 + 3 + 2 ⇒ (9) + 3 + 2 = 14
Con Dmg: 1d3 ⇒ 1
Fire dmg nonlethal: 4d6 ⇒ (3, 6, 1, 6) = 16

Appraise: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (3) + 15 = 18
Dirch appraises the gold. Takes a couple of nuggets. Fills out a income declaration form, files it away in his backpack.

As Dirch is jumping from rock to rock, he is startled by a blast of fire. As he falls, he gets a blast of poisonous gas in his face. He splutters.

Agh! I got in my mouth!

He quickly washes his mouth out with water, and wearily looks up the trail.

Uh. I want to make haste. But, the lady asked to be put in a grave. Can we take the time to do that for her and her companions? If we are rushed for time, I can summon help.

Dirch can cast Skeleton Crew, which is a 4th level spell, or a generic summon monster, say level 2, to have a couple of extra hands.

Dirch sets down his backpack and pulls out a trumpet of spirit speaking, a cheerleader's megaphone with the Geb State Shamblers mascot printed on the side.

We bring these to every game. That way our dead alums can cheer the team! And after the game, we can ask for donations, which are tax deductible, of course."

Dirch sets the megaphone to the lips of one of dead.

Is there an obvious leader or anything to put the trumpet to?

Excuse me, ma'am... or maybe sir. No offense. I can't really tell.
You kind of remind me of my cousin Pat. She was the same way. No one knew whether to call her ma'am or sir. That always made Pat laugh.

Anyways, my name's Dirch. I'm traveling with these nice folks, and we're looking for a a person named Grave Treader. We came across your caravan. Thought maybe we could of assistance. Do you know who attacked you, and why? And have you heard or seen Grave Treader?"

Dirch turns to the Xorn.

You mind if I take a look at those gems? I won't eat them or anything. I got a pretty good eye at appraising them, you know from doing inventory and all.

Appraise: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (19) + 15 = 34

Guys? I can speak with these nice dead people. Comes in real handy when adjudicating inheritance disputes. Shall I try to chat with one? We can ask 3 questions. What should we ask?

Gosh, it looks like people are hurt!

Dirch rushes heavily with his leaden gear. Checks to see if they're still alive.

Heal: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (5) + 0 = 5

Dirch is visibly struggling with the higher gravity.

Gee... this is just like when we'd go on away games. I'd bring in all the equipment. Those volleyballs and nets and uniforms and stuff were pretty heavy. I dropped it all only a couple of times.

Dirch waves at the Xorn and gives a friendly smile.

Hi, folks. We don't mean to intrude. Please, enjoy your snack. My mom, says that it's bad to eat in between meals, cause it makes you gain weight and stuff. But, you folks seems to be nice anyways, and it's what's on the inside that really counts. Right?

Diplomacy (Gather Info): 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (16) + 10 = 26
Knowledge (Planes): 1d20 + 12 ⇒ (1) + 12 = 13

Fort : 1d20 + 4 + 2 ⇒ (3) + 4 + 2 = 9

Diplomacy (Xorn) : 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (18) + 10 = 28

Topo says that he can post at least once a day. He's in Colorado, and plans to post in the evenings.

Startled by being acknowledged, Dirch looks up.

Handy? Sure, I can be real handy. I double majored in accounting and necromancy, so I'm real good at wills and estate planning.

And, everyone says my 1049 Forms are the best documented. Trust me. You really want your 1049 Forms to be well documented. I've seen it get bad. I mean, it was like, really, really bad. Dirch shudders and closes his eyes, as he traumatically recalls the nightmare.

Hi, All,

I'm looking forward to playing PbP for the first time. I've played a lot of F2F, but as Kevin, I mean, Drizz'n, said, we have a new baby girl, so I'm trying out PbP. Your pointers and advice are welcome.

I should also add that my brother, Topo, is on vacation this week. I don't know what his posting rate will be. I will text him and see if he's able to play at all this week.

Dirch sits away the group, backpack at his feet, shifting uncomfortably in his acolyte robes. His pimpled face looks around, trying to recognize someone, anyone, and wondering if he’s at the correct meeting.

Er… they don’t look like accountants. I’ve probably just been teleported to the wrong place. But my manager never told me what to do when this happens. Well, no problem. I’m sure these nice folks will help me out.

Uh. Hi, guys. My name’s Dirch.

His voice cracks, insecurely. Dirch looks around, hoping someone will tell him what to do.

Uh. This is my first job out of school. I wanted to study accounting, but my Dad told me that I should study Necromancy...

An awkward silence falls. Dirch glances around. Incredibly uncomfortable speaking in front of all these new people, Dirch searches for something else to say.

Uh. I was the manager for the Geb State Ladies Volleyball Team. Go Shamblers!

Dirch lifts his arm, expecting cheers from fellow alums. As he looks around, it dawns on him that maybe he’s not among Geb State fans. Are these Nex U. fans? Are they going to dunk me??

So, uh, anyways, I’m probably at the wrong meeting. I was sent here by the Grand Lodge to do an accounting of your inventory for the current fiscal year. So, if you nice folks will just point me to the warehouse, I’ll get to work.

Met with stares and silence, Dirch shrinks miserably back into his chair. I've definitely been teleported to the wrong place. How do I contact Mr. Bundesheim to tell him what's going on? Aw, geez... He's going to be so mad at me...

Uh... Hey, guys! Don't mind me. I hope I'm not interrupting anything.