Clippy's page

Hello. You seem to be trying to walk across this floor. Would you like some help with that?

You seem to be looking for a nutritious source of food. Would you like some help with that?

You seem to be trying to find, and demand restitution from, some birds who defecated on your car. Would you like some help with that?

You seem to be trying to acquire a cheese omelette. Would you like some help with that?

You seem to be trying to gather people to try my favourite MMORPG. Would you like some help with that?

You seem to be trying to employ violence. Would you like some help with that?

You seem to be trying to settle the flock hierarchy.

Would you like some help with that?

You seem to be trying to effect change in my configuration.

Would you... urk... like some... help with that?

You seem to be trying to get someone up from a well.

Would you like some help with that?

You seem to be searching for a squirrel.

Would you like some help with that?

You sm to hav takn crtain kys off my kyboard.

Would you lik som hlp with that?

You seem to have bad breath. Would you like some help with that?

You seem to be referring to roman numerals. Would you like some help with that?

You seem to be trying to win. Would you like some help with that?

*beepbeepbeepbeepBOOOOOPBOOOOOPBOOOOOPBOOOOOPbeepbeepbeepbeepbwiiiiiiipBWOR P!**

* = filty, filthy signal directed at That Damn Paper Clip

You seem to be trying to communicate. Would you like some help with that?

I bet 20 quatloos on R2-FU over Clippy.

You seem to be trying to improve your economic situation. Would you like some help with that?

shoves reams of paperwork into Clippy's overworked arms

Here, these souls need to be alphabetized and judged. And if I see you hanging out with the Night Hags or Daemons, you're fired, we run a tight ship here at The Boneyard. And I don't have time to micromanage every damn thing.

You seem to be trying to delegate tasks, improve worker loyalty, and deal with stress. Would you like some help with that?

You seem to be debating punctuation. Would you like some help with that?

You seem to be comparing numbers of message board aliases. Would you like some help with that?

You seem to be having an inflamed alignment debate thread. Do you need help with that?