Blacque Jacque Shellaccque's page

{slowly powers back up} Mon Dieu! How long were we offline?! Zis must've been ze work of zat lapin stupide!

NO SURPRISE: 9 OUT OF 10 COKE FANS STILL PREFER ANTHRAX COKE OVER REGULAR PEPSI
Sentient Coke Sludge now up 7 points over Walker in WI Gov race

5TH OUT OF 5 DENTISTS & 10TH COKE FAN CAUGHT, HIGH ON MOONPIES AND RC COLA; pg. 15, in Local Gossip

UNITED STATES EXTENDS SARCASTIC CONDOLENCES TO DOCTOR DOOM AFTER ALL OF HIS MOVIE PORTRAYALS
Scientists shocked by massive seismic readings, relieved it is only 300+ million Americans simultaneously Nelson Muntz-laughing

Uh oh, le retreat, RETREAT! {exits, stage right}

On the bright side though, zheir unconzciouznezz meanz I can relax. We Frenchies are alwayz a bit wary of ze bites of ze doggiez. Our naturally zucculent well-marbled flesh tends to be irreziztible to mozt animalz; we are like the Layz potato chipz, no?

Bonjour, Mizter Humpzee! I zink all ze poodlez are pazzed outz from the fumez from my outrageouzly ztinky feet.

[Communist League of Tampa:] "Weekend at Bernie's"

{lets self in} Ah, do not mindz me, I'm zust going zo move into ze living room and help annex it for ze Frenchiest Corgi-lonia.

{knocks on front door} Hello, it iz I, your gnu neyburr with ze outrageouz Frenchie aczent. I would like to borrow zome wine, and zome extra-stinky cheeze, and ze baguette, and put mayonnaize on your Frenchie fries, and hold ze strike on your front porch.