GM Badblood's Snarl of Koboldious Wisdom (Inactive)

Game Master Lance K

Yue Jin's day goes from bad to worst day ever as Kaidynn's arrow sinks into one of his lungs. The eccentric burueacrat falls face forward into the twisting grass.

Round 2!!! Fight!!!
Krall-3
Kaidynn-3
Demm
Yue Xin -16
Skyxa
Midnight
Jiang Fei
Gynnezz
Skithryx
Zheng

Bold may act!

Double Move to ridge.

Krall rushes forward looking to reach his foes but stops at the ridge.

With having Jiang Fei practically up in her face Skyxa takes a step back before readying another arrow and firing practically point-blank!

Attack vs. Jiang Fei (Longbow; Bless, IC, PB Shot): 1d20 + 5 + 1 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (12) + 5 + 1 + 1 + 1 = 20
Damage: 1d6 + 1 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 + 1 = 6

Midnight continues to sing to inspire her friends. She weaves a magic spell into her song, and Zheng finds himself overwhelmed (or at least almost overwhelmed) by the urge to laugh.

continuing inspire courage, casting Hideous Laughter. Save is DC 14

Hideous Laughter only has a range of 25 feet. If you moved up, you could get Jiang Fei with it. I'm going to assume that is an okay substitute in order to keep things moving.

Jiang Fei Will Save: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (15) + 5 = 20

Jiang Fei begins to chuckle unexpectedly, but manages to stifle the impulse to burst out laughing. She cries out in pain and a look of sadness is in her eyes as she steps forward to strike at Skyxa.

Flurry of Blows, Ogre Swings the club!: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12
blunt, non-lethal: 1d6 + 6 ⇒ (2) + 6 = 8

Flurry of Blows, Ogre : 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (19) + 3 = 22
blunt, non-lethal: 1d6 + 4 ⇒ (4) + 4 = 8

Skyxa, make a Fort DC 15 check or get pushed back 5 ft.

Round 2!!! Fight!!!
Krall-3
Kaidynn-3
Demm
Yue Xin -16
Skyxa -8
Midnight
Jiang Fei -6
Gynnezz
Skithryx
Zheng

Sorry, my last post wasn't the most descriptive one. I've been busy but I wanted to keep things moving. Just to be clear, Yue Xin (orange) is still down for the count, Skyxa's arrow just hit Jiang Fei (green) and Zheng (blue) has not been injured yet.

Fort (DC 15): 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (9) + 3 = 12

"Oof!"

Skyxa takes a nasty punch from Jiang Fei, enough to actually push her backward a bit.

"Ogre Smashes the Rock!" Jiang Fei shouts as she gives Skyxa a powerful shove backwards that almost knocks her unconscious.

Round 2!!! Fight!!!
Krall-3
Kaidynn-3
Demm
Yue Xin -16
Skyxa -8
Midnight
Jiang Fei -6
Gynnezz
Skithryx
Zheng

Sense Motive (DC 10): 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (20) - 1 = 19

"Oof...pulling your punches...appreciate it..." Skyxa huffs, still hurting from the punch but more so from simply having the breath knocked out of her than from any true injury.

Sense Motive: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 = 4

"Please no punch me, Jiang, Trying to save Yue's life!" Gynnezz yells as she runs up to get closer to Yue. Double move, unfortunately will have to wait to hopefully Stabilize Yue until next turn.

The bugtalker has her focus on Yue, even if her shield is out.

Seeing just about everyone converge on Jiang Fei, Skithryx drops his crossbow and joins the fray. Running up, he pulls out his sickle and points at Krall. "Stupid Ogre no match for smart Truebloods!"
________
Sickle (Flank, Readied, Dazzled, IC) vs Green: 1d20 + 5 + 2 - 1 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 5 + 2 - 1 + 1 = 81d4 - 1 + 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 + 1 = 1 Is one the loneliest number even when there are two of them?
Free action drop weapon, move 30ft, draw on the move, ready to strike with flank.

Jiang Fei easily dodges Skithryx's attack and Gynezz moves in to save Yue Xin. Zheng mutters something under his breath in Tien, then seeing the ridge he throws his guisarme like a javelin to the top of the hill and begins climbing.

Climb, Rapid: 1d20 + 2 - 5 ⇒ (3) + 2 - 5 = 0

A root snags the warriors foot and he almost tumbles back down to the bottom, but he manages to catch himself and drags himself to the top of the ledge. He made it to the top, but is covered in dirt and his polearm is lying at his feet.

Round 3!!! Fight!!!
Krall-3
Kaidynn-3
Demm
Skyxa -8
Midnight
Jiang Fei -6
Gynnezz
Skithryx
Zheng

Bold may act!!!

Though she knows it's not particularly practical, Skyxa can't help but feel obligated to drop her bow and draw out her mace. She then takes a step forward and attempts to crack Jiang Fei across the knees...but she too pulls her punch with the attack.

Attack vs. Jiang Fei (Light Mace; Bless, IC, NL): 1d20 + 2 + 1 + 1 - 4 ⇒ (15) + 2 + 1 + 1 - 4 = 15
Damage (Non-Lethal): 1d4 ⇒ 3

Blunt arrows. Buy blunt arrows if you make it back alive.

Kaidynn moves next to his paladin friend, drawing his rapier and cautiously attacking Jiang Fei!

Rapier, IC, Bless, Fighting Defensively: 1d20 + 6 + 1 + 1 - 4 ⇒ (4) + 6 + 1 + 1 - 4 = 8
piercing dmg, IC: 1d4 + 3 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 3 + 1 = 6

Shoulder to Shoulder, Fighting Defensively: AC 22

Skyxa, you're forgetting that inspire courage also increases weapon damage!

Jiang Fei easily dodges Kaidynn's attack but doesn't move out of the way fast enough to avoid Skyxa's blow to her knee.

"Owww, that hurt!" the martial artist cries out as she faces the paladin.

Round 3!!! Fight!!!
Krall-3
Kaidynn-3
Demm
Skyxa -8
Midnight
Jiang Fei -10
Gynnezz
Skithryx
Zheng

Bold is up!

Midnight moves over towards Zheng (double move) and continues singing.

Remembering the sign from Skithryx, he pivots back around to knock out Jiang Fei.

"Sorry master! Ogre bites his Master"

He opens his jaws activating his latent draconic power to send electricity coursing from tooth to tooth.

Bite: 1d20 + 7 + 2 + 1 ⇒ (17) + 7 + 2 + 1 = 27
Damage P & E): 1d4 + 1d6 + 1 ⇒ (1) + (5) + 1 = 7

Seeing the fight has left him behind, Demm rushed up to the others.

Double move

Krall electrocutes Jiang Fei, who is about to collapse from her wounds, backs up and fumbles a potion out of her belt pouch. She looks like she is no longer willing to fight. This leaves Zheng, who still needs to pick up his polearm and enter the fray.

Round 3!!! Fight!!!
Krall-3
Kaidynn-3
Demm
Skyxa -8
Midnight
Jiang Fei -17, staggered at 0
Gynnezz
Skithryx
Zheng

We could also call it at this point. Zheng is unlikely to do any real damage before you bring him down. Also pulling out that potion does provoke from some of you, but she is clearly surrendering, so up to you.

"You are beaten master. I expect more steamed buns for our mercy!" Krall says patting his stomach.

The bugtalker makes a few quick 'sewing' motions along with a few finger in front of mouth 'shh'ing sounds at Yue to finish her Stabilizing of the eccentric scholar before turning her attention to Zheng.

"Hatchling-minder Zheng. You do hatchling-minding good. Pathfinder Snarl needs many hatchling-minders. Hatchling go with. Money, honor, legend in Snarl. You do good there, learn more and explore! Please no fight, no want hurt you."

Diplomacy (or Aid another as clever): 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 = 22 Trying to talk down Zheng so we don't have to murder him. Given we've tried to do this before there may or may not be a bonus to this?

The defeated humans accept the Pathfinders' offer of surrender and return home dejected and empty handed. The rest of the journey back to Ashima is uneventful, but when they arrive back home Mai Chun is ecstatic to see that they have returned safely, triumphantly bearing the jeweled scroll case.

Mai Chun seems particularly interested in the phantom Song Rui. "Wow, an actual witness who was alive at the end of the Lung Wa Empire? What an amazing find! I will make an expedition out to interview her as soon as possible."

Smiling she says, "But first, we have a party to plan!"

The next night the whole village throws a jubilant feast for the kobold heroes, who are offered more fish stew and steamed buns than they could ever possibly eat. There is drinking and dancing long into the night and the celebrations finally peter out as the first rays of the sun begin to rise.

During the feast Mai Chun introduces the Pathfinders to a representative from the Sun Shogun. Dressed in a simple but well made garment of white and black, the official offers the group a case filled with magical talismans to bring back with them to the Pathfinder Lodge in Absalom.

Having made a good name for both the Pathfinder Society and kobolds everywhere, the group of plucky pint-sized reptilians make the long journey back to the Inner Sea, ready to begin their next adventure.

...who are offered more fish stew and steamed buns than they could ever possibly eat.

Demm hands his drink off to one of the others as he heads to the table. "Hold my beer."

The inquisitor pulls out a bowl and spoon and sets himself at the table.

Challenge ACCEPTED!

Having heard stories of the kobolds' unabating appetites, the people of Ashima set a mountain of food in front of Demm.

Alright, give me a Fort Save

"We did good," Skyxa remarks later, at the party. "Completed mission, didn't have to kill..." she pauses for a moment, silently recalling their adventures around the countryside, "...any people. Just possessed bears and flame creatures. Always a good thing."

When Demm heads over to the table, ready to accept the All-You-Can-Eat Challenge, Skyxa coughs and excuses herself from whatever conversation she might be involved in.

"Wanna watch this!"
______________

Thanks for running, GM!

"Oooh me too! Eating is something we don't have to hold back on!" Krall says taking a seat opposite of Demm.

Fortitude: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (8) + 3 = 11

However, his lack of chewing properly has him full rather quick. Still, with a full belly he happily lays back patting his stomach.

"Eating contests...you win even when you lose! *burp*"

The kobold eats scoop after scoop, sometimes not even stopping to chew. He waves his spoon at another pile, suggesting more be brought. After nearly a half hour, he slows down. It seems as if he is about to give up. His stomach gurgles and burbles as it expands well beyond what seems healthy, or even possible. A hand comes up to his mouth in a panic. The last bite may have proved to be the end of this challenge.

He sits quietly for a moment. Seconds tick by. The gathered crowd leans in, expecting failure.

In a sudden explosion of gas, "BUUUUURRRRRPPP!". Demm flashes a confident sneer of conquest. "Not today fleshies!"

With more space made available, the kobold continues to consume the mountain of food before him. Like the eroding wind of time, he cannot be stopped, bargained with or deterred.

Fort vs Food: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (7) + 3 = 10
Fort vs Food {GM Re-Roll: 1d20 + 3 + 1 ⇒ (19) + 3 + 1 = 23

"Bzzzk bbrrr bbbbbbnnn!" Gynnezz offers with a warning tone...

Ahh, saved your reroll for something important I see.

Demm methodically devours the mountain of food, making sure that he does not waste space on bread and filler and pacing himself so that he can eat as much as possible. The mountain begins to shrink and soon the whole village begins watching the little kobold put away an uncanny quantity of local delicacies. Pot after pot of seafood soup are emptied out and whole plates of stemmed buns and berry filled pastries vanish. Bets are placed and lost as he continues to eat and finally as the sun begins to glow over the horizon, the crowd lets out an anguished cry as Demm weakly holds up his hand in refusal of another platter of steamed prawns. Then the whole village begins to clap and cheer.

Legends will be told about this mysterious Pathfinder from the Inner Sea and his unquenchable appetite. For decades afterwards the people of Ashima beloved pets, prize livestock and even several babies are named Demm in honor of the ravenous reptoid. Centuries later the story morphs into a legend of a fearsome dragon with an endless appetite who saved the ancient town of Ashima, with most scholars attesting that this story is merely a folk tale started by bored villagers and some claiming that it was based on a real creature.

Alright, I think we will end it there. I don't think anyone is going to top Demm for this game.