ZZZ [Completed] DM Salsa Presents: A Dinner Party of Five (Inactive)

Game Master AdamWarnock

A cittern strums.

A sibiliant voice whispers in the air:

"They'd kill us all and resist magic. Nil, would you be a dear and stab them?"

Uses Mac-Fuirmidh Cittern to cast invisibility on Nilelane and give her a bardic inspiration die. Happy sneak attack time!

It didn't take much for the old bones to see things from Nestis' perspective, besides...a little music always made slaying more enjoyable.

Rapier: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (12) + 7 = 19
Rapier, adv: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (7) + 7 = 14
Dmg+Snk: 1d8 + 4 + 3d6 ⇒ (7) + 4 + (5, 3, 6) = 25

Bonus action Disengage, zip around tree to block line of sight.

Invisibility is concentration, so it drops on Nestis when he casts it on Nilelane.
Sorry Corso, but with Nestis action, the fight's coming even with that great roll. Don't worry, it won't go the waste.

Zayre and Dalzi snarl as they recognize the voice of Nestis, their former broodmate.

"The clanless worm is here! Show yourself Nestis! We shall bring you back for your punishment," Zayre says as he looks around while Dalzi prepares an attack for the first one to go after them.

Perception: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (12) + 2 = 14 Nope

Unfortunately for them, they do not see Nestis nor Nilelane before the latter stabs Zayre and leaves a hole in him. Sadly for the dead-looking drow, she finds herself facing two angry swordsmen, one of whom had been waiting for something like this.

Dalzi Attack (Sword): 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (7) + 6 = 13

Dalzi Attack (Bite): 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (13) + 6 = 19
Damage: 1d8 + 2 ⇒ (3) + 2 = 5

Dalzi Attack (Claw): 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (4) + 6 = 10

"Bleh, disgusting," Dalzi spits after tearing a chuck of rotting flesh free from the rogue as she tries to get away. "Do you ever bathe, softskin?"

Nilelane, give me a Charisma save, DC 15

Cha Save: 1d20 ⇒ 1

"Necrophagia is illegal, you know." she quips.

As Nilelane tries to back up, she trips and falls on her back.

Everyone's up!

No hurt my friends." Teegor says in his gruff baritone and moves up to engage the swordsmen. He focuses on the more wounded one. First, he targets the stranger's legs to unbalance him. Then, he tries to ventilate him with his spear.

bonus action flurry 1: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (10) + 8 = 181d6 + 5 ⇒ (2) + 5 = 7
bonus action flurry 2 (if advantage for prone): 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (8) + 8 = 161d20 + 8 ⇒ (5) + 8 = 131d6 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6
Spend 1 of 5 Ki. Whenever you hit with one of your Flurry of Blows attacks, you can impose one of the effect on that target: fall prone if it fails a DEX saving throw (DC 13)

Attack spear 1 (if advantage for prone): 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (3) + 8 = 111d20 + 8 ⇒ (4) + 8 = 121d8 + 5 ⇒ (6) + 5 = 11
Attack spear 2 (if advantage for prone): 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (16) + 8 = 241d20 + 8 ⇒ (6) + 8 = 141d8 + 5 ⇒ (4) + 5 = 9

Did my first attack not do the 25 damage?

Making a mental note of the derision, Nilelane loses herself in the trees...only to reappear in a totally different location, feeding a wicked arrow down her bow sights on the one still standing...

Thanks to Nestis mentioning it, she recalls the legend of an illithid who used to throw darts in Underdark bars using his telekinetic thrusts. Legend had it as the flayer became more and more intoxicated, the lazier were his mental influences. In the end, instead of moving the darts with his mind he simply created a Microcosm where he was always the victor, ensnaring his opponent in the fabricated reality for all eternity. Nilelane always thought that was pretty funny, and likewise imagined her success with this shot...

Hide: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (3) + 10 = 13
Bow: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (7) + 7 = 14
Bow, adv if hide success: 1d20 + 7 + 1d8 ⇒ (9) + 7 + (5) = 21 Using bardic inspiration
Dmg+Snk: 1d6 + 4 + 3d6 ⇒ (4) + 4 + (2, 4, 4) = 18

"Nil, let's show these tasteless worms!", quips Nestis as he strums some more.

Breaking invisibility will be worth it to see these two dead!

Bardic inspiration die for Nilelane. Targeting the less injured foe with Heat Metal. If he's wearing metal armour then that, otherwise his weapon.

"Now, how is that necessary? Will someone explain?!" exclaims Corso.

He fuels his anger at the two ruffians who seem so eager to stab his cooking partners, lighting them up with a fiery outline.

Cast Faerie Fire on both: Dex DC 14 or others get advantage on attacks.

Nilelane, you did the damage, they just have a bunch of HP.

Mark? You still with us?

I am. Looks like this is another post that got eaten yesterday.

Mark gestures and a beam of cold shoots out at one of the men.

Spell Attack: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (9) + 5 = 14
Advantage if appropriate: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (13) + 5 = 18
Damage Roll: 2d6 ⇒ (2, 4) = 6 If I hit, he'll have disadvantage on his first attack.

Events quickly head south for the strangers. Nilelane puts an arrow into one of their arms before he has to drop his now orange hot sword with a curse of pain. The other gets knocked to the ground by Teegor and clipped in the ribs by the bugbear's flashing spear.

"We won't forget this," Zayre, the one on the ground, screams as he scrambles to his feet and runs for his life.

"Your days are numbered softskins! Better sleep with an eye open while you're with Nestis," Dalzi, the one nursing a charbroiled hand spits before following his companion, just barely ducking Mark's bolt of cold as he does so.

Enemies withdraw and run like the chickens they are. Combat is over unless you want to give chase.

"Remember it, write it down, make a quick sketch. Who gives a f@#k? You come back and you'll just be picking your face up off the ground again!"

Nilelane's first instinct was to just kill them, but she didn't bother. Her biter probably had contracted a dozen various pathogens, and that was sweeter vengeance anyways.

"Hear that? Our days are numbered. We better hurry and get those plums..." she drones sarcastically.

"AHAHAHAHA! Some hunter, with a scorched paw!", laughs Nestis out loud.

Vicious Mockery

Scorched-hand guy needs to make a Wisdom DC 16 save or take:

Psychic Damage: 2d4 ⇒ (1, 2) = 3

Corso, arms akimbo, watches them run away with a satisfying look.

He then turns to Nestis: "It sounded as though you knew each others..." he says, half asking.

"Yes. They're hunters from my old clan. They're sore losers. As they implied themselves about a "case of dead", I wasn't kidding about them being fine with killing us all. It's unfortunate that they've gotten away. They'll want vengeance."

"Anyway! Let's get rolling to these plums."

Mark spits and says "f@#kin' a@#holes." he then starts walking towards the plums.

After Dalzi and Zayre run, you all here a small, timid voice call out from behind a nearby tree.

"Is it over," Elandria asks.

After another hour of travel, you find yourselves entering a magnificent grove. The colors are brighter, the air crisper, and even the darkening sky is more vibrant here. Corso finds his missing scouts all lounging in the branches, bellies full to bursting. Fruit trees and berry bushes of every variety can be found here, and the smell is intoxicating. It's difficult to keep your heads as you go deeper and deeper into the grove.

Then you spot it, the very thing you have come to collect, plums glistening like gemstones. Their color is such a rich purple that these can only be the Amethyst Plums that have caused you to travel nearly five hours out of your way.

What do you do? Also, I'll need you to roll a WIS save if you try to pick one of the fruits.

Mark just walked straight towards the tree and...

Wis Save: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3

The focus of his life is now within sight. Teegor approaches a tree and starts to harvest.
Wisdom: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7

Corso goes to his flock and asks them about their day, their nice meal, and what is going on in this grove.

Nestis confidently strides towards the tree, planning to snag these gorgeous plums.

Wisdom Save: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (16) + 2 = 18

Totally Human Advantage versus magical effects and spells: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 = 4

Nilelane? Are you doing anything?

Nilelane does another one of her sick contortions where the bones inside her rotting flesh seem to ignore the usual angular constraints of the tendons which no longer exist. Her body stretches upwards almost another new foot to reach the god-forsaken fruit.

Wis: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (1) + 2 = 3

The only thing Corso can get out of the pigeons he's sent to scout is the dreamy phrase, "Such a lovely place."

The rest of you reach up for the plums and feel the surprisingly smooth and cool skin of the fruit as your fingers wrap around them. A thrill runs through you as you pluck them from the trees, and is immediately marred by tiny, high-pitched snickers of amusement coming from everywhere. You blink, and you see what has really happened.

Mark holds aloft the belt that was holding his pants up. Teegor has somehow picked up a brightly blushing Elandria by her ankle as she tries desperately to preserve some of her dignity with her hands holding up her dress. Nilelane staggers a bit as she sees things from two wildly different angles. In her hand is one of her eyes.

The only one who has actually picked a plum is Nestis, who is booed from all angles.

What do you do?

Nestis displays a wide grin as he finds a pouch to carefully store the precious plum.

Then, his hand reaches for another, tempting fate.

Will Save, adv vs magic: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (13) + 2 = 151d20 + 2 ⇒ (10) + 2 = 12

Charisma vs Ghost: 1d20 ⇒ 2

Nilelane reinstalls her eyeball into the correct socket, just in time to see a levitating copper piece float by "...Sam?" she whispers.

The buoyant wealth makes its way to a nearby riverbed before plopping into the water unceremoniously, the shore a sticky dark red clay as she pads slowly over to investigate. She suddenly has the urge to reach into the catlinite, attempting to craft a small vase hearing a startling voice cry "...darling...I hunger..."

Thought it would be funny if the haunting was like Patrick Swayze-style from Ghost. That would probably annoy the s##$ out of Nilelane.

Corso curses and bolts towards Elandria, using healing magic to help fix her plopped eye.

"There-there... Teegor! Watch those naughty hands of yours!"

Healing Word: 1d4 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7

Teegor blushes beneath his brown hair and carefully returns Elandria to the ground. "Tried to pluck a plum."

Nilelane is the one that plucked her eye. Elandria is just mortified.

Nestis plucks another plum from the tree and receives another round of boos and jeers.

"C'mon! Do somethin' funny ya jerk," a tiny voice catcalls

"One more!", says Nestis, grin widening if that is even possible, utterly confident in his plum-snatching prowess...

Wisdom Save, advantage: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 = 221d20 + 2 ⇒ (20) + 2 = 22

With two plums in hand and one stowed, Nestis starts juggling them to really show off!

Sleight of Hand: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (7) + 10 = 17

The fabled double nat 20s *starry eyes*. You plucked her good, son.

Given the 0.25% chance of what Nestis just did happening, I figure that deserves a little something more than just not making a fool of yourself. Nestis, you can now make someone do something embarrassing by befuddling their mind. You can only do this once. There is no save. You may choose what action they take as long as it's possible to do in a round and is suitably embarrassing to the target.

I want to give Mark another day to react to what just happened before moving this on.

Elandria gives Teegor a funny look before trying to pick on herself.

Wis: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (16) + 1 = 17

And does so.

"Here. Maybe I should pick them," she says as she hands the glittering plum to Teegor. As she does so, she notices Nilelane acting strangely.

"I your friend okay? She seems a little..."

"F@#kin' Faeries." Mark said, spitting out the word faeries like it one might spit out a piece of rotten meat in a stew.

Mark then just kicks the tree.

Somehow the ghost-magic had even conjured up a little potters wheel, and the corpse sat with legs spread around the artists surface...the vase slowly spinning into shape. Suddenly, the side collapsed, but Nilelane just laughed knowingly, wiping away a tear with a clay covered hand.

When she set out again to repair the structure, she felt an embrace from behind...her loving Sam...after all these years...and the strange ghastly voice returned... "oooo....hunger...for your touch...a long, lonely time..."

But truly, Nilelane was was locked in some kind of mental prison inside herself "What. The. F~&%. What is this crap?!?!? Get me out of here! Help!!!" but her voice seemed to carry within matter that was now insubstantial to the realm of the amethyst plum grove. "Nooooo!"

"...time can do so much..." the evil spirit sang.

Just checking something, don't mind me: 1d20 ⇒ 10

"Now, now. There's no need for that," A deep, rumbling voice echoes throughout the grove.

"Yeah! Smelly hyoomin," a far less imposing voice squeaks. "We're just having fun!"

"And you have had it," the first voice counters. "I think it time to introduce ourselves to our guest, don't you?"

Dozens of fairies and other fey appear from behind trees and down from the canopy overhead. Dryads, Nymphs, Pixies, Brownies, and just about any other kindly fey can be seen, then one of the trees begins to move. A massive, hoary live oak with branches as thick around as many lesser trees' trunks.

"Welcome! Welcome to the Starlit Grove. I am Rundahlrombdree, Forgive my tiny friends. They are a mischievous bunch, but not so bad once they get to know you," the oak says as it turns to face you.

Introduction time! Nilelane, give me another CHA save.

"Better and f@#kin' better. This day just keeps getting better."

Charisma: 1d20 ⇒ 6

A large, middle aged black woman who looks a lot like a young Whoopi Goldberg approaches "He says you're wearing the shirt he spilled the margarita on, and the earrings he gave you for Christmas..."

"What...what are you talking about?" the drow managed to meekly inquire.

"You in danger, girl. He says he knows the man who killed him. His name is Willie Lopez. Write it down...I ain't no damn secretary!"

Inside the mental prison, Nilelane was trying to shatter her brains against the confines of her cell but it was quite futile.

Corso rises from Elandria's side and takes in the sight of the faeries, and the tree! With a massive child-like grin, he walks towards them and opens his arms in a greeting manner, then says: "Oh wonderful people of the woodlands! Just how magnificent you are! We are at your service, kings and queens of these parts!"

Persuasion: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (3) + 6 = 9

Teegor opens his eyes wide at the exposition of fey. He grabs Elandria's hand to protect him, as much as her to protect him. His huge paw covering her hand, wrist and lower arm.

Giving Nestis a chance to respond. Corso, give me a Strength Save, please. You'll find out why in the next update. Nilelane, make another Charisma save, please.

Elandria doesn't flinch as Teegor grabs her hand, well arm. She even looks like it helps her a little as she gives him a nervous smile.

"Hmm," the massive oak rumbles, "A lot of anger and bitterness I sense in you. Strange company you keep. All the more delightful for the little ones. Ah, I see you have made the acquaintance of Ghoopi Woldburg. Charming woman, if a little mad."

The oak rambles on and on as he moves to get a better look at what all is going on in the grove. Several of fairies have congregated by Teegor and Elandria, teasing them and making kissing noises.

Strength save: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (20) - 1 = 19

Well. Damn.

Nestis reduces his grin to a broad smile and gazes across the faces of the various gatherered fey. During this, his busy hands deftly stow away the remaining plums into pouches.

"Why hello there, Rundahlrombdree! Nestis Tassi is my name. My friends and I were just visiting. We will not be bothersome guests and we intend to leave shortly!"

Smile, maintain eye contact, appear genuine.

Persuasion: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (20) + 9 = 29

Insight: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (16) + 8 = 24

Nature: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (12) + 4 = 16

Cha Save: 1d20 ⇒ 19

Sorry, I forgot to say the DC. That's enough to get control back.

Nilelane recovered her senses and angrily ushered Ghoopi away, with a few less than gentle shoves. "You don't know what you're talking about." the drow accused, kicking the soft clay vase apart with a few deft footsweeps.

"No! I mean, yes! I'm a fraud, but not about this!" the medium implored to deaf ears.

"Get lost, dip-s*!%." firing a few warning shots from her bow at Mrs. Woldburg's feet sent her running at last. Still somewhat disoriented from the haunting, Nilelane walked a crooked path back to the faerie king and his consort with a sigh.

"What the f#$k even is reality anymore?" Mark asked, shaking his head.

"Oh, come now. It grows dark and late. Supper is near at hand, and too much food is always prepared. At least stay until morning," Rundahlrombdree says, his massive limbs spreading wide in welcome. "It seems that you could all do with some rest."

Meanwhile, as Mark curses under his breath and wonders what he's stepped into, he hears a shuffle from a nearby tree and hears a soft, familiar voice call out to him.

"Mark, is that you," it asks. Its owner is his wife, looking every bit as young and beautiful as the day they first met. Before he can do a thing, she flings herself at him and wraps her arms around his neck before giving him a fiery, passionate kiss.