[PFS] Your Assault on the Kingdom of the Impossible (Inactive)

Game Master Yours is mined

Pulling up a bit sore after being named 'Druid of the Match' for hitting the winning runs, Angritt rises and apparently orders Rath to miss.

For once, the precocious predator obeys.

Phalgun's phollowers also get to their feet, ready to be all they can be.

Round #1:

Angritt + Rath
Samarjit
Phalgun's crew
Sinaryn (fatigued)
--
East Bandits
--
Psamtic
--
West Bandits
--
Korum (awake, prone)
Matrialda
Palomia (awake, prone)

Sinaryn, do something cool!

Sinaryn groggily reloads her pistol and fires at the nearest (pink) bandit.

Pistol: 1d20 + 5 - 1 ⇒ (20) + 5 - 1 = 24
Damage: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5
Critical Confirm: 1d20 + 5 - 1 ⇒ (5) + 5 - 1 = 9 That would have hurt.

As the pink-eyed albino bandit screams a warning to his fellows, the lead ball from Sinaryn's piece blows through pallet and front teeth as it enters his mouth.

Instead of swallowing the hot meal, the metal fast-ball continues out the back of the pale man's head. But not before severing the top of his spinal cord, dropping him like liquid.

The eastern bandits follow Samarjit's example, firing arrows into your ally's camp. You hear a few cries in the dark as a result.

Round #1:

Angritt + Rath
Phalgun's crew
Sinaryn (fatigued)
--
East Bandits
--
Psamtic
--
West Bandits
--
Korum (awake, prone)
Matrialda
Palomia (awake, prone)

Psamtic, do something savage!

Delaying Psamtic

While Psamtic considers her options, the banana-breathed bandit strides westward and fires an arrow at Sinaryn.

Yellow shortbow: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (16) + 3 = 19 Sinaryn, your Dex is 2 lower for fatigue
damage: 1d6 + 2 ⇒ (1) + 2 = 3

The dark-blue eyed marauder grabs the sceptre and retreats 30' to the south. He is covered by Kermit & Grimace, who draw hand axes and 5' step as necessary to the bedridden, but otherwise awake Korum.

Green hand axe + prone vs unarmored(?) Korum: 1d20 + 2 + 4 ⇒ (16) + 2 + 4 = 22
damage: 1d6 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6

Purple hand axe + prone vs unarmored(?) Korum: 1d20 + 2 + 4 ⇒ (12) + 2 + 4 = 18
damage: 1d6 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 = 4

Round #1/2:

Angritt + Rath
Phlgun's crew
Sinaryn (fatigued)
--
East Bandits
West Bandits
--
Psamtic
Korum (awake, prone)
Matrialda
Palomia (awake, prone)

All Pathfinders, do something ninja!

The paladin grabs his glaive and rises. "What's going on? What is happening. Bandits?!?! Don't let them near the scepter...it's a priceless artifact!

"Thieves, taste the might of the INHERITOR!"

Psamtic will smite the purple bandit and swing, since this particular bandit doesn't have the scepter.

ATTACK!: 1d20 + 7 + 2 ⇒ (3) + 7 + 2 = 12
Why am I even rolling this?: 1d12 + 9 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 9 + 1 = 12

"Ahem. Maybe she didn't hear me...."

Matrialda steps into the trees, eyes full of righteous indignation. "Come back here right this instant, young man!" she yells after the departing miscreant holding the scepter. That's right - if there's one thing young people hate, it's being told what to do, she thinks to herself in satisfaction as she pulls out some colored sand from a hand-knit pouch. Chanting a quick phrase, she finishes her spell by blowing a stream of absolutely garish colors at the remaining bandits.

Move into trees (assuming difficult terrain) and cast color spray. She'll also use a point from her reserve to increase the DC to 16.

A tired Sinaryn has a bandit arrow stick close to her ribs.

Psamtic calls down a holy smite on Grimace, but her lack of faith apparently disturbs her noble goddess, and the attack misses.

Korum the Firewood Knight is chopped twice by the enemy Scouts. As he rises bravely, they get the chance to split him again.

Green AoO hand axe vs unarmored(?) Korum: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (18) + 2 = 20 hit
damage: 1d6 + 2 ⇒ (2) + 2 = 4

Purple AoO hand axe + vs unarmored(?) Korum: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (13) + 2 = 15 hit I think, Korum?
damage: 1d6 + 2 ⇒ (1) + 2 = 3

Green Will vs color spray, modifier added off screen: 1d20 ⇒ 20
Purple Will vs color spray, modifier added off screen: 1d20 ⇒ 7

Matrialda shows Kermit and Grimace her true colors. Kermit is unimpressed, thinking rainbows are visions - but only illusions.

Grimace's eyes spin as he recalls the poor quality of his last unhappy meal. He sinks to hands and knees releasing a technicolor yawn, before collapsing in a sugar coma.

Round #1/2:

Angritt + Rath
Phalgun's crew
Sinaryn (-3 hp, fatigued)
--
East Bandits

Banana Breath
Kermit
Grimace (unconscious)
Dark Blue (has scepter)
--
Psamtic
Korum (-17 hp)
Matrialda
Palomia (awake, prone)

Palo, Angritt, Rath & Sinaryn, do something Special!

Both hit. AC 11 right now.

Her eyes having snapped open at the sounds of combat breaking out, Palomia staggers to her feet and looks blearily around. Genuinely unable to see the bandit that's apparently bolted with the scepter and noting that everyone else seems to have Kermit and Grimace taken care of, she moves to check out the rest of the wagon - and spots Banana Breath.

"That's not your stuff! I don't know you!" she yells, pointing accusingly as she calls to mind a spell...
______________

Stand from prone, move to current map position~

Angritt gives the order for Rath to get the Yellow bandit. Meanwhile, Angritt "gives chase" to the one running with the scepter (double move)

Rath does as ordered and tries to bite the yellow bandit.

Bite: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (20) + 4 = 24 Damage: 1d8 + 6 ⇒ (4) + 6 = 10
Crunch!: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (12) + 4 = 16 Extra Damage: 1d8 + 6 ⇒ (7) + 6 = 13

"Well, these others aren't going to make it out alive." Sinaryn says reloading and firing at another ruffian.

Pistol@Green: 1d20 + 5 - 1 - 4 ⇒ (17) + 5 - 1 - 4 = 17
Damage: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (6) + 1 = 7

Angritt chases after the terrified Blue-eyed bandit, who withdraws into the night avec scepter.

Palomia rises and moves to intercept Banana Breath, just in time to see Rath cock his head to the side like a puppy and lunge at the man's neck. With a sickening SNAP and slurpy *SWALLOW* trachea, oesophagus and Aroden's apple all disappear down the tyrannosaur's throat.

And with his backbone severed, the bandit's head rolls from his shoulders to ground with a pathetic plop.

Sinaryn's lead ball lodges in Kermit's left bicep, but it's not enough to put him down.

Green hand axe on Korum: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (18) + 2 = 20
damage: 1d6 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 2 = 7

Phalgun's men move in to engage the eastern bandits, who respond ferociously. One of your allies lets out a painful howl, before being silenced by what sounds like a boot stomp.

Round #2/3:

Angritt + Rath
Phalgun's crew
Sinaryn (-3 hp, fatigued)
--
East Bandits

Kermit (injured)
Grimace (unconscious)
Dark Blue (outa there)
--
Psamtic
Korum (-24 hp)
Matrialda
Palomia

Pathfinders! do something terrible.

Korum and Psamtic certainly seem to have this fellow under control, Matrialda thinks to herself as she strolls through the gunfire and yelling as if on her way to afternoon tea. "Don't you worry dears - grannie's coming for you!" she calls out to Phalgun and his men. (Or perhaps it's to the bandits assaulting them...)

Double move

Angritt moves back towards the middle of the camp. He then commands Rath to go get the other bandits to the east. Rath obeys and begins moving in that direction.

The blooded paladin takes a step back. He snarls "Son, all you had to do was leave. Your mother was right to be disappointed in you. You've made some bad decisions in your life. This one is gonna kill you."

Karma's a B**ch!: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (13) + 8 = 21 for Bloodletting: 1d10 + 4 ⇒ (10) + 4 = 14

His voice rings out into the night, "The rest of you, help the others. No one under our protection dies on our watch!"

"Gods forbid, if something ever happens to Relas I'm getting myself a Rath of my very own," Palo gapes as she watches the dinosaur neatly relieve Banana Breath of his throat. She spots Matrialda heading towards the other encampment and hurries to catch up.

"Whoa whoa whoa, it's dangerous, okay Granny? That was a neat trick with the razzle-dazzle but it's probably not going to work a second time," Palo calls out as she carefully slips past the old woman, trying to hurry to help Phalgun and his men but not wanting to literally bowl the old woman over either.
______________

Double move~

Depending on their relationship with Matrialda/their upbringing/or both, the eastern combatants hear the welcoming/terrible cry of "Granny's coming!"

Angritt refocuses Rath's efforts to the east, before pursuing the Cretaceous carnivore, in partnership with Balogna Palomia.

Both humanoid Pathfinders see Muttiah and Phalgun engaged in fierce hand-to hand combat, with Samarjit firing his bow from the underbrush.

Sanath, the quiet soldier who clean-bowled Korum, lies motionless at Phalgun's feet; his neck bent at an impossible angle.

⚔️

The Silver-Eyed Wolf Paladin encourages the others before driving his glaive into the right of Kermit's chest. The bandit has time to look down at the weapon's haft, and then up at Korum with a horrified expression. He tries to scream, but only coughs up frothy pink blood before expiring on his feet.

Round #2/3:

Angritt + Rath
Phalgun's crew
Sinaryn (-3 hp, fatigued)
--
East Bandits

Kermit (dead)
Grimace (unconscious)
--
Psamtic
Korum (-24 hp)
Matrialda
Palomia

Psamtic & Sinaryn do something spectacular!

"Wait up ya old kook! Gonna get stabbed running off." Sinaryn says giving chase after Matrialda while reloading her pistol.

Move and Standard: Reload.

Sinaryn expresses her fondness for her favorite Pathfinder Senior Citizen not named 'Drandle' and moves to rescue Matrialda from her midnight meanderings.

Round #2/3:

Angritt + Rath
Phalgun's crew
Sinaryn (-3 hp, fatigued)
--
Red bandit
White bandit
Orange bandit

Grimace (unconscious)
--
Psamtic
Korum (-24 hp)
Matrialda
Palomia

Psamtic do something sick!

"What an unfortunate time to take a nap. I thought you were ROBBERS!"

Psamtic just straight up beheads the man in front of her.

Coup de grace, please

Damage: 3d12 + 27 ⇒ (6, 2, 3) + 27 = 38

Seeing a blood-drooling dinosaur charging their way, the bloodshot-eyed brigand RUNS out of reach to the north-east. His white-shirted brother withdraws after him.

Orange bandana stays to cover their retreat. Phalgun, Muttiah and Samarjit attack the man with bow and blade, but all the Thakur's men miss.

Round #3/4:

Angritt + Rath
Phalgun's crew
Sinaryn (-3 hp, fatigued)
--
Red bandit (outa there)
White bandit (ditto)
Orange bandit

Grimace
--
Psamtic
Korum (-24 hp)
Matrialda
Palomia

Pathfinders, do something amazing!

Ignoring his wounds for the moment, the paladin sprints toward Phalgun and his men.

Double Move

Rath goes after the remaining bandit as Angritt follows behind.

Bite: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (2) + 4 = 6 Damage: 1d8 + 6 ⇒ (1) + 6 = 7

Palomia darts around the bend in the road and sees the remaining bandit who is obviously either an idiot or someone with a death wish.

"Alright Twinkle-Toes, why don't you have a seat?" she calls out as she conjures a puddle of grease underneath the man's feet.
______________

Palo casts Grease, indicated by the yellow grid; DC 14 Reflex save~

Seeing how well her favorite grandchild reads her mind, Matrialda takes a moment to slip the bit of butter on her fingers back into her pouch and clear her throat. ”No!” she shrieks again. ”You fools, they’ve gotten away! We’ll never find them in this jungle!”

She adds a few wails and sobs for good effect before turning back to Sinaryn. ”Now dear, I know my book’s a bit old and worn out, but there’s really no need to shout that to the world. And here I thought your mother raised you better than that - I shall have to have some words with her when we’re both back in Absalom.”

Bluff: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (11) + 1 = 12

No movement this round.

Sinaryn moves up ahead of Matrialda and reloads her weapon. A grimace on her face at the mention of her mother.

"Please do! Let me know when you find her as I have some words too!" she replies.

Forgot the paladin level in my last post. Got a few barbarians across several mediums.

Taking back the coup de grace. We'll just double move last turn and this one.

Palomia sans Relas conjures a grease spot under orange ...

orange reflex vs Palo's grease: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (19) + 4 = 23

But the bully keeps his feet, neatly dodging Rath's blast of hot, stinky, NON-banana Breath.

Stepping out of the grease, the man takes a long end-around to the south, avoiding the surprised axe-chops of Phalgun and Muttiah.

His twin-move eventually puts him in Korum's face, though his goal seems to lie beyond the half-orc pally.

Rath, Psamtic & Palomia all have AoOs in addition to their Round 4/5 turns.

Round #4/5:

Angritt + Rath
Phalgun's crew
Sinaryn (-3 hp, fatigued)
--
Orange bandit
Grimace (unconscious)
--
Psamtic
Korum (-24 hp)
Matrialda
Palomia

Pathfinders, finish this!

"Woah there. Where ya goin?"

AoO: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (8) + 7 = 15
Damage: 1d12 + 9 ⇒ (2) + 9 = 11

"Get back here you heathen!" Psamtic shouts, spit flying from her mouth as she charges.

CHARGE!: 1d20 + 7 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 7 + 2 = 15
Damage: 1d12 + 9 ⇒ (9) + 9 = 18

"Sorry kid, this ain't yer night! You don't seem like the surrenderin' type. So, I hafta put you down before you hurt anyone else. Nothin' personal, just business. I'm sure you understand."

Glaive vs Orange: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (19) + 8 = 271d10 + 4 ⇒ (4) + 4 = 8
Swift LoH: 1d6 ⇒ 3

"If that isn't going to lay down after that let me help." Sinaryn says coming around Korum and firing her pistol but rather than a bullet a beam of ice pours out of the barrel with the sound of cracking ice.

Ray of Frost: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (15) + 5 = 20
Damage: 1d3 ⇒ 1 Looks cool at least.

Sinaryn, save your ammo from the frost shot ;)

Korum blocks the remaining bandit's path, and provides the most honest judgement he can, given the circumstances. Words that unfortunately have come 10 years too late to save the man from the righteous might delivered by the sharp edge of Psamtic's Greataxe.

Combat over. Korum -21hp, Sinaryn -3hp (fatigued)

Phalgun sheathes his axe and sombrely instructs Muttiah to attend to Sanath's body. He then approaches Samarjit, while making a 'give it to me' gesture with his right hand. His subordinate fishes a pair of well made manacles from his backpack and presses them into Phalgun's hands.

Samarjit then sits back, wincing from his arrow wounds. He looks like he will survive, but will need much treatment and rest which is not soon found in the jungle.

Phalgun then moves to Grimace's supine form and secures the unconscious bandit's hands behind his back.

He then turns to your group. "My friends, I am sorry we were unable to protect your merchandise. But I trust your plan was not jeopardised by these events."

"We must claim this prisoner for interrogation. But I offer you a chance at him first. Just do not kill or maim him. My thanks for your aid, and well fought, all of you."

The downed bandits carry a hand axe, composite shortbow (Str +2) with 20 arrows, and wear leather armor.

"They've got the rod! We've still got the wayfinder, though, right?" Psamtic says to the group, completely disinterested in the captured bandit.

"Can't think of a thing to ask him. You and your boys good fer healin'?" He assures himself the militia men are in good shape before tending more to his own wounds. "Gonna need a go night's sleep before we get after him tomorrow."

LoH {2 of 3}: 1d6 ⇒ 2
LoH {3 of 3}: 1d6 ⇒ 5

”What nonsense," Matrialda responds as she shakes her head. ”And here I thought you were learning something in that school your father worked so hard to send you to.”

The elderly woman walks over to the prisoner, kneeling down next to him and pulling out a handkerchief. ”Here we go - let’s get you cleaned up a little,” she says as she wipes the jungle grime from his face. ”If you’ve got any itches you need scratched, just let me know. I’m sure it’s a bit hard when your arms are bound behind your back. Now, we’ve got some questions for you. We’re trying to find this Zamir, and we want to hurt as few people as possible on our way. Your information may be the difference between your friends being alive vs them ending up as dinosaur food.” She pauses to gesture at the remains of Rath’s opponent. ”So don’t be afraid to speak up, dear.” She pats the man gently on the cheek as she rises back to her feet.

Diplomacy to Aid: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (5) + 1 = 6

Some likely questions would include how the camp is guarded, how many of them there are, etc.

"Granny's got the right of it," Palomia remarks, jerking her thumb towards the old woman. "Play nice with us now and we miiiiiight just be willing to play nice with the rest of your little friends, alright? I can think of all *kinds* of better ways to go than getting turned into dinosaur chow."

Diplomacy: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (4) + 3 = 7

There's a pause.

"Damn, this is why I let Relas do most of the sweet-talking when he's around," she grumbles under her breath as she turns on her heel and walks over to Phalgun. "Should've left that last part out..."

"Hey, your friend looks pretty hurt. He gonna be okay? Do you need any help with him?" she asks, peering down at Samarjit.

☤ Korum -14hp, Sinaryn -3hp (fatigued) ☤

Grimace flinches at Matrialda's touch, before spitting in her general direction as she questions him. The captive then expels a blistering stream of Vudrani, which draws Phalgun's embarrassed attention.

"I apologise for my countryman's poor grammar, Nani."

Phalgun bows. "In essence he says he would rather die than answer the questions of ... a welcome visitor to our island home."

"Given Zamir's reputation towards those that betray him, I believe the cur."

☤

Samarjit looks up hopefully at Palo. "Some small amount of healing would be most welcome, Miss Palo."

"What will you do now? Will you accompany us back to Niswan?"

"'Fraid not. We have a way to track the stolen item. We'll be knocking on his door in a few days or so. After that, well, he shouldn't be a problem your government will needs to worry about."

"Well...I can't actually make use of it myself, but I've got this healing wand," Palo offers, digging it out of her pocket. "If Phalgun or one of my teammates over there wants to activate it, you're welcome to use it."

"And yeah, we've still got somewhere to be," she nods in agreement with Korum. "Those idiots took our bait so now all we have to do is follow and 'introduce' ourselves to Zamir. As the brains of the operation maybe he'll have the sense to stand down!"

Angitt starts by healing Korum with his wand:

Cure Light x3: 3d8 + 3 ⇒ (4, 5, 3) + 3 = 15

Then Sinaryn

Cure Light: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (5) + 1 = 6

Samarjit holds out Palo's CLW wand to Angritt and the paladins hopefully, before returning the healing item to its owner.

"A thousand thanks, Miss Palomia."

The wounded soldier bows. "Anyone who besmirches your gallant nature will have me to deal with."

He thumps his chest with his fist. "I would gladly battle a great cat on your behalf."

☯️

After allowing some lead time, as instructed, Sinaryn uses the wayfinder to point you in the right direction. The reverse-engineered ancient Azlanti device leads you around to the eastern side of the ruins. As you approach, you use whatever means you can to conceal yourselves. The path appears to be a game trail and it is well concealed by the overhanging leaves and vines.

Bushes and debris litter the nearby hillside with the remains of the outer walls of an ancient stone structure visible above the foliage and reaching a height of about fifteen feet. The shattered stone remains of a taller building are visible inside the walls.

New Map!

Angritt spots a man's head sticking up from behind the near rampart's walls.

He is not a very diligent lookout. Indeed, he doesn't appear to have noticed the party ... yet.

Palo snorts but then cracks a smile.

"Hey, happy to help. And thanks; I'll remember that the next time Relas wants to hog all of the cheese."
______________

"Huh...not bad, as far as secret jungle hideouts go," Palo whispers to the others as they watch from their hiding place in the foliage. "Depending on how we want to do this I can always help speed things along with some grease..."

"Ooh, and I can be sneaky when I want to be," Relas whispers, now accompanying the group once more. "Maybe I can make up for not being able to help you guys with the ambush last night!"

"If we.. He looks at the others, then his own armor, "If I get any closer, we lose the element of surprise. My vote is for the sneaky cat."

"Agreed. Rath isn't sneaky, but he could be a distraction if we think we need one."

"Okay! Um...I guess first thing is to try and see if there's anyone else hanging around out there," Relas nods. "I can't go too far from Palo or I'll start growing weaker and weaker but maybe I can at least get up close to that hole in the wall and take a peek."

He thinks for a moment.

"If they see me, I'll run away into the jungle back here. Maybe they'll think I'm a regular panther and not follow. Or maybe they will follow and you guys can ambush them," he adds, cheerfully.

The paladin watches the eidolon 'slink' into the ruins. Are you f#%$ing kidding me? He shakes his head, "How can something look like a panther but move like a fat rhino? Can anyone explain that? Well, if were lucky, the guard is alone...and drunk...and deaf."

"Sounds wonderful to me. It isn't like my weaponry is exactly quiet." Sinaryn agrees.