As soon as Cashara reaches for the book, Caledon steps out of the room and motions for Vetalia to do the same. If it turned out to that the gunslinger wasn't a gangland assassin - he'd have to explain the concept of explosive Runes and cursed objects.
While waiting for loud bangs or wails of agony (or possibly loud bangs followed by wails of agony) from study he casts detect magic and thinks about what he might deduce about the Elf.
Cashara presses on the book a little on one side to test it before picking it up.
after testing it, she reaches out, turns it and carefully turns it over, wanting the wait of the book to remain on the elf so he would be less likely to come-to.
The elf continues his trance-like ah-oohms as Cashara presses on the book. Having neither caused an explosion nor created discomfort for the elf, she immediately overturns the book—
Its cover triggers a memory, so Cashara knows what the blue-gray material is: the Cryonomicon is bound in frostbitten flesh, and the face of the book literally has a face! Its three eyes are glowing-red lumps of ever-burning brimstone! Its long, crooked nose is the preserved finger of a troll, about the size of a carrot. Its menacing smile is the fangs of various woodland beasts, such as wolves and bears.
While there are no traps, both Caledon and Cashara—along with every observer in the study—have a negative (albeit physically-harmless) experience:
Caledon finds the amount of Negative and Cold energy from the book overwhelming. The chill in his spine is not a feeling a wizard would expect from a mere cantrip. Yet he feels it would be unsafe to continue focusing his Detect Magic on the Cryonomicon.
As for Cashara, nothing happens to her. But as she is about to lay the book onto the elf's bare chest, she notices that there is a gaping hole where the troll-finger-nose was when the cover was overturned. It seems the elf purposely impaled himself with the book cover. Curiously, there is no blood leaking from the hole. From what Cashara can see, the organs are all frozen in place. Also odd: there are no burns on the chest from the book's glowing eyes.
All of this realization kicks in the exact moment Cashara sees the book cover. Dr. Marvin (along with keen-eyed Vetalia, if she either remained in the room or peered around the door out of morbid curiosity) is the first to notice the effect of removing the book—which Cashara learns as well when she hears the thud:
The moment the troll-finger is removed from Jack Frystyoghurt's belly, his head rolls off. Both ends of the severed neck are frozen solid. Nothing leaks out. As for the head, it ah-ooms one last time until it lands upside down on the floor. Then it remains upside down, eyes continuing to glow blue.
"Oh, balls," Jack says of his predicament.
Cashara gives a nervous laugh and puts the book back in place, then moves slowly to the door, hand on her revolver ready to draw if needed.
The body rises from the shelf, oblivious as it bumps the stub of its neck on the bottom of the top shelf. The top shelf rises as the headless elf sits upright. Books dump onto the floor.
The body then slides his butt off the shelf, and drops onto the floor feet first. He lands off-balance, but maintains his footing. He flails about for the head. Jack's head tres to direct the flailing hands, "Closer. No. Further. Better. Moron..." until finally the headless elf lifts his own head by his long, dark hair. "Ow. Moron," the head mutters.
Jack then faces Cashara (along with Doc Blitzen who is hiding behind her as she backs away slowly.
"uh, Hi" she says, a little shaken by this.
The head tries to nod in reply to Cashara's greeting, but just ends up swinging itself by the hair. Jack does not make a second attempt at the acknowledging gesture. He merely speaks:
"Jack Frystyoghurt at your service. I am not certain whether interrupting my meditation was beneficial or detrimental, but I suspect the latter and it is, after all, the thought that counts, so I shall err on the side of gratitude."
Jack glares at his own body. "Bow, a##%##!."
The body bows.
The head says, "Thank you, young lady, for releasing me from my trance before the Ice Devil could take me."
Cashara nods
"no problem" she says, calming down a little
Caledon mutters to himself, "Image of the laws of cold..."
Keeping the door frame partially between himself and Jack Frystyoghurt. "You used that artifact to contact an Elder Mythos." There is no hint of a question in his statement.
After a moment he asks "Are you a lich?"
Cashara get closer to the door, a little more relaxed, but still ready for something to happen.
Jack tries to shake his head 'no,' but ends up twirling by his hair until his body's other hand stops his head from spinning.
"I am merely an elf nearing his end, and preserving life through the power of ice. It seems I have succeeded, though admittedly through luck rather than studies. The term 'lich' sounds dreadfully devoid of life."
He looks up at his body's neck stump. "If you would kindly pledge allegiance..."
The body switches the head to the left hand, and places the right hand over the heart. Seconds later, the right hand makes an okay sign.
"I have excellent news," Jack says. "The beating of my telltale heart confirms I am not a lich, for I am alive. Now that that frightening business is settled, tell me something. For you have come from the outdoors, as is evident by the trail of snowy footprints you left on the dwarves' carpet. While you were out and about, have you lot experienced anything... peculiar?"
"well, there is some really cold weather outside."
"Oh, balls." Jack's body positions the head to gaze out the window. "I saw this in a vision while I was trapped in a meditative state.
"The White Death starts with a downward surge,
Temperature-wise, where The First shall emerge
From a Snow-cano, an abomination
Sure to ruin Crystalhue Vacation
"The poem was part of the vision. A one-stanza poem repeated relentlessly until I awoke. The vision itself was a blinding snowstorm and a booming drum, beating slowly and steadily. An army marched to it... white figures; indiscernible through the blizzard, but I could see them well enough to know they were shaped of men. And The First. He is something bigger. Not the Ice Devil, but surely one connected to him.
"I fear I may be somehow responsible for this."
The body bends forward, humbly hanging his neck-stub in shame.
The head says, "I am... very sorry. Very, very sorry."
"if I where still a cop, I'd arrest you." she says "but, your good so far. just don't do something stupped again"
"If you Know it wasn't the Ice Devil, then you know what the Ice devil looks like?
Jack is relieved when Cashara says he is not to be arrested—especially since he may be unable to die in his current state. He does his best to be compliant when Caledon presses him for detail.
"I do not, sir. None of the figures in my vision were clear. I only know that The First is not the Ice Devil."
In any case, a volcano spewing snow is not a natural occurrence. Either Jack is speaking of powerful magic with an overly simplistic name or the "poem" is the ranting of a madman.
Caledon starts talking out loud as he considers their situation. Perhaps his rambling helps to organize his thoughts. Perhaps his rambling helps him work up the courage for what needs to be done. Perhaps it's a little of both. "I am a probationary member of Black's Society of Upright Gentlemen, and that lowly status requires that I donate time in service to the fraternity. Drudgery builds character, they say."
He smirks at the thought of membership in Black's improving ones character before continuing. "I'm a decent enough scribe, and thus often elect to assist in maintaining the clubhouse's private archives."
The wizard pauses for a second, collecting his thoughts. "Incidentally, just last month I transcribed a few of old tomes that were moldering away. Among them was the original geographical survey conducted by the Westedge Miner's guild."
"Although the hours spent battling paper mites and book fleas has indeed forged me into a man of impeccable character...I've been informed that my skill at distilling whiskey is more critical to the mission of the club."
He seems to direct his next comment in Mavrin's direction. "I won't confuse anyone with the technical details, but a proper scientific approach requires comparing batch samples to a control sample. The larger the batch sample, the better the science."
With a mischievous smile he carries on his rambling. "On the same day I transcribed the geological survey I had already spent much of the morning personally comparing a great number of samples. Thus my diligence and exceptional work ethic had left my mind exhausted and...fuzzy during the transcription."
"As a result I can't recall all the details of the geological survey but I can say with moderate certainty that there are at least two areas of volcanic activity in the region."
He pauses pensively, then says. "One is on the island to the north, upon which a large and probably active volcanoes is known to exist. The other is the long dormant Victoria peak here in Snowberry Hills. "
Pointing at the cyronomicon he says, "That book has an Aura of cold magic and channels enough entropy from the negative plane that I imagine all of you felt it's effects. You may recall that at Sister Bellum's I explained the magic fueling this weather change is likely to originate from a demigod or an occult ritual."
"Now we have before us a powerful relic associated with The Great Old Ones and Occult Rituals. Given that, think we can surmise that Jack Frystyoghurt used an occult ritual from Cryonomicon in an attempt to extend his life. This has brought the attention of a Great Old One to Rooftopolis. If this poem and vision has any merit, then the emissary of Ice devil is probably unleashing an apocalypse from Victoria peak as we speak ."
He is quiet for a few seconds. "I'm going to investigate."
Doc Blitzen follows along as Caledon speaks. "Makes sense to me," he says. "I guess y'all'll be on yer way then?"
As he says that, the Cowbot enters the room. CB tells Cashara, "From what I heard, ma'am, seems fireworks will have to wait fer another time. But ya still get yer prize, as promised." The Cowbot hands Cashara his derringer. "There's only one shot in it. First pull o' the trigger is a warning. Second pull fires. Got it?"
Cashara nods "thanks partner."
she takes it and puts it in one of her coat pockets.
Mavrin, who had been listening quietly from the corner, raises a single clawed finger and says in barley a whisper,
"Should we not destroy the book? Or, at least take it away from this fool?"
He said this with his eyes closed, all the while thoughts swirled through his head like a blizzard.
An extended lifespan? Most interesting... But of course it came with the price of summoning and evil ice army... What a fool. A nice poem though. The wizard... He opens up easily, doesn't he? An unwise decision. Or maybe, perhaps, he feels as though he doesn't need to worry about who knows what about him? And he seems to know the girl with the animals... Vetalia was her name. What about her? She doesn't seem to be a native of the city, and she doesn't seem dressed for the weather... Then there is that reckless gunslinger... I mustent lie to myself, I am quite envious of her skill with a firearm... Although I should just practice using firearms myself. Father always said that jealously was a vice one can not afford... But back on topic... Four relatively strangers fighting an army? Ludicrous.
Jack looks down at his chest, where Cashara returned the book. He slowly un-impales himself, pulling the Cryonomicon's troll-finger-nose from the hole in his belly. The book falls onto the floor, face up. Its three brimstone eyes and beastly grin seem to mock Jack as his head makes silent eye contact.
"Take it," Jack says to Dr. Marvin. "I do not know if you can safely destroy it. I only know you must never read it. If you have ever read a book so intriguing you 'just cannot put it down,' that is my experience with this book. Perhaps a friend yanking it from my hand would have saved me. Perhaps I would have reacted violently to such a friend. Perhaps I did, and the Cryonomicon erased my memory of the act and the friend.
"All I am certain of is this: never open the book. Not a peak, if you do not desire my fate."
"I'm not inclined to touch it. I'm loath to have even my unseen servant carry it. However, we could try tossing it into the snow-cano like the haflings in that varisian fable. The one about Mount U'm and the Second Ring of Invisibility."
He holds out one wand of Glitter Dust and one Wand of Color Spray to Doctor Mavrin. "You just flick your hand and they solve problems."
Doc Blitzen takes an old leather book bag, drapes it over the Cryonomicon, and manages to get it inside without touching or opening the book. He leaves it on the floor. "Ain't sure what that accused thing's doing in m'study, but I say good riddance."
Mavrin snatches the wands with a growl and then leans down to pick up the bag. What a shame to destroy it... But at least, then, it wouldn't be able to cause any more problems.
With a nod to their host, the doctor makes a swift exit. He stops at the front door and massages his jaw while looking at the bag in his hands. Yes, what a shame...
Our heroes leave Jack with the dwarves, but take the troublesome book with them.
As they head up the road, they see some privledged children playing with wands. They color spray and glitter dust a family of snowmen, cheering wildly as the rainbow-colored snow glitters.
A woman peeks out the front door of the mansion.
"Are those damn kids finished decorating yet? They'll freeze their little asses off!"
Yes! Fantastic! Make the snow hurt my eyes even more!
"Bah humbug."
Oh, and look! The mother whale!
A young woman who is adding a decoration atop the tallest evergreen in her front yard replies,
"Please, Mama Fratelli. Go inside. The children are protected by my spell; you are not."
The children giggle as Dr. Marvin makes his grumpy expression, but the laughter doesn't last long. Webs of ice appear wherever there is glitterdust. And where there is color, a rainbow of steam rises.
"How odd. The wands should be harmless to the snow."
The young woman climbs down to console a crying girl. She flicks away an icy tear.
"Get in here, you little s%@%s, before your tears freeze and your whiny faces stay like that FOREVER!"
The children heed the elder's advice and run inside. They don't look back as the glitterdusted snowman cracks and crumbles, and the colorsprayed snowman slowly melts into colorful puddles.
Anna lets the crying girl go to Mama Fratelli, then stares in disbelief as the destruction caused by her harmless spells.
She then turns to our heroes, introducing herself as "Anna." She has a striking resemblance to the naked woman who fell off the roof at Sister Bellum's.
"Are you in any need of assistance?" she asks with a look of genuine concern.
"not at the moment as I know of" she says "but I think our protection might where off soon, if you could give us another dose that would be great." after a moment of thought she looks at the rest of the party.
"put the book down" she orders as she pulls out her revolver and levels it at the book itself.
"and cross your fingers" she adds.
To Anna he says, "It's gracious of you to ask. We're on a mission to investigate this unnatural cold. Sister Bellum blessed us against the cold earlier. However, she didn't have enough time to protect our animals. It would be a great boon if you were able to ward our companions against this weather."
When Cashara pulls out her weaponn, Caledon starts to say something then stops. Starts to say something else, thinks better of it and pauses again. After few seconds consideration "Brother Seamus's organization relies on the good will of the citizens of Rooftopolis."
He gestures toward the near by manssions, the children and then at their rich mothers. " I would advise against discharging a fire arm in the middle of the Snowberry Suburbs...while children play near by...at an artifact a dark god uses to manifest his will upon the world."
She shrugs a little and puts her gun away
"I'm still going to shoot it"
Anna asks, "Do you know when the spell was cast? The duration of Endure Elements is twenty-four hours." "In any case, I cannot cast it again, or I would have cast my spell on Mama Fratelli. Even my animal companion, Sissinnguaq, had to stay in the house.
"I would offer sanctuary for your animals as well, but Mama Frai does not understand the ways of the druid. The wasp and panther would surely frighten her. I suggest you seek Baron von Heatmiser. His stable is warm, even warmer than the inn at the ski resort. Tell him Anna sent you."
Regarding the conversation about shooting the book, Anna says, "Oh, if you can avoid shooting here, that would be best for Mama Fratei's heart condition."
"Thank you. That's a good idea." No reason to bring the horse or dogs on a suicide mission.
Mavrin yanks the bag away from Cashara's direction.
"You will not be shooting it! This is an artifact of great interest!" he says through gnashing teeth. "If we are to get rid of it, we will do it properly after study!"
With those words he bends down and scoops up some rainbow colored slush into a vial, then quickly retreats into the shadows, not wanting to scare the children with his monstrous appearance.
Dr. Marvin notices that the colored snow is melting quickly, which is odd. The temperature has hit a new low, and the colored snow isn't unnaturally warm. (Of course, if it were warm, he probably wouldn't notice due to the Endure Element spell.)
As Dr. Marvin wants to avoid children, Caledon and Vetalia want to protect their animals, and Cashara wants to protect the city with her shooting skills, it seems our heroes have no reason to stay put. Looking ahead, some clear indigo sky peeks through the cloud cover. The eye of the storm? At any rate, a particularly bright star is aligned with the distinct roof of a distant barn. The faint vermilion glow of a fire is seen below the roof. From such distance, the flames are a glorified spark, but comparing its size to the snow-covered roof, it seems someone manages to light a campfire in this unnaturally frigid air.
Cashara looks at the rest of the party
"well, what are we all standing around for?" she asks
but then holds for a moment and then turns to Anna
"do you, by any chance, posses anything that might be us-full in a fight? not saying that you have to be the one to use it, but do you?"
The idea that Color Spray or Glitterdust could damage snow is unheard of.
Anna replies nervously, "I suppose I can become a yak and offer assistance, though I normally do not use my druidry for battle. But yes, I cannot deny my responsibility to your animals."
Anna walks alongside our heroes. The look on her face suggests she lacks experience in battle, but much to her relief, no Ice Devil minions jump out of the woods. The party arrives at a barn. There is a moustached man and a young couple by a campfire. The young wife is very pregnant, and is laid in a bed of straw. She looks like she is ready to give birth, at least judging from her expression. A blanket is draped over her round belly.
Anna says, "I am a practicing midwife. Please allow me to help the young mother."
As she rushes into the stable, she says something to the moustached man. He turns to our heroes wearing a warm expression.