You are goblins of the Licktoad tribe, who live deep in Brinestump Marsh, south of the hated man-town called Sandpoint. Once, other goblins tried to burn Sandpoint down, and they would have been legends if they had succeeded. But they didn’t bring enough fire, and got themselves killed as a result.
Yesterday, your tribe discovered that one of your own had been using forbidden arts and was engaged in one of the greatest of taboos—writing things down. In fact, rumor holds that what he was writing was a history of your tribe! There’s no swifter way to bring about bad luck than stealing words out of your mind by writing them down, and so your tribe had no choice. You branded the goblin’s face with letters to punish him, which is why everyone calls him Scribbleface now, and then you ran him out of town, took all of his stuff, and burned down his hut.
That’s where things got interesting, because before you all burned down his hut, Chief Gutwad found a weird box within the building. Inside was a map and a lot of fireworks—fireworks that immediately came to use in burning the hut down. Then, this morning, Gutwad announced that tonight there would be a feast in order to drive out any lingering bad luck from
Scribbleface’s poor decisions. But perhaps even more exciting, all of you have been secretly invited to meet at Chief Gutwad’s Moot House. Why would the chief want to speak to you? It can only mean that he’s got an important mission for you all... one that the other goblins of the tribe couldn’t pull off. This could be your chance to go down in Licktoad history!
Rumple, being very excited, and also very fast since he is riding on a wolf, rushes to to the moot house first. There he stands with his nose nearly touching the door.
"I the skinsticker be here to honorably stick the skin which should be stuck, with my sticker in hand. I shall be the haste of the wind into the... place, to do the things!"
Impressed with his own high-brow and eloquent speaking, Rumple waits for the chief to be duly impressed and to send him on his no-doubt honorable mission.
Cara Jos is sitting on the floor, close to the Gutwad`s house. He is waiting for some action at the door before to act.
Alphonse, spluttering and jittering away, walks up to the moot house, Gecko, his dinosaur companion, close behind him.
The goblin you know as Slorb greets you at the door. You know him as the chief's right hand man. He is a hideous even by goblin standards, with half an ear missing and his one eye scarred shut. He speaks to you in a nasally voice.
"The chief is very busy... yes very busy, so he will not see you until everyone arrives."
Cara Jos looks carefully to Slorb. While he is talking, Cara Jos introduces a finger into his nose, trying to find something inside, but it is aparently clean. He won´t move until everybody arrives.
Alphonse, inching forward, approaches Slorb. "Sse-sse-sse-sse-Slorb? There's something I've always wanted to ask you. Did you hurt your ear from the power of Chief's voice?"
Gecko eats from a nearby tree.
"Hurrrrrrum. We wait for him."
"He's busy, is he?" Gutspiller asked Slorb.
She pulled out Toad, her toad companion. "And what do you think, Toad? Is he really too busy to see me? Oh, what's a poor girl to do now that she's all dressed up?"
She eyed the others. Rumple Stickskin seemed very impressive, all muscley and riding on his wolf. So well spoken... and eager to please!
Cara Jos was next. His nose is clean, and he has patience. Patience to plot, patience to plan? Perhaps after Rumple?
The only other so far was Alphonse. He has power, unlike the rest. How can I take it from him?
Gutspiller licked Toad, seeking answers in her "commune".
*low growl*
Fingernipper comes into view. Boomstick over one shoulder and rubbing sleep out of his eyes.
Sorry me late. Me sleep in. What chief want?
Morat, being relatively new in town, stands off to the side, waiting for his opportunity to join the conversation. He is a bit concerned about being called to the chief's house, as he does not hold any position of respect amongst the Licktoads. After hearing a few goblins make their presence known, he sidles over to Rumple, who appears the most stable, and says I'm Morat. What are we supposed to be doing here?
Slorb will perk up at the sight of Morat. Again in his high pitched nasal voice, "OK ok ok ok... Time for you all to come see the mighty chief. It is great honor, pay some respect. Go inside and sit."
Upon entering the hut you will notice Chief Gutwad sitting upon his teeter chair. He is a corpulent goblin who sits tall and looks at you as you enter. Slorb will motion for you to sit in the dirt in front of the chief(a great honor!).
To your great surprise and shock, the chief speaks to you directly in a deep, booming voice. "You all be heroes. Each of you. You are best Licktoads but for me. And maybe but for Slorb. That you aren't fleeing in terror from mighty sound of my voice is all the proof you should need. Yet soon, all Licktoad goblins will know your might, for I have picked you for a dangerous miss."
Shifting in his chair he continues, "You know about fireworks and map we found in Scribbleface's hut. Fireworks were fun. But map is more fun. It shows a route to a place near the coast where Scribbleface found fireworks. And it says there are more fireworks there! I want them for Licktoads. You all go get them tomorrow. Tonight we have big bonfire to burn bad luck away from you, and we play many games. Much fun. Tomorrow you fetch me fireworks."
Standing up in his chair, "If you meet men, you make them dead. If you meeet dogs, you make them dead. If you meet horses, you make them dead. If you meet Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, you maybe should run. And if you not find fireworks, you not come back or we feed you to Squely Nord!"
With this the chief sits back down and motions to Slorb. Slorb turns to you and says, "Ok time for you to go... Don't be late to the bonfire."
Rumple begins to speak to Morat before they are summoned into the throne room. "We be here for the greatest honor and the highly- INWARD!"
He rushes into the room, first again, and slides off of Pyhrra into the dirt, bowing deeply before Gutwad before sitting down.
After the announcement of their mission, Rumple stands and bows deeply again. "By my honor, a very honorable honor indeed, we honorably will bring the most honorable fireworks here for you honor! HONORWARD!" He rushes back out of the hut, leaping onto Pyhrra...
quite gracefully!
Fingernipper listens intently to the Chief. Upon hearing the mission, he grins evilly and pats his boomstick.
'You no worry Chief. We get fireworks. No one stop us, or we make them dead."
He heads outside to prepare his gear for tomorrow and get ready for the evening's bonfire.
Gecko does not quite fit in the hut. Alphonse stands near the entrance during the meeting, and is the first to leave. He seems deep in contemplation.
Why was I not there for the fireworks?
Gutspiller's musings were interrupted by Slorb's announcement that they could go in and see the Chief.
He big Chief, him best of all these!
Entering the Chief's hut, she did her best to attract Chief Gutwad's eye without really paying attention to what he was saying - until she heard the part about not coming back or being fed to Squely Nord.
Who he think he is, that he can give me - ME?! - that kind of threat? He not best, him WORST of all these! When I come back, me show him and light all fireworks in his stupid hut!
Flouncing out of the chief's hut, she turned to her new gang.
"What this 'honor' you keep saying, Rumple? 'Honor' what men say. We stick, we burn men. We not need 'honor'. I not think it means what you think it means."
Cara Jos stands up slowly and wait until everybody is inside to enter into the hut. He listens carefully and looks around trying to determine dangers. When everybody left the hut, He does the same and follows to the group.
Morat continues his observation, still unsure about his role in all this. He is one of the last to leave, saying nothing more than As you wish, sir.
After you all exit the hut Slorb will come out. "Here is the map... be sure not to lose it, or feed it to squely nord. Also if you have any questions, I don't care figure it out. Chief think you are great, I think you are a waste of time." He hands the map to Cara Jos.
With that Slorb walks back in the hut and slams the door.
Morat is a little confused as to why Slorb gave Cara Jos the map. He asks, politely, Um...Do you know how to use that? Or would you rather I take it? I'm very good at using maps.
Alphonse bumbles towards Cara Jos.
"Maps? I know maps. Show me the map."
Seeing the others with the map, Fingernipper comes over to inspect the map.
"What show on map? Where we go kill?"
Cara Jos reaches out and takes the map. Don´t worry, Morat and Alphonse. Let´s get fun, later we will check the map. Cara Jos keeps the map and pretends a smile. Really, let´s get fun!
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Rumple ignores any of the conversation concerning the map. He looks at Guts sharply as she speaks disparagingly of his all-important honor.
"Mish Gutspiller!" he says in a tone of haughty indignation "If you speak sick of mine honor in a second time the consekoo-, the counswak- the results will never be the same again ever." He stops talking as he isn't sure of what he's actually saying, but feels that he put up a pretty convincing argument as to why one shouldn't question his honor.
"And, Guts, my words always mean eggs sackedly what I want them." With these words he rides off, nose in the air.
This answer seems to satisfy Alphonse, who waddles off toward Morat, Pyrrha, Gutspiller and Toad, Gecko close behind him.
"What going on? Did Lady Witchlady tell you your wolf is dumb, or did you tell her frog is boring?"
He seems to believe he is helping.
"I say 'honor' a man-thing and not for goblins. But he very angry about it, is big fire in him. That good: Toad and me like fire. Wolf very wolfy, to. We like wolf."
"Where we get fun, Cara? Chief said big fire and party tonight. That always fun."
"Let´s find the big fire."
Alphonse contemplates the meaning of Gutspiller's words. "I not know the meaning and purpose of honor. I say it is a man thing, for now."
Not long after leaving the chiefs hut, you will notice the whole village is building the bonfire. They seem to be taking pieces of what remains of scribbleface's hut and bringing them all to the center of the village. The mass of timber is astonishing, towering over everyone in the village to a startling 5 feet high.
As night falls a group of four struggling goblins carry the Teeter chair, with chief Gutwad sitting atop it, out to the bonfire location. He pulls out a candle looking device that proceeds to shoot fire out of it lighting the giant fire. This signals the start of an all-night party for the entire village. Everyone starts bringing out various foods and drinks, and starts to party.
The chief has the four goblins who carried him out go back to his hut and they reappear dragging a barrel. This barrel is full of the chiefs most famous cider apples. The goblins dragging them out already have apples in their mouths, and seem to be slightly drunk already.
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Gutspiller "oooh-ed" appropriately at Chief Gutwad's firework. The bright flare of fire and sharp smell of burnt powder tickled her senses and roared through her blood.
Suddenly possessed of a need to "sing", she climbed up on a rock in the middle of the village.
"Aaaiiiiiaagh!" she screamed. "You all listen, 'cause I sing you great song of how great goblins is!
We be goblins, wreck-their-homes!
We be goblins, crack-their-bones!
We be goblins, stab-their-eyes!
We be goblins, hear-their-cries!
We be goblins, smash-their-teeth!
We be goblins, burn-their-heath!
We be goblins, kill-their-mutts!
We be goblins, SPILL! THEIR! GUTS!"
At the final verse, she drew a wicked-looking dagger and stabbed and slashed the air as disembowlling an enemy. When finished, she sheathed her dagger again, jumped off the rock, and grabbed the biggest, most full cup of liquor she saw and guzzled it back. Excess booze splashed her ragged dress, and when finished she smashed the cup on the ground.
Yelling out "Now, all you goblins, we have great big party!" she belched.
Rumple, as disapproving as he is of Gutspillers lack of regard for honor, still is impressed with the goblin song... He nevertheless tries to be haughty and ignore her. Riding over to the largest barrel of booze, he and Pyhrra attempt to drain the entirety of it together. If Rumple is unable to finish it, he will grow angry at the offense to his personal strength of character, and will attempt to use his Challenge ability on the drink, and then will stab at the barrel until it breaks. Rumple plans to be a guest of Honor, and he feels very strongly about Honor, and he knows he needs to get his drink on to be a proper guest.
Fingernipper eyes glaze over at the sight of so much fire. He begins to drool slightly.
Alphonse hops up and down, giddy at the sight of fire. A barrel of cider is dropped near the goblin, and he practically dives in, eager to drink and make merry. "Gecko! Here! Apples. They be good."
The dinosaur seems unwilling at first, but after smelling the alcohol, eats three or four of them.
Alphonse, very drunk, streaks, his tongue lolling about manically as he exposes himself.
Cara Jos starts to dance moving his hands in the air and jumping from left to right while Gutspiller sings. When the song ended he looks for a cup of cider apple and drinks it. Then he continues dancing with others songs. He is happy, but he can´t smile.
Between song and song, he drinks more cider.
Morat, being more hobgoblin in attitude, only consumes enough cider apples to get buzzed. He stays aloof, avoiding too much social interaction.
At some point a few goblins will approach you talking with each other, one of them turn to you and say "Is it troo? are you really going on a special mission? You must be strong, but are you brave enough?" They all snicker at this comment.
A female goblin looks at all of you and spurts out "If you're so great then I dare you to dance with Squely Nord!!!" With that they all gasp. The entire camp gets quiet. The village of goblins now all stare at you waiting for your response to the dare.
Morat can handle it. But he doesn't care to dance.
I´ll dance, I´ll dance... Yes! I will dance...
Fingernipper, never one to turn down a dare, turns away from the hypnotic dance of the flames.
"I be the bravest of the bravy brave. No dance scare Fingernipper."
Gutspiller felt joyously dizzy from her great song and the liquor. Seeing one of the Chief's cider apples, she pounced on it and devoured the hapless fruit.
When the challenge was issued for her new... friends... to dance with Squely Nord, she was furious.
Wobbling over to the challenger, she slurred out angrily, "Youu juss' jell's I get so many great gob'ins tooo mysel'. An' if youu thing they like youu bedder, I'll burn youu up good!"
Rumple isn't sickened, although he has drunk a rather silly amount of alcohol, and is quite sloshed. At the demand for dancing with Squely Nord, Rumple becomes rather furious. He rides tipsily over to the goblin who spoke and looks down off of an equally tipsy Pyhrra with disdain, next to Gutspiller.
"The great don' need dansh with SHQUELY!" He shrieks. "We otts to throw you to Squeleh Nurd OURSHELVESH for sush dishonor!" He points his sticker at the offending goblin and waves it drunkenly from side to side, eyes bulging with fury.
The goblin looks at Rumple, then says "O the big wolf goblin must be scared then, its ok Mr. Cara Jos or musket-ear will be the best I am sure of it." with a smile they will guide those two goblins over to the other side of town. A few are left waiting for Alphonse to respond.
"I," proclaims Alphonse, "whill dansche with yuu, Lady Wichlady."
He bows, and offers a hand Gutspiller, still very drunk and very naked.
"But ONLY if Gecko danschesh with Frogg."
Gutspiller drunkenly eyed the naked and equally drunk Alphonse. "Issss yu propa... propasi... propashooo... propasishununing me, Fonse? Cusssss, I dance, but yu godda put sumthin onna, firsss...."
Gutspiller drunkenly eyed the naked and equally drunk Alphonse. "Issss yu propa... propasi... propashooo... propasishununing me, Fonse? Cusssss, I dance, but yu godda put sumthin onna, firsss...."
"I am wearin shoes, Lady Wichlady."
Cara Jos follows the path to the other side of town repeating constantly "Dance, dance, dance..."
the goblin takes you over to the muddy pit in the center of the village. On one side you see Squely nord, a angry looking piglet, tethered up. In this game you will have to attempt to stay on the pig's back for 18 seconds. All of you may attempt as may times as you would like. 18 seconds is three rounds so you will need to make ride checks for each round.
A young goblin comes up to Fingernipper and says "O mister, you're me favorite. pretty please win." with her broken smile.
Rumple a few more goblins join in making fun of you for not trying the dare, and they also start to make fun of the rest of you.
"Uhh? You laffin? You laffin!" He attempts to whistle, trying to grab the attention of Gecko, who pulls his head out of a barrel of cider apples, and stamps on over.
"You shtill laffin? I gotsch a BEEEEG buddy."
Gecko, drunk and mouth full of slosh, appears to be foaming at the mouth.
His chest puffs up with confidence as he spits at the feet of those laughing. Gecko lows deeply.
"Fnyaaaaah!" He sticks his nose up at those who laugh at him.
Fingernipper grins at the young goblin.
"I be the bestest rider ever. I ride Squely Nord, no problem.
He walks over to the pig to make his attempt.
"Giddy up"
Ride Round 1:
Ride Round 2:
Ride Round 3: