They be goblins, you be food... why are they so weird, dude?
That's what the W.D.G.F.F. (Western Duchy Goblin Fighting Force) first Reconnaissance and Strike Crew, aka "Gob Smash One" (that's you) have been sent to find out, in the barren mana wastes beyond the edge of the Duchy near the border of Geb in an ancient abandoned outpost called Hightower...
Important Notes on First Events
- Armor Provided by the W.D.G.F.F. (and equipment list, but see below)
- More comprehensive list of items and stat-values
- Wartrained Alkenstar Mountain Donkey stats (And slight correction)
- W.D.G.F.F. Training Boons Note, all uniforms have the Shield of Alkenstar with a blue-colored dragon behind it on more than one place. The blue-colored dragon is a bit unusual: it's not one with an easily recognizably "chromatic (blue)" dragon-face or even body (though most is covered by the shield), nor is it the serpentine eastern "imperial (sky)" or "imperial (sea)" dragons in form or style, though there are elements that remind of all of these to an extent. The armors have a similar sigil etched in at least one or two places, though you determine where. Shield marshals (should we have any; it looks like we do not, however, which is fine) have an honoring gold star added to the bottom center of the shield.
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CURRENT MEMBERS OF "Gob Smash One" Tallfolk (for now, hee-hee)
- "Sunny" the island elf brawler Riding Horse; (Player: Susnet, or ')
- Beylinda Chumana the aasimar dervish Riding NEMO; (Player: Algar Lysandrius)
- Eris Kaddren the human sorceress (and Kallisti the fox) Riding Inconvenience; (Player: Jon the Unlucky; Eolgrin Kalderon)
Weapons (small-sized, included in the stats below)
Masterwork Dogslicer [1d4, 19-20/x2, 1/2 lb., S; deadly, disarm] <light> {15 g}
Masterwork Tonfa [1d4, x2, 1/2 lbs, B; blocking, monk] <light>
Masterwork Horsechopper [1d8, 18-20/x4, 6 lbs., P or S; brace, reach, trip] <two-handed> {20 g}
Masterwork Boarding pike, double [1d6/1d6, x3, 6 lb., P; brace, disarm, double, reach, trip] <two-hand> {50 g}; gain a +2 shield bonus to AC v. a charge when set
Crossbow, light (underwater) [1d6, 19-20, 80 ft. range, 2 lb.] <ranged> {70 g}; can fire underwater with a range increment of 10 ft.; has a special trap-compartment that can hold small things in the stock (currently, it has vicious caltrops; adds 2 lbs. additional weight, not included)
Boarding Pike (medium) [1d8 P, x3; 4.5 lbs.; brace, reach, trip; 1,098 gold]
Boarding Pike (small) [1d6 P, x3; 2 lbs.; brace, reach, trip; 1,053 gold]
* Leprosy: (on a hit, or once per year while held) DC 15 Leprosy
* Greenblood: (on a critical) DC 15 v. Greeblood Oil
* Trip: unlike normal boarding pikes, the hooks on these can be used as if the weapon had the Trip special weapon quality, if the wielder is proficient in martial weapons.
* 30 hp, hardness 10 (head); 10 hp, hardness 5 (shaft)
Armor (small-sized, included in the stats below)
Magical Gob-Gobble <mundane stats> [AC +4, max dex +4, acp none, asf 15%, 7 lbs] (41 g); move action to don/remove instead of normal time
NOTE: see "nasty-looking hide armor" below for magical properties
NOTE: identifying the magical properties would note that this is traditionally named a "gob-gobble" armor which translates to "<murder cuirasse>" or "<murder coat>" - it's a bit vague, really.
Other (small-sized, included in the stats below; potion-size irrelevant to effect)
Masterwork Backback Box; contains 18 potions (though there's something unusual about them) of Polypurpose Panacea (CL 1st)
Half-eaten clothes boots, belts, blankets, bedrolls, and rags
Shattered tools sticks and trap-making tools
Kit of graded body paints in various shades of flat greens, browns, grays, blacks, and sandy or clay colors; only three uses remaining
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Unique Magic Items
Headband (claimed by Lulu):
Headband of the Stout Heart wrote:
Headband of the Stout Heart Aura faint Abjuration; CL 1st
Slot headband; Price 350; Weight -
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DESCRIPTION
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This simple leather headband is studded with small iron rivets.
This headband grants the wearer a +1 bonus on all Will saves.
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CONSTRUCTION REQUIREMENTS
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Craft Wondrous Item, resistance; Cost 175 gp.
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Ring (claimed by Lulu):
Ring of Endless Wonder wrote:
Ring of Endless Wonder Aura faint Universal; CL 1st
Slot ring; Price 900; Weight -
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DESCRIPTION
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This ring looks a little ridiculous or garish but still pretty as it slowly siphons through various colors.
Each day at sunrise (or equivalent) or whenever the ring is first put on, roll 1d8. The primary color of the ring shifts, as noted below, and gives off a pleasant sensation (mild emotion and flavor), according to the color, though these do not control the wearer in any way and are entirely pleasant. Even though the primary color changes, it subtly glints with all of the other colors as well. When the ring is not worn, it shifts anyway.
d8 - color - emotion and flavor
1) red - passion and tart
2) orange - relaxation and tang
3) yellow - zest and sour
4) green - delight and sharp
5) blue - effusiveness and sweet
6) indigo - endless energy and salty
7) violet - satisfaction and delicious
8) rainbow - all of the above
Additionally, roll a % dice - the results of this dice grant you a single spell-like effect, based on the color you generated for the day. If 50% or less, the ring allows the user to generate a single effect from prestidigitation at will, as noted below. If 50%-75%, the ring allows the user to generate a single effect from polypurpose panacea once per day, as noted below. If 76-99%, the ring allows the user to generate the single polypurpose panacea effect at will instead. If 100%, the weilder may choose up to two effects from either chart to use at will. If the color indicates two effects, you may use both once per day or both at will.
Prestidigitation:
Red: warm 1 pound of non-living material
Orange: slowly lift 1 pound of material
Yellow: soil a 1 ft. cube each round
Green: create small objects (crude, artificial, cannot be used as tools, weapons, or spell-components)
Blue: chill 1 pound of non-living material
Indigo: flavor 1 pound of non-living material
Violet: clean a 1 ft. cube each round
Rainbow: color a 1 ft. cube each round (any color)
Polypurpose Panacea:
Red (Wakefulness): You remain awake for 2 hours without feeling sleepy, and without side effects such as jitteriness. You gain a +5 resistance bonus against sleep-related spells such as lullaby and sleep. This use of the panacea merely delays your need for sleep and does not count as rest or sleep. You can use it multiple times in succession, but as each effect wears off, you are as tired as you would be had you not used the panacea.
Orange (Sleep): You enter a pleasant and restful sleep for at least 1 hour unless wakened. If you would normally begin sleeping at this time, when the panacea ends you continue sleeping normally.
Yellow (Intoxication or Sobriety): If you choose intoxication, you feel comfortably intoxicated for 1 hour, as if you had a few alcoholic beverages. If you choose sobriety, you become completely sober for 1 hour, negating any penalties to your actions for being drunk (GameMastery Guide 237). Magical and alchemical methods (such as detect poison) still detect you as inebriated. Time spent under the effect of this panacea do not count toward the time necessary to sober up (it merely delays your intoxication). You may choose either effect so long as this color is active.
Green (Resistance): You gain a +1 resistance bonus on saves for 1 minute.
Blue (Tenacity): You gain 1 temporary hit point for 1 minute.
Indigo (Analgesic): You do not feel minor aches and pains, such as from arthritis, a cold, or a hangover, for 1 hour. For the duration, you gain a +2 resistance bonus against pain-related spells.
Violet (Hallucination): You have pleasant hallucinations for 1 hour, such as wandering lights, music, playful surreal animals, and so on. You can tell these are not real, but they are distracting, and you take a –2 penalty on Perception checks for the duration.
Rainbow (Clarity or Lucid Dream): If you choose clarity, you get a +1 competence bonus on a single attack roll, saving throw, or skill check within 1 minute. You must choose to use the bonus before making the roll to which it applies. If you choose lucid dream within 1 hour of going to sleep, you have a lucid dream that is under your control and lasts for an hour. You may freely choose so long as rainbow is the primary color.
The ring's benefits and effects only function in direct sunlight or in the hands of a spellcaster.
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CONSTRUCTION REQUIREMENTS
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Forge Ring, polypurpose panacea, prestidigitation; Cost 450 gp.
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Nasty-Looking Hide Armor (see below for magical properties)
Magical Armor <mundane stats> [AC +4, max dex +4, acp none, asf 15%, 7 lbs] (41 g)
NOTE: move action to don/remove instead of normal time
NOTE: identifying the magical properties would note that this is traditionally named a "gob-gobble" armor which translates to something similar to either "<murder cuirasse>" or "<murder coat>" - it's a bit vague, really.
Nasty-looking Hide Armor (unclaimed):
Otyugh Murder Coat wrote:
Otyugh Hide Aura faint evocation; CL 5th
Slot armor; Price 2,600; Weight 10 lbs.
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DESCRIPTION
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This muddy brown armor carries a fetid stench like raw sewage, and occasionally sprouts angry and uncomfortable-looking blisters. Creatures other than the wearer are repulsed by the armor's vile putridity.
Any creature ending its turn adjacent to the wearer becomes sickened (Fortitude DC 13 negates) for as long as it remains adjacent to the wearer and for 1 round thereafter. A creature that strikes the wearer with a bite attack is affected the same way, even if it possesses exceptional reach and attacks while not adjacent to the wearer. If the wearer is swallowed whole, the attacker is automatically sickened and must succeed at a DC 13 Fortitude save at the beginning of its turn or be forced to regurgitate and drop the wearer harmlessly in an adjacent square (though the wearer is knocked prone during the regurgitation). Creatures with the scent ability suffer a –2 penalty to their saving throw against the stench of the otyugh armor. These abilities are poison effects; creatures immune to poison are immune to these effects as well. The wearer is immune to this effect. The wearer gains a +2 competence bonus on saves against disease, poison, and any effect that would cause her to become nauseated or sickened.
This is otherwise a +1 masterwork murder cuirasse sized for a small creature; it is unique to the alien goblin culture, though other more "normal" goblins have been seen sporting them recently, too.
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CONSTRUCTION REQUIREMENTS
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Craft Staff, contagion, stinking cloud; Cost 1,400 gp.
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Wrist Sheath (unclaimed):
Wrist Sheath of Peerless Weaponry wrote:
Wrist Sheath of Peerless Weaponry Aura faint Transmutation; CL 1st
Slot none; Price 125; Weight 1/2 lb.
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DESCRIPTION
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This strange looking wrist-sheath is made of weird-looking dark mottled green leather, almost camouflage-like.
In addition to functioning like a normal spring-loaded wrist sheathe, once per day, the weapon that is released is affected as if by magic weapon for 1 round. This is sized for a medium creature.
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CONSTRUCTION REQUIREMENTS
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Craft Wondrous Item, magic weapon; Cost 65 gp.
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Staff (claimed by Dijiron and/or Ceru):
Staff of Deepest Terror wrote:
Staff of Darkest Dread Aura faint Enchantment and Necromancy; CL 1st
Slot none; Price 475; Weight 3 lbs.
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DESCRIPTION
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This bleak looking staff of gnarled blackish wood holds all sorts of heavy strange fetishes and dreadful-looking elements. It's also rather juvenile in its craftsmanship, with conflicting (all poorly done) art styles and crude renderings of bad things happening to figures (often stick figures, where comprehensible) carved into the side.
The staff allows use of the following spells:
bleed (2 charges) - from the icky pierce leather fetish splashed with an ugly red
haunted fey aspect (2 charges) - from the fetid ribbon fetish tinted an unpleasant blue
penumbra (2 charges) - from the fraying net fetish painted a boring gray
putrify food and drink (2 charges) - from the nasty-smelling pouch fetish painted an sickening yellow
touch of fatigue (2 charges) - from the disgusting-looking rock fetish partially bleached an eye-tiring white
bane (3 charges) - from the disguiting skull fetish inked in creepy black
doom (3 charges) - from the encrusted mirror-shard fetish covered with a dubious brown
The DCs are all 1 lower than normal, and the item does not function in direct sunlight or in the hands of a non-spellcaster. The wielder must eat twice as much any day it is used, and must make a DC 9 will save each day or suffer a negative level for 1d4 rounds. The temperature around item is 10° F cooler than normal.
Each fetish holds one or two of the staff's charges - the loss of a fetish (generally held by a leather thong - generally a hardness of 2; 1 hp; and a base AC of 11; increase this AC by +5, and apply a weilder's dexterity modifier if the wielder doesn't wish to have them severed) reduces the total charges the staff can hold by 1 or 2 until the fetish is repaired. The bleed, haunted fey aspect, penumbra, putrify food and drink, and touch of fatigue fetishes each hold 1 charge; while the bane and doom fetishes each hold 2 charges. Even if all the fetishes are destroyed the staff can hold 1 charge and remains a magic item... but not a very useful one.
The staff can be used as a quarterstaff, but is not masterwork in design. The fetishes also make an additional and odd weight distribution (increasing the weight by 1 lb.), imposing a -1 attack penalty while they are attached.
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CONSTRUCTION REQUIREMENTS
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Craft Staff, cause fear; Cost 241 gp.
What we have here, is a serious kind of situation!
There are goblins! I repeat! There are goblins!
Now, I don't know how "you people" think about them - wherever you come from - but 'round the mana wastes - yes, Reb, it is technically the "Grand Duchy of Alkenstar" - *mutters* spoiled brat politician's son *gumble*, that is some serious business! Goblins are to be terminated with extreme prejudice! And we make sure that if they do stay around, they ain't happy!
So you are now reporting for duty - because I said so, that's why! - that the militia of Shan-town - no, I don't care what it sounds like in Elven, Reb, shut up and get in line, or so help me - and it is your job to do whatever I say! What-ever I say! Immediately!
You may not have signed up for this, but I. don't. care.
Whether you wanted this or not, you have now stepped in it very well and good, and take a long, hard whiff right through the nose, ladies, because it's. not. getting. better.
I am now your lord-high god and commander!
I am the one who controls your destiny, your thought, and your bodily functions! You heard me right: you do not take a crap without my say-so!
If I say, "I shine my shoes", you shine them until I've got a new pair of blinding shields on my feet!
If I say, "Jump," you had best be jumpin' before I manage to finish my sentence with, "-rope are needed for your trainin'" - WHY AREN'T YOU JUMPIN'?!?! ... that's better!
If I say, "Stay here until I say otherwise." you will die before you leave that spot! Do I make myself clear?!
...
...
... you have a question, ... Reb?
Are you stupid?! Don't be stupid!! Goblins can't control minds! They're savages! Dumb, stupid savages! Dangerous, but because of their fire!
*grumble* deliver me from this mortal coil that I need not put up with such stupidit-
...*wheeze* that... that wasn't a command, Reb... *gag*
~ the last words of Drill Sergeant Q. Miller as Private Reb B. ran him through with a spear, as recorded by a Stone of Recall during the Great Goblin Invasion of Shan-town, five weeks past.
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When Shan-town - on the very edge of the Grand Duchy of Alkenstar - was first assaulted by goblins, none thought it was too serious. I mean, really, they were goblins - good for killing, and not much else, though, sure, if you didn't kill them quickly, they could be deadly, sure. Even the fact that they looked a bit odd didn't bother too much - after all, the sky was blue, the water was blue, and the mana wastes produced mutants who may as well have been blue, too.
When the militia began murdering their commanders, however, things started to be taken more seriously. That, combined with the complete lack of fire-use or traditional goblin songs has led many sages to speculate that something exceedingly strange is afoot - about the only thing these goblins do similarly to how any expect is eat the dead.
In the subsequent weeks, the goblin-war has been a serious problem for the western edge of the Duchy.
It is because of this that people from all walks of life - even those passing through, and some of the Shield Marshals (though some have volunteered) - that seem to have any reasonable degree of competence have recently been more or less forcefully been drafted into the military and, though many are unhappy, they're getting fair wage, the ability to loot dead goblins, and promise of promotion or freedom after the war - looking, thankfully, brief - is over.
Fortuitously for the Duchy, Amita Narahari, a brilliant-if-slightly mad sage from Vudra, had rather badly underestimated the wild magic of the mana wastes, and has found herself stuck in the Western region of the Grand Duchy of Alkenstar (originally aiming for Jalmeray, she missed), and her vast knowledge of bio-alchemical alteration, training, and military strategy has been able to turn the Shield Marshals and recently formed W.D.G.F.F. (Western Duchy Goblin Fighting Force) - the latter of which was founded on her suggestion - into a viable enough force to fight off the strange goblins. (She's assured all involved that and strange effects are strictly temporary. She thinks.)
As it turns out, she's recently discovered that blue is the key to defeating blue... or something; though it's possible that she's just making it up, it's certainly seemed effective so far, and, as a result, everyone has been equipped with a small selection of cracked magical rocks, blue whinnis poison (despite the fact that the concoction is mostly a pale-green, she insists that it works), and special uniforms made from a strange blue material recently uncovered. (See equipment.)
You lot have been thrown together in a haphazard fashion, "rigorously trained" for all of two days, in which you were temporarily hopped up on some rather powerful alchemical and magical enhancements and forced to read all you can about strike missions (through a magic ring shared between you), then, after a day of bed-rest, given a mission: go find the Hightower and ensure that it's been cleared of the goblin menace. Sadly, the alchemical and magical enhancements have faded and the ring was reclaimed by the forces that mandated you use it for two days anyway. You more or less "woke up" out of a foggy mental haze a couple of hours away from Hightower... a journey of weeks, with very little memory or what actually occurred on the way there, and what memory you do have being very hazy.
You don't really have much choice, considering you're both stuck here and kind of magically compelled to follow orders (and will be for another... week, from what you can tell, at least). Fortunately, your orders are at least somewhat vague - you just have to go, check for goblins, do your best to kill any goblins and stop any plans they have, and, after that's completed, report back, presuming you're capable of doing so.
Sounds easy. Looks easy. There's probably not even any real danger, since Hightower's been abandoned ever since a new Mana Well began spewing its weirdness out there... but that never happens anymore either. Probably.
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any class whatsoever, preferably something fun (for you)
hit points are determined at 1st level (max) 1/2 dice+1 at each level thereafter (round down); ex: d6 is 3.5+1 (or lvl 1 [6 hp] lvl 2 [+4 hp] lvl 3 [+5 hp] lvl 4 [+4 hp], etc.)
for now, let's say you're starting at 2nd level, though I may switch that to 3rd level - we'll see (if several already-third-level characters come in, it'll be 3rd indeed)
either way, you'll start with 3,000 gold; however, tell me what you're going for armor-wise/play style-wise, and I'll provide something similar as part of your enforced recent training
we're not using an XP system, but we're going to be leveling according to adventure's completed ("at the speed of plot" in other words) - your rewards will be based on story, treasure, and non-tangibles; potential level is up to sixth
don't worry about this being a "GM controls character" because other than, "go, find, kill/stop goblins, report if possible" you have no other strict commands and... well, let's just say it won't last anyway; despite the fact that there are some things that are planned, and this is for a relatively short set of adventures made for the lulz, this can be made more expansive and serious, if there's enough interest. I don't guarantee that there is.
two traits
two additional skills chosen from craft, perform, or profession; these are in addition to your normal skills for your class and intelligence
because there's been a great deal of interest in the small races thing, and I can use that for story-purposes, allow me to present a semi-comprehensive (to the best of my knowledge) list:
