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Riktukk very proud to be Pathfinder! See many fellow goblinkind share unique skills with Pathfinder Society! Want to hear what adventures others been up to, so Riktukk start this four-room as place where many stories can be told and toasts made. Allkind welcome! Come, share stories about friends you make.
OK, Riktukk start... [steps confidently up to front of small stage in bar]
Riktukk Champion of CeeCee. Riktukk used to work at armory for not-so-nices, forced to stay for no reason. Riktukk and buddies get drunk one night, talk about how they make daring escape one day. Then, glowing longshanks appear and say he help us, trust and do what he say. Seem like good enough plan, so we does and now we free! Riktukk now travel where CeeCee says, liberate others and have great adventures.
Many good adventures so far. Meet nice pirate-captain-lady Cellophane and have great bar party. Let forest spirit dance in head and see spider-cat. Riktukk even make not-enemies with horse, to help new friends escape dead-not-deads land. It very challenging, had to muster all Riktukk's Will, but horse only eat oats and not Riktukk's hand.
What other stories we have?!
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A tall thin goblin in well maintained leather armour, wearing a wide brimmed floppy hat and a wolfskin cloak stands up. Please, Ritukk, there is no need to adopt that unnecessary and stilted accent. You speak common as well as anyone else in this room. Do not feel compelled to adopt humanocentric cultural norms for our species.
I am Nox, greatest goblin Wizard to have ever set foot on Absalom. I travelled here in the company of the Lastwall refugees and was instrumental in saving them from the hordes of Tar-Baphon, accursed be his name!
What you longshanks fail to appreciate is that the short lifespan of a goblin means that our societies are far more malleable, we can adapt to new realties much more quickly. Those of us who have had the chance to live without fear, oppression or the constant risk of being killed by over eager "adventurers", or to give them their correct title, Murderers, have been able to develop art, literature and magic. No longer shall we be shackled to externally imposed cultural norms about reading, dogs and horses.
My fellow goblins, throw off your old superstitions and take your place proudly in this New World Order where goblins can live free from the threat of random murder by homicidal humans and their longshank allies. The Society gives us a chance to show our worth and our strength even if some elements still think it is funny to send us on missions involving dogs and horses.
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I am Dwapook, goblin thief. I mean goblin hero. Dwapook has small time pathfinder trip in Abslum. Saw loud humans, angry goblins, and statues. Then Dwapook met scar body man. After that, Dwapook go to spooky house, and creepo ghost monsters chase us away.
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Heyou! Is goblin medic! Me even have my own medical kit, made by myself! Some say it look like I am rubbing dirt into the wound, but it really powerful poultice. Really good soil! Very little night soil, so don’t you worry.
Heyou! Get his name honestly. When I was a little goblin, everyone always say, ”Hey you! Get out of there! Hey you! Don’t eat that!” and so forth, so I figure that must be my name!
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I, Wabo, have just been initiated as a full Hellknight of the Gobclaw, with all the rank that comes with it. I look forward to uplifting my traditionally savage people, and giving those ancestries oppressed by some voices of Law to have a say in our orders. The Gobclaw Initiative is always recruiting those of so-called 'unusual' peoples to join the Measure and Chain! I have pamphlets right here - pictographical, if you prefer.
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Looking about at the gathering crowd and not seeing much that resembles her own Sarenite acolyte's garb, Sara exclaims "Well, I guess Sister Khismia was right when she would say 'It takes all kinds!' May the blessings of Flame ever be with you, brothers and sisters."
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I, Wabo, have just been initiated as a full Hellknight of the Gobclaw, with all the rank that comes with it. I look forward to uplifting my traditionally savage people, and giving those ancestries oppressed by some voices of Law to have a say in our orders. The Gobclaw Initiative is always recruiting those of so-called 'unusual' peoples to join the Measure and Chain! I have pamphlets right here - pictographical, if you prefer.
Hooray Wabo, Goblin Knight! *raises his silver holy symbol (mug) in toast* Riktukk hope to be Knight of Lastwall someday, proudly carry on memory of heroic sacrifice of fellow goblin Gibb Potsmasher in Golden Flame town. For now, Riktukk just sentry, but learning lots.
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Neeyo wander away from whelping pens when Neeyo little! Neeyo explored rolly thing with horses! Neeyo found sack of potatoes and ate them ALL! Then nap! Then got kicked! Spent *long* time with Mister Jacobi, who only hit Neeyo when Neeyo bad! Teach Neeyo how to walk tightrope, tumble, flip!
Then BAD people burn down Mister Jacobi's wagon! Big longshanks, black armor! Smell *bad*. Neeyo hunt them down! Neeyo cunning goblin! Neeyo get lost. Big longshanks sneaky! Neeyo impressed! But sad. Then Neeyo see other people poke burned wagon. Start following other people, they less sneaky. They talk-talk-talk too much! Neeyo move around behind BAD longshanks and cut horses, scare them, chase away! Too-talky-longshanks *still* too talky, so Neeyo climb tree and shoot! Finally fight break out between longshanks. Neeyo helps.
Talky-longshanks called Pathfinders! One gives Neeyo card. Neeyo hungry and eat it. They laugh. Neeyo laugh! Neeyo says he no home, they say he can come with. Neeyo train hard with Pathfinders! Smash with tail! Shoot with bow! STAB WITH SWORD!
Mister Farabellos call Neeyo a smartass! Neeyo's ass not smart, Neeyo's ass is strong!
Neeyo clever! With Pathfinders, go to place with lots sand! Find fake Pathfinder there! We convince fake Pathfinder become real pathfinder after Neeyo taste his papers and find them same as real Pathfinder papers! Give him card, like Neeyo got!
Now Neeyo have *MINION!* MUAHAHAHAHAH!
Also have friend centipededepeedpes! Crunchy and yum!
Away from the goblins.
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Oy, some of us are here as a bit o' reciprocity for the assistance the Society has given the Family.
Just remember, if you end up in trouble, you has some of the best legal representation from your friendly neighbourhood Goblins.
Now, if they would quit sending me out treking though the wilderness...
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I am Vortch. My entire village moved from the Mushfens to Oprak when it was formed, lured by the hobgoblins' words about "a country for the oppressed monsters of Golarion". Oprak, however, is no paradise. We were constantly beset by giants, drakes, and other foul creatures. We called upon the hobgoblins for help, and they LAUGHED at our elders, my mother amongst them! When we returned, our new village had been destroyed, the people scattered.
Now a dark hate festers in my heart. For all the big folk who think they can boss around and make fun of those smaller and weaker than themselves! For Giants, for HOBGOBLINS, Vortch feels nothing but RAGE!
My mother sent me to Absalom, to the Society, hoping that seeing kinder big folk would soothe my wrathful heart. And, in a way, it has. Many of those who other goblins call "Longshanks", I now call friend. My worship of Gorum, hoping he would aid me in my battle against persecutors has waned. I have discovered a love for the natural world, and the Green Faith. I've also discovered a goddess named Milani, who seems more attuned to my outlook.
Do not get me wrong. I still tap into my fury in combat. It still burns as bright, in the heat of memory of wrongs done to me and mine. And woe to the giant or hobgobline that crosses my path.
But, outside of the fight, I'm much more stable now. Well, a little more.
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A stocky goblin in leather armor leans against the wall of the lodge. Sheathed at his side are two weapons: a cold iron dagger, and a jagged dagger that seems to glisten with a greenish sheen. He steps forward and you notice something strange about him: while one of his eyes is the expected red, the other is a light green shade.
Hmph. Name's Brix. Brix Frostfur. And tell you what: I'm a bit tired of all these new agents staring at me like I'm some sorta quirky new hire. Been a Pathfinder since 4710, going on a decade now! Got recruited by a Venture Captain himself: Adril Hestram! The goblin takes out a piece of parchment from his pack and proudly displays it.
First mission was to head out into the wilds and scout and wait, so I did. Got good at scouting, hiding, surviving on my own. Had to patch myself up, hunt my own food, but I did it as well as anyone. And waited. And waited. Then some decade later a few green Pathfinders come across me, let me know Hestram seems to have forgotten to actually file the paperwork, and bring me back in 'from the cold'.
Brix shakes his head. Gotta say don't mind the cold. I mean so far it's been nice heading all over. Different sights to see, things to do: never thought I'd get all the way to Jalmeray and Nex in my life. Just wish I could get these Pathfinders to stop relying too much on their horses. They'll turn on you in a second: running away, panicking into a pit, becoming a skeleton. Even in the desert they try to use tumor horses and act like it's all normal. The goblin shudders. Fools...
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Neeyo help MikMak Moneymaker keep kids alive.
Not sure worth trouble. On other hand, Nefaram Subeli come with. And not become cat food! For someone who looks at books and not taste them, he seem awfully twitchy!
Even so, get wagons to bridge building site. Fight off cats, stay on roof, shoot them! Thwip-thwip!
Follow cat that got away back to lair! It have one of Neeyo's arrows! Need back! Fight crazy small longshanks with claws and fangs in cave.
Pay Nefaram Subeli for knowing stuffs. Then take to Port Peril!
We make Stella Fane excited. She really like Neeyo! Says he strongest ass! Even share drinks! She leave, fight break out, Neeyo climb high and shoot with arrows from rafter, then hit people with coconuts from trees.
Then Neeyo sleep more. Life goodest!
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A muscular goblin laden down with a variety of gear steps up to the mic.
"You all know me, my name is Stitchen Thyme!
When you get bitten I be spittin’ out a b@@@#in rhyme
Always ready with a knife when life is on the line
I’m a doctor and a chef so either way is fine!"
Proud member of the Envoy's Alliance, ready to help kill, cook, cut up, patch up, carry, lift, or fetch whatever will make Our Particular Gang of Pathfinders happier, safer, and more successful.