If a character I am grappling is then flanked by my ally, would he get the +2 to hit vs him? or do you not gain the +2 to hit if enemy is grappled?
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You should be ok, because you can still attack, and thus threaten. You may run into a GM who equates threatening with being able to take an Attack of Opportunity, which you can't do while grappling.
Grappled creatures cannot make attacks of opportunity.
I'm pretty sure with the various clarifications on threatening and flanking (like that invisible creatures do provide a flank) that it's more or less been clarified that if you can make an attack into a square, you threaten that square, even if you aren't able to make Attacks of Opportunity.
Assuming that is correct, your teammate would receive the flank bonus when attacking, and you would receive the flank bonus when maintaining the grapple.