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So some of you may have seen my previous thread regarding the... leavings... of one of the elf in the group I'm currently a part of. I have another story from the same group, but about a different member, and more specifically, how a simple stew turned out to be something else entirely.
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Several sessions back, our party was resting in a cave overnight on the way to the nearest village. One of our party, a CG Half-Orc Barbarian called Kar-Splatt, decided to cook up a stew to feed the party. He went out, successfully hunting a deer (which we had previously learnt he had somewhat of a soft spot for) and using its meat for the stew. While not having any ranks in the relevant skill (Profession: Cook, I think), he somehow got a bloody good roll on the check, not a natural 20, but an 18 or 19 if I recall correctly. Anyways, our party agreed that the stew tasted amazing, with some jokingly referring to it as "Splatty Stew".
While most of us thought it was simply something to lighten the mood on our journey, little did we realize that it was going to become something else entirely...
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Upon reaching the village in question, our party was tasked with heading to a nearby castle to defeat - wait for it - an undead baby elf foetus (yes, I am serious.) Anyways, while in the castle, we came across an owlbear, which our party managed to defeat in 2 turns, thanks to a VERY lucky critical hit from Kar-Splatt. Once we had defeated the owlbear, Kar-Splatt asked how much meat he was able to get from the creature. We all asked why he would want to do such a thing, to which he replied he was going to make more Splatty Stew.
We all had a good laugh, upon realizing that Splatty Stew was now an official thing. We also learnt afterwards that Kar-Splatt had taken ranks in Profession: Cook, further cementing the foundation of what was going to become almost the centerpiece of our campaign.
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When we returned to the village, we were rewarded with a handsome sum of GP each. We spent some time in the village, with our Wizard working on making magic items for the party (the same Wizard from my previous story - he was starting to become less of a troll to everyone by now), my Bard (Desmond) becoming mates with the local woodworker, and his father who was the local blacksmith (both of whom were worshipers of Cayden Cailean, as was Desmond) and Kar-Splatt making - you guessed it - a MASSIVE pot of Splatty Stew. Everyone in the village became obsessed with this newfound delicacy, with the manager of the local tavern asking for the recipe for the stew.
Kar-Splatt eventually agreed to give them the recipe, on the condition that he received a portion of any profits made from selling the stew, with some of said portion being put towards a large house to be built for him in the village.
And thus Splatty Stew became an official business.
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Our party eventually departed the village, heading for the capital city of the region we were in. While in the city, Kar-Splatt spent some of his hard-earned GP to get himself a fancy suit, with our Paladin (Lithert) doing the same. We wondered why they were doing this, before being informed that Lithert was now Kar-Splatt's manager, and that they were looking to purchase business cards to promote Splatty Stew.
While this was going on, Desmond went to one of the Bard colleges in the city to try and convince them to purchase some of his poetry for sale (I had been having Desmond write poetry the last few days, as selling something he had written or scribed was the final prerequisite for taking levels in Pathfinder Chronicler). At this point, I had scribed three pieces; two of which were serious, and one which was originally intended as a joke. The "joke" poem went as such:
The first taste has you hooked
For more, anything would you do
Tastes like food from the gods
They call it "Splatty Stew"
Now when the Bards of the college asked me for an example of my work, I went to pull out one of my serious poems to show them. Instead, I accidentally pulled out the "joke" poem. I initially went to put it away and grab one of the other ones, before a moment of sheer' hilarious brilliance struck me.
Desmond gave the Bards the "joke" poem. They were all confused as to what "Splatty Stew" was, and asked for an example of such before they made a decision. He went and found Kar-Splatt, who agreed to make a pot of Splatty Stew if I went out and purchased the owlbear meat required. He did so, and the pot of stew was made (he took 20 on the Profession check, so the stew was perfect).
Upon returning to the college, the Bards were instantly hooked on the Splatty Stew. They agreed to purchase his poem for 50 GP, on the conditions that a) they were left with at least a week's supply of Splatty Stew, and b) they were directed to where they could obtain more.
The deal was made, and so Desmond became Kar-Splatt's Vice President of Marketing.
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That's all I have on the legend of Splatty Stew for the time being. I shall post more stories as the campaign carries on.
Peace out.
Can I put splatty stew in my random settlement building table?
I am glad that story went a whole different direction than I first thought, fearing "splatty" was a much different, and much more gross, thing.
Just goes to show, you can't judge a tale (or barbarian) by the title (or appearance)
Good story!
Nice! I already enjoyed your previous story and this one was also great! Keep posting them!
Why don't you start a thread to post all your stories? That would be a cool thing to do and I'd check it for sure. You seem to have a good group who enjoys roleplaying together and that is so good to read.
I have thought of doing that myself as I also like to share stories and I don't always know where to post them.
This story seems pretty much totally pleasant and like "good clean fun" - well, other than the undead elf fetus. Hopefully that didn't go into the stew.
As far as in game cooking goes, my drunken monk sometimes used his monk's spade to shovel burning coals for BBQ. I also had a Monk/Summoner who was a sushi chef and used a cleaver as an improvised weapon (mostly just for RP and to gain AC from Fighting Defensively - he did very little melee damage on his own though he was also known for throwing forks as improvised shurikens)
Nice! I already enjoyed your previous story and this one was also great! Keep posting them!
Why don't you start a thread to post all your stories? That would be a cool thing to do and I'd check it for sure. You seem to have a good group who enjoys roleplaying together and that is so good to read.
I have thought of doing that myself as I also like to share stories and I don't always know where to post them.
Glad you enjoyed my stories so far =D
When I mentioned to our DM that I had posted the other story about the poo-poo elf, he actually asked me if I could keep posting stories about our campaign on here. Seems somewhat appropriate, given that I'm the party Bard =D
Sure, I guess making a single thread where I can post any stories from the campaign wouldn't be a silly idea.
This story seems pretty much totally pleasant and like "good clean fun" - well, other than the undead elf fetus. Hopefully that didn't go into the stew.
As far as in game cooking goes, my drunken monk sometimes used his monk's spade to shovel burning coals for BBQ. I also had a Monk/Summoner who was a sushi chef and used a cleaver as an improvised weapon (mostly just for RP and to gain AC from Fighting Defensively - he did very little melee damage on his own though he was also known for throwing forks as improvised shurikens)
Don't worry, the stew was completely foetus-free XD
Undead elf fetus stew, a special order for a would be litch.:)
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