Sure, go for it. Most people around here are pretty helpful. Though you may want to warn your players away lol.
GM Note: Have the PC’s decide at the start of every fight if they are fighting to kill or not.
I am curious about this. I mean, attacking for nonlethal damage at a -4 attack roll penalty is an option in the rules, and is generally decided on an attack-by-attack basis or at least round by round, as far as I can tell and have seen. Is there any particular reason for it being a one-time decision, and does it work any differently?
I like this so far, just a few suggestions. First give the players a few moments in the bar to establish their characters. In all probability somebody will start the barfight without you asking them to. If not just throw the plothook in as soon as they are done which should be pretty early. Also I might add an encounter or 2 to the lunar caves after the ghost. It seems a bit short even for a mini dungeon. Assuming a group of 4 people that know the rules reasonably, as written it will probably take about 2 hours
Make sure to leave some room for player innovation. A general story arch like you have is a really good reference for playing. PCs will make decisions you don't expect. What if they don't trust Desmond? What if they try ejecting the ghost without killing Bernie? You can't plan for everything just remember to go with the flow
2 general tips for improving
Pay attention to the player's body language in session
Ask for feedback after the session
I like this so far, just a few suggestions. First give the players a few moments in the bar to establish their characters. In all probability somebody will start the barfight without you asking them to. If not just throw the plothook in as soon as they are done which should be pretty early. Also I might add an encounter or 2 to the lunar caves after the ghost. It seems a bit short even for a mini dungeon. Assuming a group of 4 people that know the rules reasonably, as written it will probably take about 2 hours
Make sure to leave some room for player innovation. A general story arch like you have is a really good reference for playing. PCs will make decisions you don't expect. What if they don't trust Desmond? What if they try ejecting the ghost without killing Bernie? You can't plan for everything just remember to go with the flow
2 general tips for improving
Pay attention to the player's body language in session
Ask for feedback after the session
Players love options, and they will try to take all of them if they can. If you only give them one or 2 paths, they will find a third, fourth and sixth path (somehow without seeing the fifth path).
So for example the first encounter - Talk their way into the employers good graces (BLUFF), talk their way through the goons (INTIMIDATE/DIPLOMACY), beat up the goons (Non-Lethal), kill the goons (Lethal), maybe learn about them from townspeople and hit em where it hurts (Rogue+Lockpicks+KNOW LOCAL). Maybe follow them into a dark alley after they are drunk and make it look like an accident (Mage Hand/STRENGTH+Rock+Roof). Maybe poison their drinks. Maybe start a fire in the bar that burns everyone down.
Prepare for the alternatives in some way, and maybe hint about them. Have the goons enter the bar much later that night, give them a chance to perform intel and ready their gear/spells/tactics before hand. Bar fights are fun, but less so when they are practically scripted for them.
I love the rule of 3 for throwing out plot hooks. Every fork in the road dangle 3 alternative avenues to the same next stage. So a social one, later a combat one, then later still maybe another social one.
As well, what is the motivation for the players to care about Burnie? Why would they make a public enemy for him? Give them some personal stake in the matter (lots of coins is an easy one).
In act 2, riddles are tricky, make sure you know how you want to implement them.
How has Bridgette survived the skeletons for so long? (possessed of course, but my first instinct is she needs no help, or is faking the trouble and its a trap). players can often see through GM fiat like this, consider the steps required for an NPC to arrive anywhere so that the players can follow those steps and make switches less obvious. (She is on a narrow ledge out of reach? Unconscious and therefore no threat? Inside a narrow nook with a shield and fear strength saving her? Great timing by the party arriving rounds after her? The party activated the skeletons with a trap/rune/seal she avoided?)
If you are unsure if the players really enjoyed the game then ask them. Before the session starts ask them how they feel about the way you run a game. Make sure you do not get offended and do not let things turn into a mud slinging contest. If they say there is to much combat, since you feel that was the problem, add in a few social encounters. Let them chat with some of the locals. This will cause the players to form relationships with some of the NPC's, it lets them make friends and enemies. Both of which can be used against them later. But the more attached the players are to a location the more willing they are to fight for it.
Also I will second the need to improvise. The players will always throw a curve ball and surprise you. This is a playlist of some tips for being a GM. The man doing the talking is a brilliant GM and some of his advice is very helpful. He runs the Critical Role game that they record. To be warned it is hilarious and will eat up your free time. But the first link is very helpful.
Good descriptions tend to help. Add what it smells like or at least use a few descriptive words to describe a place. You are painting the picture for the world they are playing in.
I do not want to repeat some of the advice I have seen in the posts above me though I wish I had thought to do this when I started running.
One thing you can also do, is during combat be more descriptive, more fluid. Talign is a free action, have the villains talk smack and taunt the party if they are winning, or try to distract the party, or bluff if they are losing.
I'm going to echo a few of the other's suggestions here.
#1 pay attention to your players real life actions. Perked up leaning forward is good. Leaning back on the phone, not so much.
#2 have a 'living world plot' that moves along wether the players go with your hook or not.
Ex: They decide not to really care about Bernie's plight of missing daughter. Have her come back possessed and make a ruckus in the tavern that they have to respond too.
#3 Be ready to Improvise.
Anecdotal story: I've been running a 5th Ed game with 6 player only one has any TRPG experience. I've come up with 80% of the sessions on the fly. I have a theme, the background hooks along with their decisions to tie everything together.
#4 Don't get to caught up on your story, it is the tables story. You aren't their to monologue to them or make them play our your fanfic fantasy novel.
EX:
I put a minor demon in front of them with a demon hunter coming to their aid at the last moment. He was part of clandestine order that I had given backstory and fleshed out a hierarchy hoping to get them into a demon hunting campaign similar to Supernatural. He informed them of a city where he operates nearby and they turned joining him down. They went to the city and instantly wanted an 'adventurers guild' and asked for certain jobs. Been a blast since then tying their decisions into a story.
You have a great start but let them help you do some lifting with their backgrounds and motives.