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NOTE: NOBODY ELSE IS ALLOWED TO POST SUGGESTIONS, ONLY ME, THESE ARE THINGS I NEED FOR PAIZO TO GET TO WORK ON
REPEAT: OTHER PEOPLE CAN POST, BUT NOT SUGGESTIONS. ONLY I GET TO SUGGEST THINGS. MAKE YOUR OWN THREAD.
1. Please make an avatar of a radical-looking kobold wearing sunglasses. I have enclosed here a prototype, which I have designed myself. Please do not ask me why I need this I have my reasons.
2. Please add an Ignore feature which, when activated, allows posters to ignore new threads asking for an Ignore feature.
3. Please join the new millennium and update your website to be run entirely on Myspace, the platform of the future.
More to come!
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4. Please ban tea. It is unhealthy and causes, among other dangerous symptoms, frequent urination and, in the green form, turning people into vegetable matter to be consumed by terrifying goblins.
5. Please ban tea advocates.
6. Please make a separate subforum for people who want to argue often-disputed aspects of the rules, such as the caster-martial disparity, paladin alignment threads, and whether or not the Annoying Orange's hairy uncle should technically be allowed to run for president.
7. A separate subforum for philosophical and political discussions, like paladin alignment threads and the Annoying Orange's hairy uncle, would actually be sort of nice.
8. Please replace James Jacobs with fifty kobolds. I believe fifty kobolds are equal to one Tyrannosaurus Rex in terms of attack power and game design mastery, and would appreciate the opportunity to prove it. As for his setting design, I suggest you hire James Jacobs part-time, because we don't know how he does that s!*@ so well and we don't want to risk screwing something up.
9. I find ongoing mysteries personally upsetting. Please explain who killed Aroden now.
10. I suggest releasing a "CLUE" knockofff to explain Aroden's death.
11. Maybe a "Kill Doctor Aroden" board game.
12. Please explain why Aroden would be foolish enough to enter the Foyer when he knew that Pharasma wasn't in sight and the Fifth Horseman was waiting there with the severed monkey's paw.
13. WHAT HAPPENED TO ARODEN'S BELOVED DOG SHAMROCK
15. Please replace the "Flag" button with a "Flag And Move On" button that closes the thread right after the poster clicks it.
16. Please add kender to Starfinder. I know this isn't a website feedback but it's really important to me.
17. Please change the current editing limit. I find the one hour limit extremely frustrating. Please change it to a one second limit so that I don't have to feel silly about doing tons of posts in a row because I'm too lazy to click the "Edit" button.
18. Also sometimes I double-post for comedic timing. My ways are as inscrutable as those of the hungry postmonster itself.
19. Please get rid of that thing that makes us lose our posts. Just delete it. Why did you even have that feature?
20. Please rename the Advice subforum to "Dear Abby, But For Cranky Nerds".
21. Please tell little Kobold it's time for beddie-bye. When he stays up past his bed time he's a cranky little reptile in the morning and I have to put him in the cage.
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21. Please remove all aliases, I am being cyberbullied by my fake mom.
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4. Please ban tea. It is unhealthy and causes, among other dangerous symptoms, frequent urination
Frequent urination is good for you
and, in the green form, turning people into vegetable matter to be consumed by terrifying goblins
If this were the case, I would a) be a hedge and b) have passed through several little scary-comic humanoids' digestive systems by now, setting me well on the way to achieving my lifetime dream of becoming Living Mulch.
5. Please ban tea advocates.
Quite right. Mixing tea and advocaat is disgusting.
999. Please stop the creepy elf posting in KC's threads. KC still doesn't know who he is and would rather not find out
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8. Please replace James Jacobs with fifty kobolds.
We of the Cosmean Pugwampi's Front (not to be confused with the Pugwampi's Front of Cosmea {spits} Splitters!) would also accept three gremlins in a trenchcoat.
Or a single succubus in a trenchcoat and wearing nothing else. Our safeword is "blancmanges at Wimbledon."
21. Please remove all aliases, I am being cyberbullied by my fake mom.
I wish it was fake. Do you have any idea what it feels like to lay a kobold egg?
How long does it take to hard boil a kobold egg?
RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32
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1. Please make an avatar of a radical-looking kobold wearing sunglasses. I have enclosed here a prototype, which I have designed myself. Please do not ask me why I need this I have my reasons.
I heartily endorse this suggestion on the grounds that it is 2 sick.
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1. Please make an avatar of a radical-looking kobold wearing sunglasses. I have enclosed here a prototype, which I have designed myself. Please do not ask me why I need this I have my reasons.I heartily endorse this suggestion on the grounds that it is 2 sick.
Maybe they could also rastafy him by... ten percent or so.
Whenever Kobold Cleaver's not posting, all the other Paizonians should be asking "Where's KC"?
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22. I am dissatisfied with the "Political Correctness Police" I have heard manage these forums. I have not seen any, despite them clearly having a very successful marketing campaign (they are mentioned very often!). Please increase Political Correctness levels by at least 300% over the next five years.
23. Please install a bot account that posts after every post I make with a laughtrack.
24. Please delete any post that fails to receive at least 2 favorites in 24 hours.
25. Please stop pandering to non-kobolds with all these non-kobold avatars on these forums. I support diversity, but not when it is pandering. For instance, the "Werewolf Miniature" avatar, best known for used by prominent old-timer Aberzombie, is clearly a token werewolf miniature. Please do not forget that kobolds, by sheer breeding power, comprise 90% of your fanbase, and design your website accordingly.
26. Please sticky this thread.
27. Ban wolf spiders from posting.
28. Make the search engine search gooder.
29. You need to appoint more moderators. Perhaps someone with experience indexing rules debate threads. Someone with a handsome face, but with enough humility to not draw attention to it often. Someone who posts a lot of new threads. Someone who spends time in political threads, but also rules arguments and philosophical debates. Someone me please make me a mod so I can ban the wolf spider from posting.
30. Replace all instances of orange on this site with purple.
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31. Please create an alias cap and ban any poster who exceeds this cap.
That'll stop that Captain punk giving me s@&$.
31. Please create an alias cap and ban any poster who exceeds this cap.
That'll stop that Captain punk giving me s+&$.
Be careful what you wish for, little lizard.
You might just get banned by it.
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24. Please delete any post that fails to receive at least 2 favorites in 24 hours.
I know one of you monsters unfavorited my posts and when I find you not even Teter himself will save you from my wrath.
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24. Please delete any post that fails to receive at least 2 favorites in 24 hours.I know one of you monsters unfavorited my posts and when I find you not even Teter himself will save you from my wrath.
Don't mind me! Just passing through....
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{clicks} Oops, that post has lost a Favorite and now only has one, ONE favorite! AH-AH-AH-AH!
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32. On April Fool's Day, have the "Paizo Pugwampis" corrupt all d20 rolls in the Play-By-Post subforum, secretly rolling twice and giving everyone worse results.
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32. On April Fool's Day, have the "Paizo Pugwampis" corrupt all d20 rolls in the Play-By-Post subforum, secretly rolling twice and giving everyone worse results.
Does the forum software dynamically determine dice rolls whenever a post is displayed? Because if it does, they could add an extra bit of oomph to April Fools Day by "fixing" all the rolls several hours later.
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33. Please chase those goblins out of your tech room already so they stop chewing up the tech. This...this shouldn't be so complicated.
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32. On April Fool's Day, have the "Paizo Pugwampis" corrupt all d20 rolls in the Play-By-Post subforum, secretly rolling twice and giving everyone worse results.
This happens anyway, all year round.
4. Please ban tea. It is unhealthy and causes, among other dangerous symptoms, frequent urination and, in the green form, turning people into vegetable matter to be consumed by terrifying goblins.
5. Please ban tea advocates.
If you're going to specifically troll for me, you might want to have told me this thread existed. If I hadn't decided to randomly look for new threads...something I haven't done in many weeks...I might not have had the opportunity to throw something at you.
33. Please chase those goblins out of your tech room already so they stop chewing up the tech. This...this shouldn't be so complicated.
But it's so delicious!
33. Please chase those goblins out of your tech room already so they stop chewing up the tech. This...this shouldn't be so complicated.But it's so delicious!
Geez. He gets upset when we chew on kobolds, upset when we chew on his RPG books, upset when we chew on tech... of us are still teething.
4. Please ban tea.
5. Please ban tea advocates.
And this is basically declaring war on everyone that drinks iced tea.
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34. Please like all my posts, I need validation.
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It's bad when even your own mother doesn't like your posts.
It's called tough love. If you want me to like them, you should write better posts.
And this is basically declaring war on everyone that drinks iced tea.4. Please ban tea.
5. Please ban tea advocates.
Long Island iced tea? Hate to break it to you broaugh, that stuff's not really tea.
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35. Extend the FAQ feature to cover all Paizo-related questions, like "Why is Paizocon only once a year?" and "Hey i dunno if anybody's ever asked u guys this but ignore feature y/n?"
36. Do you like me? Yes / Definitely / Absolutely
37. Please reformat this entire messageboard like an anime high school. Divide subforums into "classes" and classify longtime posters as "seniors". Give us all special outfits we can use to do cool powers and also lots of fanservice to keep the bastards in the back row watching. Add emoticons, which are all various Japanese words mistranslated into online slang like "hentai" and "kawai".
38. Do more April Fool's Day gags. I don't care if you have to cancel Pathfinder APs for a year or something. Make it happen!
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39. April Fools Prank Idea: As with the "smurf" prank, replace the avatars of anybody who says the words "social justice warrior", "sjw" or "political correctness" with the image of a random flailing Muppet. "Feminazi" just gets a picture of a very disapproving Kermit.
40. April Fools Prank Idea: "Jokingly" ban Sebastian. Then don't let him come back.
41. Make private messages able to contact multiple people so we don't need to use pesky threads at all anymore. Render the forums obsolete! Do it now!
42. Lock Kobold Cleaver in a cage and throw away the key.
43. Gnomes are way better than Kobolds.
Sharoth, I know you want to be just like me when you grow up, but you aren't Kobold Cleaver and you never will be. And that second one isn't even a suggestion. Wishful thinking, maybe.
44. Dwarves are better miners than kobolds.
45. Kobolds are just yappy want to be dogs, but are not good enough to be dogs.
Sharoth, I know you want to be just like me when you grow up, but you aren't Kobold Cleaver and you never will be.
Thank Lamashtu for small favors.
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42. Please add a Flag option: "I regret making this post it was not as funny as I thought it was please delete it now."
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But sweetie, you'd have no posts left...
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But sweetie, you'd have no posts left...
When you say sweetie, I hear it in the same inflection as River Song... just before she does something terrible to someone.
43. Please add a Flag option: "I don't really agree with this poster, please get rid of them for me."