| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
I've been wondering about the possibility of a MurderHobo NPC and the idea of giving him a code to follow, but one that keeps in line with the idea of the MurderHobo. Then, I remembered a webcomic called Schlock Mercenary that I'm a fan of (but have fallen waaaaa behind on). In the comic there is the concept of the Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries. After re-reading it, I realized, it's basically a code on how to be the ultimate MurderHobo. There are some rules that don't fit well (because a MurderHobo probably isn't part of a private army), but, over all, I think this could be the start of an adaptation to a real Code of the MurderHobo.
Which ones do you guys are the most appropriate for a MurderHobo?
Are there any other rules a MurderHobo should follow?
Thoughts?
[Edit] Forgot to include the Maxims in a spoiler :D
2. A Sergeant in motion outranks a Lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on.
3. An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks everybody.
4. Close air support covereth a multitude of sins.
5. Close air support and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart.
6. If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.
7. If the food is good enough, the grunts will stop complaining about the incoming fire.
8. Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock.
9. Never turn your back on an enemy.
10. Sometimes the only way out is through. . . through the hull.
11. Everything is air-droppable at least once.
12. A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.
13. Do unto others.
14. "Mad Science" means never stopping to ask "what's the worst thing that could happen?"
15. Only you can prevent friendly fire.
16. Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth.
17. The longer everything goes according to plan, the bigger the impending disaster.
18. If the officers are leading from in front, watch out for an attack from the rear.
19. The world is richer when you turn enemies into friends, but that's not the same as you being richer.
20. If you're not willing to shell your own position, you're not willing to win.
21. Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he's lucky just to be alive, and he'll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow.
22. If you can see the whites of their eyes, somebody's done something wrong.
23. The company mess and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart.
24. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a big gun.
25. If the damage you do is covered by a manufacturers warranty, you didn't do enough damage.
27. Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.
28. If the price of collateral damage is high enough, you might be able to get paid for bringing ammunition home with you.
29. The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.
30. A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
31. Only cheaters prosper.
32. Anything is amphibious if you can get it back out of the water.
33. If you're leaving tracks, you're being followed.
34. If you’re leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun.
35. That which does not kill you has made a tactical error.
36. When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.
37. There is no 'overkill.' There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload.'
38. Just because it's easy for you doesn't mean it can't be hard on your clients.
39. There is a difference between spare parts and extra [parts]
40. Not all good news is enemy action.
41. “Do you have a backup?” means “I can’t fix this.”
44. If it will blow a hole in the ground, it will double as an entrenching tool.
47. Don't expect the enemy to cooperate in the creation of your dream engagement.
51. Let them see you sharpen the sword before you fall on it.
|
> 13. Do unto others.
By far the most applicable :)
> 19. The world is richer when you turn enemies into friends, but that's not the same as you being richer.
> 21. Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he's lucky just to be alive, and he'll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow.
Apparently the Aspis Consortium also reads Schlock Mercenary
This is the most complete list of the Maxims I've seen - like you, I read Schlock, but I've been busy and I'm wayyyyy behind. Last I checked there were only about a dozen of them actually defined. I think I'm going to print this and stick it on the board at the FLGS.
> 13. Do unto others.
By far the most applicable :)
> 19. The world is richer when you turn enemies into friends, but that's not the same as you being richer.
> 21. Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he's lucky just to be alive, and he'll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow.Apparently the Aspis Consortium also reads Schlock Mercenary
This is the most complete list of the Maxims I've seen - like you, I read Schlock, but I've been busy and I'm wayyyyy behind. Last I checked there were only about a dozen of them actually defined. I think I'm going to print this and stick it on the board at the FLGS.
I think 1, 6, and 27 are probably the most applicable.
1. Pillage, then burn
6. If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.
27. Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.
On Schlock:
I fell out of reading it a long time ago due to a lack of computer. The last bit of the story I can remember, is the Longshore Man of the Apocalypse, but I think I would need to re-read a huge chunk of that plotline as I recall feeling lost while reading it. As in I had no idea what was going on.
New as of this evening:
** spoiler omitted **
Ha! That's a great one.
|
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Come sit, and listen awhile
One evening as the moons came up and the temple fire was burning
Down the path came a murderhobo hiking and he said boys I'm not turning
I'm headin for a realm that's far away beside the crystal fountains
so join the party and we'll go and see the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains there's a land that's fair and bright
Where the XP grows on bushes and you sleep out every night
Where the laws are all empty and you would kill the sheriff anyway
On the swords and the boards and the barmaid hoards
Where hostages get saved after we been paid
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains all the guards have wooden legs
And the monsters all have rubber teeth and the barkeeps handover their kegs
The farmer's barns are full of loot, if they say no feel free to slay
Oh, I'm not bound to go where there ain't no gold
where those townsfolk should have killed us the truth be told
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains you never worry about locks
and if folks are home you just run them through
there’s no time for talks
the paladins have to tip their helms and all the lawful good are blind
If the party knew I’d kill them too
bury the dead without their gear is the thing to do
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains, dungeons are made of tin
And you can walk right out again as soon as you are in
so I'm a goin to stay where you flay all day
Where they hung the jerk that invented role-play
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
I'll see you all next Monty Haul in the Big Rock Candy Mountains