Dumbest Spells in the Book


Gamer Life General Discussion


Any official book.
Any game system.
I'm thinking especially spells that looked "awesome" at first glance but then because of game mechanics, GM fiat, something else, turned out to be completely worthless.

I'll start things off with an equivocal choice.

True Strike

Seemed like a good idea at first, but 7 points guaranteed (Magic Missile two rounds in a row) usually beats half that even adding in the 1-in-50 confirmed crit that isn't possible with MM.


Snapdragon Fireworks: Magic missile, but with fire damage and a weak status effect, no extra missiles at high level.

Sovereign Court

Feeblemind


I always thought Haste (3rd level) seemed under-powered given that Expeditious Retreat (1st level) grants +30' movement yet Haste limits it to double your regular move or +30', whichever is least.

Or Crushing Hand (9th) seems woefully under-powered for a spell of maximum level. Great for capturing a small or medium sized opponent but I figure an 18th+ level caster ought to have a more efficient means at her disposal than using a 9th level spell slot.

Alternately, let me ask this:
Anyone ever use a spell in a creative way that managed to make it effective beyond all hope? Here I intend to exclude serendipitous Wild Magic effects since stuff like that is supposed to happen on occasion with wild casters.


Off the top of my head:

- Wish and limited wish

- miracle

- antimagic field


Quark Blast wrote:

Any official book.

Any game system.
I'm thinking especially spells that looked "awesome" at first glance but then because of game mechanics, GM fiat, something else, turned out to be completely worthless.

I'll start things off with an equivocal choice.

True Strike

Seemed like a good idea at first, but 7 points guaranteed (Magic Missile two rounds in a row) usually beats half that even adding in the 1-in-50 confirmed crit that isn't possible with MM.

1) True strike isn't meant for ordinary combat use. True strike has value when you're using it to land some special attack.

2) It's useful in an item. Consider that 2000gp bow. It at least lets a wizard that's out of spells at least do some damage.


Loren Pechtel wrote:

1) True strike isn't meant for ordinary combat use. True strike has value when you're using it to land some special attack.

2) It's useful in an item. Consider that 2000gp bow. It at least lets a wizard that's out of spells at least do some damage.

1) It does and for that it almost seems Cantrip-like.

2) This would be Über-powerful as a continuous use item (every shot @ +20!) but even at 3x/day it's not a bad idea.

Gloves of True Strike might be the best item since the effect would have application to anything you can throw and some things you normally wouldn't.


Loren Pechtel wrote:
Quark Blast wrote:

Any official book.

Any game system.
I'm thinking especially spells that looked "awesome" at first glance but then because of game mechanics, GM fiat, something else, turned out to be completely worthless.

I'll start things off with an equivocal choice.

True Strike

Seemed like a good idea at first, but 7 points guaranteed (Magic Missile two rounds in a row) usually beats half that even adding in the 1-in-50 confirmed crit that isn't possible with MM.

1) True strike isn't meant for ordinary combat use. True strike has value when you're using it to land some special attack.

2) It's useful in an item. Consider that 2000gp bow. It at least lets a wizard that's out of spells at least do some damage.

Yes, you use True Strike to help land something that might be impossibly hard. For example, Dimensional Anchor is a spell that requires a ranged touch attack. Those that can cast the spell: usually have low BAB with okay Dex or medium BAB with low Dex. If you are fighting a boss wizard that is teleporting around, you can't afford to miss (and he most likely has good touch AC). Also since True Strike is level 1, you can actually Quicken it at some point in the future, combining it with said spells that require you to actually hit.


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Quark Blast wrote:
Loren Pechtel wrote:

1) True strike isn't meant for ordinary combat use. True strike has value when you're using it to land some special attack.

2) It's useful in an item. Consider that 2000gp bow. It at least lets a wizard that's out of spells at least do some damage.

1) It does and for that it almost seems Cantrip-like.

2) This would be Über-powerful as a continuous use item (every shot @ +20!) but even at 3x/day it's not a bad idea.

Gloves of True Strike might be the best item since the effect would have application to anything you can throw and some things you normally wouldn't.

[Nancy Reagan] Just say no to true strike items! [/Nancy Reagan]

Really though, just don't do it. We should start a PF-PSA campaign.

Edit: also, this thread ended the moment someone suggested that haste was underpowered.


Ah, haste, the damage dealing spell.

I think web is dumb because you have to have it attached to two vertical supports. You can't put on the ground, drop/throw it, etc. you know, the stuff spiders do with their webs.


Correct me if I'm wrong, but spiders don't typically hurl webs or spew them all over the ground.


BigDTBone wrote:
Edit: also, this thread ended the moment someone suggested that haste was underpowered.

Underpowered compared to Expeditious Retreat (a 1st level spell).


DualJay wrote:
Correct me if I'm wrong, but spiders don't typically hurl webs or spew them all over the ground.

Correct me if I'm wrong but since Spider Climb (2nd) doesn't work like spiders climb why would Web (2nd) need to work like spiders spew?

Silver Crusade

Quark Blast wrote:
BigDTBone wrote:
Edit: also, this thread ended the moment someone suggested that haste was underpowered.
Underpowered compared to Expeditious Retreat (a 1st level spell).

It does more then just grant movement bonus though. Also haste impacts all movement rates where as expeditious retreat only increases overland movement speed.


Aztec merely said that it's not like the stuff spiders do with their webs since you can't hurl it. I was pointing out that, so far as I know, spiders don't hurl/coat the floor with their webs.

Spiderman, on the other hand...


Pathfinder Maps, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Maps, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Was Necromancer kidding when the "worthless" spells listed were wish, miracle, and antimagic field?

Just curious to know if it was serious or sarcasm.


Serious, probably. Might be because they are so powerful.


KestrelZ wrote:

Was Necromancer kidding when the "worthless" spells listed were wish, miracle, and antimagic field?

Just curious to know if it was serious or sarcasm.

Gotta be serious though I would guess that has more to do with DM rulings than the spells themselves. But if they're always being ruled "wrong" then maybe there is something about the spell descriptions that doesn't fit with the rest of the game?


There's nothing confusing about any of them. Granted, wish/miracle allows for special effects, which could be confusing, but still - that's kinda the point of the spells.


DualJay wrote:
There's nothing confusing about any of them. Granted, wish/miracle allows for special effects, which could be confusing, but still - that's kinda the point of the spells.

And that only goes to highlight how Crushing Hand (9th) is so not in that league.


DualJay wrote:

Aztec merely said that it's not like the stuff spiders do with their webs since you can't hurl it. I was pointing out that, so far as I know, spiders don't hurl/coat the floor with their webs.

Spiderman, on the other hand...

So they don't exactly throw them, but some spiders do wait around and actively make their webnet connect with their target. As for webs on the ground...


That's not so much webs on the ground as it is webs absolutely everywhere.

But yeah, no webs on the ground may be a bit silly, but it's balanced - it feels like that would be a different spell like Sticjyground or whatever. Like entangle but conjured webs.


That sounds like a great change to entangle. Or maybe more of an addition to it.


mswbear wrote:
Quark Blast wrote:
BigDTBone wrote:
Edit: also, this thread ended the moment someone suggested that haste was underpowered.
Underpowered compared to Expeditious Retreat (a 1st level spell).
It does more then just grant movement bonus though. Also haste impacts all movement rates where as expeditious retreat only increases overland movement speed.

Expeditious Retreat ought to come in different modes then.

Like Protection From evil/good/chaos/law/neutrality, there could be
Expeditious Retreat ambulate/fly/swim/ooze/wiggle/bounce/roll.


Quark Blast wrote:
mswbear wrote:
Quark Blast wrote:
BigDTBone wrote:
Edit: also, this thread ended the moment someone suggested that haste was underpowered.
Underpowered compared to Expeditious Retreat (a 1st level spell).
It does more then just grant movement bonus though. Also haste impacts all movement rates where as expeditious retreat only increases overland movement speed.

Expeditious Retreat ought to come in different modes then.

Like Protection From evil/good/chaos/law/neutrality, there could be
Expeditious Retreat ambulate/fly/swim/ooze/wiggle/bounce/roll.

I think that would be fine as long as they were short duration and did not grant the movement type, but only increased what you already had. I would add burrow too.

What must absolutely be avoided is increasing someone's fly speed by +30 for more than min/lvl.


Azten wrote:
DualJay wrote:

Aztec merely said that it's not like the stuff spiders do with their webs since you can't hurl it. I was pointing out that, so far as I know, spiders don't hurl/coat the floor with their webs.

Spiderman, on the other hand...

So they don't exactly throw them, but some spiders do wait around and actively make their webnet connect with their target. As for webs on the ground...

Various species of arachnids do each of those.

Google gladiator spider, spitting spider for your webbing attacks.
Lots of spiders have ground webs; trap door, funnel web. I know tarantulas will coat the floor of a terrarium with web.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Smug narcissism. Enchantment [compulsion] Will save or you can only do a limited amount of stuff. Sounds OK, except that I could be casting hold monster, with the same descriptors and save, which makes you do nothing and be completely helpless.

There's a ton of weird enchantments out there that compel you to do some strange thing that falls short of total helplessness or charm/dominate; hardly any of these are anywhere near as useful/good as the basic benchmark enchantments.


Charlie Bell wrote:

Smug narcissism. Enchantment [compulsion] Will save or you can only do a limited amount of stuff. Sounds OK, except that I could be casting hold monster, with the same descriptors and save, which makes you do nothing and be completely helpless.

There's a ton of weird enchantments out there that compel you to do some strange thing that falls short of total helplessness or charm/dominate; hardly any of these are anywhere near as useful/good as the basic benchmark enchantments.

Good point.

The only situation where some of them might be useful is for subduing an opponent.


Quark Blast wrote:
Loren Pechtel wrote:

1) True strike isn't meant for ordinary combat use. True strike has value when you're using it to land some special attack.

2) It's useful in an item. Consider that 2000gp bow. It at least lets a wizard that's out of spells at least do some damage.

1) It does and for that it almost seems Cantrip-like.

2) This would be Über-powerful as a continuous use item (every shot @ +20!) but even at 3x/day it's not a bad idea.

Gloves of True Strike might be the best item since the effect would have application to anything you can throw and some things you normally wouldn't.

The original version was an unlimited command activated item. You got one +20 attack in exchange for giving up one round of attacks. It struck me as a way for an out-of-spells wizard to do something useful without being overpowering. No fighter type would use such a weapon.

Grand Lodge

Lon-Qu wrote:
Snapdragon Fireworks: Magic missile, but with fire damage and a weak status effect, no extra missiles at high level.

It can be useful if cast as a dazing spell. You get to shoot one missle each round as a move action and potentially daze the opponent if they fail their Reflex save. This is, of course, in addition to any other spells you might cast as standard or swift actions, and the dazing snapdragon fireworks spell only takes up a 4th level slot. The range on this spell is also enormous.


Lon-Qu wrote:
Snapdragon Fireworks: Magic missile, but with fire damage and a weak status effect, no extra missiles at high level.

I'm going to have to disagree. The spell deals damage, acts as a low-end debuff, and once cast you can blast people as a move action while still casting other spells. It has excellent range, and is effective against swarms. It can be used to signal allies, and can it's not unreasonable for it to set objects on fire. At low levels it's very cost effective for spell slots.

Alternatively, if you can change the element to cold (through bloodline powers or other class or feat abilities) then it makes an excellent rime spell. It also works well with extend spell, which effectively doubles its damage output.

Is it the greatest spell in the world? No. Is it a solid choice? Well I think so.

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