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xp is based on mostly how much damage we make.
I think that's the source of your problem right there. XP and gold awards are supposed to be based on defeating/bypassing encounters (including traps and roleplaying) and story awards. If you GM is basing XP on damage dealt then there's no reason to play anything that doesn't deal a ton of damage.
It sounds like you're also rolling stats, which comes with an inherent imbalance between the PCs. When rolling stats, the dice can result in one player having a 45-point buy equivalent while another player has a 15-point buy equivalent. It's very bad for keeping everyone on the same level.
If you have poor stats, normally I'd say focus on buffing and healing the party. Dipping into rogue (or any other non-caster) for a cleric (or any other caster) is generally a poor choice because you slow down your spell progression and that will definitely hurt you.
As a cleric, you kind of have to choose between a melee-centric character that relied on spells to make himself (and possibly others) more effective, or a caster type that can bolster and heal his allies while occasionally laying some holy wrath down on opponents from afar. Trying to do both will leave your character weak and unfocused.
xp is based on mostly how much damage we make.
Ah this hearkens back to the good old days when the only person who got xp for a fight was the one who did the last point of damage and got 'the killing blow'. Things were so competitive back then and there was no incentive to play a support character or even role play. It was all about competition with the enemies and your own party. LOL
Yeah this kind of system for experience breaks pathfinder and pretty much any game system. It also breaks parties.
D&D (e1) and AD&D (e2) Had last hit = All xp. We changed it after a while to the amount of % you did damage. Now in Pathfinder we dont use XP anymore.
We also got xp from loot.
But as advice on the tophic, I would suggest that you get rid of XP, and the GM just grant a level then the players have earned it. This make it fun to play suport classes, like Healers and Buffers, and the game change to a team play game.
XP for defeating encounters is assumed to be granted to the party as a whole, not to individual PCs (for instance, this also includes XP granted for disabling a trap, even if only the rogue is directly involved).
A support character may well be more instrumental in the party's success in a given encounter than the characters who actually deal damage, making XP awarded based on the amount of damage dealt a thoroughly unfair mechanic (for instance, a bard's inspire courage could have meant the difference between success and failure for all of the party's attacks, yet the bard gets no XP).
I would advise you to attempt to sway your GM to award XP in a more fair manner, as this method will likely leave your character falling farther and farther behind.
XP should be evenly distributed when the group overcomes a challenge, and WBL should remain near enough that no one feels outclassed. Remind your DM that this is a team/group game. Or don't heal anyone, let them die and swoop in for the xp, I mean kill.
Also, I'd see about buying your stats using the standard method presented in the core rulebook. Perhaps jot down the stats of your group members and reverse engineer the point costs to come to an average, then buy your stats using that number.
The reality is, fighters and other hard hitting melee types rule the world at early levels. You won't feel yourself really hitting your stride until later... Which is problematic when you're doing a direct "your output = your exp".
You're all level 4. Your second level spells have come in, and some of them are awesome, but it's probably not enough... I do have this to warn you about, though: exp based on output ruined my last game as soon as one person hit level 3 while the rest of us were barely touching 2. The imbalance encourages selfish playstyles and isn't a good idea.
You guys are all adults, so that style is simply no longer going to cut it or even stay interesting. I suggest first and foremost that you drop it flat out. If that doesn't work, here are some amendments to ask for...
1) If you cast a buff spell that allows the fighter to deal 3 more damage a hit, you should receive credit for the hit points that came from your buff.
2) You should receive experience points for the hit point damage you heal or prevent. If your "shield" spell is the only thing keeping the party fighter from getting hit, that damage should theoretically go to you as exp.
3) drop that whole thing, and let the group decide who deserves the exp for each encounter. A group that isn't awful will more or less agree to keep things nice for everyone.
As for the cleric thing...
You might want to reroll. Look at your scores and understand that 4d6 take away the lowest dice generally gets you on average 15,14,13,12,10,8, or something of the sort. Honestly, rolling for stats causes a ton of character imbalance, but if you can reroll, and your stats are lower than that average (or you're willing to take the risk), then go for it.
You brought up changing spells. Clerics don't have a set of known spells but rather can pick spells from the whole class list. Experiment with different spells and see what sorts of effects you like.
Don't try to outdamage the fighter. It's actually pretty hard to do in PF. Note that CR 4 creatures can hit AC 20, and you shouldn't expect his invincibility to last forever. Prove that you're a valuable member of the team once his invincibility is tested, and you should be able to make the case that the exp system is a little bit off.