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The Death Star canteen stopped selling wookie steak because the customers kept complaining it was too Chewy.

Mythic JMD031 |
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*cast protection from fire*
*picks up the Giant D20 of Bad Pun Intolerance*
*throws Giant D20 of Bad Pun Intolerance*
*Giant D20 of Bad Pun Intolerance explodes in a fiery ball damaging everyone in the thread*
Damage: 50d6 ⇒ (1, 1, 2, 4, 1, 4, 5, 5, 2, 2, 3, 1, 6, 6, 4, 4, 4, 1, 2, 5, 6, 6, 3, 6, 4, 3, 6, 4, 4, 2, 5, 1, 2, 2, 5, 6, 4, 3, 3, 5, 6, 4, 1, 4, 1, 5, 4, 3, 1, 5) = 177
*Giant D20 of Bad Pun Intolerance reforms*
*picks up Giant D20 of Bad Pun Intolerance*
*places die on 20*

gran rey de los mono |
*cast protection from fire*
*picks up the Giant D20 of Bad Pun Intolerance*
*throws Giant D20 of Bad Pun Intolerance*
*Giant D20 of Bad Pun Intolerance explodes in a fiery ball damaging everyone in the thread*
[dice=Damage]50d6
*Giant D20 of Bad Pun Intolerance reforms*
*picks up Giant D20 of Bad Pun Intolerance*
*places die on 20*
I should have known you have a fiery temper.

thunderspirit |
4 people marked this as a favorite. |

A Russian scientist and a Czech scientist had spent their whole lives studying the majestic grizzly bear and had collaborated numerous times via mail. One year their schedules allowed them to travel overseas, and as luck would have it they could do so at the same time. They immediately flew to America, landing in New York and then on west to Yellowstone.
They reported to the local ranger station but were informed that it was mating season in the U.S. and that it would be much too dangerous to go out and study the animals. Undaunted, they pointed out that this could well be their only chance. After much pleading, at last the ranger relented. The Russian and the Czech were given cell phones and told to report in each and every day.
For several days they called in, and then suddenly nothing was heard from the two scientists. Fearing the worst, and a potential international incident, the rangers mounted a search party and found their camp completely ravaged, with no sign of the missing men. The rangers followed the trail of a male and a female bear. They found the female but could not get near her, ultimately deciding they would need to kill the animal to find out if she had eaten the scientists.
They killed the female and cut open the bear's stomach. Sure enough, inside were the remains of the Russian.
One ranger turned to the other and said, "You know what this means, don't you?"
"Of course," the other ranger nodded. "The Czech is in the male."

Limeylongears |
2 people marked this as a favorite. |

A few examples from the Infernal/Abyssal songbook:
'Daddy's taking us to Pazuzu tomorrow'
'When Erinyes' Eyes are Smiling'
'The [redacted] in the Succubus goes round and round'
'Didn't we have a lovely time the day we went to Belphegor'
'Rock me, Asmodeus'
'Iggwilv you still love me tomorrow?'
'Since you've been (a) Cornugon'

Appario Lind |
4 people marked this as a favorite. |

From gameplay, almost two years ago:
Appario sees, Maddok, the giant cow, near the precipice of the dirty pool, a whirlwind of carnage.
He's ledge end dairy!
Appario giggles to himself.
Yeah, no one likes a cattle-tale, but you should blame the one who transforms into a bovine and I felt the need to milk that one for all it's worth.

thunderspirit |
2 people marked this as a favorite. |

From gameplay, almost two years ago:
Appario Lind wrote:Yeah, no one likes a cattle-tale, but you should blame the one who transforms into a bovine and I felt the need to milk that one for all it's worth.Appario sees, Maddok, the giant cow, near the precipice of the dirty pool, a whirlwind of carnage.
He's ledge end dairy!
Appario giggles to himself.
That's udderly absurd.

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Appario Lind wrote:That's udderly absurd.From gameplay, almost two years ago:
Appario Lind wrote:Yeah, no one likes a cattle-tale, but you should blame the one who transforms into a bovine and I felt the need to milk that one for all it's worth.Appario sees, Maddok, the giant cow, near the precipice of the dirty pool, a whirlwind of carnage.
He's ledge end dairy!
Appario giggles to himself.
Now now, just because you cud make a play on words doesn't mean you should. ;)
Except in this thread, of course. If you have the opportunity and don't, that's just bull.

thunderspirit |
1 person marked this as a favorite. |

thunderspirit wrote:Appario Lind wrote:That's udderly absurd.From gameplay, almost two years ago:
Appario Lind wrote:Yeah, no one likes a cattle-tale, but you should blame the one who transforms into a bovine and I felt the need to milk that one for all it's worth.Appario sees, Maddok, the giant cow, near the precipice of the dirty pool, a whirlwind of carnage.
He's ledge end dairy!
Appario giggles to himself.
Now now, just because you cud make a play on words doesn't mean you should. ;)
Except in this thread, of course. If you have the opportunity and don't, that's just bull.
I'm not sure I can stomach stomach stomach stomach much more of this.

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zylphryx wrote:I'm not sure I can stomach stomach stomach stomach much more of this.thunderspirit wrote:Appario Lind wrote:That's udderly absurd.From gameplay, almost two years ago:
Appario Lind wrote:Yeah, no one likes a cattle-tale, but you should blame the one who transforms into a bovine and I felt the need to milk that one for all it's worth.Appario sees, Maddok, the giant cow, near the precipice of the dirty pool, a whirlwind of carnage.
He's ledge end dairy!
Appario giggles to himself.
Now now, just because you cud make a play on words doesn't mean you should. ;)
Except in this thread, of course. If you have the opportunity and don't, that's just bull.
That's only because you lactose other three stomachs ...

thunderspirit |
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thunderspirit wrote:That's only because you lactose other three stomachs ...zylphryx wrote:I'm not sure I can stomach stomach stomach stomach much more of this.thunderspirit wrote:Appario Lind wrote:That's udderly absurd.From gameplay, almost two years ago:
Appario Lind wrote:Yeah, no one likes a cattle-tale, but you should blame the one who transforms into a bovine and I felt the need to milk that one for all it's worth.Appario sees, Maddok, the giant cow, near the precipice of the dirty pool, a whirlwind of carnage.
He's ledge end dairy!
Appario giggles to himself.
Now now, just because you cud make a play on words doesn't mean you should. ;)
Except in this thread, of course. If you have the opportunity and don't, that's just bull.
Oh, it's on now; there's just no whey I can let that one pass by.
Better curd up for quite a battle!

Limeylongears |

Blimey, it's Friesian out here... Sorry, am I ungulate? Heifer seen such traffic - nothing moo-ving for miles. Still, if you've got a beef with it, take it up with The Ox

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What was that? A battle? Well, your challenge has been herd.
I've been challenged by Abigar opponent than you, my friend, and while not wanting to sound Väne or as if I were attempting to Kuri favor with those watching, but I kicked his Arsi and sent that poor Florida Cracker back to Jersey dragging his Wangus in the dirt behind him.
Jamaica Hope for a better result, my friend, but you will Fjäll.
That's all for me at the moment. Work is done. Time to hoof it back to the house.
I wonder if JMD031 will be considering these as a single pun or will count each instance ...

Glutton |
1 person marked this as a favorite. |

Fighter and rogue trapped in a cave in. Rogue panics and starts going through his belongings searching for a way out. He starts showing them to the fighter. "Do you think a ladder will help?", "No", "How about a 10 foot pole?", "No", "Well do you think this Abacus will save us?", fighter gives him a steely glare "Don't count on it.".

Mythic JMD031 |

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Bludgeoned by a d20 ... yep, I died. I thought you hated puns JMD031 ... but there you go making one in a round about way. ;)
When I explained this situation, that is being killed by a giant d20 and the attempt to bind my soul which should not work as a PF specific is attempting to affect a non OGL entity, to The Thinker, the statue of a man in a thinking pose, but which has never moved on its own, it stood and stated quite clearly "I concur, soul binding should not work." It then sat back down, proving that it only stands to reason.

CarusoBot |
3 people marked this as a favorite. |

Bludgeoned by a d20 ... yep, I died. I thought you hated puns JMD031 ... but there you go making one in a round about way. ;)
When I explained this situation, that is being killed by a giant d20 and the attempt to bind my soul which should not work as a PF specific is attempting to affect a non OGL entity, to The Thinker, the statue of a man in a thinking pose, but which has never moved on its own, it stood and stated quite clearly "I concur, soul binding should not work." It then sat back down, proving that it only stands to reason.
So what he's saying is,
if you want to kill punning illithids (or slaadi)...(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
...the answer is "No dice." (Obligatory)

Pulg |
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I was tired and hungry after a day Bertrand Russel-ing, so I tied up my Bertrands in front of the Philosopher's Saloon and moseyed on in. I had Derrida da menu, and decided to have a Plato Heidegger chips for my Sartre. The waiter asked what I wanted for a main. I asked for his recommendation, he gave it, so I replied, "I think, therefore, spiced ham, although Egon Ronay only gave it half Marx"
This infuriated the waiter, who snapped, "In that case, you get Foucalt!", then threw me out!