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Well, I have created a Half-Orc PC for RotRL, that speaks in rhyme.(See here.)
Problem is, I have a hard time coming up with ways to state the obvious, or otherwise communicate important information, whilst doing so in the rhyming fashion.
So, I ask, what are some common things that might need to be communicated, and how can I relay them in a rhyming fashion?
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Go Left: Foo' Head to the left, or I'll feel bereft.
Go Right: Turn right up here, the left seems really queer!
Monster Ahead: I have just one simple rule: Stay away from monsta drool.
Medic!: Heal me please, of injury or disease!
Thank You: I am truly grateful, my little plateful.
Die!: Please desist living, as I commence the shivving!
Oh yeah, these are definitely the best you'll get.
I'm feelin' a need for healin'.
Take the flank for your shank!
-Have no fear, my spear is here!
-Things that are strange and queer? I should stab them with my spear!
-A ghostly apparition is here! It must be a spear-it!
Wait that one's just a pun.
-A mighty foe! Where else should I throw?
-Taste broadhead justice, mutt face!
Yeah I think I'll stop there.
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Just look for any comic that has Etrigan in it
We've got a long road to hoe
and a **itload of foes
So keep on your toes
and keep your eyes on the road
You think you're safe at range,
spear wielding half orcs are strange?
be glad I dont have a glaive, knave
and remember my name.
I'm known as Ghik Briarpatch
and I've got an itch to scratch.
You say that this way is clear
But I can smell fear...I know that its near
So keep the squishies in the middle
And you best cover the rear
You see my sneer and know now
You shouldnt be quite so near
To my bloodhungry spear
If I'm keeping it real
I think i could use a heal
Then we can make a campfire and turn our foes in to meals
Anything about aliteration?
Since age 12
I've felt like somebody else
You might like keebler cookies
I like cooking the elves.
The gobbies look delicious
But the bugbear is tougher
now I gotta decide
which one i'm having for supper
Your legs or your thighs
Roasted or fried.
After you've died
I gotta decide
Cry out for friends
I think they should be beckoned
You do look quite lean
Might need to go back for seconds.
Now dont get me wrong
I'm down with the hotties
Gotta keep 'em nearby
Cuz hot chicks is good eats.
Give me haste and we'll race
To stab these guys in the face
Turn their innards to paste
Set the table and tell the cleric to be ready to say grace.
Sorry the focus is so much on eating enemies... I just think of half orcs as willing to eat anything and keep forgetting that he's raised by gnomes and not halflings that know how to cook...
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-A ghostly apparition is here! It must be a spear-it!
Wait that one's just a pun.
Ah, weapon puns.
I'll spear you the details!
Can I axe you a question?
It was an 'arrowing experience.
Twas a sworded tale.
That was no ladle, that was my knife!
I didn't know if that would work, it was kind of an ex-spear-iment.
But rhymes, hmm.
Fighting skeletons and switching to bludgeoning;
"Pokin' is broken,
time to bash the trash!"
Critters with reach;
"They seem quite large,
best not to charge!"
You spotted a trap;
"Step on that block,
be crushed by that rock."
or
"Step in that space,
rocks fall on your face."
or
"Step on that crack,
break ya own back."
Down to single digit hit points;
"Pale Rider's bell now peals,
I ask 'where be mah heals?'"
Aid Other to someone's attack roll;
"I distract him here,
you stab him there."
And sometime's there's just no time to bust a rhyme;
Hit with alchemical fire;
"Aiee! I'm on fire!"
Aid Other to someone's AC;
"Duck, fool!"
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The ranger and druid are strange
But if its all the same
I got a much better game
A hefty spear to the brain
Is how I make animals tame
My WBL is worse than a juggling buffoon
It'll be over soon, i can roll up a new toon
What a shame
This campaign
Its feeling so lame
GM thinks crafting magic items was too powerful so my spear is mundane
We're for sure gonna die
This thing's CR is too high
Lets just see how it goes, he said, well what a surprise.
Its insane Its not fun
Would be nice if we could run
But our paladin falls if he doesnt stay till we're done
And yet just when we thought our team was gonna get grilled
In comes Zen Archer 'One' and the Optimizers Guild!
I thought they'll save the day! Oh this'll be nice!
They can one shot a pit fiend without even rolling the dice!
And while it is true, they're the best at what they do
And they did indeed turn all our foes into instant goo.
The optimizers guild 'accidentally' one shotted us too.
I can cast burning hands for free!
I just hugged a torch and now the torch is me!
This burning hands spell seems to be worse than i feared
That burning hair smell
methinks its me beard!
If someone cast a spider climb on you i'd definitely recommend you sing
Spider Pig, Spider Pig! Doing the things that a spider pig does.
Can he swing on a web. No he cant. He's a pig.
Sorry. Cant get the image out of my head.
RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32
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You could always use a rhyming dictionary...
If you have a phone or tablet, you could keep it open to that page, and use it when you need a hint.
There once was a fighter named Stuie
Who stepped in a pile of green gooey
With face turning red,
His armor he shed
While screaming and shouting "Ah phooey!"
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Anything Spear related would be welcome too.
Who knew that would be hard to work with?
Intimidate:
If you need something to fear, how about my spear? *shake spear*Diplomacy:
If you do what I ask, I'll tip you a flask
Sense motive:
That doesn't seem right, is it me that's uptight?
Perception:
What's that I see? - Way up in the tree?
- a bird or a bee?
- (failure) it sure beats me...
You keep dippen and dappen and your lips keep flappen.
Seconding the suggestion to keep a rhyming dictionary open. That should help you come up with rhymes on the fly.
Insults and threats:
Your death shall be here, if you face my spear!
You? Challenge me to a fight? Ha! You can't defeat my might.
Not too late not too soon, you will die in this room.
You should tremble in fear, for your death stands here.
My spear is sharp, my arm is strong, this fight shall not take long.
I'm better than you by far. Come, I'll teach you the pains of war.
Inspirational and compliments:
Come my friend, we'll fight to the end.
I will take the first crack, if you, my friend, wil have my back.
Spell cunning and strenght, side by side. Before us even dragons will think to hide.
We will die old and rich, but first we will teach fear to that lich.
Tactical:
Heal me please my friend, before I meet my end.
Go for the boss, you know the stake, do not worry, my spear will keep you safe.
Busy the minions, I'll take the boss. The will surely feel his loss.
Fear my hate and my rage, I shall kill the mage.
Circle around to his back, he'll fall to our attack.
Longspear in mah hands, mouth full o' teeth,
Start somethin bad and you goin' six feet beneath
Green skin like a boss, muscle up fool,
If you had these canines then you too would drool.
Establishin' the flank, rogue does it from behind,
You got it goin' but now you wish you could rewind.
Puttin' you facedown like a Calistrian prostitute,
It ain't up for debate because your fightin' point is moot.
"Let's see you grit those teeth! I bet it hurts when I use your body as a sheathe!"