If the rules at the table include these books and exclude those, then that's what you'll have to deal with. Maybe next time they start up a game you can have some input as to what might be more fun for everyone, but in the meantime you just have to make do with the rules.
However, aside from that, your friends don't have the power to tell you what to play. You can play whatever you want, and as a team you'll all have to deal with it and make do - often that's a big part of the fun of a game, at least for me. If they want to play with you then you get to have fun with your own character. If they really want a meat shield more than a friend then they can make an NPC - you deserve better friends than that!
So what do YOU want to play?
Have to agree with Chris P. Bacon here. Not much fun playing a character you are not into - and although we try to cover the usual bases in my group - healer, arcane and tank, we never pressure anyone into taking one of those roles. These kind of things should happen organically. I have to say this group doesn't sound like my cup of tea - but I hope it all works out for you.
As an alternate to a fighter you could play a full on plate wearing cleric or something like an Oracle with the metal mystery and skill at arms revelation. You cold hold your own in the front line and still have spell power and cool SU stuff. Just some ideas...
I don't see much purpose in banning certain books, but honestly once you start playing I don't see it mattering much. Good gameplay with friends trumps all.
Right. I mean, I do think that a DM doesn't have to let EVERYTHING in, but even if the limits are a little overboard, it's fun anyway.
Can you ask to try one session first? You'll know whether or not is fun to play with them and you can decide on a character afterwards.
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So okay here is there REAL questions... answer yes to one of them.
Do you want to hang out with your friends and have fun with them?
or
Do you want to play your specific characters you have in mind?
If you answer yes to the first question then join the game.
If you answer yes to the second then don't bother, look for new friends and play in that game.
Having frequently been put in the position of playing a char because the rest of my group don't think when the pick their chars I feel your pain. (My current party is three dex based warriors and my cleric). I prefer it when the party works together in character creation so the party makes sense or game play can suck. I wouldn't like being told to play that specific of a char but if they told you to fill a role that's not so bad. Our party needs X can you do that or are we better off hiring an NPC. Part of being a good party member is from time to time playing the char that works with your group and not your first choice (if your always stuck doing that though there's a problem with your other players)
As for limiting books I understand it completely. DMing is complicated and if your not as familiar with certain books it can raise problems. Most Dm's should no the main books but not everyone can afford all the books or has had the time to commit them to memory. This is especially a problem with third party material. That said If he lets you use part of a book he should let you use the rest. And why you would cut out the advanced guide is beyond me.
That's too bad, Lucien, but at least you have your decision. Better luck with your next group!
Even with the person you don't like it may be worthwhile to try one session.