... i would have bicycles become the most common form of transport.
... i would start schemes to reclaim the deserts and turn them into fertile farmland, thus reducing the food shortage.
... i would hold that it is not better to be feared than loved, but it is better than either of these to be permenent.
... gaming stores would be bigger, and recieve government funding.
... Bloodbowl would replace rugby as an international sport.
... professional sportsmen would be payed based on their actual abilities and performance, rather than their percieved worth.
...Bullying would be punishable by the pillory.
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...I would hold nightly lotteries to randomly determine who would have the honor of attending to my toilette.
... Education would get better funding than the millitary.
... Space would once again be the new frontier, with the space program recieving massive economic boosts.
... Being too dumb to live would be punishable by death.
... internet would be provided free by the government.
... All current politicians would be forced to work at fast food outlets.
... Being too dumb to live would be punishable by death.
Would you outlaw redundancy?
... Being too dumb to live would be punishable by death.Would you outlaw redundancy?
it's a backup plan to thin the herd of the Dumb But Lucky types who outlive natural selection.
redundent backups are good, especially when the primary, primary backup and secondary backup all fail simultaniously. of course at that point it stops being redundent.
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum!
... Education would get better funding than the millitary.
Funding isn't the problem with the education system. Lots of countries with less money per student that we have do much better. The problem is that we expect too little from our children performance wise, and the standardized testing system does not work. By all means, keep giving the military more money than education. Money isn't the problem, how it's used is.
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...The military would not bomb or invade anybody unless they shot first.
...The writers of F.A.T.A.L. would be hunted down, put through sexual reassignment surgery, and then released into an authentic reproduction of their campaign setting.
... Education would get better funding than the millitary.Funding isn't the problem with the education system. Lots of countries with less money per student that we have do much better. The problem is that we expect too little from our children performance wise, and the standardized testing system does not work. By all means, keep giving the military more money than education. Money isn't the problem, how it's used is.
you missed my somewhat obscure point. I'm KING OF THE WORLD! why do i need to put money into the military at all? answer: aliens and rebels.
you missed my somewhat obscure point. I'm KING OF THE WORLD! why do i need to put money into the military at all? answer: aliens and rebels.... Education would get better funding than the millitary.Funding isn't the problem with the education system. Lots of countries with less money per student that we have do much better. The problem is that we expect too little from our children performance wise, and the standardized testing system does not work. By all means, keep giving the military more money than education. Money isn't the problem, how it's used is.
Don't underestimate aliens. Haven't you seen Independence Day? You NEED that military to be prepared, man!
Don't underestimate aliens. Haven't you seen Independence Day? You NEED that military to be prepared, man!you missed my somewhat obscure point. I'm KING OF THE WORLD! why do i need to put money into the military at all? answer: aliens and rebels.... Education would get better funding than the millitary.Funding isn't the problem with the education system. Lots of countries with less money per student that we have do much better. The problem is that we expect too little from our children performance wise, and the standardized testing system does not work. By all means, keep giving the military more money than education. Money isn't the problem, how it's used is.
Why did you think i was pouring all that money into education? when the aliens come i'll cripple their systems with computer viruses from my well-educated population, then deploy my compact and elite millitary to kick them while they're down!
What do you do when they update their AV software after the first ship goes down?
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hide.
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...vaccination in every common disease we have a vaccination for and any uncommon one that a person might reasonably expect to come in contact with would be free and readily available.
...parents who refuse to vaccinate their children would lose their custody in favor of people who were not grotesquely neglectful and bent on playing Russian roulette with public health.
...my birthday would be a global holiday celebrated by throwing things at statues of me.
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I would put people who try to purchase more than 20 items in the fast line in the stocks and have them beaned with 100 rotten tomatoes for every item they tried to purchase.
... i would have bicycles become the most common form of transport.
.
It would then become impossible to ship goods any further than your
local village. Food production would plummet, and mass starvation
would prevail until a new low water mark for the human population is
reached.
.
... i would start schemes to reclaim the deserts and turn them into fertile farmland, thus reducing the food shortage.
.
This could only be done by triggering an ice age. In the short run,
life is grand and easy, but soon after mass starvation would prevail
until a new low water mark for the human population is reached.
.
... i would hold that it is not better to be feared than loved, but it is better than either of these to be permanent.
.
This is why you can't be President for longer than 8 years.
.
... gaming stores would be bigger, and receive government funding.
.
Everyone would game and game and game. As a result, food production
would plummet, and mass starvation would prevail until a new low water
mark for the human population is reached.
.
... Bloodbowl would replace rugby as an international sport.
.
Ok. That's cool.
.
... professional sportsmen would be payed based on their actual abilities and performance, rather than their perceived worth.
.
You lost me. What's the difference.
.
I would put people who try to purchase more than 20 items in the fast line in the stocks and have them beaned with 100 rotten tomatoes for every item they tried to purchase.
I swear, every time I end up behind somebody like that, I see Adam Carola on the man show, sitting on the throne with the crown and cape going, "when I'm king of the world,......
... Education would get better funding than the millitary.
.
No. We want to keep our labor force stupid, lest they figure out we are screwing them.
Hurray for public school!
.
... Space would once again be the new frontier, with the space program recieving massive economic boosts.
.
Maybe one day -- But this play would make Newt Gingrich look politically
better than he does right now. The forces are aligned against him, and
this.
MOON BASE !!!
.
... Being too dumb to live would be punishable by death.
.
Agreed on being too dumb. And being merely dumb makes a person get
into massive debt, and have to pay most of their income out to banks,
in a continuous cash flow stream to the people who own the banks.
Hurray !
.
... internet would be provided free by the government.
.
Um... the government gets its money from YOU through taxes. So, there
is no *free* stuff from the government.
Hurray for public school!
.
... All current politicians would be forced to work at fast food outlets.
.
Then these outlets would begin losing money and go out of business,
because there is no way a politician can do a job like that.
:)
.
... i would have bicycles become the most common form of transport..
It would then become impossible to ship goods any further than your
local village. Food production would plummet, and mass starvation
would prevail until a new low water mark for the human population is
reached..
... i would start schemes to reclaim the deserts and turn them into fertile farmland, thus reducing the food shortage.
.
This could only be done by triggering an ice age. In the short run,
life is grand and easy, but soon after mass starvation would prevail
until a new low water mark for the human population is reached..
... i would hold that it is not better to be feared than loved, but it is better than either of these to be permanent.
.
This is why you can't be President for longer than 8 years.
.
... gaming stores would be bigger, and receive government funding.
.
Everyone would game and game and game. As a result, food production
would plummet, and mass starvation would prevail until a new low water
mark for the human population is reached..
... Bloodbowl would replace rugby as an international sport.
.
Ok. That's cool.
.
... professional sportsmen would be payed based on their actual abilities and performance, rather than their perceived worth..
You lost me. What's the difference.
.
1) I said 'most common' not only.
2) Solar powered desalination plants, using the vast deserts for solar farms.3) who wants to be president? i'm going for world dictator.
4) you're kidding, right?
5) agreed.
6) no cashed up footballers earning more than rocket scientists for kicking a ball around.
...vaccination in every common disease we have a vaccination for and any uncommon one that a person might reasonably expect to come in contact with would be free and readily available.
.
This would make the diseases to which there is no vaccination become
the dominant diseases.
As a result, all humans die.
.
...parents who refuse to vaccinate their children would lose their custody in favor of people who were not grotesquely neglectful and bent on playing Russian roulette with public health.
.
Do not manipulate the gene pool to keep stupid people and their
offspring alive. Evolution must be allowed to sweep the trash away.
.
...my birthday would be a global holiday celebrated by throwing things at statues of me.
.
Along with 1/12 of the population. Hurray!
.
I would destroy any and all remaining Trans Ams, any and all references to Trans Ams in film, literature, and all forms of media including all copies of the Smoky and the Bandit movies.
In fact, all of Burt Reynolds movies would have to be destroyed, except for Deliverance, which I would have CG altered to transpose Ned Beatty's character with Burt Reynolds' character.
Also, I would have to destroy any blue prints, and any and all factory stuff's to make Trans Ams with.
Any remaining rogue Trans Ams would of course be hunted by massive robotic Soviet Hind helicoptor drones much like in the Rush song Red Barchetta.
Perhaps Burt Reynolds' nephew would care to challenge my Motor Law?.....
mwahahahaaa!!!
I would destroy any and all remaining Trans Ams, any and all references to Trans Ams in film, literature, and all forms of media including all copies of the Smoky and the Bandit movies.
.
Not Daigle's RED RAVEN !!
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...
.
Oh, well....his Trans Am is okay, in a Nicole Kidmanny....Golden Compassy.....kinda "you keep your Daemon, sweetheart" way.
Yih,.....Daigle keeps his Trans Am.
And doesn't have to participate in Flagellants' Day festivities.
Unless he wants to.
1979 Gold and Black. I'd keep the one perfect specimen after Spanky's Transamocaust and drive it by every day. Slow down, honk, wave, drive away. No, you can't catch a ride.
1979 Gold and Black. I'd keep the one perfect specimen after Spanky's Transamocaust and drive it by every day. Slow down, honk, wave, drive away. No, you can't catch a ride.
(warning: SEAL movie spoilers)
Somebody want to write the fictitious story of my birth, to pwn Kim Jong Il's pitiful offering?
Spanky was born where the grand canyon now stands. when he first touched the ground the earth shook with awesome and a billion billion wambats swum over from australia and began excivating the canyon as a monument to his glory. a group of evil aliens witnessed the birth and decided to renounce evil forever, worshiping him as a god and spreading this new religeon throughout the galaxy. then blue smoke happened and spiralled up and the people spake 'yo, that looks pretty cool'.
how's that sound?
Somebody want to write the fictitious story of my birth, to pwn Kim Jong Il's pitiful offering?
Spanky was born where the grand canyon now stands. when he first touched the ground the earth shook with awesome and a billion billion wambats swum over from australia and began excivating the canyon as a monument to his glory. a group of evil aliens witnessed the birth and decided to renounce evil forever, worshiping him as a god and spreading this new religeon throughout the galaxy. then blue smoke happened and spiralled up and the people spake 'yo, that looks pretty cool'.
how's that sound?
It's an admirable first attempt.
Aliens like the HR Giger thing with the mouthtongue. That's what I'm talking about. And we need giant komodo dragons to dig the Grand Canyon; wombats are kinda flabby and soft looking.
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... Education would get better funding than the millitary.
Actually in the United States we do spend more money on education than the military. Approximately 5.7 % of GDP vs. 4.9% and believe me 1% of GDP is a lot of money (1% of 15 trillion dollars)Billions and Billions of Dollars. Which frankly makes it even more sad when you hear about some of he problems our educations system has.
Somebody want to write the fictitious story of my birth, to pwn Kim Jong Il's pitiful offering?
Spanky was born where the grand canyon now stands. when he first touched the ground the earth shook with awesome and a billion billion wambats swum over from australia and began excivating the canyon as a monument to his glory. a group of evil aliens witnessed the birth and decided to renounce evil forever, worshiping him as a god and spreading this new religeon throughout the galaxy. then blue smoke happened and spiralled up and the people spake 'yo, that looks pretty cool'.
how's that sound?It's an admirable first attempt.
Aliens like the HR Giger thing with the mouthtongue. That's what I'm talking about. And we need giant komodo dragons to dig the Grand Canyon; wombats are kinda flabby and soft looking.
Wambats are awesome! they're basically furry boulders on legs. if you hit a wambat with your car then the car is a writeoff. Wambats make honey badgers look like sissies!
Kim Jong Il looks like a f*$~ing Wombat.
I bet I'd get flogged with a hose on my feet for saying that in NoKo.
1979 Gold and Black. I'd keep the one perfect specimen after Spanky's Transamocaust and drive it by every day. Slow down, honk, wave, drive away. No, you can't catch a ride.(warning: SEAL movie spoilers)
No, YOU can ride...
Kim Jong Il looks like a f#%~ing Wombat.
That's an insult to wombats.
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Silence, Trans Am-owing deviant scofflaw!
You're going in the reedumication camp. First bus.
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Hunting would be a sport: That is a a competition between foes on equal footing. You can hunt a bear with a gun, but you have to hunt bears with guns. You can hunt a bear with a knife, and we'll call that an even fight.
Global energy grid powered by nuclear reactors and silver wires. The Sahara and Ghobi deserts would be the storage facilities for the fuel.
Gem mining outlawed. Too many people getting killed mining tiny little chunks of carbon. Wedding Rings will be based on how long you've been married: 0-5 years copper, 6-10 years Bronze, 11-20 years silver 20+ gold. 50 Platnium.
Whale hunting, outlawed.
Bear bladder: outlawed. Viagra will be heavily subsidized in the asian markets.
Education: You can test out of grades and go to the next level up if you're tired of sitting next to the kid eating paste.
At age 15 you can get 5,000 dollars towards the cost of college by getting vasectomy/tubes tied. Actually screw it... vasectomies and tubes tied for everyone at age 15, come back and get a license to have kids.
Anything that can be carried in a purse is not a dog. It will be refered to as a rat and treated as such.
Continent wide networks of interlinked wildlife areas will be established so that populations don't get inbred. Similar programs will be considered for trailer parks.
You can frak, but then every CEO and board member has to drink the water.
Old age will be considered a disease like any other.
We will put research into artificial wombs, so kids can be born with bigger heads. This will eliminate the current limiting factor in human intelligence and hopefully the next generation will be born smarter so they don't have to resort to an idea as crazy as putting ME in charge.
Hmmm
Education would be reformed. Not doing homework would result in caning. Failure to maintain a 70 average for the year would result in spending the next year in the Infrastructure Rebuilding Corps.
All monkeys would be set free and given government jobs. They can't do any worse..
All sports cars would be required to have large birds painted on their hoods, except for Mustangs. Those would be all dumped into shallow ocean water to stimulate reef rebuilding
All current money would be repurposed to Parker Bros games. We would Then go to the D&D standard: 1pp=5gp=10ep=50sp=500cp.
Canada and Mexico would be redesignated Dungeon North and Dungeon South. Adventurers would be recruited in all neighborhood bars by a cadre of old mysterious men. Australia would be renamed 'The Isle of Dread' and genetically-recreated dinosaurs would be released to up the challenge factor.
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Hmmm
Education would be reformed. Not doing homework would result in caning. Failure to maintain a 70 average for the year would result in spending the next year in the Infrastructure Rebuilding Corps.
All monkeys would be set free and given government jobs. They can't do any worse..
All sports cars would be required to have large birds painted on their hoods, except for Mustangs. Those would be all dumped into shallow ocean water to stimulate reef rebuilding
All current money would be repurposed to Parker Bros games. We would Then go to the D&D standard: 1pp=5gp=10ep=50sp=500cp.
Canada and Mexico would be redesignated Dungeon North and Dungeon South. Adventurers would be recruited in all neighborhood bars by a cadre of old mysterious men. Australia would be renamed 'The Isle of Dread' and genetically-recreated dinosaurs would be released to up the challenge factor.
those sissy dinosaurs wouldn't last five minutes down here, as they'd be killed and eaten by either spiders or dropbears.
...sheesh. think these things through
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I would destroy any and all remaining Trans Ams, any and all references to Trans Ams in film, literature, and all forms of media including all copies of the Smoky and the Bandit movies.
In fact, all of Burt Reynolds movies would have to be destroyed, except for Deliverance, which I would have CG altered to transpose Ned Beatty's character with Burt Reynolds' character.
Also, I would have to destroy any blue prints, and any and all factory stuff's to make Trans Ams with.
Any remaining rogue Trans Ams would of course be hunted by massive robotic Soviet Hind helicoptor drones much like in the Rush song Red Barchetta.
Perhaps Burt Reynolds' nephew would care to challenge my Motor Law?.....
mwahahahaaa!!!
Don't f!#% with the Trans Am dude. I'll have to hurt somebody... Burt however is fair game. ;)
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If I was dictator, people would have to take a test to be allowed more than cursory internet use.
...I would seek to end despotism as rapidly and quickly as possible by giving my powers to a duly elected representative body, so long as there is a constitution that restrains the power of government, corporatists, mercantilists, and unions.
Hippy.
...I would order Terry Gilliam to remake Watchmen and all of the Harry Potter movies except maybe The Prisoner of Azkaban.
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Don't f$$! with the Trans Am dude. I'll have to hurt somebody... Burt however is fair game. ;)I would destroy any and all remaining Trans Ams, any and all references to Trans Ams in film, literature, and all forms of media including all copies of the Smoky and the Bandit movies.
In fact, all of Burt Reynolds movies would have to be destroyed, except for Deliverance, which I would have CG altered to transpose Ned Beatty's character with Burt Reynolds' character.
Also, I would have to destroy any blue prints, and any and all factory stuff's to make Trans Ams with.
Any remaining rogue Trans Ams would of course be hunted by massive robotic Soviet Hind helicoptor drones much like in the Rush song Red Barchetta.
Perhaps Burt Reynolds' nephew would care to challenge my Motor Law?.....
mwahahahaaa!!!
Giant robots with maul fists that go "BIG JOBS!!! BIG JOBS!!!" and crush all Trans Ams.
And that Russian guy will be at the control. Saying "fakkink ulsum!" and "don't try this at home.....I'm a professional Russian."
And I'm going to say "thenkyou veddy mach!" all the time, like Idi Amin.