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Inquiring minds want to know.
Inquiring minds want to know.
Itching powder
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I wondered why that ranger asked if he could look at my scat.
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Hematite
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Rust monsters don't poop - they don't even have an anus. They are almost perfectly efficient at metabolizing oxidized metals, and have no water content in their bodies. The tiny amounts of residual non-ferrous material that remains in the oxidized pile created by the rust monsters rusting ability take two forms: hydrocarbons from oils and zinc.
These hydrocarbon oils are stored in the body and lubricate the rust monsters internal functions (since they have no water in their bodies), such as muscles. These oils are drawn in a layer of specialized organs surrounding the stomach, and begin continuously working their way out of the creature's body. Eventually they are "sweated" out of the creatures pores, giving the creature's skin a waxy sheen.
Meanwhile a second set of organs form ducts leading from the stomach to small (almost microscopic) vents along the creature's lateral lines. If you were to run your finger along this line, you would pick up a waxy, white residue. This is a combination of zinc and the oils mentioned above.
This material, whitewax, is perhaps the finest sunblock in the world, but is produced in such small quantities that its harvest for commercial purposes is nearly impracticable. A "farm" of 50 rust monsters would produce a bottle with 5 uses every year, and the cost of feeding the creatures would make that bottle worth about 5000 gp. A single application of whitewax provides the benefits of an endure elements spell (hot environments only) for 24 hours, or until washed off with alcohol (whichever comes first).
RUST
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There is no ecology to the rust monster. They are simply the creation of evil DMs/game designers who wanted to see their fighters run away and freak out when they saw them coming.
Gelatinous cubes fall under this category as well. Square shaped see-through monsters? Psht.
Pretty close to the truth. When I was a kid, long before I played D&D, my dad bought me this bag full of cheap plastic Chinese toy monsters to go with my Star Wars figures. This was one of them.
When I got my first copy of the 1E Monster Manual, imagine my surprise to find this weird Chinese toy in the game. Turns out that Gary Gygax had bought this exact same bag of plastic monsters for use as minatures, and declared this weird looking thing a rust monster...and gave it powers to scare fighters into tears.
It wouldn't surprise me if the intellect devourer began as a rust monster toy with the tail and feelers cut off.
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When I got my first copy of the 1E Monster Manual, imagine my surprise to find this weird Chinese toy in the game. Turns out that Gary Gygax had bought this exact same bag of plastic monsters for use as minatures, and declared this weird looking thing a rust monster...and gave it powers to scare fighters into tears.
It wouldn't surprise me if the intellect devourer began as a rust monster toy with the tail and feelers cut off.
Wow, what a find! As for the Gelatinous Cubes, I remember playing Ultima I (the very old role-playing game by Richard Garriott) and walking down a hallway. It was in a first-person perspective, revolutionary for its time. When you walked down a hallway, you could see a monster approaching from a distance and decide whether you were going to run away. Not so with the Gelatinous Cube! You would just walk into it and take damage! Hence the "birth" of the Gelatinous Cube! :)
Another addition to the list of monsters-created-to-torture-D&D-players would be the Mimic! A monster has evolved on the basis of adventurers looking for human-constructed receptacles for treasure? Not likely - more likely candidates evolution-wise would be to impersonate a magic item, or gold itself. But no... it's more entertaining for evil GMs to have a treasure chest eat an adventurer who has just fought a hard battle!
Rust monsters don't poop - they don't even have an anus. They are almost perfectly efficient at metabolizing oxidized metals, and have no water content in their bodies. The tiny amounts of residual non-ferrous material that remains in the oxidized pile created by the rust monsters rusting ability take two forms: hydrocarbons from oils and zinc.
These hydrocarbon oils are stored in the body and lubricate the rust monsters internal functions (since they have no water in their bodies), such as muscles. These oils are drawn in a layer of specialized organs surrounding the stomach, and begin continuously working their way out of the creature's body. Eventually they are "sweated" out of the creatures pores, giving the creature's skin a waxy sheen.
Meanwhile a second set of organs form ducts leading from the stomach to small (almost microscopic) vents along the creature's lateral lines. If you were to run your finger along this line, you would pick up a waxy, white residue. This is a combination of zinc and the oils mentioned above.
This material, whitewax, is perhaps the finest sunblock in the world, but is produced in such small quantities that its harvest for commercial purposes is nearly impracticable. A "farm" of 50 rust monsters would produce a bottle with 5 uses every year, and the cost of feeding the creatures would make that bottle worth about 5000 gp. A single application of whitewax provides the benefits of an endure elements spell (hot environments only) for 24 hours, or until washed off with alcohol (whichever comes first).
What does a Mimic poop?
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Another addition to the list of monsters-created-to-torture-D&D-players would be the Mimic! A monster has evolved on the basis of adventurers looking for human-constructed receptacles for treasure? Not likely - more likely candidates evolution-wise would be to impersonate a magic item, or gold itself. But no... it's more entertaining for evil GMs to have a treasure chest eat an adventurer who has just fought a hard battle!
D&D is full of monsters like that. It's a time-honored tradition of D&D and one of the things that makes the game great.
The Lurker Above (It's a ceiling that eats you), the Trapper (and a matching floor!), and the Exectioner's Hood (it's a hood. It eats your head.) were all recently revised by paizo into one creature, and they did a fairly decent job of it.
But you know what they didn't try to do? Save the Spanner. The Spanner is one of those monsters that was so stupid people have literally forgotten it existed. It's a giant stone bridge. That Eats You. As Bill O'Reilly would say: You can't explain that!
There's also Stunjelly (It's a wall. That Eats You.), Cloakers (It's a cape. That Eats You.), the goldbug (It's a coin. That Eats You.), and while my desperate need to preserve my sanity says it ain't so, I know I've seen several attempts at It's a Sword. That Eats You.
But the best of them all is the Ragamoffyn. It's a pile of dirty laundry.
THAT EATS YOU!!!
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Oh, and actually anyone who has ever watched Doctor Who and knows what the Nestene Consciousness (and wants to ignore what paizo has already written on these various It's A [blank] And It Eats You creatures) is has a perfect answer to the ecology of all these creatures.
Look at the first image of a mimic.
They are sentient, shape-shifting plastics. They have no true organs, simply being constructed entirely from self-organizing sentient plastic. They feed off the sentience of intelligent beings, off the psychic energy created by the extinguishing of thought, which they capture by enveloping their target and grinding, constricting and generally smushing it to death. And they learn as they feed.
Which is why they hide as all these otherwise ordinary things. They find humans and humanoids generally delicious, and like reptiles, they're lazy hunters. Why go to the food when you can get the food to come to you? Also, they cannot successful reproduce realistic looking organic forms. Disguise itself a chest? Sure. As a person? It would fall so far into the uncanny valley most of its prey would run at first sight.
As for what they poop: technically, everything. They have no need for food, so once the brain has stopped generating psychic death screams, they simply dispose of the remaining corpse wherever it is convenient, or leave it in the spot if they intend to move on to new hunting grounds.
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D&D is full of monsters like that. It's a time-honored tradition of D&D and one of the things that makes the game great.
The Lurker Above (It's a ceiling that eats you), the Trapper (and a matching floor!), and the Exectioner's Hood (it's a hood. It eats your head.) were all recently revised by paizo into one creature, and they did a fairly decent job of it.
But you know what they didn't try to do? Save the Spanner. The Spanner is one of those monsters that was so stupid people have literally forgotten it existed. It's a giant stone bridge. That Eats You. As Bill O'Reilly would say: You can't explain that!
There's also Stunjelly (It's a wall. That Eats You.), Cloakers (It's a cape. That Eats You.), the goldbug (It's a coin. That Eats You.), and while my desperate need to preserve my sanity says it ain't so, I know I've seen several attempts at It's a Sword. That Eats You.
But the best of them all is the Ragamoffyn. It's a pile of dirty laundry.
THAT EATS YOU!!!
I'm loving all this. And don't forget about cursed items. My favorite title for a magic item is still "Armor of Arrow Attraction" :)
And treasure chests... that punch you?! That is so full of awesome.
Pretty close to the truth. When I was a kid, long before I played D&D, my dad bought me this bag full of cheap plastic Chinese toy monsters to go with my Star Wars figures. This was one of them.When I got my first copy of the 1E Monster Manual, imagine my surprise to find this weird Chinese toy in the game. Turns out that Gary Gygax had bought this exact same bag of plastic monsters for use as minatures, and declared this weird looking thing a rust monster...and gave it powers to scare fighters into tears.
I remember picking that bag of monsters off of the rack in the store when I was about 6 or 7. It also contained the bulette, and I *think* a couple of other MM creatures, but I don't remember which off the top of my head. Wish I still had em!
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But you know what they didn't try to do? Save the Spanner. The Spanner is one of those monsters that was so stupid people have literally forgotten it existed. It's a giant stone bridge. That Eats You. As Bill O'Reilly would say: You can't explain that!
Wow, where was the spanner located? I've never seen that one!
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Wow, where was the spanner located? I've never seen that one!But you know what they didn't try to do? Save the Spanner. The Spanner is one of those monsters that was so stupid people have literally forgotten it existed. It's a giant stone bridge. That Eats You. As Bill O'Reilly would say: You can't explain that!
It was in the Fiend Folio Appendix for the 2E Monsterous Compendium (MC14).
There is no ecology to the rust monster. They are simply the creation of evil DMs/game designers who wanted to see their fighters run away and freak out when they saw them coming.
Gelatinous cubes fall under this category as well. Square shaped see-through monsters? Psht.
Pretty close to the truth. When I was a kid, long before I played D&D, my dad bought me this bag full of cheap plastic Chinese toy monsters to go with my Star Wars figures. This was one of them.
When I got my first copy of the 1E Monster Manual, imagine my surprise to find this weird Chinese toy in the game. Turns out that Gary Gygax had bought this exact same bag of plastic monsters for use as minatures, and declared this weird looking thing a rust monster...and gave it powers to scare fighters into tears.
It wouldn't surprise me if the intellect devourer began as a rust monster toy with the tail and feelers cut off.
I had those as a kid too...
I picked up a bag of monsters for my nephew last year at one of the Dollar Stores. It had a few Rust Monsters and a whole set of D&D style monsters (big-nosed troll, efreeti, ogre with whip, etc.).
Good times...
Rust monsters crap victory.
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Rust Monsters are little 0xygen factories. To create rust they have to oxidate metals and this needs, well, Oxygen.
The materials that pass through a Rust Monster will be substances that do not oxidate; like crystals and clay.
Furthermore, Rust Monsters fart water. Because the hydrogen in their system is quickly converted into water (H20).
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Also, if you want to create an under-water breathing spells, Rust Monster bladders are an essential component.
Another addition to the list of monsters-created-to-torture-D&D-players would be the Mimic! A monster has evolved on the basis of adventurers looking for human-constructed receptacles for treasure? Not likely - more likely candidates evolution-wise would be to impersonate a magic item, or gold itself. But no... it's more entertaining for evil GMs to have a treasure chest eat an adventurer who has just fought a hard battle!D&D is full of monsters like that. It's a time-honored tradition of D&D and one of the things that makes the game great.
The Lurker Above (It's a ceiling that eats you), the Trapper (and a matching floor!), and the Exectioner's Hood (it's a hood. It eats your head.) were all recently revised by paizo into one creature, and they did a fairly decent job of it.
But you know what they didn't try to do? Save the Spanner. The Spanner is one of those monsters that was so stupid people have literally forgotten it existed. It's a giant stone bridge. That Eats You. As Bill O'Reilly would say: You can't explain that!
There's also Stunjelly (It's a wall. That Eats You.), Cloakers (It's a cape. That Eats You.), the goldbug (It's a coin. That Eats You.), and while my desperate need to preserve my sanity says it ain't so, I know I've seen several attempts at It's a Sword. That Eats You.
But the best of them all is the Ragamoffyn. It's a pile of dirty laundry.
THAT EATS YOU!!!
You forgot the House horrors(2nd ed), the village that eats you! I still think it was a cool concept.
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You forgot the House horrors(2nd ed), the village that eats you! I still think it was a cool concept.
Funny story, I pulled that off in a campaign once.
The PCs came across a cabin at the edge of the forest, infiltrated it, and discovered that it was inhabited by an innocent old lady. They continue their travel to a city, battle a bunch of dopplegangers, phasms, and mimics representing the Elemental Kingdom of Shape from an alien world, defeat them, then head back the way they came. They find the cabin again, and stop by.
Unfortunately, the cabin was, in the meantime, devoured by a particularly large mimic.
Rust monsters don't poop - they don't even have an anus. They are almost perfectly efficient at metabolizing oxidized metals, and have no water content in their bodies. The tiny amounts of residual non-ferrous material that remains in the oxidized pile created by the rust monsters rusting ability take two forms: hydrocarbons from oils and zinc.
These hydrocarbon oils are stored in the body and lubricate the rust monsters internal functions (since they have no water in their bodies), such as muscles. These oils are drawn in a layer of specialized organs surrounding the stomach, and begin continuously working their way out of the creature's body. Eventually they are "sweated" out of the creatures pores, giving the creature's skin a waxy sheen.
Meanwhile a second set of organs form ducts leading from the stomach to small (almost microscopic) vents along the creature's lateral lines. If you were to run your finger along this line, you would pick up a waxy, white residue. This is a combination of zinc and the oils mentioned above.
This material, whitewax, is perhaps the finest sunblock in the world, but is produced in such small quantities that its harvest for commercial purposes is nearly impracticable. A "farm" of 50 rust monsters would produce a bottle with 5 uses every year, and the cost of feeding the creatures would make that bottle worth about 5000 gp. A single application of whitewax provides the benefits of an endure elements spell (hot environments only) for 24 hours, or until washed off with alcohol (whichever comes first).
do I even want to ask how you know that or what amazing thought processes had to spin for such a detailed description?
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do I even want to ask how you know that or what amazing thought processes had to spin for such a detailed description?
I actually just looked up "rust" on Wikipedia and read the article, since I don't really know much about rust. It mentioned that you can protect things from rust by coating them in hydrocarbon oils (such as the various products used to preserve guns) and zinc. Since most metal objects, like armor and weapons, will be well oiled to prevent rust, that's what would be left over after the rust monster rusted everything oxidizable.
The rest was just starting from the idea that a rust monsters physiology is going to be completely alien, since they clearly have no counterpart in nature to compare them to.
Pure iron.
It's the impurities in steel that rust monsters really want to eat, not the metals themselves.
That... is actually pretty awesome... That could make rust monsters a bit less terrifying, though it could lend itself to flavoring magic weapons and armor.
[HumorousDramatization]
Rogue: "Why is it eating my frickin rapier?! Fighter's greatsword is made of way nicer metal, and more of it!"
DM: "Knowledge checks, everyone."
[Insert successes]
DM: "Rust monsters eat metal for the impurities. Fighter's +2 flaming greatsword was forged from the purest metals mined on the elemental plane of earth by dwarven explorers a hundred years ago, forged in the hottest fires of Hell, and quenched in the purest holy waters of a long forgotten god's glacier temple. The metal is so absolutely perfect that the rust monster does not find it appetizing. It would be akin to me presenting you with the choice of eating a pizza or the box it came in."[/humor]