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Well that makes me feel a bit better, I did most of that right, except, you know, the whole dishes thing(please, I'll clean up after you, but can you not destroy the whole kitchen(and also the whole house) every day? I feel like all I do is clean!)
Also my ex-wife had a crippling addiction to spending money, and after we were married her parents stopped bailing her out, which is how she survived before. To be fair to her I knew about it when we got married but I thought we could work it out before she dug us a hole I'll never see an end of(well actually I did see the end of it after the divorce but still.)
Actually, another thought, those problems might also just be a symptom of marrying at 19....
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MrT and I have been together for 8 years. We are not married. We do have a relationship contract.
Marriage here is a thing you do, if you want to. And for tax benefits. If you dont get married, no one is going to think less of you.
I find the idea that some cultures concider you a failure if you dont marry so weird.
I know people who have been together for 30 years, but never got married.Round my parts marriage isn't super, super important but women tend to feel bad if they havn't gotten married by like 30.
So yeah, there is some societal pressure.
I am of course from the country that made gay marriage legal in 2001
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Eh, thinking about it awhile I'm probably just not good at romantic relationships.
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Romance and thinking don't really mix.
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Romance and thinking don't really mix.
Agreed, forget marriage, I'm just gonna date and continue having fun.
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Point of fact, we don't watch porn together, I watch it occasionally (the General knows, it's part of being open and honest) and then bring what I've learned to her.
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Point of fact, we don't watch porn together, I watch it occasionally (the General knows, it's part of being open and honest) and then bring what I've learned to her.
? This statement confuses me, what do you learn from porn?
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All sorts of things.
It doesn't really matter, just wanted to clarify that for Tacticslion.
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All sorts of things.
It doesn't really matter, just wanted to clarify that for Tacticslion.
Alright, statements like that just alarm me some times. Porn is to actual sex what murdering someone with a baseball bat is to playing baseball; a painful butchering of what should otherwise be a fun, easygoing game.
Not saying that as a judgement of porn and I'm sure it doesn't apply to you but to people in general never, ever, learn or copy anything people are doing in porn, they're literally doing it wrong.
All sorts of things.
It doesn't really matter, just wanted to clarify that for Tacticslion.
Thanks! I'unno, I've heard people do, so I (incorrectly) inferred. Sorry!
But otherwise I think it still stands. :D
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Alright, statements like that just alarm me some times. Porn is to actual sex what murdering someone with a baseball bat is to playing baseball; a painful butchering of what should otherwise be a fun, easygoing game.
Not saying that as a judgement of porn and I'm sure it doesn't apply to you but to people in general never, ever, learn or copy anything people are doing in porn, they're literally doing it wrong.
Yeah. Sounds kind of like learning how to play <sportsball> from <kids sportsball film from the 80s>. "Do everything, but want it hard enough, and show up and it'll work out great."
I mean, sure, feels great as a movie experience, but, daggum, those kids who spent all their time working toward that one goal - how crushing you think it would be for them to fail like that in real life? And how likely are they going to just... flub it like that?
(Mighty Ducks aside, 'cause that guy totally stole their star player, and that one actually kind of makes sense.)
Porn's basically the same thing. Feels great as a movie experience (*cough*), but if put into practice as-advertised it... likely doesn't end in the same good feelings.
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I'm hardly more than newlywed, so I can't speak to 'how things are' after decades of marriage. I'd love to still be madly in love with Mrs Sunrise in another 40 years and still be enjoying an amazing sex life, and we've talked about this, but Cap's situation does seem to be unusual. For us, the point of marriage is to have a person we love, as LM once said, even if we're not necessarily in love anymore. Someone we can depend on as we get older, someone to compliment our strengths and shore up our weaknesses, someone to just hold each others' hand as the years go by. My person, as Mrs Sunrise says.
I'm hardly more than newlywed, so I can't speak to 'how things are' after decades of marriage. I'd love to still be madly in love with Mrs Sunrise in another 40 years and still be enjoying an amazing sex life, and we've talked about this, but Cap's situation does seem to be unusual. For us, the point of marriage is to have a person we love, as LM once said, even if we're not necessarily in love anymore. Someone we can depend on as we get older, someone to compliment our strengths and shore up our weaknesses, someone to just hold each others' hand as the years go by. My person, as Mrs Sunrise says.
That I can totally dig and makes sense to me.
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It's actually kinda a big problem in the states because our sex ed is such s$~@ and always has been that, young people in particular, try to learn about sex from porn.
The issue is beyond basic mechanics pretty much everything in porn is wrong from a sex feeling good stand point. The "Sex" in porn is deliberately designed to look good for the camera but is in almost all cases absolutely terrible from a trying to have a good time point of view.
I personally think it's hilarious that people think blow jobs should involve your head bobbing up and down, but that idea is so widely spread because of porn it seems like that's the default for people trying to have real sex these days. Sure, it might look the best, but it's a damn far sight from feeling the best.
Then you get into more extreme stuff like anal where folks often think because of porn there isn't a pretty lengthy preparation process, leading to folks trying it by just jumping to it, which of course isn't fun at all and makes it unlikely to want to be repeated.
Then the real popular one guys always want girls to try(beyond butt stuff); deep throating, to which I always say, in all seriousness, try to at least get an idea of what you are asking before asking.
Here is what you do, peal a banana as close in size to your dong as you can, then try to stick it halfway down your throat, now pull it out, now push it back in. Do this for at least a few minutes.
Assuming you havn't choked to death or are passed out in a pool of vomit, congratulations! That is what you are asking for.
Porn is as much fantasy movies as the Lord of the Rings are fantasy movies but the, somewhat dangerous, difference is that no one is climbing into active volcanoes because of Lord of the Rings but regular people actually try to emulate porn on a regular basis.
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I just meant different positions, covering everything in sheets, romantic lighting, sexy showers, lingerie, that type of stuff.
Edit: remember, we both grew up in the rural Midwest where missionary is something the neighbors do in South America every few years and foreplay is a golf term.
Edit 2(The Reediting): And that's all I'm saying on the matter.
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I intend to try playing a basic version of 2e AD&D with my other half, her mate, and her kids tonight, but am also bringing dominos in case it doesn't work out.
It worked! ALL (DE) liked it, and her daughter enjoyed it so much she insisted on playing through another adventure this morning. She was particularly taken with the grey ooze, for some reason, and we spent a good few minutes discussing whether or not it'd be able to climb up stairs. I thought it probably couldn't; maybe I should ask James Jacobs and see what he thinks, as I bet he luurves sensible questions like that.
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Also I agree passionate love is not the basis of a successful marriage but to me after that you are just friends so why marriage?
I understand the religious reasons but it doesn't seem to me that marriage adds all that much to the strength of a relationship when you can get the same things out of being lifelong buddies with the same strength of dedication to one another.
As an ace guy with an ace fiancee, our impending marriage is equal parts "for the social/financial benefits" and "because our extremely conservative families would look very disapprovingly on an unmarried man and woman cohabiting even if we know there's nothing going on".
And yes, said parents know we're asexual. I quite literally had to tell my mom, "We are not interested in sex. At all. Either of us." And her response was "Why get married then?" to which I had to explain "One, because you and everyone else in our religion would lose their minds at an unmarried man and woman living together, and two, because taxes."
(Which also sheds a not-so-flattering light on my parents' interpretations of marriage; despite spending the past 30+ years of my life teaching us along with the church that marriage is all about love and dedication and companionship, the instant sex is removed from the equation suddenly the response is "Why get married then?" ....)
Other than that it's quite literally going to be nothing different than our current arrangement other than we're living together rather than four states apart.
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I'm watching porn right now.
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** Point of order**
I'm watching porn right now.
What a coincidence, me too.
All sorts of things.
It doesn't really matter, just wanted to clarify that for Tacticslion.
Alright, statements like that just alarm me some times. Porn is to actual sex what murdering someone with a baseball bat is to playing baseball; a painful butchering of what should otherwise be a fun, easygoing game.
Not saying that as a judgement of porn and I'm sure it doesn't apply to you but to people in general never, ever, learn or copy anything people are doing in porn, they're literally doing it wrong.
more like a badly dubbed and edited 70s kung fu flick vs an actual martial arts class.
And no, you aren't necessarily doing it wrong, but you may hurt yourself or someone else doing what you saw on tv.
** Point of order**** spoiler omitted **
Most people are wise enough to not imitate what they see on TV but there seems to be a weird exception for sexual stuff for some reason in some cases.
Be safe. Have fun. Don't hurt yourself by trying to copy media, that's all I'm saying.
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** spoiler omitted **** Point of order**** spoiler omitted **
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** spoiler omitted **
I am sorry I didn't mean to do that. Although I will say I am not hostile to any of the sex ideas I mentioned, I was just talking about the reality of the situation in explosive terms =/. I love hyperbole.
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** spoiler omitted **** spoiler omitted **
** spoiler omitted **
I dig it.
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Also I agree passionate love is not the basis of a successful marriage but to me after that you are just friends so why marriage?
I understand the religious reasons but it doesn't seem to me that marriage adds all that much to the strength of a relationship when you can get the same things out of being lifelong buddies with the same strength of dedication to one another.
As an ace guy with an ace fiancee, our impending marriage is equal parts "for the social/financial benefits" and "because our extremely conservative families would look very disapprovingly on an unmarried man and woman cohabiting even if we know there's nothing going on".
And yes, said parents know we're asexual. I quite literally had to tell my mom, "We are not interested in sex. At all. Either of us." And her response was "Why get married then?" to which I had to explain "One, because you and everyone else in our religion would lose their minds at an unmarried man and woman living together, and two, because taxes."
(Which also sheds a not-so-flattering light on my parents' interpretations of marriage; despite spending the past 30+ years of my life teaching us along with the church that marriage is all about love and dedication and companionship, the instant sex is removed from the equation suddenly the response is "Why get married then?" ....)
Other than that it's quite literally going to be nothing different than our current arrangement other than we're living together rather than four states apart.
I have a few brothers in ace marriages, they're quite happy.
Also I agree passionate love is not the basis of a successful marriage but to me after that you are just friends so why marriage?
I understand the religious reasons but it doesn't seem to me that marriage adds all that much to the strength of a relationship when you can get the same things out of being lifelong buddies with the same strength of dedication to one another.
As an ace guy with an ace fiancee, our impending marriage is equal parts "for the social/financial benefits" and "because our extremely conservative families would look very disapprovingly on an unmarried man and woman cohabiting even if we know there's nothing going on".
And yes, said parents know we're asexual. I quite literally had to tell my mom, "We are not interested in sex. At all. Either of us." And her response was "Why get married then?" to which I had to explain "One, because you and everyone else in our religion would lose their minds at an unmarried man and woman living together, and two, because taxes."
(Which also sheds a not-so-flattering light on my parents' interpretations of marriage; despite spending the past 30+ years of my life teaching us along with the church that marriage is all about love and dedication and companionship, the instant sex is removed from the equation suddenly the response is "Why get married then?" ....)
Other than that it's quite literally going to be nothing different than our current arrangement other than we're living together rather than four states apart.
I hope not to offend but I've always been curious, when you are asexual do you still feel infatuated with a person sometimes? Or are traditionally "romantic" feelings absent as well?
Edit: I'm just suspicious sometimes if romantic love is just sex drive in disguise.
Oh, a question that occurred to me during the FF / single-sex race discussion:
Would trans members of such races make any more or less sense than trans humans?
This is probably a good question for the LGBT thread, but I'll ask here first.
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I'm just working out in the sun and going for a swim. Was part of the reception table for my BFs bro's table yesterday and realized there may be things we may have missed out on our wedding planning. We may need a reception table after all - just to see when the guests are there so we can get started. The restaurant also closes at 2.30 pm(when we did food tasting we started at noon, finished at 1.40 pm), but I realized from yesterday's experience to expect that not everyone will come on time. And that can cause issues in the case of overruns.
I'll need to check what is the restaurant policy on overruns.
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Also I agree passionate love is not the basis of a successful marriage but to me after that you are just friends so why marriage?
I understand the religious reasons but it doesn't seem to me that marriage adds all that much to the strength of a relationship when you can get the same things out of being lifelong buddies with the same strength of dedication to one another.
As an ace guy with an ace fiancee, our impending marriage is equal parts "for the social/financial benefits" and "because our extremely conservative families would look very disapprovingly on an unmarried man and woman cohabiting even if we know there's nothing going on".
And yes, said parents know we're asexual. I quite literally had to tell my mom, "We are not interested in sex. At all. Either of us." And her response was "Why get married then?" to which I had to explain "One, because you and everyone else in our religion would lose their minds at an unmarried man and woman living together, and two, because taxes."
(Which also sheds a not-so-flattering light on my parents' interpretations of marriage; despite spending the past 30+ years of my life teaching us along with the church that marriage is all about love and dedication and companionship, the instant sex is removed from the equation suddenly the response is "Why get married then?" ....)
Other than that it's quite literally going to be nothing different than our current arrangement other than we're living together rather than four states apart.
I hope not to offend but I've always been curious, when you are asexual do you still feel infatuated with a person sometimes? Or are traditionally "romantic" feelings absent as well?
Edit: I'm just suspicious sometimes if romantic love is just sex drive in disguise.
They are two different things.
There's even two different terms for them - asexual (lack of sex drive) vs. aromantic (lack of romantic attraction).
I am asexual but heteroromantic.
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As promised, me in sleeveless and
All dressed up!
Rawr!
*Waggles eyebrows*
Looking good Mort!
Hi, everyone! Drowning my Convention disappointment for this year in a tub of ice cream.
*Sends back pats and man hugs*
Mrs Sunrise is home and recovering!
Yayy!!!
*Sends Mrs Sunrise positive thoughts and hopes she heals up quickly*
...The restaurant also closes at 2.30 pm...
Wat
As promised, me in sleeveless
GJ Mort.
All the talk of Wrath reminds me of when I put a call out to all my brothers for a Skull & Shackles campaign. I specifically said it was a pirate campaign with a significant amount of time pirating at sea. No paladins!.
Yup, out of 6 people I got three paladins and a cavalier, all focusing on heavy armor, and then were shocked when they were immediately thrown on a ship conducting piracy.
In case you couldn't tell, my brothers don't listen to me.
I bet I could think of a paladin-ish concept that could fit into a pirate themed game. It would be far from the classic for sure. Go with that gun archetype, play him kind of like will turner from Pirates of the Caribbean... It probably would be easier to do it with a ranger TBH but I think I could make it work.
All dressed up!
Wow.
I'm gonna skip all those spoilers.
So who missed me?
Wow at least 30 people have called me in the last 40 minutes.
I'm gonna skip all those spoilers.
So who missed me?
I did. Three times, in fact.
I really need to work on my aim.
Darn it gran you made me giggle in the middle of a call where I'm delivering bad news!
Bwahaha!Darn it gran you made me giggle in the middle of a call where I'm delivering bad news!I'm gonna skip all those spoilers.
So who missed me?
I did. Three times, in fact.
I really need to work on my aim.
I've had upwards of 50 people I've had to tell that we are sold out tonight already. I was in mid sentence. I should just make a recording.
Just answer the phone "Thank you for calling the (insert hotel name here). We are sold out tonight."I've had upwards of 50 people I've had to tell that we are sold out tonight already. I was in mid sentence. I should just make a recording.Bwahaha!Darn it gran you made me giggle in the middle of a call where I'm delivering bad news!I'm gonna skip all those spoilers.
So who missed me?
I did. Three times, in fact.
I really need to work on my aim.
My manager doesn't like that she thinks its rude.
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All I can say is that I'm not the best person to ask about marriage/relationship advice. My experience is vast but also atypical, and what works in my life isn't exactly in the mainstream consciousness.
You make a good point sir.
All I can say is that I'm not the best person to ask about marriage/relationship advice. My experience is vast but also atypical, and what works in my life isn't exactly in the mainstream consciousness.
Its kind of weird to say but being atypical is kind of typical.
But yeah relationship advice is hard to give everyone is so drastically different in that regard.