Precisely, advice on what ? :)
Precisely, advice on what ? :)
I can give you advice about living in Sydney.
If you live in Sydney and you leave you shoes outside overnight, always bang them together and double check that, no Redbacks or Funnelwebs have crawled into them, the bite of a Redback will make an adult sick, and the Funnelweb is the most poisonous spider in the world and its bite will kill you fast.
First aid for funnel-web bites consists of applying a pressure immobilization bandage. Pressure immobilization is the wrapping of the bitten limb with a crepe bandage and splint. It was originally developed for snakebites but has been shown to be effective at slowing venom movement in funnel-web bites and may also slowly inactivate the venom.
Then call 000 (not 911 in Australia) and pray that they get to you fast enough.
I hope that advice helps.
:-)
Precisely, advice on what ? :)I can give you advice about living in Sydney.
If you live in Sydney and you leave you shoes outside overnight, always bang them together and double check that, no Redbacks or Funnelwebs have crawled into them, the bite of a Redback will make an adult sick, and the Funnelweb is the most poisonous spider in the world and its bite will kill you fast.
First aid for funnel-web bites consists of applying a pressure immobilization bandage. Pressure immobilization is the wrapping of the bitten limb with a crepe bandage and splint. It was originally developed for snakebites but has been shown to be effective at slowing venom movement in funnel-web bites and may also slowly inactivate the venom.
Then call 000 (not 911 in Australia) and prey that they get to you fast enough.
I hope that advice helps.
Luckily i live more or less at the opposite part of the planet ( Italy ) but will treasure your advice :)
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
A stitch in time saves nine.
Don't run with scissors.
Don't spit in the wind.
If you're not sure, sit down and be safe. Or if you just feel like it. This is not a spectator sport; nobody will know.
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Don't say everything you think. Don't do everything you think. Be original: be yourself. Keep friends that you can trust. Be careful of new acquaintances. Don't fight with anyone, but if you have to fight, you had best win. Listen, and don't speak all the time. Take their opinion, but don't judge them on their opinion. Don't overspend on accessories. Dress nicely, not richly. People judge you by what you wear. French are snotty with Dress, so remember your stature. Neither a borrower nor a lender be. If you loan money, you'll lose friends. If you borrow money, you won't manage very well. Be true to yourself. If you are true to yourself, you will be true to others. Think of this everyday and you'll do it everyday.
Dude.....I don't know you.
99 percent of putts that are short don't go in.
It sure beats the hell out of rooming with Phil Rizzuto. — when asked what he thought of Marilyn Monroe marrying Joe DiMaggio
A good ball club. — when asked what makes a good manager of a baseball team
A home opener is always exciting, no matter if it's home or on the road.
Don't get me right; I'm just asking!
It was a dry rain. — when asked if rain had an effect on the outcome of a game
No one goes there any more; it's too crowded.
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
Even Napoleon had his Watergate.
Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.
He's a big clog in their machine. — referring to Ted Williams
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I'm as red as a sheet.
I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did!
I couldn't tell if the streaker was a man or a woman because it had a bag on its head.
I guess that's the earliest I've ever been late. — on arriving five minutes late to an interview rather than his usual half-hour
I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.
I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?
I think they just got through marinating the greens. — commenting on his performance after playing a poor golf game
I usually take a two hour nap from 1 to 4.
I wish I had an answer to that, because I'm tired of answering that question.
I'd find the fellow who lost it; and, if he was poor, I'd return it. — when asked what he would do if he found a million dollars
If I didn't wake up, I'd still be sleeping.
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
This has also been attributed to computer scientist Jan L. A. van de Snepscheut and physicist Albert Einstein.
It ain't over 'til it's over.
It's never happened in World Series competition, and it still hasn't.
It's not too far; it just seems like it is.
It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future.
A variant of this has also been attributed to physicist Niels Bohr, and others.
It was hard to have a conversation with anyone; there were so many people talking.
Little League baseball is a good thing 'cause it keeps the parents off the streets, and it keeps the kids out of the house!
Most of his home runs were hit on artificial turf. — when asked why Johnny Bench hit more home runs than he did
Never answer an anonymous letter.
Overwhelming underdogs. — describing the 1969 New York Mets
Pitching always beats batting — and vice-versa.
Slump? I ain't in no slump! I just ain't hitting.
Steve McQueen looks good in this movie. He must have made it before he died.
Surprise me! — when his wife, Carmen, asked where he would like to be buried
The only reason I need these gloves is 'cause of my hands.
The other team could make trouble for us if they win.
The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.
The wind always seems to blow against catchers when they're running.
There are some people who, if they don't already know, you can't tell 'em.
Think? How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?
We have a good time together, even when we're not together. — talking about his wife, Carmen. He implied he likes to have some time away, but also likes to get back together.
We're lost, but we're making good time.
When the duck walks in, you know it's alive. — on whether the AFLAC duck is real or mechanical
Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.
You better make it four. I don't think I could eat eight. — at a dinner in an Italian restaurant, when asked into how many slices his pizza should be cut
You don't hit with your face. — Yogi's standard response whenever someone told him he wasn't handsome
You don't look so hot yourself. — reply when told he looked cool in his summer suit by the New York Mayor's wife
Yogi's teacher: You don't know anything, do you Berra?
Yogi: I don't even suspect anything, sir.
You have to give 100 percent in the first half of the game. If that isn't enough, in the second half, you have to give what's left.
The similarities between me and my father are completely different.
(Dale Berra said this when asked if he took after Yogi.)
I can't concentrate when I'm thinking.
And they give you cash, which is just as good as money. — in his appearance in an AFLAC commercial when explaining the cash back policies of the company.
The box is always open, until it's closed. — explaining the condition and disposition of a box of Entenmann's Chocolate Chip cookies during a television commercial
Wear sunscreen.
Don't touch that, you don't know where it's been.
Quit picking that, it will get infected/stuck.
Nothing good happens after 2am.
Don't drink and drive.
"Sweetie, don't pet strange dogs. You don't know where they've been."
-my mother
If it seems to good to be true, then it is.
Everything in moderation, including moderation.
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Don't use people and love things; love people and use things.
Before reaching for a Tylenol to cure a headache, ask yourself, "Was it the lack of a Tylenol that brought on this headache?" No. Most likely it was lack of water, lack of sleep, etc. Make the lack the cure.
Stop dieting. The best way to lose weight, gain weight or maintain weight (your body will determine which it needs) is to eat only/always when you are hungry and stop when you are (politely) full. If everyone found out this secret, the multi-billion dollar diet industry would fall apart.
Don't focus on your weaknesses; focus on your strengths. You do this by feeding your strengths instead of trying to overcome your weaknesses. Also, don't focus on hiding what you don't like or improving them, focus on highlighting what you do!
Learn from the past, plan for the future, but live in the present. Guilt and regret cannot change the past, and worry and anxiety cannot change the future.
Best parking space: Because the closest distance between two points is a straight line, you should park in the row directly in front of an entrance, even if it is far away. That way you don't have to worry about remembering where you parked and you will naturally walk straight when you exit the store anyway.
Best way to render telemarketers speechless: In perfect English say, "I don't speak English." Wait a few seconds ( he/she will be stumped and not say a word) Proceed by hanging up and laughing. ( or you can just call block them)
Everything works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out, it's not the end.
" Showing up with rum is normally a good idea. Showing up naked with rum is sometimes a good idea."
Don't put it in your mouth, you don't know where it's been.
The five second rule dosn't aply at a beach or a waste treatment plant.
Cow manure is suprisingly clean compared to the crap the washes up on a beach.
Also never open your door to a land shark.
Don't eat that yellow snow...
Don't pick up a duck in a dungeon.
Dont let internet explorer trick you into double posting...
yeah...thanks guys. i threw up the post, it didnt taste good, and decided this wasnt the best spot for my need of advice, but apparently having a blank post start gets 30 more hits than one in the pathfinder advice thread where i put talk about the advice i need, only to have no one even look at it, let alone respond....
so ill try this again...in "i need some advice, part dew"
+1 on the sunscreen
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
but trust me on the sunscreen
+1 on the sunscreenBe careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
but trust me on the sunscreen
I couldn't remember any good lines from that song. Thanks.
Ladies and gentleman of the class of '98
people often ask me if I have any advice to offer
and when they do, I tell them this:
If you're unsure about what you're going to do with your life
try to remember some of the most interesting people didn't know what
they
were going to do at age 22 or even at 40, and nearly all of them are
unemployed drug addicts forced to live on cat food.
Also understand that friends will come and go - this is because of your
irritating personality - nobody likes you. So if the only thing getting
you
through the day is the misconception that people like you - end it now.
(gunshot)
Learn how to smoke Winnie blues. If you're underaged, get an older kid to
buy them for you. Get to really know your parents - they're good for
money.
Milk them, then put them in an old people's home. Travel as often as you
can. Live in New York City once. Live in northern California once. Never
live in Adelaide - it's a hole.
Maybe you'll marry. Maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll have children. Maybe you won't. If you do have children,
lock
them under the stairs.
Do one thing each day that scares you. Sing. Dance. Jump in front of a
car.
Do not trust anyone who tries to update Shakespeare for the kids. And
if
you see Quindon Tarver in the street - punch him in the face for me...
Brother and sister, we can be free.
(punching-sound-effect, feedback)
If you're worried about the way you look, try to remember you're
probably
fatter than you think. Maybe you should consider an eating disorder.
Don't
worry too much about the future. If you're nervous about an exam, ring
up
your school at the scheduled time and make a bomb threat. If you're a
girl,
lie about period pains to get out of anything that you don't want to
do. Cheat if you think you can get away with it. Remember, someone with
richer parents is getting private tuition.
Shoplift as often as you can. Shopping centres factor shop lifting into
their prices so if you don't do it, it's like they're getting money for
free. When you're on work experience, steal a cabcharge and take a taxi
to
Perth. Wear sunscreen, but only if its that coconut oil that gives you
cancer. Keep your old love letters. If you see an old lover in the
street,
try to run them over in your car. Don't mess too much with your hair,
otherwise by the time you're 35, you'll look like Greg Matthews.
Remember
you can wear your underwear 4 times without washing: forwards,
backwards,
inside out forwards, inside out backwards.
Brother and sister we can be free-ee-ee,
Brother and sister, we can belieeeeve, we can belie-
(multiple gunshots)
Congregate in gangs around train stations and shopping centres. It's a
free
country. It's public space. Skateboard on war memorials. Smoke in your
school uniform. Set off car alarms. Plant drugs on a teacher. Join a
cult.
Spike drinks. Don't flush public toilets. Remember, only you will only
truly take care of you - so carry a concealed weapon. Don't wear your P
plates. Walk around with your eyelids rolled back. Touch you tongue on
the
tip of batteries. Be open to new love. Remember, you can't get pregnant
the first time you have sex. Expect others to support you. It's easy to
get
the dole - and still do cash in hand work. Respect your elders. When
your
grandma dies have her stuffed. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss
them
when you're kneecapped by a lone shark. Get revenge. Don't forgive
anyone
for anything. But most of all, don't aim too high - You're probably only
suited to an office or factory job.
And trust me on the Winnie blues
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Director of Narrative
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"Kick your own ass. The universe neither cares about you nor recognizes any obligation to you. It is fixed and blind, a mad robot programmed to kill. You are free and seeing; you must outwit it at every poor turn.
Whatever your labors & aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, you must create your own sanity, prosperity, and peace. The world is so gorgeous it hurts. Be careful. Strive to be happy."
-Romana Machado
To clarify: Do not give the cats opposable thumbs.
It's ok. All we do is chase the Key West chickens and drink catnip mojitos.
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If you go to get something out of your car and you leave your keys inside, the car doors are locked, but if you have your keys they are not.
Murphy is everywhere. Get used to it.
The sun will rise tomorrow, unless it is cloudy and then it is assumed to have happened.
You only have to be right once not to be paranoid.
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, unless your neighbor over fertilizes and then it's brown.
White dog crap in the park may look like a powdered cruller, but I assure you it does not taste nearly as good.
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Bella Sara Charter Superscriber
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To clarify: Do not give the cats opposable thumbs.
That is terrible advice.
First off, if you're using animals to dispose of the bodies of your victims, you should use hogs. Everyone knows they do the best job.
Now, if all you have on hand are cats, fine, use cats. But, if you are using cats GIVE THEM THE WHOLE BODY TO EAT. Do not withhold the thumbs, opposable or not.
One important caveat: this does not apply if you are withholding the thumbs in order to craft fetishes or other magical items that will vest you with the powers of the dead.
Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight.
Never deal with a dragon.
Don’t start a land war in Asia.
Never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
Let the Wookie win.
Never tell me the odds.
Don’t press the red button.
Cut the blue wire.
Come with me if you want to live.
You forgot - Get to the Chopper!
One important caveat: this does not apply if you are withholding the thumbs in order to craft fetishes or other magical items that will vest you with the powers of the dead.
Thumbs make good fetishes. I only learned that after I gave the cat a big pile of them, though. I was sucked in by the spleen fetish fad of '04.
If you ever take a trip to Naples leave your wallet at home
when in Rome, do as the Romans
Life is pain. Anyone telling you differently is selling something.
When anyone asks if you are a god say Yes.
Everything is relative. Eat a frog the first thing everyone morning. This way it everything else seems good.
There are no bad hair days. Even if a rabbit could survive the tattoos and nose pearcings, they could not rule. Not even for a day.