|
FYI, we need 10 more players for the softball team. We're playing OfficeTech Incorporated Insurance Financial next week and could use some good players. I think Diversion Division requires 10 weeks of work related recreation each year, so it may be mandatory for some of you.
remember that you are not to enjoy it however. Otherwise H.R. will have to charge you admission. The employee handbook clearly states that job satisfaction is the same as staling from the company.
|
Bella Sara Charter Superscriber
|
Do you think we could get maintenance to take all these pink stickers off my stapler? I don't know how they got there.
I used to have a stapler with pink stickers. Why would you want to take them off? They make me happy, just like my poster of babies dressed up like jazz musicians.
Maintenance does not have worker's compensation insurance for office supplies, so they can not handle staplers. You will have to talk with your office technician.
|
Do you think we could get maintenance to take all these pink stickers off my stapler? I don't know how they got there.I used to have a stapler with pink stickers. Why would you want to take them off? They make me happy, just like my poster of babies dressed up like jazz musicians.
Oh. Maybe that was yours then.
When we removed the stickers, they left a sticky residue on the stapler, so I threw it out.
Also, if anyone sees my stapler, please let me know. It's pink and has some heart stickers on the side. I checked with Frank, Francis, and Frannie and none of them remember lending their staplers out (and none of them are pink).
Sorry, I haven't seen it.
{wipes her fingerprints off newly purloined stapler, adds it to growing collection in bottom drawer of boss' file cabinent; also shelves new copy of Dr. Phil's "Don't Be a Hoarder" book next to boss' Ayn Rand collection.}
Hey! When did posting get changed so you could scroll up in the thread while typing? Neat.
Didn't you get the email about the memo about it?
Did anyone else heare that they are planning to cancel Employee Appreciation Day in order to have a conference on Employee Morale?
That is just an unfounded rumor.
|
|
Did anyone else heare that they are planning to cancel Employee Appreciation Day in order to have a conference on Employee Morale?
Well, I hope the lobster and steak they're providing at that conference will be enough to make people feel better about the fact that they're not getting raises this year.
In order to facilitate the use of vacation time by employees, all time spent in the bathroom will be charged against your vacation bank.
NOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Please lower your voice. Remember the Respect Your Coworkers seminar we all attended last year.
Do you think we could get maintenance to take all these pink stickers off my stapler? I don't know how they got there.I used to have a stapler with pink stickers. Why would you want to take them off? They make me happy, just like my poster of babies dressed up like jazz musicians.Oh. Maybe that was yours then.
When we removed the stickers, they left a sticky residue on the stapler, so I threw it out.
Waste management requires that you fill out a 8 page form in triplicate whenever you throw out office supplies. That includes sticky notes.
Also, if anyone sees my stapler, please let me know. It's pink and has some heart stickers on the side. I checked with Frank, Francis, and Frannie and none of them remember lending their staplers out (and none of them are pink).
Sorry, I haven't seen it.
{wipes her fingerprints off newly purloined stapler, adds it to growing collection in bottom drawer of boss' file cabinent; also shelves new copy of Dr. Phil's "Don't Be a Hoarder" book next to boss' Ayn Rand collection.}
Hey! When did posting get changed so you could scroll up in the thread while typing? Neat.
Didn't you get the email about the memo about it?
In order to facilitate the use of vacation time by employees, all time spent in the bathroom will be charged against your vacation bank.
I thought we were allowed to use sick time.
|
|
Did anyone else heare that they are planning to cancel Employee Appreciation Day in order to have a conference on Employee Morale?Well, I hope the lobster and steak they're providing at that conference will be enough to make people feel better about the fact that they're not getting raises this year.
Sorry, that was a mistake. The menu for the Executive lunch room got switched with the morale seminar. Here is the real menu.
I thought we were allowed to use sick time.In order to facilitate the use of vacation time by employees, all time spent in the bathroom will be charged against your vacation bank.
If anyone needs me, I will be taking a porcelain cruise.
Sorry, that was a mistake. The menu for the Executive lunch room got switched with the morale seminar. Here is the real menu.Did anyone else heare that they are planning to cancel Employee Appreciation Day in order to have a conference on Employee Morale?Well, I hope the lobster and steak they're providing at that conference will be enough to make people feel better about the fact that they're not getting raises this year.
Squirral and grits?
If anyone needs me, I will be taking a porcelain cruise.
Will you have your blackberry with you?
They make me happy, just like my poster of babies dressed up like jazz musicians.
{Types up notes from boss' meeting about not hanging pictures and posters on the cubicle walls; emails it companywide.}
|
|
If anyone needs me, I will be taking a porcelain cruise.I thought we were allowed to use sick time.In order to facilitate the use of vacation time by employees, all time spent in the bathroom will be charged against your vacation bank.
Make sure you dial into this afternoon's conference call while you're on the toilet.
If anyone needs me, I will be taking a porcelain cruise.Will you have your blackberry with you?
And my IPhone.
Sorry, that was a mistake. The menu for the Executive lunch room got switched with the morale seminar. Here is the real menu.Did anyone else heare that they are planning to cancel Employee Appreciation Day in order to have a conference on Employee Morale?Well, I hope the lobster and steak they're providing at that conference will be enough to make people feel better about the fact that they're not getting raises this year.
Did you run that menu by the health and services department?
Make sure you dial into this afternoon's conference call while you're on the toilet.If anyone needs me, I will be taking a porcelain cruise.I thought we were allowed to use sick time.In order to facilitate the use of vacation time by employees, all time spent in the bathroom will be charged against your vacation bank.
I may just stream it.
|
|
Did you run that menu by the health and services department?Sorry, that was a mistake. The menu for the Executive lunch room got switched with the morale seminar. Here is the real menu.Did anyone else heare that they are planning to cancel Employee Appreciation Day in order to have a conference on Employee Morale?Well, I hope the lobster and steak they're providing at that conference will be enough to make people feel better about the fact that they're not getting raises this year.
The budget departmnt said there was no money for that.
...and of course Frank needs to get his head out of his ass.
...and of course Frank needs to get his head out of his ass.
.....!!!!
...and of course Frank needs to get his head out of his ass.
Crap, that wasn't supposed to go companywide. Sorry Frank. :(
Does anyone have a copy of the memo on the correct usage of Committee, Department, Group, Force and Staff?
Jack, we need to be proactive in dealing with drug abuse. Find someone we can send to rehab. I don't care if they have a drug problem or not.
|
Okay, proference call then.Make sure you dial into this afternoon's conference call while you're on the toilet.Remember, we're not using the word "conference" anymore because of the negative impression.
Nope, sorry! "Proference" sounds too much like "profit" which also polls negatively with the public and university professors.
Where is the e-mail on Upsizing our Profits?
They make me happy, just like my poster of babies dressed up like jazz musicians.{Types up notes from boss' meeting about not hanging pictures and posters on the cubicle walls; emails it companywide.}
{gets out-of-office autoresponder message from boss that was also CCed companywide... replies to it.}
|
|
Nope, sorry! "Proference" sounds too much like "profit" which also polls negatively with the public and university professors.Okay, proference call then.Make sure you dial into this afternoon's conference call while you're on the toilet.Remember, we're not using the word "conference" anymore because of the negative impression.
What about "reactive?" It makes us sound like we are doing something, it has the word active right in it.
|
|
What about "reactive?" It makes us sound like we are doing something, it has the word active right in it.Nope, sorry! "Proference" sounds too much like "profit" which also polls negatively with the public and university professors.Okay, proference call then.Make sure you dial into this afternoon's conference call while you're on the toilet.Remember, we're not using the word "conference" anymore because of the negative impression.
Yeah, but it also sound like "reactionary".
Jack, we need to be proactive in dealing with drug abuse. Find someone we can send to rehab. I don't care if they have a drug problem or not.Barbara, the secretary in HR, has a bottle of Tylenol at her desk. Maybe it's time for an intervention.
rubs hands together Excellent!
|
|
Yeah, but it also sound like "reactionary".What about "reactive?" It makes us sound like we are doing something, it has the word active right in it.Nope, sorry! "Proference" sounds too much like "profit" which also polls negatively with the public and university professors.Okay, proference call then.Make sure you dial into this afternoon's conference call while you're on the toilet.Remember, we're not using the word "conference" anymore because of the negative impression.
Maybe we should run it past the acronym comittee.
What about "reactive?" It makes us sound like we are doing something, it has the word active right in it.Nope, sorry! "Proference" sounds too much like "profit" which also polls negatively with the public and university professors.Okay, proference call then.Make sure you dial into this afternoon's conference call while you're on the toilet.Remember, we're not using the word "conference" anymore because of the negative impression.
Don't forget your reactive call this afternoon.
Do not forget to sprinkle your memo's with these key phrases. (Perhaps NSFW due to language)