I don't know what surprises me more: the fact that this thread is still going, or the fact that it actually contains a surprising amount of interesting and useful information.
You thought it would be full of s***, didn't you? Why am I ***'ing that word? I'll just say it!
SILT!
There, I said it!
I don't know what surprises me more: the fact that this thread is still going, or the fact that it actually contains a surprising amount of interesting and useful information.You thought it would be full of s***, didn't you? Why am I ***'ing that word? I'll just say it!
SILT!
There, I said it!
Duh-Dum, Cha!
I always used it as an excuse to nail one PC first with a wandering monster. They one who bungles their Spot check worst is grunting behind a bush when the owlbear attacks.
In related news, I had a party take a goblin captive once. He was so hapless they didn't want to kill him. But they did insist on keeping him bound hand and foot the entire time. So the PC in charge of the captive got to learn "smeagol," the Goblin word that means "I have to go to the bathroom..."
We had the issue of potty breaks come up in a session the other day and it proved to be a very awkward situation.
The PCs (2 female, 1 male) were stranded in a raft in the middle of the ocean for more than a week. Since they were confined to the raft, there wasn't much privacy. An argument broke out about the most appropriate method for the PCs to relieve themselves. One option was to go over the side of the raft, and another option was to get into the water and relieve themselves below the water's surface.
Oddly enough, the females voted to go over the side of the raft.
The male was more conservative. He opted to go while swimming.
It was pretty intense.
Stay away from all th SW corners.
OK, if all adventurers did this, it'd be a lot harder to get lost in dungeons:
Lem: "Which way now?"
Merisel: "That way, due north-by-northwest."
Lem: "Wha? How-"
Merisel: "Everyone knows to pee in the southwest corner. After a while, you could almost navigate by scent."
Lem: "Now I'm really glad my nose is so stuffed up."
Stay away from all th SW corners.OK, if all adventurers did this, it'd be a lot harder to get lost in dungeons:
Lem: "Which way now?"
Merisel: "That way, due north-by-northwest."
Lem: "Wha? How-"
Merisel: "Everyone knows to pee in the southwest corner. After a while, you could almost navigate by scent."
Lem: "Now I'm really glad my nose is so stuffed up."
That's probably why most gelatinous cubes are found in the SW corner. Snack time!
If there were rules for it, there would have been monsters that took advantages of it. Something based off of throat leeches, ear seekers or some form of ooze or slime, probably.
So when you're wading through any body of water, best not to take advantage of the opportunity to relieve yourself... candiru (NSFSqueamish).
This thread makes me very happy that we've unofficially house-ruled that rings of sustenance also eliminate the need to answer the call of nature.
Bag of holding diapers, of course. It's like an RV. You finish your delve unhindered, then return to town and just unload bag on the peasants below from the second floor of your inn. Toothless destitute love that $@#%.
Hi, I'm Hudak, the mighty Shoanti.
I actually DID use the bathroom. In-game. In the middle of combat.
I food poisoned myself ROTRL SPOILER
Three pages of this thread and not one OOTS reference?
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As a person who works in the architectural field, I do put rest rooms in dungeons, whether it's the kobold's pile of dung in the corner, or an actual rest room, sometimes there's treasure in there too...just need to deal with filth fever...heh.
This is how it works in my group, too. Heh, years ago, one of my PCs had to clean a Manual of Gainful Excersise from giant dung (it had lain on the floor of that cave for some years), and I also remember a few ambushes that took place when a PC was squatting behind the bushes and caught with his pants down. We don't actually role-play going into loo, but we occasionally tell when our PCs take a loo break.
EDIT: KaeYoss reminded me of a wizard's dungeon, which featured a privy that utilized a permanent Disintegration Ring (a variant of Disintegrate).
Also, one of Ed Greenwood's players once shared a story (on Candlekeep.com) about an ambush that featured two would-be-assassins and a privy. It's hilarious, and you can read it HERE (scroll down; it's a post from The Hooded One). :)
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Three pages of this thread and not one OOTS reference?
Yeah, it is pathetic... I blame Mairkurion! ;)
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Amusingly enough, in response to the OP, I'd like to say that my wife has never skipped on this detail of gaming.
Case in point is when my main character ended up in a Gygax module Beyond the Looking Glass. Wherein was contained a fairly modern lavatory with running water and flush toilets. My Paladin took forty five minutes figuring it out, and nearly flushed her beard in a high suction toilet.
And there's the running joke that PC's in deep wilderness are perfectly safe until their pants are around their ankles and they're mid-excretion.
Bag of holding diapers, of course. It's like an RV. You finish your delve unhindered, then return to town and just unload bag on the peasants below from the second floor of your inn. Toothless destitute love that $@#%.
Lolz!
This kind of stuff definitely has come up in all the games I've played in. Maybe not the bathroom stuff so much, but other stuff does.
I played a cleric once in a celtic inspired campaign. He was an ancestor worshipper and his dead ancestors were the source of his powers. His brother was being a real dirtbag and bringing dishonor to their family and disrespecting their ancestors and traditions. My character had been getting irritated by his brother's antics for some time. Finally, his brother tried to force himself on a girl my character was friends with (and who my character was in love with but couldn't find a way to express it and tell her.) This was the straw that broke the camels back.
Using the "You may also invent your own curse, but it should be no more powerful than those described above." option of Bestow Curse, my character cursed his brother with impotence (the actual wording was much more poetic for dramma, but that is what it was) for the rest of his life, or until he attoned for his misdeads. The curse was bestowed in a large gathering in front of the entire town, after telling of his misdeeds. Needless to say that had a huge impact on the town and my characters standing rose highly in the town after this incident, but everyone, including everyone in my party, from that day forward was afraid of the possibility of me cursing them!
I acutally enjoy that there are maps with bathrooms.
And I can only steal one other gamer's suggestion. astral portal underwear
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I'd like to know why PCs never go to the bathroom.
Magic or not, don't people still have to poop in Pathfinder?
Why aren't there any stats for this?Sure, getting less than 8 hours of sleep may cause fatigue, but what about holding your bowels INDEFINITELY? Seems unhealthy...
It's hard to imagine Seoni popping a squat behind some bushes, but I'm sure it happens.
I think some things are just better to gloss over in Fantasy RP. I'd hate to fail my Fort save vs. "the dwarf had dark beer last night" or fumble my "make it to the can just in time" roll.
Besides, that's what fear effects are for. :)
Pants of Holding:
Aura: Moderate Conjuration; CL 9th; Slot: Lower Torso; Wt:-
Not to be confused with Bag of Tricks.
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As a DM, my favorite use of a latrine was in an underground tomb guarded by an undying guardian that never aged. The PCs needed to get a key from him to unlock a hidden compartment, but the guardian was nowhere in sight. The part searched the whole complex but didn't find anything. Then, one of them decided to open a door which was obviously the latrine (due to the location on the map and size of the room) and they found a whithered, dessicated corpse with a golden key around it's neck.
A successful heal check determined that the unaging guardian had died of an aneurism.
I did used to put toilets in my homemade scenarios cos all the bought ones didn't have any which just seemed odd to me.
Thirty years later my gaming group still look for the toilets and there is a bigger cheer around the table when they find it tha there is when they find the bulging treasure chests.
Strange lot my players...
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PC potty breaks are best left handwaved. do we really roleplay our time on the loo? adventurers would take at least 10 minutes before the toilet (sometimes more) and even longer after. clothing worn by adventuerers is hard to remove with all that armor. all those belts, straps, bandoliers, holsters, buckles, and scabbards. and thats a lightly equipped adventurer. imagine what a batman wizard or a golfbagged fighter would need to remove. oh wait, a ring of sustenence can fix that. and keep the mysterious waif's waifly figure. no food means nothing to digest. or just take a race with the outsider type. outsiders neither eat, sleep, breathe, drink nor take potty breaks. doing so is completely optional and only neccessary to blend in. meaning anybody playing the mysterious waif might as well play an outsider.
Of all places to find a "loo", I was surprised to find one in Thistletop in Burnt Offerings. Who'd think that goblins actually bothered with a central location. :)
Of all places to find a "loo", I was surprised to find one in Thistletop in Burnt Offerings. Who'd think that goblins actually bothered with a central location. :)
Baby doesn't really digest well.
Couple of old gaming experinces involving bathrooms.
Playing old d6 Star Wars I recall a fight with some troopers on a star destoryer that ended up with us running through a bathroom out the otherside because those in it using it started shooting at us. Then we lobbed a thermal detinator in on them....
I recall in Top Secret game we were in an underground bunker and a shoot out broke out, half the group took cover in the bathrooms while the other half took cover in the showers. The melee's that ensured were pretty dang funny. I believe someone was whipping people with a wet towel, a plunger was used with deadly force, and some guard got a swirly.
And of course there was the secret entrance to the goblin caves, through their toilet.....
adventurers would take at least 10 minutes before the toilet (sometimes more) and even longer after. clothing worn by adventuerers is hard to remove with all that armor.
This is why cumbersome armor includes a butt flap, like the pajamas.
A successful heal check determined that the unaging guardian had died of an aneurism.
Did he look like Fat Elvis?
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As re: succubi, an amusing anecdote...
During the runthrough of the module "Demon Within" my Paladin main character Hildebraun had just lost her only companion and party member to an ambush of boulder hurling demons and was running willy nilly through the Keep trying to get somewhere. She encountered a locked door with four female knights of the Keep trapped outside. They explained they couldn't open the door and they wanted to get inside to safety.
To this point in the adventure, Hildebraun's MO/schtick had always been "I use Detect Evil" to which the universal reply was "You don't find any"
So the one time she FAILS to use Detect Evil... you guessed it, all four of them were succubi who used her to open the sealed door to get access to the Big Major NPC on the other side.
Hildebraun AND the NPC nearly bought it in the next few rounds.
I nearly laughed myself sick.
Well, every time I've ever been in a game and the GM mentions 'Don't you guys ever go to the bathroom? innocently, someone will say 'Yeah, I use that room we passed before the stairs' or something, and they get ambushed by a monster.
I like to have community potties in Dungeons (No Attack Zones, like Cleaner Shrimp stations...even sharks will not eat the other fish there, because everyone needs to use them).
Of course, I put an Otygh/Neo-Otygh at the bottom, but still...Waot, that makes me one of those Ambushing DMs...Hehehe.PCs also never get drunk. When you, the DM tell them that they are starting to get drunk, or buzzed, they will say that they only have one, or two, but not enough to get any penalties...and they never let a flirty barmaid seduce them. She may be a Succubus, or a Drow Assassin...
Players are silly.
One of my regular PCs always says 'Screw it' when approached by cutie ladies of the night,etc...and goesfor it. And I have him roll a Fudge Die to see if he catches anything...and then he usually fails a Fort Save. And he has caught something three times...Cure Disease is a wonderful thing. He loves it, and laughs every time...-Uriel
My players have had to deal with Drunkedness since we first started PF. I house ruled in that you can consume one drink per hour without a problem. It's a WIL DC 12 + Number of Drinks to stop drinking....
However, after every additional Drink you must pass a FORT DC 10 + 2x Number of Drinks per hour or become drunk. Once Drunk, you get a -4 to the above WIL save...
But that's only if they aren't roleplaying. If someone says "I'm going to have 4 beers" Then I let them try to stop at 4 and make the Drunk Test.
And you ahve to adjust this for size too...
As for Bathrooms, doesn't Thistletop have some sort of trash/ refuse shoot and a bathroom...
And I always mention if there is a chamberpot in the room. (This became important in ITHW when one of the characters was in the outhouse when the Magic Dagger gets stolen. Several people witnessed him there and it gave him an alibi later...)
Now, I don't have them play out elimination, but if it comes up, we deal with it. (Can you pee into a Vial of Pure Water to get pure water? What happens if you pee in Holy Water? Or Unholy Water?)
AS for Sex, well that depends entirely on the party and the players...sometimes it can be funny, especially if someone (inevitably) rolls a critical fumble...
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The world is your potty. Considering the conditions of adventuring it would be much like the kakoda trail, maos great march or any other traveling campaign in history. Everyone gets dysentry and because they cannot sit on the toilet all day and need to fight they cut holes in their pants so they can go where they stand/huddle/crawl/sit etc etc
the less romantic reality of adventuring ..
True, very very true.
I'm half tempted to run a game where the toilets are squat-toilets. Watch how many people familiar with 'western' toilets get very confused.
Mine is an evil laugh!
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Yeah, I doubt people had much privacy back in the day.And then there are still 3rd world countries today, like China and India, where defecating in public is still a common practice in some of the more rural areas.
I guess privacy is somewhat of a luxury. It makes sense that a group of rough-and-tumble adventurers probably wouldn't have much privacy since they're always traveling together. There are probably very few secrets between comrades who are always on the road together, so I doubt they think twice when one of them has to take a potty break.
It's really just human nature. Why make a big fuss about it? Just like the title of the infamous book, "Everybody Poops." And that includes super-hot female adventurers.
Or you could be in boot camp. We did not have stalls just a row of toilets and urinals. It didn't really change anything except maybe more conversation whilst going.
Astral portal underwear is golden, as are the underpants of relief. i mean panties of disentigration. do they have an everclean slip?
The world is your potty.
Kind of like rural China?
The world is your potty.Kind of like rural China?
the world is not a toilet. i beleive we should teach dogs to use chamber pots. thats how you get rotting refuse.
This thread gives new meaning to the "Curse of the Crimson Throne."
This thread gives new meaning to the "Curse of the Crimson Throne."
Ha! Good one!
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You never know when the restroom location will become important. The following story happened in Second Darkness, so, spoilers:
I don't think they would adequately deal with tagnuts.
Nice idea though.
Well, I think one might argue that this magic item (as written) would not only take care of your dingleberry problem, but also give you a "Brazillian" in even the most hard to reach places. ;)
I don't think they would adequately deal with tagnuts.Nice idea though.
Gross, man. Just gross.
Well, I think one might argue that this magic item (as written) would not only take care of your dingleberry problem, but also give you a "Brazillian" in even the most hard to reach places. ;)I don't think they would adequately deal with tagnuts.
Nice idea though.
Oops! I've just re-read that article, and it says 'enters' not 'touches'. I stand corrected.
On the cutting front, or indeed cutting behind (ha ha...), surely it would be an all or nothing affair with the hair... I doubt an adventurer would trust his tackle to trims of that nature.
And who said anything about me having such a problem?!?!? :-)
EDIT: I do believe that I've used rhyme, alliteration and punning all in one post. And euphemism as well.
But alas, no double entendres. Once again, the ultimate expression eludes my sweaty grasp.
Oo-err!
<ping!>
Gross, man. Just gross.
I don't think they would adequately deal with tagnuts.Nice idea though.
Hey, its a real problem.