The Kitten Vikings' Thread

[Crimson Jester]

Augury

Spoiler:

Crystal is of a protection nature, to secure the boards from some major threat

[Kobold Catgirl]

Yesterday, at night...

[....]

The Oberjarl pounds the table in fury. The table is split in two.
"ARRRG!!! That damned dracolich killed the shaman! I'll kill him! I'll pound his bones into the dust!!!"
One of his men speaks.
"Sir, I thought you hated the shaman."
"Dammit, yes! He was obnoxious! Always so cryptic and moody! But I didn't want him to DIE!!!"
"Yes, sir. But we all need to calm down, and decide what must be done."
"Oh, I know what must be done." Something glints in the Oberjarl's eyes. "Get me a report on all remaining shamans in the area! The dracolich will be coming to kill us all soon, out of vengeance. WE have to be ready.
"Go to our ship. Gather all the Kittens who can fight. Send out the bird catchers, and get as many giant eagles as possible! If you have to, use dire ones or even plain!
"Send word to our miners and smiths that it is time to double their work. And mages who will help them for money, pay them whatever they want that we can afford. Give word to our homeland to send reinforcements to us as soon as possible.
"The dracolich has struck us a terrible blow. I say it is time we struck back. 'We are still the masters of our fate. And by wise council shall thee make w--'"
The kitten Oberjarl bursts into flame.

[Candle Lighter]

The dracolich grins wickedly.
"Oh dear, did I interrupt a Buffy The Vampire Slayer quote? Here, let me fix that... *Ahem*
'Die!'
The dracolich breathes a cone of flame at the confused kittens.

[....]

The dracolich laughs, a cruel hollow chuckle.
"How was that?"
The kittens, outraged, charge. Their axes bounce off the lich, who proceeds to kill them all with a single thrash of his tail.
The battle is swift and brutal. In the end, the only remaining kittens have fled. The lich chuckles, and flies off into the night.

[Demon Lord of Tribbles]

Are you sure I can't have a few of them?...Just a few is all

[Major Monogram]

You will die now, Candle Lighter.

*raises an army of undead kittens*

Face the wrath of the Cat Lord.

*Begins hunting the boards for Candle Lighter*

[Jarl of the Kitten Vikings]

The few surviving kittens turn to look in horror--and anger.
How--how dare you! How dare you profane the bodies of our fellows!
The kittens (numbering about a dozen)all draw their greataxes.

[Thieving Wasp]

Much later...
Wasp flies in. He looks grief-stricken.
"My friends! Those at the Club are traitors! I have evidence that they have murdered Jay Frogskin, Aunt Esmerelda, Uncle Meepo, Plantjack, and Kobold Cleaver himself! We must hasten, before they find out that we know!"

[....]

The kittens nod.
"Are you certain?"
"I am dead certain, my friends. Just as all my friends are dead. We need to go, NOW."
The kittens nod again, uncertainly.
"Then we shall go. We owe Kobold Cleaver and his friends a debt. Now it will be repaid, though repaid too late."
They sadly but angrily mount their giant eagles and fly out, Wasp flying beside them.

[Emperor7]

A voice is heard

Jarl, you are being mislead. The Champions have not harmed your friends. Our enemies use illusion and shapechanging to divide us.

They divide the Wasp within himself.

Seek deep within. Seek the truth. Let not the Darkness corrupt your steel, and deny you honor.

[Thieving Wasp]

Wasp flies in.
"My friends...I see now what I must do. I see what happened to Kobold Cleaver. It is not true, what I said. I see that now. I, like my mentor, have been manipulated. KC was manipulated to secrecy, I was manipulated to vengeance. You must not follow me."
He flies off.

[....]

Jay Frogskin flies in, accompanied by a large group of Lemmings. The place is empty.
"Hmm. Search the area, there may be some here." Frogskin says, looking unnerved. The Lemmings spread out to search the area.
Suddenly, a force of Defectives twice as large as teh Lemmings leaps up from the debris.
"KILL!" They shout.
"Lemmings, retreat!" Frogskin shouts in horror. "Get out of here!"
But too late. The Lemmings are surrounded. There is no escape.
"Lemmings, defend yourselves!" Frogskin screams, calling on his magics.

[The Defectives]

The Defectives charge forward, crushing the Lemmings between them.
"DIE!!!"

[The Now Flying Dire Lemmings]

The Lemmings struggle to fight back, but they have virtually no chance. They have been tricked. And now they are trapped.

[....]

Suddenly, a kobold, his face covered with a hood, flies in. He blasts a hole in the wall of Defectives, and constructs magical barriers protecting the Lemmings on their flank.
"Run, you fools!" He shouts.

[The Now Flying Dire Lemmings]

The Lemming take the opportunity. They grab Frogskin, who has been knocked unconscious, and flee. The Defectives chase after them, but not far. They don't bother going after what is left of the Lemmings.

[....]

The kobold seems to sigh, and teleports away.