Playing Favorites

[Hunterofthedusk]

In an upcoming Forgotten Realms campaign with a relatively new group, me and the other member of our old group (the new additions to this group) have had trouble getting the DM's permission on any of the non-mainstream races/classes/anything that we bring to the table, but all of the other members have been getting special treatment in the form of previously off-limits races and even one of the other members homebrew content (his own lycanthropy monstrous progression when lycanthropy was previously off limits). It normally wouldn't be a problem being limited to only one or two books, but the problem is that we are the only 2 that are limited in this way. He just seems to have a knee-jerk reaction to say no to us. Do any of you have any advice on how to deal with this kind of DM favoritism/exclusion?

[EileenProphetofIstus]

When I was in high school, my older brother was the DM (he's the one that introduced me to D&D). His best friend was his favorite player, thus favorite character. The favortism was overwhelming. Many years later we tell stories of this favortism and laugh about how unfair of a DM he was. At the time these things happened however, it was extremely frustrating and it was a choice of calling him out on it or creating hard feelings for everyone. We opted to wait it out, the campaigns with these people eventually came to an end; now we laugh about it. I realize that this doesn't help much now, but it may 20 years from now.

If you call the DM out on it you may create a bigger rift than it's worth. It's a shame though that favortism has to come into the game. It shouldn't be there.

[Luna eladrin]

I would still try to ask him tactically why you are not allowed to play what you want, when the others are. Perhaps he has a reason for it. If not, consider whether it is worth playing in this group, because when he shows favoritism now, he probably will during the game, and that will be less fun for you.

[SmiloDan]

Try asking if you can play a race one of the favored players is playing. If the DM says "no," politely ask him why not? He might have a good reason. If he says yes, ask if you can change the race to the one you actually want. If he says "no," politely ask him why not? If the reason not is contrary to your playing style, then you might be better off playing with a different group.

[Tiger Tim]

I think the first thing is to make sure that it is favoritism. It may not be. When I GM, my answer to a player (even to the same question) may be based on how well I know the player. For example, if a player asked to play a class that I knew had potential to be abused and cause problems in the group, I would not allow it for a player I just met. I might for one who I knew well, and felt that I could trust not to cause problems or overshadow other players.

If your GM is giving these things to other players because he feels they earned them, that a little different then favoritism. A choice GM’s have to decide is how to treat new players. Give them the same things that other players had to work for (free levels for example), and you favor new players. Go to far to the other side (force a new players to start at first level when the long time players are 5th level for example) and you favor long term players over new players. Finding a balance that keeps both new and old players happy is a GM’s job.

Talk to your GM, see why he is allowing the other players more choice. If these choices are things that need to be earned, find out what it takes to earn them. If he is a good GM, he will be sensitive to the balance between new players and old. Have this conversation away from the game. Our group used to meet after games to discuss issues like this at dinner. This both keeps the game fun and does not cause friction by questioning the GM about his ruling during the game.

Even if the GM is fair-minded, you still need to decide if you feel his decisions are fair. If not, talk about what you feel is fair. Decide what you can or cannot live with and be polite and firm about it. If you can’t come to agreement, your best bet is to find another group. My hope is that it does not come to that.

Cheers

[Hunterofthedusk]

Well, one person is being allowed a few things that sent his level 2 character through the roof, but the most that the DM and he have interacted has been through Warhammer 40K games. The DM is the owner of a geek store (quite literally), and the other person that gets favoritism (alleged favoritism I guess) is someone who spends quite a bit of money there.

That said, most of it has been cleared up. I confronted him about it and explained why it was bothering us, and he has become more lenient. Although when I mentioned the other player's (the warhammer guy) modifications, which were taken from a message board write up when we weren't allowed a few things from books, the other player got very defensive about it. Other than that, everything has been cleared up.

[Sudokori]

My past Dm was my firends big brother and favoritism wasn't as much blatant, just kinda annoying when his character would occasionally get fudged rolls and slightly better loot. It wasn't bad, just kind of annoying