Over the last year I have been running a campaign with some friends and it is going well. Our group consists of all guys who meet weekly to roleplay. One player consistently roleplays female characters, not always, yet frequently. This has started to cause some grumblings among other players who are not comfortable with the situation. Personally, I have no problem with his roleplaying or his characters as his current character is great.
I am not too sure how to fix the situation as he is really into his character and it has also become quite important to our campaign, yet I don't want to lose a player because of it either. I am thinking of asking him to change characters as I don't want to lose players. Is this unreasonable?
In roleplaying games, players play characters, whether they are stocky and bearded, small with furry feet, slender with pointy ears, furry, scaly, with or without boobs.
If your players are not comfortable with one of them playing a woman, they have an issue...
Over the last year I have been running a campaign with some friends and it is going well. Our group consists of all guys who meet weekly to roleplay. One player consistently roleplays female characters, not always, yet frequently. This has started to cause some grumblings among other players who are not comfortable with the situation. Personally, I have no problem with his roleplaying or his characters as his current character is great.
I am not too sure how to fix the situation as he is really into his character and it has also become quite important to our campaign, yet I don't want to lose a player because of it either. I am thinking of asking him to change characters as I don't want to lose players. Is this unreasonable?
Yes, I think it is unreasonable. May I ask why they are uncomfortable with the situation? They must feel he is gay or some weirdo, or else why would they object to his decision? In which case if they think that then they are very shallow.
I have played female pc's from time to time and I also play with another male friend who also plays female pc's, and I can assure you we are both heterosexual and quite "normal", not that there is anything wrong with it if we weren't.
Personally if it was me I would tell the players who have the problem that they can find a new game if they don't like the situation.They are doing to him what the general population does to us role players, which is ridicule and think us weird for role playing to begin with.
Seconded. This is called homophobia, which is even more obvious given the fact that playing a female character is not necessarily a sign of a player's being gay; it can mean many different things. And it's all so silly. After all, as DM, you play female characters. Are they "uncomfortable" about you?
Unless you provide the reasons why your players are upset, homophobia is going to be my answer as to why.
As to what you should do about it? You should talk to each individual privately, hear their side, ask them if they have a problem with you playing female NPCs and, if they don't, tell them their being silly. Be nice and don't use the word homophobia, even though that's what this is. Just tell them to worry more about surviving your next killer dungeon, and less about silly stuff like this.
Yes, I think it is unreasonable. May I ask why they are uncomfortable with the situation? They must feel he is gay or some weirdo, or else why would they object to his decision? In which case if they think that then they are very shallow.
One of the other players objected to us having to roleplay a scene which involved the female character being romantically linked to a male NPC. While most of the interaction was discussed one on one with the player a bit of it was done in general session as well. Two players grumbled about it but one was particularly objectionable. He e-mailed me with the next day and said it was not what he wanted from the game, that the session made him feel uncomfortable and he wanted it to stop.
I spoke to the player in question and he said he was feeling uncomfortable as well. While he had expected a few jibes here and there, he was not impressed with some of the comments made around the table. He actually felt embarassed, like he had done something wrong. I didn't mention my e-mail discussion as I didn't want to make him feel even more disheartened.
I personally find nothing wrong with a male playing a characteress. Not as such. Of course, there can be problems - if the guy plays his character like a b@!$$ who jumps on everything male, thing can get annoying; if the player cannot stand the occasional jibe like "well, I let his character take the lead so I can stare at her ass" (this actually happened. Difficult situation: Newblood player, insisted on playing a female character with high charisma, unable to distinguish in character and out of character, and somehow didn't see before that *those* guys will let no opportunity to be machos pass - and create opportunities where none are).
I think as long as the guy plays reasonably, it's not fair to tell him to change his character because other people have issues. You should talk to said other people first. Get to know the story. If they think they have to leave because of this, maybe it's the best thing to do. Well, actually, dealing with the issue rather than avoiding it one way or the other is the best thing to do, but after that comes the practise of not punishing someone for doing nothing wrong.
Some players are uneasy when other players play romantic scenes. Perhaps you should talk with the player who plays the female character and decide to tone down or gloss over the romantic scenes. It sounds as if this might be the problem, but of course I do not know your group and cannot tell for sure.
Are your players still very young?
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Fact is, that many men are uncomfortable with the simple notion of a male playing a female character even if the portrayal is understated. If you think this is bad, the level of paranoia on an MMORG, where you can't see your other players, makes OP example a cakewalk in comparison.Can you give us more information?
I'm inclined to agree with the posters before me, but it is possible that the way your player roleplays his female characters is making your other players uncomfortable.
For example, if he portrays them all as shrieking, domineering harlots, the issue might be his.
As an educator, I'm quite aware of this prevalent attitude. But I don't think it is fair of us to jump on the other players, especially without knowing what the situation apart from "guy pretends to be girl, other guys are put off by it".
*chuckle*
One of the most well developed and interesting male characters in any of my campaigns was played by a female player, and one of the most well developed and interesting female characters was played by a male player.
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Our entire gaming group (mostly men who've been married for 10 to 20 years) plays characters of different genders at time (even in online games, where that sort of thing is more controversial). The only time we had a male player who absolutely refused to play a female character, he was the sort of guy who spent an hour in the morning doing his hair. Not gay, but *very* image-conscious, and I think he didn't have an objection with males playing females (he certainly didn't care that the rest of us did, for all the years we gamed together), but that he didn't want to be *seen* doing that.
Guys who play female characters as enormous sluts, or provide overly-Penthouse-letters-y descriptions of their sex lives are cringe-inducing, since they're just advertising their pathetic-ness, but the people I game with regularly are well beyond that stage of adolescence.
It sounds like the romantic scene bugged them, so I'd recommend dropping that sort of thing from future games. *Particularly,* if the male characters aren't having any romantic set-pieces, since it singles out the female character if she's the only one getting romantic subplots.
Even when playing long-term *male* characters, I tend to avoid romantic subplots, because I'm not comfortable roleplaying them. (And if they get sexualized, major heebie-jeebies, regardless of the character's gender, because I'm just not cozy sitting around talking about imaginary sex with a bunch of people.)
This question come up on the various World of Warcraft (third party ones too) forums oh about every other hour or so. :)
I saw the numbers on a study site for WOW. Of all MMOs in the study (second life and maple story were in there too i guess), it has the fewest female players, but the largest number of female avatars.
Shrug. I get tired of playing male character after male character after male character. Just like I get tired of playing human after human after human. For variety I like to mix things up from time to time and throw in dwarves, elves, warforged, shifters, halflings and females... in no particular order. Every character is different from all the myriad pile of corpses I've played before, and none of them is an offensive stereotyped portrayal of a gender.
Let's put it this way: the sexuality of my characters doesn't come into the game, regardless of if they're male or female. It's not relevant. But the sex... that DOES. Nobody gets uncomfortable in my group.
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Have all the male characters each find a Deck of Many Things and have them all get the 'change sex' card. (Make it a cursed deck so every card picked is the change sex card...)
That should prove to be an insightful experiment to see who has a problem and it could open up some discussion on the topic. Maybe even seeing how to deal with it.
Calling the fella names and trying to apply pathology to the fellow doesn't really solve anything.
You have someone in your group who has a problem with what other characters are doing. You find the behavior reasonable, but he doesn't.
You handle it like you handle any such situation. You bring that one player aside and you discuss it with him. Find out the problem. Find out if there is a resolution. If there isn't one, bring it to the group. 5-6 heads are better than 2. If no solution can be found, the guy may need to find a new group.
Don't let the fact that the problem is a male/female RP issue muddy the waters on how you handle it. A group problem is a group problem, and you handle it as such.
-S
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One of the other players objected to us having to roleplay a scene which involved the female character being romantically linked to a male NPC. While most of the interaction was discussed one on one with the player a bit of it was done in general session as well. Two players grumbled about it but one was particularly objectionable. He e-mailed me with the next day and said it was not what he wanted from the game, that the session made him feel uncomfortable and he wanted it to stop.
If this is the case, then would these other players feel the same if they witnessed a male player, with a male character roleplaying out a romantic scene with you as GM playing a female NPC? It sounds as if they would.
So whilst the other players' attitude may still stem from some level of homophobia, the answer is not to have the male player change the sex of his female character, but instead to avoid all such romantic roleplaying, no matter who is involved.
Of course, if some of you want such romantic sub plots, then you want different things to the other players and you may either need to compromise play styles or split the group.
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Well I mix n' match..currently i'm playing one female and two male characters in pbps here on the boards..my last properly developed character was female in a Conspiracy X game...in which i set out to deliberately freak out my gaming buddies by playing a submissive masochist..it had the desired effect as nobody knew how to deal with her.
In the games I'm running here i have a potential romantic situation developing between two characters both played by male players..frankly it's easier running that sort of thing in pbp.There doesnt seem to be any uneasiness on the part of any of my other players over this I guess we are all grown up about it
I have however had successful romance subplots in PnP games between male characters and female NPCs
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RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32
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Our group consists of all guys who meet weekly to roleplay. One player consistently roleplays female characters, not always, yet frequently.
This sounds suspiciously like me. ;)
Personally, I don't see a problem with it. The other guys I play with give me a bit of a ribbing, but it's in fun and they have no problem with it either. I have no problems with gay people, but I am very much heterosexual. I see it as more of a challenge from a roleplaying aspect to play a female character. Fully three quarters of my characters are female (just look at my PbP characters for confirmation of this), of all different races. It's not always about playing the "hot babe" either.
Why is it that someone has no problem playing a weedy 3ft halfling, but they have a problem with someone else playing a female human? To me, that shows a problem with the people not playing the female character. Homophobia is the most likely culprit, but there could be other factors involved. You need to find out exactly why the other players are having a problem to determine the course of action needed.
Some players are uneasy when other players play romantic scenes. Perhaps you should talk with the player who plays the female character and decide to tone down or gloss over the romantic scenes. It sounds as if this might be the problem, but of course I do not know your group and cannot tell for sure.
That's very true. I've messed that up in game and it was very embarrassing.
First, homophobia, a name used by those with a decidedly more polically correct bent, for those who dont accept the lifestyle choice, and it is kind of getting tired and worn out.
I had the same thing happen in one of my games. First there was the joke of the barabarian coming-on to the female paladin, and then emails after the game session that it was too distracting to other players. Then the question arises; what is the purpose of a man playing the part of a woman? What purpose did it serve in our campaign? It brought nothing but distraction so I ended it.
This may be fine for some, and what makes you happy, is great for you; go for it I say. But if it serves no purpose but as a distraction at your table, put an end to it. Just because people are uncomfortable with it does not make them "homophobic". It means thay have an opinion. There is nothing wrong with that at all. If the majority of the players dont like it, then stop it. The same can be said for smokers, drinkers, those who use profane or lude language at the table, etc. One person making everyone else uncomfortable, and no one speaking up for fear they will get labeled as a homophobe is rediculous.
This is about a player making other players uncomfortable. Political dabate and homsexual rights, phobias, etc, have no place at my table. Do what makes your game fun for you and your players. Sometimes that means setting limits.
It sounds like the romantic scene bugged them, so I'd recommend dropping that sort of thing from future games. *Particularly,* if the male characters aren't having any romantic set-pieces, since it singles out the female character if she's the only one getting romantic subplots.
Even when playing long-term *male* characters, I tend to avoid romantic subplots, because I'm not comfortable roleplaying them. (And if they get sexualized, major heebie-jeebies, regardless of the character's gender, because I'm just not cozy sitting around talking about imaginary sex with a bunch of people.)
I agree with Set here. It sounds more like the scenario than the players' roleplaying. Trying to change people's comfort level can be a pretty daunting task, and may increase the tension.
Questions to ask yourself - How important is the romance/life aspect of the game/campaign to you? Is it worth alienating/losing a segment of your players?
That's very true. I've messed that up in game and it was very embarrassing
It happens to all of us.
When you DM a long time you kind of develop feelers for this. If a situation is embarrassing for the other players, I tend to shorten it or even stop it altogether. If this does not work, I talk about it with the group after the game session, or individually with the players involved.I also try to give all the players roughly as much screen time. Sometimes this is hard, since some players are more proactive than others.
That said: I have 8 male players and 2 female players (divided over two groups) and at the moment they are playing 3 male characters and 7 female characters. None of these characters is a "babe". They play romantic and even slightly erotic scenes, but up to a point. I usually gloss over the specifics, especially when scenes become erotic.
Some players may have issues with some situations, and this does not automatically mean they are homophobic. Talk with them first and discover what the trouble is before you judge. Perhaps they were just bored.
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Homophobia is the most likely culprit, but there could be other factors involved.
In my limited experience, the majority of 'homophobia' seems to come from people (straight or gay, and while not every 'gay-basher' is actually in the closet, some indeed are 'protesting too much') who aren't comfortable with themselves or are insecure in their identity.
Pushing them on this will only lead to more discomfort, and a sense that they are being threatened. Best to avoid it entirely, as these sorts of things can get ugly if they feel backed into a corner. Fear may not lead to the dark side, but it most definitely can lead to violence. Scared people are dangerous people, every bit as likely to lash out if they feel threatened as a cornered mountain lion.
It's not anybody's moral mission to 'correct' other people for 'wrongthink.' If they think something (or someone) is scary, that's their problem that they have to live with, so long as they don't run around beating people up because of it.
I play females in video games. *shrug* don't think much of it, really.
Why, you ask?
Fighting Games: Females tend to be faster or more unorthodox. (Cammy, Taki, Jill, Makoto)
MMOs: I'm a guy. I'd rather not have a male's rear in my face for the 70+ hours I've played the game when I can just as easily have a female's with no functional difference.
RP: Wiggly area there. I can write 'em pretty decently, since I like writing. So forums are okay, if I have an idea that won't let go. PnP? Possibly, but again, its got to be a character idea that won't let me go.
You could try to (over a period of time) desensitize your players by having one game out of the month (if weekly) be "flip day", where you reverse their genders for that game (if its a 1-shot), or have them play females that day. Sooner or later, they'll stop making T&A jokes and just play. You can only hump everything so many times before the hilarity fades.
Unless they're always immature.
Must be homophobic. Or not.
The problem may be:
1)dislikes game "wasted" with romantic scenes. Perhaps the only time romantic scenes occur is when this player is playing a female character, thus no female character means no wasted time (on this issue).
2)dislikes having to keep mixing up the gender pronouns ("so what does he want to do?" "She? Oh right, what does 'she' want to do?").
3)finds male players that need to play female characters are too often "drama queens" sucking up valuable game time (see #1 as a special case).
Right now I have a male player playing a female character (at least I assume so) on a pbp game, I have no problem, because I only use the character's name/gender when referring to stuff in game. I don't pay attention to the player's "real avatar/name". I also have a woman playing a male catfolk in a game at my home each Saturday and I am always getting the gender mixed up (worse, I can't just look at the miniature and see what gender it is). I find it extremely frustrating and have the urge to tell the play not to play cross-gender characters but I fight this urge because nobody but me is bothered by it.
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I only penalise players for character choices if they are abusing a situation. The first thing to do is probably to talk to the person who sees a problem.
I don't think homophobia is a line worth pursuing, I know most homophobes associate homosexuality and effeminacy (i've no idea why) but I would expect that the concerned player probably just mixes a host of meta-game assumptions into his roleplaying (ie. he plays with Big Dave, so even when Dave is playing a halfling, Berwend, with STR 6 and a cowardly nature his character still treats Berwend like a solid, imposing person).
For a player like that, one who struggles to see the game world in-character, changes of gender, sexuality, status or race (not species, race) can be distracting.
I've played with someone who assumes all of my characters are just an elven/dwarven/gnome/whatever version of me with special powers (puissance at arms, spellcasting, etc.)
He pretty much ignores that my character is a rakish fop, or a clumsy oaf, or a reserved, quiet monk and just treats them like "Geraint, plus sword".
The reason that I don't associate such an attitude my be that the player I have in mind is gay. It's worth noting that he only really plays caucasian humans (plus the odd half-elf) and when he DMs his NPCs usually have the same instincts and attitudes whether they're Derro, Ankhegs, Drow, Humans or Dragons.
Maybe you just have a player who needs to flex his imagination a bit more - perhaps your players could all have character sketches with them at the table, to act as a constant reminder of who is playing what?
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- perhaps your players could all have character sketches with them at the table, to act as a constant reminder of who is playing what?
That's especially useful at conventions or in first games with new characters, a flip card (fold a sheet of paper in half and stand it up) that has a picture of the character on one side and some quick combat stuff on the other, sitting in front of the character sheet like a tiny 'Players Screen.' The player has their combat info right there, and the other players can see the character every time they look in that direction.
This is about a player making other players uncomfortable. Political dabate and homsexual rights, phobias, etc, have no place at my table. Do what makes your game fun for you and your players. Sometimes that means setting limits.
But this is also a recipe for limiting the group to the narrowest player's preferences or comfort zone, when maybe it's better for that player to just go.
Keep in mind that it sounds more like the response to the female PC's sex is the disruptive behavior, not the behavior of the "offending" PC or player. Personally, I focus my limit setting on disruptive behavior. If a female PC played by a male player is an otherwise positive and contributing member of the gaming group, then that's the player and PC I'm going to support.
It has been my experience that men (and it's always men) that have a problem playing someone of the opposite sex are either like 10 years old or are emotionally immature.
There is a homophobic undercurrent involved that is linked to gender roles. When a man plays a character of the opposite sex he's stepping out of his identity which is threating to other men.
Until I started GMing I'd never role-played a female character. Now I do so regularly and it's alot of fun. In a recent encounter I portrayed a female palace concubine/spy of the BBEG who seduced our party's sorcerer. I decided to have fun with it and barely refrained from laughing my ass off when the sorcerer's seven foot tall player blushed bright crimson from head to toe.
Good times.
So really...what's the big deal?
Dunno, I play both genders, sometimes happily stereotyping, sometimes the gender being little more than a line on the character sheet...
Some players have had issues on gender switching. I know DMs who discourage it (not necessarily because it is "icky", but because in their experience different gender is rarely played well). I know players who as a rule don't do it (again, sometimes just because they don't think they could do it well). And then again, there are players who are interested in playing men or women, humans or dwarves or animated chairs...
So it would be nice to find out a bit more: what type of campaign? How are the characters played? What are the motivations?
In some campaigns playing a cleric might be a detractor, as you might insist on playing out your dogmas etc. while others wish you would shut up and be a nice healbot...
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A big factor in whether a person is OK with 'transvirtuals' (a term coined on an earlier, similar thread...), is whether they have ever been DM. If you have, then you play everybody in the campaign, so have to get used to it.
A lot of players have no interest in DMing, and even refuse to do it, because they are only interested in playing a glorified version of themselves. They have trouble understanding that PC=/=player, and probably have other problems with separating player knowledge/character knowledge, or that what happens in one campaign, stays in that campaign (hence, revenge attacks on other players for things that happened years ago, between other characters).
I find such people heavy work.
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Fact is, that many men are uncomfortable with the simple notion of a male playing a female character even if the portrayal is understated. If you think this is bad, the level of paranoia on an MMORG, where you can't see your other players, makes OP example a cakewalk in comparison.Can you give us more information?
I'm inclined to agree with the posters before me, but it is possible that the way your player roleplays his female characters is making your other players uncomfortable.
For example, if he portrays them all as shrieking, domineering harlots, the issue might be his.
I used to occasionally play a female character, just because it opens up more gaming options. We have one guy who can't stand the idea of a guy playing a woman. He has lots of excuses why it just should not be done. So, we don't play other sexes in the game. The female gamers must play females and the males must play males.
Same thing in WOW. He will never play a female character and thinks it weird that I do. I figure if I have to look at the toon it might as well be something I would rather look at. Personally I think it werid staring at a guy's ass all day when you play.
Since we know in advance that he is a flake, we have no problems and just play what he is comfortable handling.
In this case, I would talk to the players who feel offended and get them to question themselves why they feel offended. Then since the player said he felt weird cause of the comments, I would ask if he wanted to switch characters for free. All in all it should be a growing experience for everyone and still be able to play the game.
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Straight men sexualize women, even (or especially?) fictional women. There's an unconscious hierarchy that most men will map out, determining their standing, sexually and competitively, with members of their group. It tenacious and often ridiculous, leading many players to attribute more importance to gender than type (“sure, she’s a child-eating demon of pestilence, but she’s a hot demon of pestilence”).
I don’t think homophobic is the right term to use. It assumes that these players think all gay men want to be women. It’s more pernicious than that. They can’t find a space for a character who registers as both male and female. It messes with the hierarchy. Homophobic comments might just be the language they use to deal with it.
That said, the only guys I’ve played with who have a large (everyone's allowed a few giggles now and then) problem with it aren’t exactly the most, um, socially successful guys. Too much gaming and not enough real life romance leaves them sexualizing - and sensationalizing – fictional females a little too much.
Of course, this is all just my opinion. Don’t hurt meeee!
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Straight men sexualize women, even (or especially?) fictional women. There's an unconscious hierarchy that most men will map out, determining their standing, sexually and competitively, with members of their group. It tenacious and often ridiculous, leading many players to attribute more importance to gender than type (“sure, she’s a child-eating demon of pestilence, but she’s a hot demon of pestilence”).
I don’t think homophobic is the right term to use. It assumes that these players think all gay men want to be women. It’s more pernicious than that. They can’t find a space for a character who registers as both male and female. It messes with the hierarchy. Homophobic comments might just be the language they use to deal with it.
That said, the only guys I’ve played with who have a large (everyone's allowed a few giggles now and then) problem with it aren’t exactly the most, um, socially successful guys. Too much gaming and not enough real life romance leaves them sexualizing - and sensationalizing – fictional females a little too much.
Of course, this is all just my opinion. Don’t hurt meeee!
Yeppers what he said.
You might have the offended guys read this thread. They wouldn't need to respond. Just nee to figure out why they are acting like they are.
After all Knowing is Half the Battle.
In my experience, you have two tyoes of gamers (male types mind you). You have the open minded guys, and the hounds. The open minded guys are generally descently socially succesful, have wives/gfs and arent living with their moms at 30. Then the hounds (named because they will hump ANYTHING), they are a different story. These are the guys that every cartoon and comic make fun of, and are the stereo typical gamer. Now of these you would assume the hounds are the worse offenders here and you would probably be right. But in my experience some open minded gamers still just don't want to deal with it because of 1 hound in the group.
An amusing anecdote is the case of a Friend of mine's brother. My friend was the DM of our longterm campaign of the time, and we had a decently large group. He invited his brother to the group and we were all cool with it until, he decided to play a female. Now mind you we were okay with it until he explained himself for choosing a female (voluntarily mind you) "I want to show you guys that I really can roleplay so I've chosen a female. Now I want you to take me seriously and treat me as if I was a female in the campaign world... Oh and since I'm female I have womanly needs and if I'm in a cave and there's a something hard I can hop on..." Which immidiately made the rest of us cringe and suddenly we had a problem. His antics went so far that it caused a huge fight within the group and one of the group almost beat the crudd out of him and threw him out of a 2nd story window. Good times.
This has started to cause some grumblings among other players who are not comfortable with the situation. I am thinking of asking him to change characters as I don't want to lose players. Is this unreasonable?
It is up to your players (the ones who have a problem) to discuss it among themselves. They have to - at the very least - be semi-competent and semi-social enough to resolve such issues on their own.
This isn't your problem.
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I don't think it's a case of homophobia so much as a mild bit of sexism. For most of us, men are manly and women are womanly, and the two aren't supposed to really cross, so it makes people uncomfortable when it happens and they aren't used to it. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with them being uncomfortable, and it doesn't make them bad people, and you should be happy they were considerate enough to talk to you descretely about it, so you can try to deal with the issue without hurting anyone's feelings.
There are a couple of easy solutions you can try...
1. Offer to let the player of females swap out characters (instead of forcing him). This could be something in-game (ie: she retires after an injury, but her brother steps in to help out) or just ret-conned so that the character was always male.
2. It sounds like this character has been playing female PCs for a while, but nobody minded too much; it looks like it only became an issue when the character's gender stood out. Maybe if you just avoid more situations like that: romanctic scenes, sexism, excessive clothing descriptions, ect, you can come to a happy medium, since he can still play the character he wants, but the rest of the table doesn't have it shoved in their faces.
There are also some more complicated resolutions, like sitting everyone down to talk about how they're feeling and how you can reach a solution everyone is happy with (and I don't mean everyone else just browbeats one player into playing it their way). I certainly don't endorse kicking anyone out because they feel a little uncomfortable (if anything, that will make whoever it is feel more justified in their position and less likely to compromise in the future).
I can understand your players being a bit uncomfortable. I've had men play women in my campaigns and do it very badly, and as a girl gamer, that gets old REALLY fast. I'd also mention some things about understanding the female experience, but I somehow doubt that's what's got your boys so upset :)
Over the last year I have been running a campaign with some friends and it is going well. Our group consists of all guys who meet weekly to roleplay. One player consistently roleplays female characters, not always, yet frequently. This has started to cause some grumblings among other players who are not comfortable with the situation. Personally, I have no problem with his roleplaying or his characters as his current character is great.
I am not too sure how to fix the situation as he is really into his character and it has also become quite important to our campaign, yet I don't want to lose a player because of it either. I am thinking of asking him to change characters as I don't want to lose players. Is this unreasonable?
Asking your crossplayer to change in order to stop the group from grumbling will solve nothing. Sure it means they'll stop grumbling now but it also means they'll grumble again when a similar situation crops up and they'll grumble louder.
Your grumbling players need to learn to shut up and hold their tongues. It's something that they were supposed to have learned in primary school. Your crossplayer has done nothing wrong and needs to understand that.
Creative Director
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Since the vast majority of my characters in RPGs are female, I'd have to side with the player playing the female character on this one. If I were to join a group where the rest of the players weren't mature enough to handle that, I'd quit the group... ESPECIALLY if the other players didn't seem to have a problem with the GM playing male and female NPCs.
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Have to agree with James on this. Everyone can feel how they want, but to me it has always seemed to be a maturity issue. I have seen guys play good and horrible female characters and same with the girls playing males. As long as they don't go over the top in a mocky way I don't care, as long as they are trying to RP and have fun.
But in my personal experience it normally as to do with the maturity level of the players on how well they can play them or how they deal with others in the group that play them.
This is not something easily solved. If you give in and force the one player to change, when he is doing nothing wrong you are punishing him and partially ruining his fun. Plus if you give it and just tells those that complained if they grumble enough they can change what they want.
Personally i recommend talking to each person one on one and then as a group and see if you can resolve it. This is not really something we can help you with, since it depends a lot on the people in question. I think this is something that need to be handled differently with each group of people. Wish i could be of more help but good luck with your problem.
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I can understand why some people have a mild issue with gender-bending at the game table -- one of the women in my Pathfinder Society group plays a male character, and her husband plays a female character, and I have the damndest time keeping that straight and am always using the wrong pronoun.
But that's no reason to demand a player not play the character they are interested in playing.
Plus, I like my female characters. They rock.
I think one thing that should be addressed is why the other players feel uncomfortable. I don't have any problem with male players playing female PC's, however, I do remember playing with one particular male player.
He would have his male PC's womanize...constantly...and I mean "The world's going to end unless we do somthing in the next 5 seconds!" "Yeah yeah, so what's your sign?" constantly (in fact my first (and only time) playing a female PC became a chore to play because of this). As you can image, the group as a whole got annoyed very quickly, so any female characters (PC's or NPC's) would just ignore the character should he make any comments or remarks which entails him making a move on the character (which was just about everything this person said).
So naturally, with his male characters not getting what he wanted he started playing female characters....oh god that was so much worse.
@OP - If your situation is anything like this, then I would side with your players. If it simply a case of someone playing a female character for some variety or an RP reason then theres nothing inheritly wrong with it.
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I once played a female character, and had great fun.
The character was a bard1/midwife5/gossipgirl21 and while obviously very stereotyped, it was funny for a while. I annoyed the other players (all male) a lot, but that had nothing to do with sex.
I think they should discuss it between themselves, but I see nothing wrong with your player.