I got hit in the face with a pigeon! Yes I got hit in the face with a pigeon.
It had been raining most the morning, but stopped around 12. I had the day off and was feeling a bit blue so I thought I would go for a walk and enjoy the stormy windy weather. I walked down to Knoxville's World Fair Park and as I'm strolling around zoned out in my head when, WHAM! SMACK! a pigeon the size of a Pomeranian hits hard spinning and clawing at my face. I collected myself and looked for the pigeon. The dire pigeon fell to the ground and just looked at my like "What the f!@k why didn't you move?" All I could do was look back at him and say "F!@k man you're a pigeon you should have moved!" We stood there for about 30 seconds staring at each other before he hoppled away looking at me like I was an a&@$!!% for standing where he was flying, and I walked to the restroom to see how badly he scratched my face thinking 1. How the hell did this just happen? 2. Why did this pigeon have such an attitude problem.
Fizz
LOL! OMG.
That is the funniest thing I've read in a year.
Sorry about your face.
Good thing it wasn't a turkey. Or an ostrich.
Good thing it wasn't a turkey. Or an ostrich.
I hate being ostrichcized.
My brother hit a magpie at 140 kph on a bike. Took a while to clean the feathers and bones out of the cowling and Christ was he ever covered in blood.
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My brother hit a magpie at 140 kph on a bike. Took a while to clean the feathers and bones out of the cowling and Christ was he ever covered in blood.
My friend Mike took an owl to the windshield while going about ninety miles per hour down a hill at two in the morning. The thing punched a perfectly circular hole in the glass, and got kinda wedged in there. Mike pulled it out, shoved it in his freezer, and never got the car fixed. To this day (about two years later), there's a bloody, feathery, tape-covered hole in Mike's windshield. I think he still has the owl, too.
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I got hit in the face with a pigeon! Yes I got hit in the face with a pigeon.
It had been raining most the morning, but stopped around 12. I had the day off and was feeling a bit blue so I thought I would go for a walk and enjoy the stormy windy weather. I walked down to Knoxville's World Fair Park and as I'm strolling around zoned out in my head when, WHAM! SMACK! a pigeon the size of a Pomeranian hits hard spinning and clawing at my face. I collected myself and looked for the pigeon. The dire pigeon fell to the ground and just looked at my like "What the f!@k why didn't you move?" All I could do was look back at him and say "F!@k man you're a pigeon you should have moved!" We stood there for about 30 seconds staring at each other before he hoppled away looking at me like I was an a#*~*&% for standing where he was flying, and I walked to the restroom to see how badly he scratched my face thinking 1. How the hell did this just happen? 2. Why did this pigeon have such an attitude problem.
Fizz
I'd make a joke about the Goodfeathers trying to whack you but nobody probably remembers that cartoon. :(
I hate having an albatross around my neck.Good thing it wasn't a turkey. Or an ostrich.I hate being ostrichcized.
Yeah, that look went out in the 70's.
I'd make a joke about the Goodfeathers trying to whack you but nobody probably remembers that cartoon. :(
LOL the Animaniacs! I remember the three pigeons.
Fizz
I'd make a joke about the Goodfeathers trying to whack you but nobody probably remembers that cartoon. :(
I like Slappy Squirrel better, but the Goodfeathers are still cool.
It's time for AAAAAAAAAAANi-maniacs! We have pay for play contracts!
Wait, are Yakko, Wakko and Dot freelancers for Paizo? O.o
Perhaps I should recruit some Dire Pigeons to assist the Lemmings...
Maybe he was seeking revenge for what Randy Johnson did to his relative.
Was it a pigeon named Larry?
Maybe he was seeking revenge for what Randy Johnson did to his relative.What the HELL?
Randy Johnson, for those who don't follow baseball, is a 6'11" power pitcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks. In his prime, his fastball was faster than anyone on the planet's. Unfortunately, as Johnson released a pitch during a spring training game in March of 2001, a dove flew through the ballpark in the space between Johnson and home plate. Both ball and bird were disintegrated in the impact.
The plate umpire's official ruling was "no pitch."
Mike
Did the pigeon apologize?
Did you hit it back in the face?
At least he didn't poop on you!
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I got hit in the face with a pigeon! Yes I got hit in the face with a pigeon.
It had been raining most the morning, but stopped around 12. I had the day off and was feeling a bit blue so I thought I would go for a walk and enjoy the stormy windy weather. I walked down to Knoxville's World Fair Park and as I'm strolling around zoned out in my head when, WHAM! SMACK! a pigeon the size of a Pomeranian hits hard spinning and clawing at my face. I collected myself and looked for the pigeon. The dire pigeon fell to the ground and just looked at my like "What the f!@k why didn't you move?" All I could do was look back at him and say "F!@k man you're a pigeon you should have moved!" We stood there for about 30 seconds staring at each other before he hoppled away looking at me like I was an a&*@#!% for standing where he was flying, and I walked to the restroom to see how badly he scratched my face thinking 1. How the hell did this just happen? 2. Why did this pigeon have such an attitude problem.
Fizz
Pigeon from Hell, my a$2!!!
Let's sue the pigeon! And possibly your city's local government....
Ummm...we're very sorry that we sent Bob the pigeon to attack you.
Please don't hurt us.
Thank god I am not the only one. I have been hit by a pigeon as well but not in the face. I was walking home from high school one day and had a pigeon fly head first into my shoulder. My friends were on the ground laughing before it had a chance to give me a dirty look and hop away. That was the same week I had a squirrel fall out of a tree onto me.
I've also had a confrontation with a three legged squirrel who was trying to protect his garbage can. I was trying to throw out my half eaten sandwich when he jumped out the garbage can and charged me. We stared off for about 30 seconds before my brain engaged and I realized I was facing off with a three legged squirrel. So I tore off a piece of the sandwich, threw it on the ground and through the rest out. My co-workers and I nicknamed him Tripod and spent the summer feeding him and warning people about how territorial he was with his trashcan.
So did you get hurt at all Fizz? You might want to go to the doctor anyway since pigeons are like rats on wings, disease and pestilence in flight.
So did you get hurt at all Fizz? You might want to go to the doctor anyway since pigeons are like rats on wings, disease and pestilence in flight.
Yeah I got a couple of scratches on my cheek nothing big. I'm sure it was a diseased flying rat, but that will no way in hell make me go to the doctor. I'd rather be bit by a ratcoon...again...
Fizz
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RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32
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Both ball and bird were disintegrated in the impact.
Okay, I realize we're taking some liberties with the term "disintegrated" here, but seriously?!? The ball was destroyed too?!? Holy s!~# that sucker must've been cookin'! Baseballs are not soft. Birds... are. There must have been some insane velocity on that pitch to bust up the ball, especially considering that getting hit with a wooden bat generally doesn't do the trick.
Both ball and bird were disintegrated in the impact.Okay, I realize we're taking some liberties with the term "disintegrated" here, but seriously?!? The ball was destroyed too?!? Holy s%&@ that sucker must've been cookin'! Baseballs are not soft. Birds... are. There must have been some insane velocity on that pitch to bust up the ball, especially considering that getting hit with a wooden bat generally doesn't do the trick.
There's no way the ball broke apart. The bird? Yeah, disinegrate might as well be the word to use.
A squirrel shat on my head in 2005 while I was on my way to a very important annual meeting. In 2006, on my way to the same meeting, another squirrel (or maybe the same evil one) shat on my head again. In 2007, I wore a hat to the meeting and everyone laughed.
I have never been shat on. With my luck, fate is just saving it all up for a Ringling Bros tragedy with me starring in the lead.
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8
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A squirrel shat on my head in 2005 while I was on my way to a very important annual meeting. In 2006, on my way to the same meeting, another squirrel (or maybe the same evil one) shat on my head again. In 2007, I wore a hat to the meeting and everyone laughed.I have never been shat on. With my luck, fate is just saving it all up for a Ringling Bros tragedy with me starring in the lead.
Oh! Oh! I got felt up by an elephant once too. That was pretty scary. I kind of just decided to lay very still and hoped Simba got what she wanted and moved on.
Oh! Oh! I got felt up by an elephant once too. That was pretty scary. I kind of just decided to lay very still and hoped Simba got what she wanted and moved on.
Pachydermalicious. You are much man!
There's no way the ball broke apart. The bird? Yeah, disinegrate might as well be the word to use.Both ball and bird were disintegrated in the impact.Okay, I realize we're taking some liberties with the term "disintegrated" here, but seriously?!? The ball was destroyed too?!? Holy s%&@ that sucker must've been cookin'! Baseballs are not soft. Birds... are. There must have been some insane velocity on that pitch to bust up the ball, especially considering that getting hit with a wooden bat generally doesn't do the trick.
Yeah, I may have overstated. I flipped to the ESPN article, which had this quote from hitter Calvin Murray: "There were nothing but feathers laying on home plate. I never saw the ball, nothing but feathers." I took that to mean he couldn't find the ball (which does drop to the backboard in the video), but maybe "disintegrated" was exaggerating it a bit.
The pitch was clocked at 116 MPH, though. There's going to be some plastic and elastic deformation upon contact at that velocity. But probably not enough to destroy the integrity of a baseball.
Mike
There's no way the ball broke apart. The bird? Yeah, disinegrate might as well be the word to use.Yeah, I may have overstated. I flipped to the ESPN article, which had this quote from hitter Calvin Murray: "There were nothing but feathers laying on home plate. I never saw the ball, nothing but feathers." I took that to mean he couldn't find the ball (which does drop to the backboard in the video), but maybe "disintegrated" was exaggerating it a bit.
The pitch was clocked at 116 MPH, though. There's going to be some plastic and elastic deformation upon contact at that velocity. But probably not enough to destroy the integrity of a baseball.
Mike
No worries, Mike. I wasn't meaning to suggest you were being literal, I was just responding to Fatespinner's wondering if the ball actually blew up too. I don't wanna see the impact that could do that to a baseball. <:)
The truth is out there, Jade.
The truth is out there, Jade.
I clicked on the link knowing full well that nothing could be as fantastic as what that article title caused me to imagine.
I clicked on the link knowing full well that nothing could be as fantastic as what that article title caused me to imagine.The truth is out there, Jade.
It's actually the name of my soon to be announced jazz/rock fusion group.
I have never been shat on...
unintentionally.
unintentionally.
I have never been shat on...
Well, there's that.
::remembers his trip to Montevideo.::
Ooh, wrong type of Ridin' Dirty.
Ooh, wrong type of Ridin' Dirty.
Yeah, y'know you think you're going for the resorts and the shopping, but then you're paying a guy to jeep you out into the mountains under cover of night to a place where they do stuff you never would have thought you'd see listed out next to each other on a menu. Things get freaky in Uruguay real quick.
I don't wanna see the impact that could do that to a baseball. <:)
It probably looks a little like this.
I don't wanna see the impact that could do that to a baseball. <:)It probably looks a little like this.
I bow to you, sir. Did you take 'comprehensive linking' as a feat or was it a racial ability?
That was one blowed-up ball. :)