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Some of you might have missed this...This is soo freaking funny... Found it on Keith Bakers Web site...
Here at Bossy the Cow, we're not afraid to ask the tough questions. Questions like:
WHAT'S THE BIGGEST SURPRISE IN FOURTH EDITION DUNGEONS & DRAGONS?
1. All the product placement. "Haste" spell changed to "Do the Dew™".
2. Now 80% Dungeons, 20% Dragons
3. Chinese gold farmers can get you to 20th level in 6 days!
4. Iron rations are made out of PEOPLE!
5. Revolutionary new THAC1 system! (It's one higher, isn't it?)
6. Traditional elves replaced by Keebler elves. Drizzt now a renegade fudge elf who wields twin graham crackers.
7. Twenty-part adventure path requires heroes to "Save the Cheerleader… save the Realms."
8. New version actually DOES drive kids to Satan.
9. New system actually based on popular "Dumb & Dumber" franchise.
10. How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 1d8+2. And a crunch.
11. Combat system abandons primitive dice in favor of cool "Wii"-mote.
12. Iconic characters from PHB replaced by the PCs from Order of the Stick
13. And of course…
Don't you mean "KEITH BAKER'S D&D 4th Edition"?
Hilarious! Keith Baker has a great (and much needed) sense of humor. I think his last point also has a double intention - as many of the D&D 4th Ed. conceits mentioned in the Worlds and Monsters Book are his innovations. Thoughts?
Cheers
Highly amusing, at least.
And I'd love to see the OotS crew as the new iconics. If nothing else, they'd be entertaining to see in every book.
I think a lot these are created by the readers of his web site. They are very funny (and so are a lot of the other Baker's Dozen)!
6. Traditional elves replaced by Keebler elves. Drizzt now a renegade fudge elf who wields twin graham crackers.
Oh man... that one line... just about killed me.
(I've got the mental image... it's.... too much...
These are awesome. Best 4E post in a long long time. :D
And I'd love to see the OotS crew as the new iconics. If nothing else, they'd be entertaining to see in every book.
I'd seriously buy a OotSCS. Talking my gaming group into playing it would be a piece of cake (hell of alot easier then talking them into playing anything else).
But yes, excellent 4E post. Much needed humor.
Pornomancers
Hey now! That's from Unknown Armies, it's already been done.
This one was my favourite:
Now only two classes – pirate and ninja. Monkey and robot to be added in 4.5
:)
Christ, now I've gotta try and get these noodles out of my nose.
Never, never eat ramen while reading jokes.
There are also new alignments, from what I understand.
Lawful Stupid--
Nuetral Stupid--
Chaotic Stupid--
I just pissed myself laughing and woke up my wife... who was not amused at 1am (and 3 days to go until she is due to give birth).
If I understood what it meant... I am sure i would laugh :-)
*now someone is going to tell me and make me feel like an idiot for not seeing it*
Unless I'm mistaken, it's a reference to Anti-D&D comics from the 1960's which featured a female Dungeon Master who took a girl under her wing and helped her develop actual magical powers. Another friend was playing as well, but her character was killed (the aforementioned Black Leaf) and she committed suicide.
The entire thing reeked of the aroma of McCarthyism and Religious Dogma. Kind of like the atrocious movie "Mazes and Monsters" starring Tom Hanks, if you've had the displeasure of seeing it.
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Unless I'm mistaken, it's a reference to Anti-D&D comics from the 1960's which featured a female Dungeon Master who took a girl under her wing and helped her develop actual magical powers. Another friend was playing as well, but her character was killed (the aforementioned Black Leaf) and she committed suicide.The entire thing reeked of the aroma of McCarthyism and Religious Dogma. Kind of like the atrocious movie "Mazes and Monsters" starring Tom Hanks, if you've had the displeasure of seeing it.
there was no D&D in the 1960s. Surely you mean the 1980s ?
Oh sweet Jebus it's been a long time since I read that. Good times all around... :)
"I don't want to be Elfstar- I want to be Debbie".
Gotta love the Chick- if you're not a Evangelical WASP, yer goin' to hell.Poor loon probably needs his food cut up for him.
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Unless I'm mistaken, it's a reference to Anti-D&D comics from the 1960's which featured a female Dungeon Master who took a girl under her wing and helped her develop actual magical powers. Another friend was playing as well, but her character was killed (the aforementioned Black Leaf) and she committed suicide.
The entire thing reeked of the aroma of McCarthyism and Religious Dogma. Kind of like the atrocious movie "Mazes and Monsters" starring Tom Hanks, if you've had the displeasure of seeing it.
Ahh Yes...YOu have the date wrong... But I do remember that... and I have seen Mazes and Monsters..
I also have a Printed Spoof of that Comic printed by White-Wolf during thier pre media Blitz of Hunter: The Reckoning.. Now if only I could find an online version of that..
Hey look, Dark Dungeons
There's a ton of parodies and spin-offs for that:
Darque Dungeon The Chique Trac Vampirised - including the lack of fear of the F-word, so beware.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 Presents Dark Dungeons The commented version of the tract.
Who will be eaten first This one uses original art, not just new texts. Instead of Christian beliefs, the Mythos is used.
There also was a counter to it using the webcomic PvP's characters, called Jesus Kills (this one wasn't to be taken as seriously as Chick wants his trackts to be taken).
There must be others out there.