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The Evolution of Philosophy (courtesy of Reddit):
"What does it mean to be good?"
- Aristotle"What does it mean to be?"
- Rene Descartes"What does it mean?"
- Friedrich Nietzsche"What does "it" mean?"
- Bertrand Russell"What does it?"
- C.S. Lewis"WHAT?!?"
- Alucard
Slightly improved version. :)
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Slightly improved version. :)The Evolution of Philosophy (courtesy of Reddit):
"What does it mean to be good?"
- Aristotle"What does it mean to be?"
- Rene Descartes"What does it mean?"
- Friedrich Nietzsche"What does "it" mean?"
- Bertrand Russell"What does it?"
- C.S. Lewis"WHAT?!?"
- Alucard
"What the...?"
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I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.
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"A black belt only covers two inches of your ass. You have to cover the rest."
- Royce Gracie, Brazilian mixed martial artist
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"An atheist is a man who watches a Notre Dame - Southern Methodist University game and doesn't care who wins."
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
"Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth."
- Mahatma Gandhi
"All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats."
- Groucho Marx
"We think too small, like the frog at the bottom of the well. He thinks the sky is only as big as the top of the well. If he surfaced, he would have an entirely different view."
- Mao Zedong
"A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know."
- Lenny Bruce
"The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today."
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
"If the audience knew what they wanted then they wouldn't be the audience, they would be the artist."
- Alan Moore
"Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good."
- Howard Stern
"What do you want a meaning for? Life is a desire, not a meaning."
- Charlie Chaplin
"We did not find it difficult to deal with Bush and his administration, because it is similar to regimes in our countries - both types include many who are full of arrogance and greed."
- Osama bin Laden
"The free way of life proposes ends, but it does not prescribe means."
- Robert F. Kennedy
"Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often."
- Mae West
"Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and missing? That's the way the mind of man operates."
- H. L. Mencken
"The white people should go back to Europe, and the country should be returned to the American Indians. This is the future I would like to see for the so-called United States."
- Bobby Fischer
"Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either."
- Albert Einstein
"Nothing great will ever be achieved without great men, and men are great only if they are determined to be so."
- Charles de Gaulle
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"“The main thing that I learned about conspiracy theory, is that conspiracy theorists believe in a conspiracy because that is more comforting. The truth of the world is that it is actually chaotic. The truth is that it is not the Iluminati, or the Jewish banking conspiracy, or the gray alien theory. The truth is far more frightening: nobody is in control. The world is rudderless.”
- Alan Moore
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"Conspiracy theorists of the world, believers in the hidden hands of the Rothschilds and the Masons and the Illuminati, we skeptics owe you an apology. You were right. The players may be a little different, but your basic premise is correct: The world is a rigged game."
- Matt Taibbi
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"I think being a liberal, in the true sense, is being nondoctrinaire, nondogmatic, non-committed to a cause - but examining each case on its merits. Being left of center is another thing; it's a political position. I think most newspapermen by definition have to be liberal; if they're not liberal, by my definition of it, then they can hardly be good newspapermen. If they're preordained dogmatists for a cause, then they can't be very good journalists; that is, if they carry it into their journalism."
- Walter Cronkite
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My all-time favorite quote:
"I believe I am right. Or, if not right, at least plausible."
- Ignatius L. Donnelly
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Melisandre of Asshai (Carice van Houten): "You should kneel before your brother. He is the Lord's chosen, born amidst salt and smoke."
Renly Baratheon (Gethin Anthony): "Born amidst salt and smoke? Is he a ham?"
- Game of Thrones, season 2, episode 4
"I don't know why they bother giving movies titles this time of year. Every movie should just be called 'F%~@ You, It's January!"
- Jay Bauman (film critic)
"A silver BMW full of frat guys drove back and forth down Euclid [St.] to yell 'John Mayer!' at me as I walked home. I yelled back: 'John Mayer's target audience!'"
- Daniel Powell (musician)
"There is a rumour going around that I have found God. I think this is unlikely because I have enough difficulty finding my keys, and there is empirical evidence that they exist."
— Terry Pratchett (author)
If an opponent cannot hurt you then you should ignore them, if they can then take away their ability to do so
-Martial Arts Traiinng
"Change is, and to all things a time."
Nathaniel: "You seem rather attached to that cat, Anders."
Anders: "It's more that he is rather attached to me. Isn't that right, Ser Pounce-a-lot?"
Ser Pounce-a-lot: (Meow!)
Nathaniel: "Isn't that name a little... ridiculous?"
Anders: "What do you think I should call him? Frederick?"
Nathaniel: "There are worse names, I suppose..."
- Dragon Age: Awakening
"I want something to be very clear here, and this is important: in order to create these dynamic shots, Michael Bay must have incredible attention to detail, and must put in a lot of hard work and a lot of hours to give each shot so many layers. I don't question Bay's commitment, and I think it's too easy to demonize him for his failings. He obviously cares about how his films look--there's nothing lazy about his work. But that doesn't change the fact that he doesn't seem to have any grasp on how much sensory overload he's putting into each scene, and how much this actually detracts from his own movies."
- film critic Leon Thomas, on the live-action Transformers films
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"Travel is one of the best anti-war weapons that there are. I've been to Iran, and if you're there you see little kids, cops, old people, cemeteries. Once you see that, you can't say, 'Oh, Iran, let's bomb them."
- Viggo Mortensen
"The utterly fallacious idea at the heart of the pro-war argument is that it is the duty of the anti-war argument to provide an alternative to war. The onus is on them to explain just cause."
- Zadie Smith
"The means of defense against foreign danger historically have become the instruments of tyranny at home."
- James Madison
"A coward is much more exposed to quarrels than a man of spirit."
- Thomas Jefferson
"Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty."
- George Washington
"A highwayman is as much a robber when he plunders in a gang as when single; and a nation that makes an unjust war is only a great gang."
- Benjamin Franklin
"Preventive war was an invention of Hitler. Frankly, I would not even listen to anyone seriously that came and talked about such a thing."
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
"War is a way of shattering to pieces, or pouring into the stratosphere, or sinking in the depths of the sea, materials which might otherwise be used to make the masses too comfortable, and hence, in the long run, too intelligent."
- George Orwell
"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice. This disgrace to civilization should be done away with at once. Heroism at command, senseless brutality, deplorable love-of-country stance, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be a part of so base an action! It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder."
- Albert Einstein
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"Britney, will you accept this rose?"
- Confucius
"Does this smell weird? I don't want to eat it if it smells weird"
- Marie Curie
"God, I've had the worst itch right at the top of my a** for like three days. Are you writing? Don't write that. We're not doing quotes yet."
- Theodore Roosevelt
"Are you a cop? Legally you have to tell me if you're a cop."
- Amelia Earhart
"Sometimes I pretend I'm the Mayor of my kitchen and veto fish for dinner. 'Too fishy!' is what I say!"
- Aristotle
The source for all of the above quotes, which are definitely real.
"Wars of pen and ink often lead to wars of cannon and bayonets."-Edward Counsel
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"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote."-Benjamin Franklin
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"The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other b%#&$#@ die for his."- George S. Patton
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"[Producers] didn't want them good; they wanted them Thursday."
- Ronald Reagan, on his early B-movie career
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"[N]ot having reporters at government meetings is like a teacher leaving her room of seventh-graders to supervise themselves. Best-case scenario: Britney gets gum in her hair; worst-case scenario: you no longer have a school."
- John Oliver
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"People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children."
- Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes (Bill Watterson)
I was working at a local music festival, and singer-songwriter David "Mockingbird" Montanye and I were in the process of disassembling a picnic table in order to get it through a door:
Me: "Man, this thing is full of f#!$ing screws. It's built like a battleship. Whoever built this table is probably a shill for Big Screw..."
David Montanye : "Hey, don't knock Big Screw. Big Screw is what's holding this country together."
"The Spider [Spider-Man] is a child-minded lunatic. He always wears a mask. When he sees someone else wearing a mask, he wants to destroy them. My special outfit is bulletproof."
- Captain America (Aytekin Akkaya), 3 Dev Adam (AKA Three Giant Men AKA Captain America and Santo vs. Spider-Man; 1973)
MSN.com article (Man Exposes Hidden Flaw in 20 Sided Die): "Using a trick discovered by golfers to see if their golf balls were balanced, dice expert Daniel Fisher shows how to check if 20 sided die are imbalanced or not."
First commenter: "As a DM for many years, I have had much more trouble with unbalanced players."
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"[It's] just like you thieves, always taking things that don't belong to you."
- Damodar (Bruce Payne), Dungeons & Dragons (2000)
“The argument that Hawking has offered may be conveyed by question-and-answer, as in the Catholic catechism. A Catechism of Quantum Cosmology Q: From what did our universe evolve? A: Our universe evolved from a much smaller, much emptier mini-universe. You may think of it as an egg. Q: What was the smaller, emptier universe like? A: It was a four-dimensional sphere with nothing much inside it. You may think of that as weird. Q: How can a sphere have four dimensions? A: A sphere may have four dimensions if it has one more dimension than a three-dimensional sphere. You may think of that as obvious. Q: Does the smaller, emptier universe have a name? A: The smaller, emptier universe is called a de Sitter universe. You may think of that as about time someone paid attention to de Sitter. Q: Is there anything else I should know about the smaller, emptier universe? A: Yes. It represents a solution to Einstein’s field equations. You may think of that as a good thing. Q: Where was that smaller, emptier universe or egg? A: It was in the place where space as we know it did not exist. You may think of it as a sac. Q: When was it there? A: It was there at the time when time as we know it did not exist. You may think of it as a mystery. Q: Where did the egg come from? A: The egg did not actually come from anywhere. You may think of this as astonishing. Q: If the egg did not come from anywhere, how did it get there? A: The egg got there because the wave function of the universe said it was probable. You may think of this as a done deal. Q: How did our universe evolve from the egg? A: It evolved by inflating itself up from its sac to become the universe in which we now find ourselves. You may think of that as just one of those things. This catechism, I should add, is not a parody of quantum cosmology. It is quantum cosmology.”
“Just who has imposed on the suffering human race poison gas, barbed wire, high explosives, experiments in eugenics, the formula for zyklon b, heavy artillery, pseudo-scientific justifications for mass murder, cluster bombs, attack submarines, napalm, intercontinental missiles , military space platforms and nuclear weapons? If memory serves it was not the Vatican.”
“If moral statements are about something, then the universe is not quite as science suggests it is, since physical theories, having said nothing about God, say nothing about right or wrong, good or bad. To admit this would force philosophers to confront the possibility that the physical sciences offer a grossly inadequate view of reality. And since philosophers very much wish to think of themselves as scientists, this would offer them an unattractive choice between changing their allegiances or accepting their irrelevance.”
― (all) David Berlinski, The Devil's Delusion: Atheism and its Scientific Pretensions
“Seek not the favor of the multitude; it is seldom got by honest and lawful means. But seek the testimony of few; and number not voices, but weigh them.”
― Immanuel Kant (This one's probably already here, but always worth a mention.) :)
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“Just who has imposed on the suffering human race poison gas, barbed wire, high explosives, experiments in eugenics, the formula for zyklon b, heavy artillery, pseudo-scientific justifications for mass murder, cluster bombs, attack submarines, napalm, intercontinental missiles , military space platforms and nuclear weapons? If memory serves it was not the Vatican.”
“Just who has imposed on the suffering human race poison gas, barbed wire, high explosives, experiments in eugenics, the formula for zyklon b, heavy artillery, pseudo-scientific justifications for mass murder, cluster bombs, attack submarines, napalm, intercontinental missiles , military space platforms and nuclear weapons? If memory serves it was not the Vatican.”
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"If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this."
-- C. S. Lewis
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"If you read history you will find that the Christians who did most for the present world were precisely those who thought most of the next. It is since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this."
-- C. S. Lewis
Welcome to the Paizo forums.
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An old high school classmate of mine recently decided to go back to university, and was accepted into Harvard Law School. With classes starting this week, she wrote this gem:
"You know, there are times, like at 4:30 AM when I'm getting up early to do reading, when I'm tired and bored, and wondering why I'm at law school, and I wish that I didn't have such a useless liberal arts degree. But then, the sun starts rising and illuminating the beautiful buildings of Harvard, and I realize that I'm at arguably the most prestigious university in the world, living so many people's dream. And in that moment, I think to myself: "Wow... I wish I didn't have such a useless liberal arts degree."
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"I don't like to read things that people write about me. I'd rather read what kids have to say about me because it's not their profession to do that." - David Bowie
"Don't think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It's self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can't try to do things. You simply must do things." - Ray Bradbury
"A man who has made no enemies is probably not a very good man." - Antonin Scalia
"Safe sex, safe music, safe clothing, safe hair spray, safe ozone layer. Too late! Everything that's been achieved in the history of mankind has been achieved by not being safe." - Lemmy Kilmister
"The ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world are the ones who do." - John McAfee
"If you're interested in 'balancing' work and pleasure, stop trying to balance them. Instead make your work more pleasurable." - Donald Trump
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams
"Violence isn't always evil. What's evil is the infatuation with violence." - Jim Morrison
"If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library." - Frank Zappa
One more from the Man of the Year:
"Songs don't have to be about going out on Saturday night and having a good rink-up and driving home and crashing cars. A lot of what I've done is about alienation... about where you fit in society." - David Bowie
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"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive."
-- C. S. Lewis
"The unwise man is awake all night,
and ponders everything over;
when morning comes he is weary in mind,
and all is a burden as ever."
--Some Norse guy or gal 800-1200 years ago.
"Collective fear stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity toward those who are not regarded as members of the herd."
-- Bertrand Russell
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"One small mankind and I'm gonna leap the heck outta this moon rocket. That's a quote by Kneel Aurmstrang."
- Dr. Steve Brule (John C. Reilly)