The euphemism would have been the first thing to cross my mind, but then I don't know much about football.
>go SW
You follow the subterranean passage deeper into the cave network.
In a rough hewn room you stumble upon a shivering little kobold clutching a cleaver as he raids the body of a long dead dungeoneer. He looks up at you, hissing, then brandishes his weapon and charges!
>eat kobold
Your mighty canine jaws make quick work of the scaly little beastie. What was he thinking taking on a wolf? There is a rumbly in your tumbly and your condition is now POOR. Perhaps you should choose your meals more wisely.
>INV
In your dog collar of holding you have:
A begemmed hairpin
A map
Tums
>eat tums
Your stomach is soothed but your mouth tastes like chalky cherry. Your condition is now GOOD.
On the subject of nemesises: my parody is my nemesis. I, unfortunately, am probably the nemesissy.
On the subject of nemesises: my parody is my nemesis. I, unfortunately, am probably the nemesissy.
*makes "fake moustache sign"*
Ha-HA!
I slap thee, my nemesissy!
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OK, here's one:
I attended a seminar at the local community center that involved what it takes to go to a good college.
The speaker said this. Verbatim:
When you go to college, you need to find a field in which you are mentally challenged.
Yes, she said mentally challenged.
I wonder if she's ever met Dan Quayle?
Lil scaly choom. Aww <:)
Choom Choominy,
Choom Choominy,
Choom Choom Chiroo,
Into this sweet reptile we'll enter a tool.
And then it will scream out get shaky and spew!
*Once again whacks unfortunate wolf while sneezing some gross stuff on him*
"Ugh, a cold.... lemme banish it..."
::Produces a tissue with which to wipe the ample dribble from the still shocked and shivering choom::
Poor thing, did Big Daddy bust you all up? I should have been nicer about the whole thing.
I hope upon the day that kobolds and wolves shall walk into the glorious sunset together. Free of tricks and traps and yips and yaps.
Wow. You actually have me stymied to produce a plausible explanation for that pair of quite absurd examples. I actually hunger to know their answers.
Choom Choominy,
Choom Choominy,
Choom Choom Chiree,
A kobold's as lucky as lucky can be...
Bustin' out the "Mary Poppins" tunes, very nice. I used to have the original on...those big black cd's....(the other side was "Step in Time."
"Chim chiminey
Chim chiminey
Chim chim cher-ee!
A sweep is as lucky
As lucky can be"
Considering what the guys who repaired my chimney made on the job, lucky isn't a bad description.
::Produces a tissue with which to wipe the ample dribble from the still shocked and shivering choom::
Poor thing, did Big Daddy bust you all up? I should have been nicer about the whole thing.
I hope upon the day that kobolds and wolves shall walk into the glorious sunset together. Free of tricks and traps and yips and yaps.
*Whacks wolf in painful area*
"That is it! The eternal night begins NOW!!!"*Makes a big deal out of forcibly extinguishing street lamps*
*Whacks other guys in other painful areas*
Normally I like my kibbles and bits to assault the choom, but whichever is fine, I guess.
Let's not forget the braile on the drive through ATM, or the headphone socket.
Really? That is fantastically absurd!
In practicality, I guess someone too impatient to stand in line drives a blind person to the ATM and lets them lean over to diddle with the keypad. A blind person wouldn't be able to tell if the driver was spying their secret code, so they may as well just ask the driver to punch it in for them, at which point braille becomes unnecessary.
RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16
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I hate to rain on people's parades, but:
The ATM interfaces which I deal with all ask my language preference *before* ascertaining who I am.
The blind-adaptable ATMs are in the drive-throughs (a) because it would be stupidly expensive to design a special ATM console just for the bank drive-throughs, and (b) as my friend Charlotte --blind from birth--pointed out to me, they're actually useful when the blind person who wants to use the ATM is riding directly behind the driver.
What kind of monster are you, Chris?
I hate to rain on people's parades, but:
I like rain on parades.
My god! It's spreading! The monsters are everywhere!
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Let's not forget the braile on the drive through ATM, or the headphone socket.Absurd -
The ATM machine knows your name and exactly how much money you have in your account, but it can never remember if you speak English or not.
I've actually seen the following signs:
(on an ATM): "If you are blind, the keys are also in Braille."
(on a FREAKIN' BILLBOARD): "Can't read? We can help. Just call _."
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I hate to rain on people's parades, but:I like rain on parades.
You would. Emo kid. Read this. It might cure you.
One of Ambien's side-effects is drowsiness. O.o
My god! It's spreading! The monsters are everywhere!I redirect you here.
Quite funny. Thanks for the looksee.
One of Ambien's side-effects is drowsiness. O.o
I should certainly hope so.
I've actually seen the following signs:(on an ATM): "If you are blind, the keys are also in Braille."
(on a FREAKIN' BILLBOARD): "Can't read? We can help. Just call _."
At first those seem inarguably absurd, but I've been burned once. I'll wait for Chris' assessment.
There is a Chinese restaurant near my apartment that has a sign advertising:
"Free Take Out and Devilry"
I bought a Chinese-made laptop fan that told me it would help with the "assencion of the noodles".
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One of Ambien's side-effects is drowsiness. O.o
A journalist I know did a study on it, and found that Ambien is actually a mild hallucinogen. One guy reported that he decided to stop taking it when he realized that he was making faces at his desk lamp, trying to cheer it up. Another guy reported a bizarre hallucination involving a satanic apparition resembling Emmanuel Lewis that was accompaned by an army of cupcake-people.
Never. Take. Ambien. If. You. Want. To. Stay. Any. Measure. Of. Sane.
Period.
One of Ambien's side-effects is drowsiness. O.oA journalist I know did a study on it, and found that Ambien is actually a mild hallucinogen. One guy reported that he decided to stop taking it when he realized that he was making faces at his desk lamp, trying to cheer it up. Another guy reported a bizarre hallucination involving a satanic apparition resembling Emmanuel Lewis that was accompaned by an army of cupcake-people.
Never. Take. Ambien. If. You. Want. To. Stay. Any. Measure. Of. Sane.
Period.
I never forgot your first recounting of the cupcake people. Chilling.
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Here are a few interesting news headlines:
- MUSLIM CENTER MAY HAVE ISLAMIC TIES
- AREA MAN DIES FROM FATAL LUNG
- CIA ANNOUNCES SECRET WIRETAPS
- MAN ARRESTED FOR DRINKING WHILE INTOXICATED
And last but not least, there was the infamous "ORBITUARIES" section that appeared for nearly a month before it was fixed.
(from the Glens Falls, Plattsburgh, and Warwick, New York newspapers)
There is a Chinese restaurant near my apartment that has a sign advertising:
"Free Take Out and Devilry"I assumed that they meant to write delivery on their awning but when I went inside. . .nope - they actually worship Satan.
Great Kung Pow Chicken though. . .
That would make a great scene for a beginning of a Tales From the Darkside or Amazing Stories.
Here are a few interesting news headlines:
- MUSLIM CENTER MAY HAVE ISLAMIC TIES
- AREA MAN DIES FROM FATAL LUNG
- CIA ANNOUNCES SECRET WIRETAPS
- MAN ARRESTED FOR DRINKING WHILE INTOXICATEDAnd last but not least, there was the infamous "ORBITUARIES" section that appeared for nearly a month before it was fixed.
(from the Glens Falls, Plattsburgh, and Warwick, New York newspapers)
Too funny.
This thread is getting weirder than the 'I am sorry, Heathenson' thread.
...speaking of which, I've gotta resurrect that...
Director of Narrative
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I bought a Chinese-made laptop fan that told me it would help with the "assencion of the noodles".There is a Chinese restaurant near my apartment that has a sign advertising:
"Free Take Out and Devilry"
I don't know if you have already chewed too much lead paint (or Ambien) to have minor appliances speaking to you, but I am sure that you were talking to the pasta machine.
I don't know if you have already chewed too much lead paint (or Ambien) to have minor appliances speaking to you, but I am sure that you were talking to the pasta machine.I bought a Chinese-made laptop fan that told me it would help with the "assencion of the noodles".There is a Chinese restaurant near my apartment that has a sign advertising:
"Free Take Out and Devilry"
I should have phrased that better: the box told me. Doesn't take as much lead to have boxes talk to you.
I bought a Chinese-made laptop fan that told me it would help with the "assencion of the noodles".There is a Chinese restaurant near my apartment that has a sign advertising:
"Free Take Out and Devilry"
Lol, how much Ambein have you had?
Eating D&D minis made in China is bad for your brain.
Eating minis is bad for you no matter their origin. Unless of course they're organic minis.